Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Dick Wolf, except the plot and Cassie.
Chapter One: Double Trouble
CPOV
Sighing I walked into the room where we could take a nap when we pulled an all nighter and slumped down on one of the bunk beds. I did pull an all nighter and I was tired, or that's what I kept telling myself, I always slept here. Well not always, three years ago I slept a couple of months here with one nightmare after another, and it took El a lot of convincing me from his part to go home and sleep there. Finally I had given in, and got home. Eventually I decided to sleep at the precinct once more, since I didn't feel safe at home. A couple of months later, El took me apart from everybody in captain Cragen's office, to talk. I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes, hoping for a dreamless sleep. Since last month I started sleeping here again. Ironically enough, I did dream that night about the first conversation I had with El in captain Cragen's office.
"You look like hell, Cassie!" Elliot said frowning. "Thanks for reminding me, El." I snapped, while I slumped down on my chair. "I know something's wrong, tell me." he demanded, while I shook my head. "It's nothing El. I just didn't sleep well." I replied, while he shook his head and sat down at his own desk. "Just so you know, I know your lying through your teeth, you look like this for days now. I'll be there for you, you know that right?" he said with a raised eyebrow. I sighed as a sign I gave up. "I know, El. But I just don't want to talk about. Not here that is." I said softly without looking at him. Suddenly Elliot got up and walked to captain Cragen's office and knocked. He got in and out in what was like a second, before he walked toward me and dragged me into captain Cragen's office. The captain left us alone and I looked at Elliot quizzically. "Please tell me, what's bothering you so much. You look like you haven't slept for days!" he started, with a worried look on his face. "I'm having nightmares ever since, El. I haven't had a good night's sleep for ages." I explained, while looking at my hands in my lap. "It's just… I feel like it's my own fault. If I hadn't broke up with him, then I wasn't going through all of this." I rambled on, while Elliot came over to me and put his arm around me. "You know it wasn't your fault, Cassie. Don't blame this on yourself. At least, that's what you always tell the victims that we talk too." he told me quietly. "I know, all the waiting for the trials is taking it's toll on me I guess." I sighed, while I looked at him. "When the trials start, you and Kathy will be there right?" I asked softly, while looking at my hands in my lap. "Of course we are, we won't let you down." he told me, while I stood up and gave him a hug. "Thanks, El. Before we go, I need to tell you something. For the last couple of months, I only go home to take a shower and change clothes and then come back here to sleep. The only one who knew about it until now, was captain Cragen." I confessed quietly, before letting him go and walking out of the office and to my desk.
I woke abruptly when a door closed with a loud bang, and looked around. For the first time in years I had a pleasant dream, well it wasn't a nightmare for once. I closed my eyes once more, and tried to get some more sleep. I heard someone slump down in the other bunk bed, but decided to ignore it, since I needed my sleep. After a while of tossing and turning I opened my eyes once more and looked to the bunk bed next to mine to see to my surprise that Elliot was laying on it. I grabbed my phone to check the time, only to see it was just three in the morning. Slowly I got out of the bed and sat down next to him. I knew he was still awake, even though he had his eyes shut. "El? What's up?" I asked quietly, while I laid my hand on his arm. He slowly opened his eyes and he looked like he was trying to figure out who was with him. "Cassie? What are you doing here?" he asked when he finally figured out it was me, who sat beside him. I ignored his question and asked him once more what was wrong. "I just had another fight with Kathy." he replied sighing, and I looked at him with narrowed eyes. "I don't believe it was just a fight, El. Normally you don't come over here to sleep when you had just a fight. It's three in the morning, for god sakes! What the hell did you do all this time? And I know all about it, since I've sleeping here for over a month. Don't try to get me home, I want to stay, at least tonight." I said, while he nodded. "Alright, alright. Let me get up first." he gave in, while I stood up and sat down on my own bed that I've been claiming since three years ago.
He sat down and looked at me. I could see a hint of pain in his expression. "I caught Kathy with someone else, when I got home. It wasn't the first time, though. So instead of yelling I just slammed the door and drove around aimlessly before I got back here." he explained sighing, while I nodded. "I never thought she would do something like that to you again, even though I was there two times when you caught her. Any chance the two of you talk about this again?" I asked, while he shook his head. "You can stay at my apartment for the time being, until you figured out what you're going to do about it." I offered, which he obviously declined. "I won't sleep there anyway, so it's completely unused." I pleaded, while I threw him my keys which landed next to him on the bed. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm not going to use your apartment, and let you stay here on your own." he declined once more and I sighed. "Okay, then we'll have to make it nice over here." I said with a little smile. "How do you do it, Cassie. Sleeping on this horrible bunk beds for days at a time." he asked smirking.
