THREE WISE MONKEYS

Hey! pale-blue11 here!

Thanks again to all the reviewers—and sorry the replies were late! I'm not gonna say exactly what's going on in my life ('cause that would be fucking boring), but this is the first time I've used my computer for anything other than study.

With that said, I hope you all enjoy chapter sixteen!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or its characters.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN • The Last Monday—part 2

"Yo, Shorty."

Ed released a growl at the derogatory nickname, glaring at the homunculus with a mad look in his eye.

Envy sat on the opposite side of the cavernous room, one arm draped over his knee and the other across his thigh. It was the perfect picture of 'relaxed', but Edward could see the tightly-coiled muscles already prepared to spring into action at a moment's notice. He was the same; a physical ache had settled into his joints, urging him forward.

When a few tense seconds passed in complete silence, Envy gave a loud sigh. "This is boring, Pipsqueak. At least tell me what you've been up to."

A sound that may have been a sob escaped Ed's chest as he laid eyes on his tormentor. He wanted to meld that grinning mouth shut. He wanted to claw out those taunting violet orbs. He wanted… He wanted...

"I'm gonna kill you."

"Oh." Envy raised an eyebrow, his smile stretching towards his ears. "So that's how it is, huh? Really? No 'thank you, dear Envy, for helping me get stronger'?"

Ed's fists clenched together so hard that his automail creaked. "Fuck you."

Envy hummed thoughtfully as he gracefully rose. His toes touched the edge of the ruined transmutation circle. "That hurts," he said in an airy voice, as if he were talking about the heightening price of coal. But then he looked up, and his satisfied expression turned to one of glee. "Oh-ho! Look at those eyes, Pipsqueak! You really are a homunculus now!"

A guttural, animalistic roar filled the hall as Edward charged forward. His body was weightless, tingling, and powered purely on a rage more intense than that he'd ever experienced. Maybe that was what the people of Ishbal had felt while their families, friends, homes, and lives crumbled beneath the force of the Amestrian army. If so, Ed had no idea how they had lost.

Edward didn't bother bringing out his blade. He wanted to feel the bones of Envy's face cave in under his fist, those tremors and cracks travelling through the metal and into his nerve endings like tiny sparks of ecstasy. The blade would be too clean, too simple, and it would lack that fundamental intimacy Ed wanted.

But his punch never connected.

Envy leapt backwards with an ease that must have taken years to perfect, avoiding Ed by less than a few inches. The elder homunculus laughed in mid-air. "Hey, Shorty!" His feet didn't even make a sound as he alighted a couple of metres away, temptingly within reach. A smirk completed the mocking bow as he said, "Welcome to the family!"

Even though Ed's voice had returned, he abandoned it, preferring instead to unleash another wild yell of frustration and lunge forward again. And his knuckles struck. Envy, still bent over almost double, shuddered as his skull returned to its normal shape from within a burst of red lightning, and he took a few quick steps back.

"Good shot," Envy praised him, but there was nothing impressed in his attitude. The joking mood was gone, and Ed steeled himself for a returning blow. "You know…" Envy's fingers twitched, a dulled version of his previous joy forcing its way back onto his face. "I learnt… a lot about you last week, but…"

Ed breathed in deep, gritting his teeth in order to ask, "What?"

"I never found out—" the homunculus' arm distorted into a large blade that scraped along the ground and threw up sparks, "—if you had any abilities."

Frowning, Ed echoed, "Abilities?"

Envy didn't reply; he surged forward, the blade swinging around in a gleaming arc. Ed barely managed to block it before another came towards his unprotected left arm, slicing through flesh and muscle and lodging in bone. Gritting his teeth, he jumped back. The wound was already closing, leaving nothing but a bloodstained tear in his shirt, but the fight had been infinitely harder at the appearance of the double blades. The impossibly sharp edges were threat enough, but with reality and memories switching in his mind, Ed couldn't focus on what was fake and what he should have been dodging.

