Author's note: I cannot wait to find out what you think of this chapter!
Many thanks to my beta JavisTG for all your enthusiasm for this story and this moment.
And thanks also to writingbutunpublished for kicking me into writing the events in this chapter sooner than intended.
Happy reading!
Chapter Twenty-Three
Peeta smoothed his hand over his hair as he walked up to the front steps of Katniss's house. He raised his hand to knock, but the door flew open.
Katniss laughed. "Sorry. I've never been on a real date before, I'm a little anxious."
He smiled confidently. "Well, I'm here." He held out the bouquet of flowers made out of cookies. "The gentleman in me wanted to bring flowers, but the baker in me said cookies."
She laughed again. "Thank you. I'll go put them in a glass of milk."
He let out a guffaw. "That's a good one."
"Come in. I'll get my purse." She stepped back.
Peeta followed her inside. Katniss wore the same green shirt she'd worn the day at court. Did she only have green shirts or had she liked being complimented on it?
She put the cookies on a plate on the counter in the kitchen and then picked up her handbag from beside the door. "So where are we going?"
"It's a surprise." He held out his hand.
"I've never been a big fan of surprises." Katniss stopped beside his car.
Peeta smiled and opened the door for her. "You remember how I told you I was waiting to get a response for an offer I put in on a house?"
"Yeah?"
"It was accepted. I got the keys and had all the utilities turned on earlier this week."
She smiled and squeezed his arm. "That's so great! Congratulations!"
"Thanks." He took her hand in his. "I stocked up the kitchen a bit. I figured we could cook together. Kind of relax."
She let out a relieved breath. "I'm so glad." She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and slid into the passenger seat.
Peeta ran around to the other side of the car and started it out of the driveway. "I know you're still trying to figure it out. And, well, it's been quite a while since I was on a date myself. Thought I should stick to something I know."
"I like to cook." Katniss slipped her hand into his. "What are we making?"
"Curry." He kissed her knuckles. "And I made an extra pie at work for our dessert. Apple." He pulled into a house just a block from the bakery. "What do you think?"
She looked up at the two story building. "Two floors."
"Four bedrooms." He looked over. "I know we're still a long way from it, but I bought it with you and your kids in mind."
She squeezed his fingers. "I appreciate that." She opened her car door. "Show me around." She got out. "And then feed me. I'm starving."
He laughed and held out his hand. After unlocking the door, he swept his hand inside. "Welcome to my new home."
She let out a giddy laugh and hurried inside. The front room was a living room/dining room combo. It connected to the kitchen by a small island. The kitchen was large and everything was stainless steel.
"Yay, fingerprints everywhere." Katniss commented with a grin.
Peeta laughed. "Yeah, that's going to be something I have to figure out." He polished the fridge door with his sleeve. "It's pretty though."
"It is. And I can see what sold you here." She opened the oven. "That's huge!"
"You can fit a full-sized turkey in there." He took her hand. "We'll be in here enough tonight. Come see the rest."
There was a half bath and a bedroom downstairs. "This will be my painting studio for a while, I think." He pointed to the windows. "Lots of great natural light." He led her upstairs. Two bedrooms were connected by a bathroom. "Perfect for kids." He smiled.
Katniss looked around and nodded. "Yeah." She chewed her lip.
"What are you not saying?" Peeta asked, slipping his arm around her waist.
"That Becca and Callie could share this room." She pointed to the end farthest from the bathroom. "Two little beds right there with a desk or something in the middle. Callie's doll house there and Becca's little kitchen thing there." She pointed out a few more things.
"Katniss—"
"Just thinking. About how it could work." She walked into the other room. "Not that I want it to happen any time soon. But maybe in a year or so." She looked out the window toward the back yard. "Sam likes watching the trees change with the seasons."
Peeta wrapped his arms around Katniss from behind. "We have that in common." He kissed her cheek. "I'll make this a play room for now. But we can go ahead and put two beds in the other. For Becca to sleep over whenever you and Gale are okay with it."
She leaned back against him. "Thank you." She trailed her fingers over the back of his hand. "I love that spark."
He smiled and kissed her again before stepping away. "Not to be presumptuous, but you should come check out the master. Three people could fit in the shower."