EPOV
"Let's get some sleep, El." she replied, while she ignored my question. It was kind of ironic, that we both ended up sleeping at the precinct. Sure our situations were very different, and I knew what she was going through. In a couple of months, he would get out of jail and would be walking through the city again. Although, now I think about it she admitted to be sleeping here for over a month, I noticed something was wrong after the last night she had slept at home. When I asked her about it, she waved me off that it was nothing and told me she hadn't slept well. I looked over to her bed and saw she had turned her back to me, I knew she wasn't sleeping since I heard a couple of sniffles. Quietly I got up and sat down at the bedside where her face was. "W-w-what d-d-do y-you w-want, El?" she asked crying. "Why are you crying, Cassie." I asked her, while I helped her to get up in a sitting position. She pulled herself together and pulled her knees up to her chest. "He's going to be out of jail again, El." she whispered, while rocking back and forth. "Last time I slept home, the nightmares became worse. I'm scared as hell, El." she told me, and I nodded. I had known for weeks something was wrong, but I didn't ask any questions when she waved me off, now I felt guilty for not asking her more often about what was going on. I stood up and walked around the bed and sat down next to her, and put my arm around her to comfort her.
"As long as you're here, he can't get you. Hell he won't even get near you if you're with me. I promise you, Cassie." I said softly to her, while she laid her head on my shoulder and nodded, slowly falling asleep. I sat with her like that for a while and fell asleep for a while until someone closed the door with a loud bang. I jumped by the noise, mentally kicking myself for being startled in the first place. I looked over and saw that Cassie was still asleep and looked over to find the person who came in that loud, only to find the captain in front of the bed. I carefully laid her down on the bed and got up. "Morning captain Cragen." I said, while he only nodded. He beckoned me to follow him, to get to his office. "You're early Elliot. Have you slept here?" he asked and I nodded. I explained what happened last night, and told him why I was in the same bed as Cassidy was. "I understand, Elliot. She's going through a rough time. But she has to go home eventually, she can't stay here forever. You can't stay here forever either." he said, and I nodded. "Actually captain, I'm already looking for another place to live with plenty of room to have the kids staying over for one or two nights." I replied, while I looked at him. "The two of you are going to take a couple of days off you both need it. It's not a question, but an order. Get back to the room and wait for Cassidy to wake up." the captain said, while I nodded and left his office and walked to the room where we could sleep. Once I got in I saw Cassie waking up. "Good morning sleepy head." I said smiling, while she very maturely stuck out her tongue at me. "Did you even sleep, El?" she asked with a smirk on her face. "For a little while, after you fell asleep. Captain Cragen woke me up when he came bursting in. I jumped, I was surprised you slept through the whole ordeal, though." I told her. "What did the captain want from you?" she asked, and I told her why he came in. Reluctantly she got up and sighed. When we got out of the room she got called into the captain's office, before she got in she gave me a puzzled gaze. I shrugged, and walked over to my own desk. "You too, Elliot." the captain called, and I got up.
When we both were in his office I wondered what he wanted now. "I take it you told Cassidy about our conversation earlier?" he started, while I gave him a quick nod. "I hope you don't take it as an offence that I give you some time to yourself Cassidy, but I thought you needed it. I know you don't want to go home, and I can understand completely after what happened but you can't do this much longer. Maybe you should join Elliot in his search for a new place to live. Start something new in a new place." he told her, while she only nodded. "Maybe, but I don't know if I can, captain." she replied quietly. "Just think about it. That's all I ask." he said, while she nodded once more. "Why did I need to come in, captain?" I asked him, while he looked at me. "I asked him to call you in, El." Cassie said, and I looked at her quizzically. "She will explain later. I'll see the both of you in a couple of days." captain Cragen said, and we both left his office figuring out what to do with our free time. "So, what are you up to today?" I asked her, while we were walking to the car. "I don't know. Maybe I just go home and think about what Cragen said. I mean, I could move to another apartment you know. Just to start something new in a new place." she replied, with a little smile on her face. The ride was quiet for a while. "Please don't drop me off at home. I think I'll go crazy if I'm in there for the whole couple of days off." she told me and I raised an eyebrow wondering why she said that. "If you don't want to be home alone, I could join you. Maybe you could help me finding a place of my own?" I offered, and she nodded in reply.
CPOV
"I think I could help you. Maybe we have some fun looking for apartments and houses." I answered smiling. "But I first need a little bit of time to take a shower. But of course you can just wait in the living room." I added quietly. "Okay, I will. Take as long as you need." he replied and I nodded. "Why did you ask Cragen to call me into his office, when he wanted to talk to you?" he asked me, while I turned my head to the window. "I don't know, but somehow I had the awkward feeling I needed my friend to be me with me in there. But it turned out it wasn't necessary in the end. Even though it wasn't necessary I was glad you were in there with me." I replied while I looked out the window, feeling some stray tears rolling down my cheeks. "I understand, we've been friends for a while before you started here and became my partner. I'll be there for you, whenever you need me to be." he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice, while more tears rolled down my face. The car stopped, and I got out and walked to the building, with Elliot on my tail. As he walked up beside me I did my best to hide my tears, but of course he had to notice it. "What's wrong, Cassie?" he asked, and I started to walk faster, and before I knew it I was running, but before I could reach my door Elliot caught up with me and caught my arm. "Let go of me!" I hissed and jerked my arm out of his hands. "Please tell me why you're crying, I rather see you laughing sweetie." he said defeated, while I shrugged and unlocked my door, before letting him in and locking my door. "I'm exhausted, this whole thing that happened three years ago is taking it's toll on me. And then the knowledge he's getting out in a couple of months, it's just too much to handle on my own." I said, while he put his arms around me and comforted me until I stopped crying.