Maybe it was too soon for him to pick a fight with Envy. He should have given himself more time to rest, more time to cope with the images flashing before him. The dim room on 32 Seaview Road overlaid the cavern beneath Lab 5, flickering between the two like a poor radio signal, caused a disorientation similar to blood loss, or severe exhaustion. He should have waited—

No.

His vision suddenly solidified, just as Envy's elbow hit his temple with a loud crack! Ed stumbled to the ground, springing away not a moment too soon. The tiles where he had stood shattered in all directions, shards spraying upwards in a large circle. The battle started to develop a pattern—jump back, lunge forward, punch, cut, heal. Their movements were a blur of gold, silver, and red, dancing around each other on a floor that was gradually being covered in a vibrant crimson.

Jump back.

Envy leapt away as Edward finally transformed his automail into a simple blade that ended not far beyond his knuckles. It reflected the sparse sunlight in an eerie manner, casting more light onto its owner's bloody face and deepening the shadows. Silent now, he

lunged forward,

pleased to hear Envy's low hiss and quiet mutter of 'I hate pain'. Warmth caressed Ed's side, flowing down his automail from its lodging in Envy's abdomen. Envy

punched

Edward's jaw with enough strength to take down a chimera, and Ed stumbled a couple of metres. A jagged block of stone snagged his ankles, grazing most of the skin and tearing his socks until they were even further beyond recognition. The

cut

in Envy's stomach

healed

immediately, and then the pattern began anew. Except it was Ed dodging Envy's blows, and not the other way around.

It was conducted in an eerie silence, rather different from the beginning of the fight. Precision demanded concentration, the same concentration fixed in both of their expressions. They were on even grounds in terms of strength, but not experience. That was the vital difference between them, and also why so much of the blood was Ed's.

But then the attacks suddenly… stopped.

Ed's breaths came loud and ragged, and his mouth tasted metallic. His clothes clung to his body as if he had gone outside in a heavy, red rain—he dared not look at them. The material was barely maintaining its shape; it hung from his frame in long, wet strips, and only here and there lay the hint of definition: the stiff edge of a collar, the remains of a sleeve caught around his wrist.

Envy laid a hand upon his waist, annoying clean and composed. Just the twisting of his lips betrayed the wrath he felt at the interruption, a respite that Ed still didn't understand.

Yet he wasn't about to complain.

Envy's expression was surprisingly sober, though his narrowed eyes clearly displayed a message reading 'Annoyed', or 'Pissed off'. There was a dangerous glint in them that riled Ed up. If those violet irises ever settled on Ed's own, he didn't know how he might react.

"I see."

As if those two simple words had been a trigger of sorts, the alchemist flew forward. His metal fist cut through the air perilously close to Envy's pale complexion, leaving an incision no wider than a strand of a spider's web. It had been destined for the homunculus' glittering eye, and only a quick manoeuvre on Envy's behalf allowed it to be spared.

As Edward's attacks grew in numbers, an uneasy sensation settled in his bones like lead. Envy's fighting style had altered. His shots were less accurate, and they lacked their usual power whenever they managed to connect. Frustration had carved an intricate design into his face; his teeth were slightly bared, brow furrowed, and his gaze darted around the cavern as if he were distracted.

It was with a loud, annoyed growl that Envy finally sprung away, taking shelter—though not hiding—beside a chunk of debris that towered over them both. His eyes were still flickering in all directions, barely settling before starting their new search—and for what, Ed couldn't tell. The prodigious qualities that many marvelled at often fled his mind in the midst of battle, and he had been fighting ever since Envy caught him at that phone box. It had left his ability to reason even more tattered than his clothing.

Ed took a shallow breath in preparation to run forward again, but an unexpected action took his off guard. Envy's hand was raised, the palm flat in the universal 'stop' gesture. He didn't seem tired in the slightest, unless the constant movement was a strange sign of fatigue.

"Hold up, Pipsqueak," he commanded in a lazy drawl.

Ed felt certain his fingers would drop off if he exerted any more pressure into his closed fists. "I'm not a pipsqueak, bastard!"

"You know how much I hate getting hurt," Envy continued as if Ed hadn't interrupted. His hand waved around in an appeal to look casual, or perhaps to wipe away the memories conducted in that room less than a year ago. "I'm sure I mentioned it last time."