She laughed and followed him into the other room. There was a bed sitting against the wall. It was the only furniture in the whole house except for the small dining set she'd spotted in the kitchen.
"Not presumptuous at all." Katniss said, dropping down onto the mattress and giving it an experimental bounce.
Peeta felt his face heat up and he stammered. "Well, I, um… I wanted to… I mean, if you…"
She stood back up. She gently took his face in her hands. "Hey, it's okay. I get it. I like that you planned ahead." She pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "Good on you, Helen." She said with a smirk. She poked her head into the bathroom and nodded in approval. Dragging him out of the bedroom, she said, "Show me how to make curry."
In the kitchen, Peeta handed Katniss a bunch of carrots and potatoes to clean and chop. He put on some rice to cook. "Sometimes I go lazy and just put in frozen veggies, but I figure tonight was special enough for the fresh stuff." He started chopping up chicken breast.
She laughed. "Well, thank you."
"You're welcome." Peeta put a little oil in a frying pan and let it heat up. "So, can I ask you something?"
She paused in her chopping. "Anything?"
"Were you ever happy?" He busied himself with chopping a potato. "With Gale?"
He glanced up to see her chewing on her lip.
"I'm sorry, that's stepping over—"
"No." She went back to the last of the carrots. "It's fine. I was just thinking." She sighed. "I guess I was. Most of the time." She sat aside her knife. "I never felt like I had other options."
"Because his family took you in and gave you job?"
Katniss nodded.
Peeta put the veggies into the pan with the chicken. "A couple great things happened in your marriage, though."
She smiled fondly. "Yeah. A couple of the best things." She stepped over and slipped her arm around his waist. "Were you happy with Alex?"
"I was so happy with her that I feel guilty when I'm happy with you." He sighed and rested his head against hers. "I just keep thinking about it. And I can't figure out how to stop."
"Feeling guilty?"
He nodded and stirred the food in the frying pan. "I want to believe that she'd be excited for us. She was always so curious about soulmates. I…" He sighed and moved away. "I don't know."
Katniss crossed her arms and leaned against the counter. "You're never going to know. And that sucks. But I hope you can figure out a way to move past it. I don't ever want you to forget about her. She was a big part of your life." She reached out and took his hand. "Hey, look at me."
Peeta slowly looked over.
"How about we move on to happier subjects for tonight?"
"Like what?"
"Like… Why do you like to bake?"
He laughed. "It's soothing." He measured out some coconut milk and water and poured it into the frying pan. "I like the way the dough feels under my hands when I'm kneading it. And then the cake decorating. I like the repetitive motions." He scooped some curry paste into the pan and stirred. "I can do it in my sleep."
She chuckled. "I like when I get to watch you."
"Well, I have a lot of cakes to work on tomorrow. You can come watch me if you want." He leaned in and stole a kiss. "Do you like making bows?"
Katniss considered Peeta's question a moment while she drew circles on the back of his hand. "Yes, I do. I mean, I didn't really think it would be my career. But I sucked up everything my dad wanted to teach me." She grinned. "I can carve more than bows. But I haven't been nurturing it in these last few years, so I'm a little rusty."
He went to the cupboard and pulled out bowls and glasses. "Well, I'd love to see what you can do."
Katniss filled the glasses with water from the fridge door. "Maybe I'll try my hand at it."
Peeta stuck spoons in the bowls and carried them to the table. "So if you could be anything else, what would it be?"
"I honestly don't know." She sat beside him and stirred the curry. "I was going to go to school for business."
Peeta laughed. "What?"
With a nod, Katniss lifted her spoon to her mouth. "I don't know what I was going to even do with it. I didn't have the chance."
"You never really said what happened to your parents."
"Car accident." She rested her hand on his knee. "I didn't want to upset you, so I decided to keep those details to myself."
"I appreciate that." He rested his hand on top of hers. "But I can compartmentalize a bit. My accident was not your parents' accident."
"It just happened so fast." Katniss stirred the contents of her bowl. "My mom had depression. And she'd just been hospitalized…" She sighed. "Dad had been up all night for a couple days trying to get caught up on orders. He went to pick Mom up." She took a deep breath to steady herself. "You can probably figure out the rest."