"Thanks, El. I think I'll go and take a quick shower so we can go on the hunt for a new place for you and a new one for me." I said and walked into my bedroom, took some clothes out of my closet and got into the bathroom. I showered quickly and took a towel to dry myself off and got into sweatpants and a tank top. I brushed my hair and it put in a ponytail and got out. "I don't know if you brought clothes with you, but you can use the shower if you want to." I said, while I sat down next to him on the couch. "I didn't take the time to take some clothes, I was planning on going to the house to pick some up later. But I will take on your offer to use the shower." he said, while he got up and walked into the bathroom. "I'll get you some towels." I said, while I got up to get some towels. When I had the towels I walked into the bathroom, to put them down only to bump into Elliot who just got out of his shirt and pants. "I'm sorry!" I exclaimed and almost ran out of the bathroom in embarrassment. I slumped down on my couch and sighed, while I laid down to rest a little. I must have dozed off, since I didn't notice that Elliot came back in until he plopped down on the couch. I jumped up and looked up. "Oh, you're done already!" I said startled, while I took in his appearance and noticed he didn't had his shirt on. "What happened to your shirt?" I asked, while I realized I was still staring at his bare chest, I shook my head to snap out of it and focused on my hands. "I put it to close to the shower, I think. When I came out it was all wet." he replied sheepishly, while I started to feel a little uncomfortable. "I'll throw it in the dryer. It will be dry soon." I said, while I got up and walked into the bathroom and took his shirt. I walked to the laundry room and threw his shirt in the dryer and turned it on, while I walked back into the living room. "I wished I could offer you something to eat. But unfortunately I can only offer you coffee. I really need to go to the grocery store." I said, while I felt my cheeks turn red once more since Elliot was still shirtless. "We can pick up groceries after I picked up my clothes, and after that we're going on the hunt for my new place and yours, okay?" he asked me, while I smiled and got myself a cup of coffee. "That sounds good to me. Want some?" I asked, while pointing to the cup of coffee in my hand, while he nodded in reply. "It's on the kitchen bar, El." I said, while turning around and made another cup of coffee.
The dryer took too long for my liking, but I had to deal with it for now. "I know it sounds stupid, right now. But I kind of feel a little uncomfortable at the moment." I admitted blushing. "Why? It's not like you never saw me like this before." he asked with a smirk. "I know, but it's kind of different now and you know it, El. I mean, it feels a little awkward. It's not meant to offend you, you know that right?" I explained, while he smiled and nodded. "I know, and I didn't take it offensive." he said smiling, while I nodded. "It's especially awkward since I literally bumped into you when you were only in boxers, just twenty minutes ago." I said, while I was still blushing. Elliot started laughing, and gave me a wink. "Just admit it, you liked seeing me that way." he said playfully while he was still laughing, which made me laugh too. "Maybe, maybe not." I retorted, while the dryer started beeping. I got up from my stool and ran into the laundry room, took his shirt out and walked back into the kitchen area. "Here you go, El." I said while I threw his shirt at him, which he caught easily. "Thanks, Cassie. I owe you." he said with a smile on his face and put on his shirt.
"Let's go and get my clothes." he said, and I nodded. It seemed he had forgotten I locked the door, since he was trying to open it. "Um, El? It's locked, bad habit of mine." I said apologetic, while he smiled at me. "I knew that." he replied sheepishly, and unlocked the door, while I picked up my keys and a hooded sweatshirt and closed the door behind me, locking it. "So… Why are you picking up your clothes now, when Kathy isn't home?" I asked, mentally slapping myself on my forehead for being that stupid. "I thought it was for the best if I didn't saw her after last night. I'm still angry about it and I don't want to do anything stupid." he explained and I nodded. "Are you taking me with you only because I don't like to be home alone, or would you decide to take me with you even if I did like being home alone?" I asked, just to be sure I wasn't a burden. "Of course I would have taken you with me if you did like to be alone. Even if Kathy was at home I would take you, you know how to keep me calm when needed." he said, and I let out a sigh of relieve. "I just don't want to be a burden on you, you know. You're going through a tough time and I just want to make sure I'm not bothering you." I explained, when he started laughing again. "You're not bothering me. We both are going through a rough time right now. But we have each others back at any time. And how tough this is going to be, I'll be there for you and I know you're trying to be there for me and that's all I need to know." he said while giving me a quick gaze. "I know, I'll do my best to be there for you. And I'm glad I can help you. You could crash on my couch if you want for as long as you need to." I offered, while he nodded.