"Then…" Ed paused to calm his thoughts—what would Al have thought if he heard them? "What? Why're you bringing that up now?"

"I was thinking about your precious equivalent exchange." His purple eyes were closed, his shoulders leaning against the rock. "And I've come up with a deal… Of sorts."

Oh, how Ed wanted to force his automail down Envy's crafty throat. Maybe that would prevent the lies from pouring out. "Yeah," he growled, "right. If you don't wanna fight, then why not let me kill you?"

"Because, Shorty. I've been alive a long time, and I'm not gonna let some newly-born homunculus kill me." Envy let out a condescending laugh. "Now, d'you wanna hear my deal or not?"

Ed frowned, caught off guard. "I… I don't…"

Envy waited no more than five seconds before he pushed away from his prop and stood up straight. "Fine," he said in a mockery of wounded pride. "I guess it wasn't important, anyway."

In the silence that followed, every sound seemed magnified, and yet Ed heard nothing at all. A buzzing had filled his ears; the audible embodiment of the pins-and-needles skittering across his skin, drowning out everything with its white noise. Could it have been anger? Rage? Could it have been his own desire to snap Envy's neck that actually froze him in place?

No.

It was curiosity.

The desire for knowledge, the need to know everything, was a trait that had brought the Fullmetal alchemist more troubles than answers. And yet he couldn't kill that want. It would stay with him no matter how many times his body fell to pieces and knit itself back together.

Envy was practically strutting. He paced the unstable floor as if waiting for the response he knew Ed would provide. It was inevitable that Edward Elric would ask such questions, but he had decided that that human died almost two weeks before. He was Fullmetal—the homunculus.

And yet the urge never so much as faded. He wanted to know what was so important to make the mighty Envy pause in a fight; he wanted to know what crucial information was burning away at Ed's weakening self-restraint. He was Fullmetal, but before that he had been a boy. Some things never change.

So, before the silence could stretch further into embarrassing territory, Ed blurted out: "Tell me!"

Envy smirked and kicked one lean leg up until it kissed his nose, holding the position for a few moments like he was waiting for Ed to crack again.

Ed merely repeated his plea, though it lacked the sheer volume and desperation of his previous one. "Tell me. Tell me what… what this deal is."

"I really think you'll like this one," Envy said calmly. He didn't say anything more.

Ed growled despite himself, his pretty face contorting into one of nightmares. "Cut the crap! I already said I wanted to hear it, so talk."

"So here's what I was thinking." Envy rolled his shoulders until his neck audibly cracked. "You're kinda smart right? How about I make you smarter?"

Ed glared at him dubiously, but the homunculus never looked over.

"Peace for information, Pipsqueak."

"… Peace?" Ed's frown deepened and he shifted into a better fighting stance.

Envy nodded and leant back against a crumbling pillar. Ed strongly willed it to fall on his despised companion. It would take at least one of the sin's lives during its journey to the ground.

"I propose that you—" Envy raked a hand tipped with animalistic claws down the rough surface, "—stand right there and listen to what I say. No questions, no fighting. I'll tell you what I think happened, and you'll sit quiet and shut up."

Edward grit his teeth so hard he swore one of them cracked. "And what's your price?"

Envy sighed dramatically, instantly switching to the form of a teenage girl clad in white. She sunk down the pillar, her delicate dress catching and tearing on the numerous imperfections. "I hate fighting. Killing—yes, that's wonderful—but not fighting. I don't think you've ever experienced it, have you, Shorty? It's marvellous, killing is. Sometimes, you can get right up close, until you can actually see yourself in their eyes." The gossamer fabric was suddenly clinging to the girl's form, darkening to a crimson. Envy raised her bloodstained hands up for Ed to appraise, delightedly showing them to the entire world. "Death is an amazing thing, Shorty. But it's not so much fun to die yourself."

"That doesn't mean anything." Ed started walking over to the laughing girl, his mismatched feet producing different sounds on the tile. "Tell me what the fuck that has to do with equivalency!"

