Three Wise Monkeys

Hey! pale-blue11 here!

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter, I really appreciate hearing your thoughts :) This is one of the shorter chapters (all expect the last have been typed and edited), and I'm sorry for that. Hopefully it's good enough to make up for that. (Hi Meghan :D)

WARNINGS: character death, blood, language. More will be added as they become necessary.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or its characters

CHAPTER TWO • The First Monday

Dearest Central Daily,

I am writing to—in a sense—give myself up.

While I will not disclose my name or any such personal information, please believe that all other admittances are correct and true. I have noticed that, out of all the major papers, your corporation has covered my story the most extensively. I cannot express how flattered I am by your efforts.

Of my eight greatest works, seven have been documented by your journalists. While I will not speak of the latest death, please note that the mistake was not the fault of Central Daily. I will leave out the victim's name so that this letter may be published.

This is not a letter of warning, nor a letter of want. It's simply an introduction, since I hope to continue to bring you business.

Regards,

No One.

XxX

"I'm telling you, it's him."

Roy shook his head, pinching his nose in a familiar, exasperated way. "For the last time, Fullmetal, you have no evidence to support that. You said yourself that you couldn't find him Friday night, and this writing doesn't match Jeremy Colt's!"

Ed snatched the letter from his superior's desk. On anyone else, his glare would have at least caused a flinch, but Roy gave no reaction save for annoyance.

The strange article had appeared in the Central Daily that morning, and barely hours after its publication, Ed had found the original copy. Though 'found' was a fairly inaccurate word. He doubted the letter was real, but something had to happen! He just needed to convince Mustang that Colt was 'No One' and the case would be over. Colt would be behind bars. Ed would be slightly more satisfied. Slightly.

Ed let out a loud growl of frustration—he wanted it to be over!—and Mustang glanced up from the work he was pretending to do.

"Look, Fullmetal," Roy began, rubbing his temples as if he had a headache, "I can tell you're missing your brother, but that's not the fault of the military or even this Colt guy-"

"I know, I know." Ed flapped his hands dismissively. The action reminded him of how hard it was to clean his automail that night. He continued to speak in a mocking tone, "Alphonse chose to leave so the mission would go more quickly. Is that what you were gonna say?"

Roy smirked. "More or less. But let's go through the facts of this case again, alright?"

Edward sighed dramatically and resisted the urge to flop bonelessly into the visitor's chair. He didn't need another excuse for Roy to tease him.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'." Mustang nodded to himself, ignoring Ed's exaggerated eye-roll. "From this letter—if we assume it's real—we can determine that there was a victim the night of your incompetence."

Ed hissed through his teeth.

"This would explain the blood in that dingy excuse for a pub." There, Roy's nose crinkled almost imperceptibly. He was probably remembering the smell. Ed might have laughed if he wasn't doing the same. "But this time, he chose to take the body with him."

"That makes no sense," Ed pointed out. "Colt's not strong enough to carry a body so far in that time."

"Fullmetal..." Roy's eyebrow twitched, causing Ed great joy. "Just for one minute... pretend that you're not immediately right, and check out every option before finding problems with the only one you believe. You're being contradictory, shrimp."

A low growling entered the office, and it took both occupants several confused moments to discover that it was coming from Ed. Roy leant back, pushing his paperwork away.

"No yelling today? I never thought you'd run out of words so fast."

It was with a burning passion that Ed wished he could have a different superior officer. "Watch what you say, bastard. This case is important."

"Is that so?"

"Bastard," Ed muttered once again under his breath. Louder, he said, "If you're not gonna help, I'll go out and find him."

Roy shook his head, smirk widening. "I don't give you permission to do so. Not until you show me proof."

"I'll do that," Ed called as he walked out. If the words sounded a little angrier than he planned, so be it. "I'll find proof so solid not even Armstrong could knock it down!"

"Wait, Fullmetal!" Roy called as Edward's hand touched the doorknob. Ed turned and raised an eyebrow expectantly. "You're going after who may be a dangerous killer."

"I know."

"It might be wise to bring somebody along."

There was no reply.

"Maybe an adult?" Roy offered calmly. "Someone to hold your hand as you cross the street?"

Without another word, Ed yanked open the door and slammed it behind him. It made quite the considerable crash—nearly enough to satisfy Ed's rage at the Colonel.

Nearly, but not quite.

XxX

"Yes, Al, I'm fine." Ed balled the phone cord in his fist, gently working his fingers through the tangles.

His brother's anxious voice came through the phone not a second later. "But I saw the papers! Are you saying that this is the guy you're after?"

Ed sighed wearily. "Yeah, that's what I said. Do you have any help for your poor older brother?"

"Don't get yourself into these situations."

"Well it's not as if I have a choice!"

Then it was Alphonse's turn to sigh. "Whatever you say, Brother."

"Can you help me or not?"

"Of course." Al sounded annoyed, though Edward couldn't see why. Shouldn't he be happy to receive such an impromptu phone call? "You wanted a way to find evidence?"

"That's right," Ed affirmed with a grin. Finally, they were getting somewhere.

"Why don't you bring him in for questioning?"

Ed scowled, knowing that Al would feel it through the phone. "The colonel said I wasn't allowed."

Al hummed thoughtfully. "Then... You could stake out his house? Maybe follow him with a camera or something?"

Moments away from disagreeing, Ed froze and thought about it. "Yeah..." he said after a long pause. "That could work... Mustang won't need to know how I got it, as long as I find some evidence."

"Sure, Brother. Just be careful."

Ed nodded emphatically. "Yeah! Always!"

There was a strong silence from the other end of the phone. When Alphonse next spoke, he was quiet. "Brother? Should... Should I come back to Central? I could help you."

"Nah." Ed let go of the handful of plastic coated wires. They bounced down in more of a knot than when he had started. "I'll be done soon. Say 'hi' to Winry and Granny for me."

"Okay."

"I'll see you soon."

"Okay."

Ed felt guilt settle into the pit of his stomach. Al thought he didn't want to see him, but that couldn't be more of a lie. He just didn't want his little brother dragged into it, too. "Bye, Al."

"Bye, Brother."

Ed went to hang up, but Alphonse had one more thing to add.

"Make sure you keep your promise. Come back."

Ed gave a tight, sad smile. "I will."

It was Al who hung up the phone first, so Ed was left listening to the dial tone until he finally found the will to put it down.

Someone knocked impatiently on the outside of the public phone booth and Ed looked up at them in alarm, before relaxing. They called something through the glass, gesturing angrily.

"Ah, yeah." Ed gave a quick nod and pocketed his spare change. The man huffed as he stepped out, but Ed merely rolled his eyes. He wasn't going to apologise for talking to his brother. It was a public phone booth, after all.

The sky had filled with clouds while Ed was talking, casting a gloomy grey light down on Central. Ed tried not to think about it too much. He was trying not to think much at all, lately. Whenever he did, he found his mind drifting to the events of the last Friday. It wasn't pleasant, to say the least.

Therefore, Ed chose to ignore it. If he didn't acknowledge his unnatural resurrection, it never happened. That was the way it worked. There was only one other person who knew about his death.

Colt. His freaking murderer. Ed had to make sure that fact remained a secret.

He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his pants and took off towards the dormitory. With Mustang unwilling to give up any information, Ed resigned himself to several hours of sneaky research.

Soooo... please let me know what you think :)