EPOV
"Thanks, I wasn't planning on sleeping at a crappy motel anyway." I said chuckling, while the rest of the drive was made in silence. While we pulled up at the driveway of the now empty house, I took a glance at her, she seemed off. "We're here, are you coming? I could need a hand with packing my clothes." I said, and she jumped out of her thoughts. "Of course, let's go." she replied, and got out of the car. Together we walked into the house, and started packing my clothes in a large suitcase. "To refer back to what you admitted earlier. You just have to get used to it, if I'm crashing on your couch." I said playfully, while smiling at her. Of course our relationship was purely platonic, but I liked Cassie as a friend and maybe a little more. "Very funny, Stabler. You're required to wear a shirt at all times from now on." she replied laughing, while throwing a couple of socks at me. "You're packing your underwear yourself, captain underpants. I'm not going in that drawer." she shot at me, while I chuckled. "That's fine by me, care bear." I replied, and before we knew it we were done packing. When we came down the stairs I heard the door open and close, I sighed and walked down with my suitcase, only to be greeted by Kathy. "Elliot, you came home." she said, and I didn't look at her. "Only to pack my clothes. I'm moving out, so you can enjoy your time with the new man in your life." I replied, feeling the anger bubbling in my stomach. Cassie must have heard the venom in my voice, since she carefully put her hand on my shoulder and stepped down from the last stair. I looked at her with a small smile, when Kathy noticed her. "Cassie, how nice to see you again. How are you doing?" she asked her, while she went up to Cassie and hugged her. "To circumstances I'm fine." she replied with a smile.
"We should go. Work and all." I said somewhat awkward, and started walking to the door. "Yeah, we should. Bye Kathy, have a nice day." Cassie bid her goodbye politely and followed me, while I let her out. I just wanted to step outside, when Kathy grabbed my arm. "Why are you leaving? Can't we just try, for the kids." she pleaded, while I shook my head. "No, I'm done trying. Last night, wasn't the first time you cheated on me and I caught you." I replied angry, pulled my arm out of her grip and walked outside. When I got to the car, I threw in my suitcase and got in while Cassie followed my lead. "Is this really what you want, El?" Cassie asked me, with an apologetic look on her face. "Let's get the groceries and we talk about it when we're back at your place okay?" I replied, and she nodded. "You sure, you're comfortable with me crashing at your place?" I asked, when we arrived at the grocery store. "Of course! You need a place to stay. Kathy's obviously acting like nothing happened or she just ignored the suitcase at first, until we headed out." she said, while she got out of the car. I followed her into the store and together we filled the shopping cart with food and drinks, for the rest of the week. "Those groceries are on me, since I'm crashing at your place." I said with a smile, in a tone that gave away that arguing about it wasn't going to happen. She gave in, with a sigh and I smiled in triumph. Happily chatting we walked out of the store and placed the groceries in the trunk and headed back to Cassie's place. After a silent drive we arrived at her place and got in. I noticed she locked the door immediately, while I looked at her it was obvious she was afraid he got inside. "You don't have to lock that door while I'm here, you know. He's not coming near you, and if he wants to, he has to get through me first." I said with a smile, while I knew that she already knew I would protect her in any way possible. "I know, routine habit. Ever since it happened I started doing that." she replied smiling, but didn't unlock the door. If she felt more safe that way, I just needed to get used to it.
After we had unpacked the groceries, we searched through the newspapers to find a place she or I could live in, but found nothing. Cassie pulled out her laptop and started searching online for some real estate agents, in the meantime I called a lawyer to get an appointment to start the divorce procedure. We made an appointment for tomorrow morning at eleven. I plopped down next to her at the couch and looked over her shoulder while she did the Google searches. "You promised me we would talk about what I asked you earlier on our drive to the grocery store." she started carefully and I sighed. "I did. I'm sure I want this. Over the last three years I caught her cheating on me several times, with the same guy. Last night, I decided it was over and done with. I'm meeting my lawyer tomorrow morning to get the procedure started." I told her, and I looked at her and caught her eye. She put her laptop on the coffee table and turned to me. "I never thought Kathy to be like that, those times I was there when you caught her I thought it was just a mistake she made and she wouldn't do it again. I know she's my friend, but over the years you and I are working together our friendship grew stronger, especially after what happened three years ago. And Kathy and I… I don't know… Our friendship wasn't that strong I guess. It's not that I hate her for what she did to you, I could never hate her. But that doesn't mean I approve of what she did. She hurt you, and I won't let that happen again." she said, and I nodded. We gave up on our search for real estate agents and just talked, until it was time for dinner.
CPOV
"I'll cook. How about Italian?" Elliot asked me smiling, while I was flipping through channels. "Sounds good, need help finding stuff?" I replied, and settled for some real life soap and stood up. I got into the kitchen and gave Elliot the supplies he needed, while I took one of the knives and started chopping up the mushrooms for the sauce. "Get out of my kitchen, shorty. I'm the chef tonight." he said playfully, while he took the knive out of my hands and took over the chopping. I sat down on one of the bar stools and just watched him work his way around the kitchen. "I didn't know you could cook." I stated smiling, enjoying watching him while he was cooking. "Of course I can. But it never came up during conversation, so I never mentioned it." he stated like it was obvious, while brushing my nose with his finger. I rolled my eyes at him and wiped off my nose. "Do you even know how to cook?" he asked eventually. "What do you think, egghead. Of course I can cook. You know that I was the one who needed to cook at home. And do all the other household chores. It wasn't like I had a better childhood than you did and we both know that. You're an ass for bringing that up!" I stated, irritated that I had to bring up my childhood once more with Elliot. He turned around at my tone and looked at me apologetically. I huffed at him and stood up, and walked to the living room to flip through some channels again, trying to find something good to watch. While Elliot was rummaging through my kitchen I got into my own thoughts, until he startled me when he plopped down next to me. I focused my gaze on the television screen. I was still annoyed at Elliot for bringing up my childhood, and I was about to let him have it.