Envy held up a finger, shedding his disguise and going silent all at once. He waited close to ten seconds before speaking, "If I tell you what you want to know, you have to promise to let me leave. And you can't say a word to him."

"Who?" Ed asked, his mind immediately conjuring up images of Alphonse, the colonel, Major Armstrong, and every other male he could think of.

Envy planted a hand on his waist. "Father. Oh, don't be so shocked, you idiot. We had to come from somewhere, didn't we?"

Ed shook his head irritably. It was all taking so long! "Whatever. Just tell me everything."

There was a loud laugh, then a quiet, "Everything?"

"You know what the fuck I mean."

"Fine, fine." Envy rolled his eyes, wearing a grin that seemed to stretch over his face. "I get it. Do you know how wine is made, Pipsqueak?"

Taking a deep breath in an effort to somewhat slow the pounding in his centre, Ed said, "Yeah. Of course I do."

"Hmm. Then think of yourself as a tiny—"

"I'm not short!"

"—bottle of red wine," Envy continued without missing a beat. "Your mummy and daddy made you… sixteen years ago? And for sixteen years, their blood has been flowing through your veins."

"So?"

"So!" The homunculus was obviously enjoying himself way too much. "Your father—the famous Hohenheim of Light—is a Philosopher's Stone."

Ed's eyes widened. "He was a homunculus?"

A short quiet followed the question, but it was soon replaced with obnoxious laughter. "Not even close, Shorty! The point is—like a repugnant bottle of wine—his blood, and the blood of the Philosopher's Stone, has been fermenting in you. D'you think you can do the rest, Runt?"

His lips felt numb. His tongue was a dead weight lying inside his mouth. But still, he couldn't ignore Envy's baited taunts. "When I died… it formed a Stone. A Philosopher's Stone."

"Maybe." Envy hummed. "You don't sound so sure. I always thought it had something to do with the way you died, else he would have warned you and your precious brother."

"But I'm right, aren't I?" It was too much information. Ed quickly grabbed at the loose layers of his bangs, pulling them as strongly as he dared. The slight pain did nothing to sort out his problems.

Instead of answering, Envy went down a different—yet related—pathway. The roads were narrow, dark, and damp in there.

"I realised what you were as soon as that numbskull Jeremy Colt saw you out the window." Envy talked as if recounting some long forgotten piece of history, not a memory only just recently burned into Ed's mind. "That fucking idiot thought you'd sold your soul to the devil! I didn't bother correcting him. He was practically right." Envy laughed at his own joke, ignoring Ed's rage. "Besides, it was fun to let him think that shit! He thought he was some righteous angel sent down to punish you! As if!"

"Did you kill him?" Ed asked in a voice like stone. It wasn't that he particularly disapproved of Colt's murder, but he was somewhat put out that he couldn't do it himself. After Envy revealed himself back at 32 Seaview Road, the man from the bar faded out of importance.

Envy nodded, seemingly pleased with himself. "Of course I did. The bastard didn't know his place."

"He belongs in a hole."

"And that's exactly where I dumped him! But I didn't really dig a hole—I fed him to Gluttony. Now—" Envy switched from giddiness to business so fast it might have sent any lesser man's head reeling, "—are we done?"

There was something odd about the whole conversation—and it wasn't just that Envy was holding a conversation, though that played a part in Ed's suspicion. More alarms were set off by the way the other homunculus was acting. He was jumpy. Alert. And he was trying much too hard to get away.

Ed felt a smirk grow. "I don't think so. Why don't you tell me why you're so eager to run off?"

"I think you need to clean your ears, Pipsqueak. I ha—"

"You hate pain," Ed interrupted. "I know. I'm not talking about that."

A low rumble—an animalistic snarl—bounced around the cavern, but it stopped as soon as it started. "Then what?"

That had Ed stumped. The strange behaviour had been so obvious to him, and yet he couldn't even begin to define what was wrong. Silence stretched on and on and on, like those large rubber bands he and Al had once played with. Trust exercises never worked well with Edward Elric in their midst, so Al wound up with more than one sore eye. That game had been banned after a particularly nasty welt rose on Al's cheek.