"I'm so sorry." He said softly. "You were eighteen?"
"Seventeen. I was just about done with high school." She pushed her bowl away. "Bobby and Hazelle fought for custody of me and Prim. Then I asked for them to help me become Prim's guardian after I turned eighteen. And you know the rest."
Peeta scooted his chair back and then tugged Katniss across to his lap. "You okay?"
She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I think about all our lives together and how my life is now. And I just feel like I deserve a break. I deserve more than just being someone's mother and being content and just…existing."
"You do." He rubbed her back. "We both do."
She looked into his eyes a moment. Hers were stormy skies. "I'm done eating the curry. It was delicious."
"There's pie over there on the counter." He smoothed his hands up her back.
"I was about to suggest the condoms in my purse, but if you want pie first—"
Peeta stood then, scooping Katniss into his arms effortlessly. "I didn't buy a new bed just for it to look nice." He bound out of the room, struggling a little on the stairs.
"You don't have to carry me the whole way." She assured him.
"It's just my leg…" He sat her on her feet on the step just above. "I have pins that pieced the bones back together. Still a lot of pain sometimes."
She slipped her hand into his. "Come show me."
He led her into the bedroom. He hesitated at the light switch.
"I have stretch marks and scars. I don't mind you seeing them." She reached over and flipped on the light. "And I want to see all of you."
He nodded and reached up to cup her face, tangling his fingers in her hair. "Katniss, I love you. Not just in past lives, but in this one. And it kind of scares me."
Katniss smiled and stepped closer, resting her hands on Peeta's hips. "Let me help you not to be so scared." She pressed her lips to his as she slipped her hands up the back of his shirt.
He slid his hands down her neck to the top buttons of her shirt. He popped them slowly, dropping his head to follow the track of her newly exposed skin
"Just pull it off." She panted, reaching for her hem.
Peeta helped Katniss lift off her shirt. Then he wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his mouth to her shoulder for a series of soft kisses.
"You want to run down and get me my purse?" She asked softly.
"No need." He stepped back and pulled his shirt off. "There are condoms in the bathroom. I'll get them in a minute." He took her hands and pulled her toward the bed. "Want to see my gnarly scars?"
"You bet I do. Scars are sexy." She dropped to her knees and unfastened his jeans, pulling them down to the floor. She trailed her finger over the line that ran from just above his left knee down to the middle of the shin. The other leg had a series of smaller scars.
"The left leg was broken and cut up with glass. The right was pretty torn up with the glass." He combed his fingers through her hair.
She looked up at him as she rubbed her hands up and down his legs. "Does it still hurt sometimes?"
"When the pressure changes outside. Like when it's about to storm." He held his hand out. "Show me yours."
Katniss kicked off her shoes and then pushed her pants down. "My dear, sweet Rebecca was breech and refused to turn. So they had to perform a C-section." She pointed to the scar that ran across her lower stomach.
"She's stubborn, isn't she?" Peeta kicked off his shoes and pants before wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Yeah, like her mother." She wrapped her arms around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "So, what do you want to do next?"
"How about we finish getting naked and then get in bed?"
"Only if you get the condoms." She kissed him. "I'm sorry if I sound obsessive, I just don't want to have to worry about a baby so soon."
"I completely understand." He pulled the blanket down and patted the mattress. "Get comfortable and I'll be right back."
Peeta returned to find Katniss sitting on the side of the bed, completely naked. She chewed her lip uncertainly as she looked up at him.
"Did you ever have sex with anyone but Alex?" She asked, her eyes full of conflict.
He shook his head. "Just her."
"It was only Gale for me." She rubbed her face. "You're not supposed to bring other people in the bedroom. Prim warned me—"
He dropped to the floor in front of her. "It's fine. I know a few things that I like. But I might like different things with you. So, I'm definitely looking forward to figuring it out."
"I don't really know what I like." She admitted softly. "I never really…liked it. Not completely."
"Then we'll just play around and see what happens." He rubbed her thighs. "Okay?"
She nodded and moved up onto the bed.
He shucked his underwear and followed, wrapping his arms around her. He kissed her slowly, grabbing onto her bottom and pulling her on top of him.
Katniss tangled her fingers in Peeta's hair. "Touch me more." She murmured against his lips.