We sat in silence and ate dinner in silence. After dinner I did the dishes and popped in a movie, still giving Elliot the silent treatment. Halfway through the movie I heard him sigh. "Cassie, please don't do this. I'm sorry for bringing that up. I shouldn't have, you told me a couple of years ago. And I promised you to never bring it up again, and I broke my promise. Please forgive me." he said and I could hear he was sincere about it. I gave him a small smile while I looked up at him. "Only if you admit you're an ass for bringing that up." I said, while I gave him a stern look and heard him sigh. "I admit I was an ass for bringing that up again." he gave in and I smiled in triumph. "I'm sorry for the silent treatment, you didn't deserve that. Not with what you're going through right now." I said smiling, while I scooted over and gave him a hug which he returned. "You in for another movie?" I asked with a smile. "Yeah, let me see what you have." he answered and got up to look in my movie rack to pick out a movie. He popped in the movie, and to my surprise he choose one of the animation movies I liked. "Seriously, El? Ice Age?" I asked chuckling, while looked at me quizzically. "I didn't thought you liked that movie." I said with a shrug. "I regularly watched it with the twins." he said smiling, while I laughed. "I never thought you would actually pay attention to the movie." I admitted laughing, while I watched the movie. "I take it you like the movie, since it was in your movie rack after all." he stated, and focused his gaze to the movie. "I love it. It's just hilarious and I have seen it multiple times. I gives me a good laugh on the really bad days, you know." I explained with a shrug, while he nodded. I looked at him for a while and found he was watching the movie intently, chuckling I returned my focus to the movie. After the movie was done, Elliot jumped up and picked another movie, this time it was an older movie, which I liked.
I had a blast with movie night, but when I woke up the next morning I couldn't remember how I ended up in my bedroom. I knew I didn't have any alcoholic drinks at all last night. I slowly got out of bed picked out some nice clothes out of my closet and took a quick shower. When I was ready, I silently walked into the kitchen and made two cups of coffee. "Good morning sunshine!" I heard from behind me and I jumped. "Morning El." I replied, while I turned around only to bump into him again. "Sorry. I didn't realize you were standing there. I took in his appearance, and pushed him out of my way. "Sorry, it wasn't my intention to scare you." he apologized, while he sat down next to me. "You really should start wearing any type of clothing when you're staying here. How much I appreciate your appearance, it's just weird having you walking around in only a boxer short or sweatpants in my house." I stated chuckling, and took a sip of my coffee. "I'll try to remember that request. How did you sleep anyway?" he asked with a smile, while I looked up at him. "Great actually, I was only wondering how I ended up in bed. I can't remember going to bed." I replied, while I shrugged. He looked at me and gave me a small smile. "Thirty minutes into the last movie I popped in you fell asleep, so I brought you to bed, and got back to the living room to sleep myself." he answered while I nodded.
EPOV
After I explained to her how she ended up in bed, I drained my cup of coffee and got up. I opened my suitcase and took out some clothes, and dressed. "You're coming with me right? To the appointment with my lawyer, I mean?" I asked her, while she walked into the living smiling at me. "If you want me to, I will." she replied, while she plopped down on the couch. "Yeah, I could use some company while driving. It's fun having you around to talk to." I admitted, while I closed my suitcase and sat down next to her. She handed me another cup of coffee. A little later it was time to go, we got in the car and drove in silence until we were nearly there. "I think it's for the best if I just stay in the waiting room." she said softly, while I drove up to the parking lot and parked the car. "You sure you want to do that? I don't know how long it will take, and I don't want you to get bored by sitting there doing nothing." I replied smiling, while we both got out of the car and walked to the office. "Yeah, I'm sure. I just don't want them to think you're divorcing Kathy because of me." she suddenly said before walking into the office. "I understand, but even if you were coming in with me, I would tell my lawyer I'm divorcing her because of adultery. And because of all the fighting, we did the last four years." I said, while I stopped walking. "But of course there are always people that make their own assumptions. But we both know why I'm doing this. Let's get in before I'm late for my appointment." I added, and started walking again. "I know, El. But it's not usual that a man takes a female friend with him, when he's filing for divorce. You know how it goes." she said, while she followed me in. I got to the reception desk and told the woman behind the desk I had an appointment with mister Matthews, and she nodded while calling him to tell him his appointment had arrived. I noticed her staring at me, before she gave Cassidy some death glares, which Cassidy obviously noticed.