He was broken out of thoughts of snapping bands by a soft sigh. It almost sounded weary. Envy's expression had settled in a grimace.

"Well, Shrimp," he said, sounding quite annoyed. "You've got an ability after all."

"An… ability?" Ed repeated disinterestedly. "So what? I've known alchemy for years."

Envy's gaze ghosted over where Ed stood, right in the middle of their battlefield.

"All homunculi have an ability. 'Power' just sounds so pretentious." Envy wrinkled his nose in distaste. "I can change shape. Lust has those freaky nail things. Gluttony's a fucked-up Gate. Get the idea?" A smile stole its way back to his face, though he still looked disgruntled. "You, dear Shorty, are invisible."

Ed considered laughing. Surely that would stop whatever shit Envy had left to say. There was no way he could be invisible. Envy was a brilliant actor—Ed wasn't so caught up in his hatred to admit that—there was no proof that what he said wasn't a lie. It was… an act. It had to be. There was no possible way it could be true. To do that… he'd have to somehow halt the light particles, or… or he didn't know!

His breath was coming faster as panic set in. Panic caused by the sudden certainty that Envy wasn't lying.

But if he was telling the truth, that wouldn't be too bad. The lump of panic that had settled in Ed's stomach eased, disappeared, as his mind wrapped around the possibilities. Envy couldn't see him. He was fighting against an unseen opponent.

Ed had an advantage.

There were so many opportunities opening before him! He could get in close; steal a life or two off the wary homunculus without Envy even having the time to brace himself! One life, two, three, all of them! The pulsing in Ed's chest quickened in excitement, and his cheeks hurt from the malicious smile tearing them in half.

But a dampener soon appeared to pause his plans. It came in the form of a loud clank! when Edward set his automail foot down. Envy's wandering gaze wasted no time in finding him, staring someplace near his feet.

"You're gonna have to be quieter than that, Shorty," he drawled in cautious boredom. "Or this'll be another easy win."

Ed grit his teeth. His mind was flying ahead at a remarkable speed, tossing out theories and strategies in a loud, colourful blur. He couldn't focus on any of them; the input was making him dizzy, distracted. Random words were regurgitated from the chaotic cloud, but without their companions, they didn't make sense.

—Melt—

—Sand—

—Burn—

—Hide—

—Footprints—

—Go—

Nothing.

For a moment, the images stilled, displaying a darkened room with a floor made of sand. A man and a woman watched from a higher vantage point as Ed and a suit of armour—Al, his brother—fought to stay balanced on the roiling ground.

Sand!

It was a temporary solution at best, but hopefully one that had escaped Envy's predictions. Judging by Father Cornello's attempt, Ed decided that he would have no more than five seconds before the sand stilled and his footprints became visible. And that was being generous.

Before the idea could be lost, Ed joined his hands together—briefly wondering if the blue reaction could be seen—and slammed them into the floor.

Chemical bonds unravelled, separated, reformed. The change caused a phenomenon similar to wind to roar around the cavern, whipping tiny stones against bare skin with the force of a dust storm. But it was nothing more than a nuisance, and Ed ran forward regardless. Envy was glaring at his turbulent surroundings; he didn't seem to notice the second alchemic flash.

Large hands erupted from the settling sand, trapping Envy's arms and slamming him against a reinforced pillar. Ed smiled grimly at the wet cough that followed, as well as the trickle of blood running down the homunculus' chin. Even though he stood below him, Ed had never felt so superior.

The quiet was broken by a laugh.

Envy threw his head back so hard it cracked the stone behind it. His back arched, pulling painfully on his straining shoulders and shaking with false glee.

"Do you think you have me caught, Shorty?" he asked amid dying snickers. Red light engulfed his foot, shrinking it instantly.

The sound of flesh meeting metal heralded the arrival of two more hands. The new pair slammed directly into the middle of Envy's chest and pried it open in a short burst of fake blood and the harsh cracks of breaking ribs. In the centre of the gaping hole lay a Philosopher's Stone. Yet another fist wrapped itself around the glowing gem, eliciting a grunt from the trapped homunculus.