"Tell me where?" He panted. His arousal was growing more prominent.
She took his hand from behind her back and guided it between her legs. "It takes me a bit to get going, so you can start."
He started rubbing slow circles into her clit while his other hand roamed slowly over the rest of her body. "Like that?"
She nodded and pressed her mouth to his neck. She kissed every inch of his skin she could reach, humming against his skin. Every bit of him sparked. It felt like someone was running a live wire over his chest where her mouth touched. And his fingertips felt like they were pressing that same electricity into her.
She gasped and sat up.
Peeta's hands went still. "What?"
Grabbing his wrist, Katniss pushed it back into motion. "It's working a lot quicker than normal."
He tangled his other hand in her hair. "Not to be narcissistic or anything, but do you think it's because it's me?"
"It has to be. I'm on fire everywhere." She rested her forehead against his and pressed her hips down into his hand. She gasped again and then gripped his shoulders tight as she met her orgasm.
She collapsed against him and he held her close as she panted.
"That doesn't usually happen?" He asked softly as he trailed his fingers down her spine.
"No, it doesn't." She lifted her head. "I saw you as three different people at once. It was amazing."
"Three different people?"
"You were you. But I saw Helen, too. And someone else. Another man." She kissed him softly and wrapped her hand around his hard length. "He was broad and he had red hair."
"The Scot." He gasped and let his head fall back against the wall.
"I don't remember that one." She reached over the side of the bed to find the box he'd left there.
Peeta sighed and rubbed Katniss's arm as she opened the box. "Highlander and his tiny little kidnapped bride. Except it was only a fake kidnapping. We were from opposing clans. Very Romeo and Juliet."
"Don't tell me we both died a few days after the wedding." She opened a packet and rolled the condom on.
"No, I think we lasted a while." He combed his fingers through her hair.
"I remember now." She sat back on his thighs and thought a moment. "We lasted a few years and then I died after I gave birth to our second child."
Peeta chewed his lip a moment and then nodded. "I think you're right." He wrapped his arms around Katniss's waist and rolled her beneath him. "I wonder who I'll see."
"I can't wait." She said breathlessly.
He kissed her softly as he guided himself inside her.
She let out a satisfied moan as she settled around him.
"Are you okay?" It was said in a strained voice.
"Yeah." She breathed.
"I'm gonna…"
She nodded and clutched at his bottom. "It's fine."
Peeta clamped his mouth over Katniss's again as he started to move within her. He wrapped his arm around her waist while the other braced against the mattress.
Touching Katniss and bringing her to her climax was one thing. Being inside her and feeling the electricity running through him there was so surreal. As Peeta grew closer, he lifted his head and looked down at her. What he saw was Ruth with her blonde curls and her cheeky smile.
He blinked and she was Katniss again, smiling up at him. "You okay?"
"Ruthie." He kissed her again. "God, Katniss, this is…"
"Everything." She finished for him.
He nodded and then stepped over into his orgasm. Several faces flashed over Katniss's as he looked down at her.
He kissed her softly once more before he moved to the side.
"I wonder why there's so much Ruth and Helen." Katniss said softly as she slipped her hand into Peeta's.
"Maybe because they were so recent." He panted.
"Maybe." She moved to her side and propped her head on her hand. "I told Becca and Sam about them. I said I never asked what happened to Helen after Ruth died."
"Yeah, jumping off a bridge isn't a fairytale ending." He pulled her arm across his waist. "You want pie?"
"I'd love some pie."
He smiled and pulled her in for a kiss. "I'll be right back." He scurried down to the kitchen, avoiding the un-curtained windows as best as he could.
He stepped into the room to find Katniss curled up on the bed with her face pressed into the pillow. He hurried over and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"
She nodded and lifted her head. "It was always because it was supposed to be you. And I wasted ten years married to someone else. Because I didn't care about this stupid soulmate thing before."
He pulled her against him and kissed her temple. "Hey, it's okay. Let's not worry about all the chances we missed. Let's be happy we have each other now." He grabbed her face. "I'm not losing you this time. Not to death or circumstance. I'm here until I'm old and gray. You're not going to lose me."
She nodded and pulled him into a desperate kiss, falling onto the bed once more.