I sat down next to Cassidy and waited for mister Matthews to pick me up while the receptionist was still staring us, mixed with death glares for Cassidy. "Someone has some trouble in her love life." Cassidy mumbled softly to me, while she shot the woman a death glare of her own. "You noticed, huh." I replied, while she nodded smiling. "It's pretty obvious what she thinks of me, El. And how she was ogling you it's totally obvious how she thinks about you too." she said with a grimace on her face. I wanted to reply when my lawyer came in. "Mister Stabler, you can come with me. Are you coming with him, miss?" mister Matthews asked, while Cassidy shook her head. "I'm just here for moral support." she said with a little smile, while I nodded in agreement. I got up and followed the man into his office and sat down. "So tell me, mister Stabler, how can I help you?" the man asked, while I looked at him. "Call me Elliot please. I want to divorce. Over the last three years I caught my wife multiple times with another man and two nights ago was the last straw. In the past four years we were fighting a lot and that just added to the fuel." I replied, while the man nodded. I had noticed at the waiting room how he was staring at Cassidy, and he had probably made his own assumptions. "I can do that. I'll start with the papers, when they're ready I'll send them to you so you can sign them, before you give them to your spouse. Just wondering, that girl in the waiting room who was with you, she doesn't have anything to do with your decision right?" he replied, while I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "No, she doesn't. She's my partner at work and a good friend of me and my soon to be ex-wife." I replied, with a little smile on my face. "Okay, the only thing I need are your contact details and where to send the papers, Elliot." he said, while he gave me apologetic look. I gave him my contact details and gave him Cassidy's address to send the papers to. He nodded at me and stood and I followed his lead. "Thank you, mister Matthews." I said, while shaking his hand and got out. I picked up Cassidy and we left the building and got into the car to drive back home. "I had lovely talk with the receptionist." Cassidy said with an evil smirk on her face, while I looked at her. "What did you do?" I asked her with a raised eyebrow. "Oh, I just made it clear enough for her that I didn't appreciate the death glares she was giving me for no reason, and I may have mentioned you were taken." she with an innocent smile on her face. "You may have mentioned what?" I asked her and she just smiled. "Well, you're basically still married to Kathy, so you're taken." she stated the obvious laughing. "How did she react to that?" I asked, and a wicked smile on her face appeared. "Oh god, I think I don't want to know, huh?" I added, while she nodded. "Oh, believe me you want to know. She started laughing like a maniac, it was pretty scary though. When she was done laughing, she simply stated she would get you anyway, and that she would make sure I wasn't a problem anymore. That was my cue to start laughing at her, and I made it clear that, that wasn't going to happen since you would never dump your best friend for some weird chick." she told me laughing, which made me laugh too. "She really thought you're my girlfriend, didn't she?" I asked, while she nodded. "Oh, she did. And my reactions didn't deny that actually. But hey, I just wanted to have some fun with that witch and it worked out perfectly." she said smiling, while I nodded and we walked out of the building.
"I guess you were right about people assuming you're my girlfriend and that's the reason for filing for divorce." I said sighing. She looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked, still looking quizzically at me. "My lawyer thought I'm divorcing Kathy because of you, but I explained we're just partners at work, and that you're my friend as well as Kathy's. That made him shut up about it." I explained her, while I gave her a quick glance. "I thought he was a creep, to be honest. The way he was staring at me, it was just creepy." she admitted after a little while and a shiver ran through her body. I gave her another quick glance and turned into the parking garage that was by her building and parked the car. "He was staring quite intently at you, I have to admit that. Actually, I didn't like the look on his face at all." I told her, while she nodded and I started wondering if she ever got into another relationship after what happened. She never mentioned it to me, nor to Kathy as far as I knew. Normally she told me or Kathy everything, and wouldn't keep any secrets about her love life or other things in life. We both got out of the car and walked into her building. Walking up the stairs I observed her movements, they were different since everything happened. She was careful, alert, always looking around, like someone was going to jump her at any moment even in her own home she was like that. "Stop staring at me like that, El. It's pretty annoying." she stated, while I shook my head and locked my eyes with hers. "I shouldn't have done that. But I couldn't help but observing your movements." I admitted, while she opened the door and walked in, while I followed her. "So tell me, what were you observing?" she snapped at me, while she immediately plopped down at the couch. I closed the door and walked into the living room, to sit down next to her. "Ever since that happened to you, your movements are different. You're more careful, more alert. It's like you're expecting someone to jump at you any moment, even if you're behind closed doors. Of course I understand where you're coming from and why you're doing this, but this isn't the Cassidy I'm used to." I admitted, while I watched her picking up her laptop. "I know I've changed. And I'm sorry for snapping at you like that. But I have to admit you're not the first one to observe this. Fin did too, when you left the precinct a couple of days ago he told me sort of the same thing you did, but in his own words. He promised me to have my back at any time, and that he was looking out for me." she told me with a little smile, while browsing the internet looking for real estate agencies.
