Chapter Three:
"So why are we here again?" Deidara mumbled, glancing at the redhead beside him who was busy stuffing red bean buns in her mouth.
"Chikaru is the best fucking midwife there is." Hidan chuckled awkwardly, then added in a more serious tone. "And I only want the best for my little bastards."
"Only you would say it that way, hm." The blond sighed, peeking at the odd couple the next table over.
Kasime was chatting to a tiny girl with hair the color of spilt wine and big, brown doe eyes. Next to the blue man the girl seemed like a breakable doll. According to Itachi, who excused himself from this personal mission, Chiharu was a childhood friend of Kasime's and love interest. Though whether the love was reciprocated was still up for debate.
The reason they had travelled all the way out to this obscure village was for the birth of Hidan's twins. Anika had demanded that her husband be there for the birth, whether he liked it or not. Willing to be in his terrifying wife's favor again, Hidan decided to ask Kasime for a small favor that he would pay back when the time came. And this small favor was in the form of the best midwife any village had to offer.
"What I don't get, is why we have to come play house with you two, hm." Deidara grumbled, dodging the bun tossed him way by the older male.
Moriko caught it in her mouth. "Anika onee-chan likes me. I'm telling ya, she said I could be godmother."
Deidara sighed again. It was going to be a long few day with this circus of characters.
Xxx
"And where the fuck have you been, you lazy good for nothing!" Anika didn't use a pan for greeting this time, instead ripping the door off its hinges and breaking it over her husbands head.
Her mood changed when Moriko happily called out her name and threw her arms around the older female. Chiharu tried to calm the very pregnant ex-kunoichi, but had quickly realized that she had bitten off more than she could chew by accepting Kasime's offer.
During labor Anika managed to snap Hidan's arm in half and put a hole in wall with her fist when the first head crowned. To say that Deidara was in hell or a form of it was an understatement. He was in the seventh level of it.
Moriko sat on the veranda, whining about her stomach after eating three dozen red bean buns in one sitting and washing it down with eight different types of tea. He wasn't sure what had gotten into her but she had been eating nonstop for the past month. It didn't matter to her if the food was edible or not, she would eat it in the odd way of hers. Hell, on her last mission she'd devoured a good portion of the tailed beasts chakra because she said it tasted like sugared plums.
"I'm happy for them, y'know." Moriko smiled, swinging her legs back and forth off the edge of the veranda. "It must be nice to have a family."
Deidara grunted in response.
"Hidan says tomorrow they're gonna throw a big celebration." She kicked up her legs and laid on her back. "I'm telling ya, a big deal with food and everything. Apparently Zenki and Ken are the first babies born into the Jashin cult."
"They're probably going to sacrifice a few people, hm." Deidara glanced down at her. Had she gained some weight recently?
"So what, it'll be fun! I'm telling ya!"
He narrowed his eyes at her. "What's the real reason you dragged us along? And don't tell me its because you're going to be the godmother or whatever, yeah."
Moriko pouted and raised her hands towards the sky like she was waiting to catch the stars. "To be honest I'm hoping Chiharu will examine me. Y'know, I think I might be pregnant."
Deidara felt his heart sink into his lap. "You're wh-"
"Look you little rat bastards, I'm a daddy!" Hidan chose that exact moment to burst onto the veranda, holding two bundles.
Only to find Deidara passed out against the pillar, his eyes vacant and if you looked closely you could see his soul leave his body in a pathetic little cloud.