"Tell me," Ed demanded of him. He felt giddy from at the sight of his previous captor being under his control. His eyes were wide and he couldn't close them even a millimetre—he had to see it all! Every time his Stone was jolted, Envy would let out a small gasp of agony.

It was wonderful.

"Tell you…" Envy ground out, "what?"

"Tell me why you did it." Ed's grin had disappeared and his breathing was almost as ragged as his prey's. "Why'd you—you team up with a human? And wasn't I a human sacrifice? What'd you do in that bathroom? Wh-what do I do now?"

Envy stayed silent until the fingers around his life tightened threateningly. Ed fancied that he saw a tiny fissure appear in the smooth, crimson surface.

"Argh!" Envy's body contorted once again in pain. "Okay, okay! I'll tell you! Just sto-stop pulling!"

Ed relaxed slightly and watched as Envy slumped forward in relief.

"Alright." Envy panted. His body was surrounded in constant red light, unable to heal the wounds. "To answer you first question, it was fun, okay? I followed that idiot around for almost two months because it was fun. But he got cocky, and I had to kill him." Envy's lips quirked upward. "That was also fun. The second question… what was it again?"

"I thought you weren't allowed to kill me."

"Ah, that! Killing you was a mistake—and not entirely my fault." Envy was starting to regain some of his earlier confidence, despite the contradictory position. "If you hadn't disguised yourself, I might have recognised you before then. Lucky for me, you came back to life."

"Yeah," Ed grunted. "Lucky."

Envy studied the silence before saying, "Don't worry, Pipsqueak. You're not a sacrifice anymore. You're not even human. As for your third question, I think you know where I got that needle."

Ed hummed in agreement. "The doctor, right? Mike Fellows."

"Were there anymore questions?"

"Just one." Ed folded his arms tightly, the right one letting out a loud clank. "What do I do now?"

Envy gave another laugh. "How the hell should I know? You decide. Knowing you, you'd go back and pretend to be human. Say, Pipsqueak, how long d'you think that'll last?"

Ed answered with a hateful, and unseen, glare.

"Or…" the homunculus continued. "You could just come with me. Forget being a human—that's over now. Do you really think your dearest brother would like finding out that you're a monster?"

"Shut up."

"Would you tell him, Shorty? Or would—"

"Shut up."

"—you just lie to him, over and over for the rest of his life. 'Cause you're—"

"Shut up!"

"—gonna live much longer than him. Unless, of course, he decides to kill you."

"I said," Ed roared, "shut up!"

The hand holding Envy's Stone jerked back, bringing its precious cargo along with it. It pulsed weakly in the loosening grip, before plummeting to the ground and skidding away. Above Edward's head, the homunculus' shell froze, wearing a mask of shock. Then slowly, gradually, he decomposed to ash.

The ground met his behind before Ed realised that his legs had given out. He sat there dumbly—not thinking, not seeing—just revelling in the marvellous fact that he had killed Envy. He could get on with his life—or whatever lay before him. He could play the role of protective older brother, and keep Al safe from situations like his own. And then, if he found no way to return to normal, Ed could disappear.

No one had to know what happened.

No one…

No. He couldn't do any of that.

He had to leave.

"Woah…"

The voice snapped him out of his thoughts, focusing him on the present once more. He instantly wished it hadn't.

Envy—impossibly—staggered to his feet. Sand crusted one side of his face, but other than that he looked just the same as before.

"Sorry, Pipsqueak," Envy addressed the entire room; Ed was still invisible. "You'll find it's not that easy to kill a homunculus."

So—because I understand that this... proposition? isn't really in keeping with the manga (Hohenheim says that there's no way for his sons to become like him), I've decided to explain a little. Just a little, 'cause I'm fucking exhausted.

I thought that maybe if Ed died in a certain way—violence is what I was thinking—maybe it would be enough to... bring out the Stone in his blood or whatever. I dunno. It sounds cheesy put like that.

But I've gotta go so I can wake up early and study for mid-year exams! Thank you all who have read this far :) three chapters to go!