"You want me out of here that soon?" I asked playfully, while I looked over her shoulder to her findings and poking her sides. She started laughing, and looked up at me. "Cut it out, El. I don't want my laptop to drop onto the floor. Was there anything in the papers?" she asked, while I shook my head. "Nothing, or too small to hold six people in separate bedrooms. Even nothing you would like." I said, while I was still looking at the screen over her shoulder. "So, I guess we're looking for something that holds at least five to six bedrooms, and is in your price range. I think you have to look at houses that are up for sale. Rentable houses don't have much space." she said and I nodded, suddenly my phone rang. "Kathy, what do you want?" I answered my phone, while she started explaining why she called. "Okay. Bye." I answered and hang up, while I plopped down next to Cassidy. "Stop the search, Kathy just called, to tell me she's moving out. She seemed to have found another place with enough space to hold her the kids and her boyfriend, so I can stay at the house. She would be out by the weekend, so after the weekend you've got your place back to your own." I told her with a little smile, while she nodded but didn't stop searching. "What's the plan with the divorce papers?" she asked, while she turned to me. "I gave your address so they would be arriving here for me to sign them, after that I'll go to Kathy's work and drop them off so she can sign them and send them back to mister Matthews." I told her, and she gave me a little smile. I was still wondering about her love life, but I didn't know if I could ask her about it, without giving her the wrong idea. Maybe I just should ask her about it, I know she would tell me the truth anyways. ran through my mind. "Cassie, can I ask you something private?" I started, while she looked at me. "You can, you know that." she replied, while I thought about how to ask her. "Maybe it's a stupid question, but I was wondering… If you had another boyfriend, after everything what happened three years ago? Since you never spoke about it after that to me or to Kathy." I asked and I observed her cheeks flushing bright red. "Ever since what happened, I haven't had another boyfriend. Hell, I even didn't go on a date that didn't end up horrible. I know not every guy is the same, but I'm scared to death he will ruin it. And maybe I have a little trust issue when it comes to men I don't know." she admitted, while she stood up and walked into her bedroom. I watched her go, and decided to watch some television but I knew she wasn't telling me everything.
CPOV
After I admitted to Elliot I didn't have any relationship after everything that happened I put away my laptop and fled into my bedroom, as soon as I hit my pillow I started crying, feeling guilty for not being completely honest with him. I knew it was nothing to be ashamed of, and I had a reason to distrust strange men but I just couldn't admit to my best friend I haven't had a date for over three years. I knew why I hadn't dated, but I couldn't tell him, that would make things difficult and awkward. I didn't know for how long I was laying there but I was still crying when I felt Elliot sit down next to me on the bed. He helped me up and took me in his arms. "Sshh, don't cry sweetie. It will be alright, you will be okay. I was wrong for asking that." he whispered, while I shook my head and he pulled me on his lap. He didn't have to feel this way, like it was his fault I was crying. When I calmed down, I looked up at him. "It wasn't your fault, El. We're best friends you shouldn't have to be careful with what you're asking me. I just felt embarrassed about it, it's kind of stupid anyway." I said to him, while he was still holding me. I put my arms around his neck and gave him a hug, and a little kiss on his cheek. "What did I do to earn that?" he asked smiling at me, while he kept me in his arms. "I just wanted to thank you, for being there for me and helping me dealing with all of this." I whispered, while I let him go and smiled at him. "I actually know, you're hiding something from me Cassie. You don't have to tell me about it, but I just want you to know that I'll figure it out anyway." he said with a small smile and I felt my cheeks turning red. "Let's fix some dinner." I said to change the subject, while I tried to stand up, but Elliot tightened his grip on me. "No changing subjects, missy. I noticed those red cheeks." he said, while he held me tighter. "I'm not going to walk away from my house." I joked, and his grip got stronger. "Or at least not until I found something else." I mumbled quietly. "I know you won't. But I'll be holding you hostage until you tell me just a little bit more about what you're hiding from me." he said, and I sighed. "El, I need to breathe, you know." I said, while I tried to wriggle out of his grip. "But I'll tell you if you let me go, or at least loosen that grip a little." I said with a sigh, but he didn't loosen up his grip. Hopefully he will loosen up a little when I tell him something I thought. "I haven't had a date for over three years, actually." I said, and all of a sudden I was free to go, or at least I thought so, because his arms were around me again quicker than I could move and pretty tight as well. "Why didn't you tell me that straight away?" he asked me and I sighed. "Because, there's a reason I don't date anyone and what happened three years ago and him getting out in a couple of months are not the main reason for it." I said, while I tried to get into a more comfy position on his lap so I could look at him. "El, a little help please." I demanded, and he put me into a more comfy position and I thanked him with a smile. "Can you tell me the main reason?" he asked, and I shook my head. The longer he held me like this, the more uncomfortable I felt but on the other hand I also felt safer than ever. "I can't, it would make things difficult and awkward." I said, while I felt a stray tear rolling down my cheeks.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you into telling it. Am I hurting you?" he asked, and I nodded, it started to hurt a little bit. "A little bit. It wouldn't be a bad idea to check for bruises later tonight or tomorrow morning. You know I bruise easily." I replied, still looking anxiously at him. I knew he still wanted to know why I didn't want to date. "Can you at least give me a hint?" he asked and I just sighed. "Why don't we just eat something, and forget about it." I suggested, while he looked at me and recognized the look on my face. "Okay, let's grab a bite to eat. But I can't just forget about this." he said softly, while he looked at me apologetically. "Alright, alright then we don't forget about it, but can we just not talk about it anymore?" I asked, while he nodded. "For now I won't ask you about it anymore." he said and I smiled a little through my tears while he wiped away my tears with his thumb. "Time for dinner? But I have to admit I don't feel like cooking. Maybe ordering a pizza or something like that?" I said, while I fought the urge to blurt out more than I wanted. "Let's order some pizza. I don't feel like cooking either." he said and I tried to get up. "El, to order pizza I need my phone." I said laughing, while I tried to get out of his grip I heard him sigh but he let me go. "Thank you, El. What kind of pizza you want? Or do you want to share one? Then I'll order a large one." I asked, before I left the bedroom. "Pepperoni. If you like pepperoni that is." he answered, while he followed my lead and we got into the living room. "Pepperoni is fine. I'll order a large one." I said, while I picked up my phone and dialed the number. "It's Cassidy Sullivan speaking. I want to order a large pepperoni pizza." I said, while the girl on took my order and asked for my address. I gave them my address and she gave me a time limit when my order should arrive. "Thanks! Bye." I hang up the phone and walked over to the desk where I kept my wallet and put out some money. "It should take about forty five minutes." I said, while I walked back to the couch and felt Elliot take my hand and pull me on his lap again.
"El, I just want to sit down next to you." I said in a serious tone, while I looked at him anxiously. "I just want to know one more thing." he said, and I sighed. "What do you want to know now?" I asked, before I tried to get up, to get us something to drink, when he tightened his grip on me once more. "Okay, El. Stop it. You're making me uncomfortable now." I said a little afraid. How safe I felt, I just wanted to get something to drink so I just kept trying, but the more I tried how tighter and more painful his grip got. "I just wanted to know how you feel while we're sitting like this." he said, while I started blushing furiously. "It's a little weird, but comfortable." I said, avoiding the safe part perfectly. "I think you're hiding something from me again." he said while he wiggled his eyebrows. I grumbled and tried to get up. "Elliot, let go of me or I won't be serving you any beer tonight!" I said and he let go instantly. "See, you're hiding something." he said, while I huffed and walked toward the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. When I got out two beers I closed the refrigerator. "Sorry, Cassie." a voice came from close behind which made me jumped and drop the bottles of beer, but before they could reach the floor two hands shot out and caught them. "Jesus El! Stop sneaking up on me like that or I'll end up having a heart attack!" I exclaimed, while looking at him and swiftly walked around him and took a seat at one of the stools at the kitchen bar. I jumped when the bell rang, and made a move to get up. "I'll get it." he said, while I watched him go I was actually worrying about why I was hiding things from him. "There's money on the desk." I said, while I waited in silence and opened my beer and took a sip. I silently got of my stool and sneaked into the hallway and stopped closely behind Elliot. I was planning on giving him the same thing he gave me two times already. He closed the door, and turned around and bumping into me. "Cassie! When did you get here?" he asked with his voice being an octave higher than it normally was. "I decided it was time for payback." I said laughing, walking away, while doing some sort of victory dance.
EPOV
"Okay, Okay I get it. I'll try to give up on the sneaking up on you." I said, laughing and put down the pizza box on the kitchen bar. My stomach growling, I eagerly opened the box and took a slice, while Cassidy followed my lead and did the same. "Earlier, on the couch, you really made things difficult for me, El." she started, while I looked at her. "You were pushing me again to tell you things I can't tell you, just like in the bedroom. If you're going to do this all the time, I think it's for the best you leave or that I'm going to stay at the precinct again." she told me, while I looked at her in shock. It actually scared me when she said that and I started to get a little scared of losing her as a friend. "I'm sorry, I really am. I won't do it again. I don't want to lose you as a friend." I said and I was sincere about this, I really didn't want to lose her in any way. "That's why I can't tell you the main reason of my no dating policy." she said, and I thought about it for a second and then it hit me and my jaw dropped to the floor. "I think I get it." I said, and she looked at me in shock but didn't make a move to reply and finished her slice of pizza and got up, while she picked up the pizza box and her bottle of beer, nodding with her head toward the living room. She put down the items on the coffee table before picking up another slice and sat down on the couch giving me a small smile. When I sat down I noticed she sat a little further away from me than usual, and I watched her finishing up her slice. Before I got another slice myself I noticed she had her arms around her stomach, and I wondered what was wrong. "Stomach ache?" I asked interested, while she looked up at me and I noticed a flash of fear in her eyes. "I did hurt you badly, didn't I?" I asked anxiously, while she nodded. "Just a little. But I don't mind, really I don't. You didn't do it on purpose." she replied whispering, while she scooted over a little.
"I'm so sorry, for hurting you." I whispered, while I kicked myself for this whole holding her tight thing. She got up, picked out a movie and popped it in. She came back over to the couch and plopped down next to me. "It's okay, El. Really, I think it's just your way for telling me you'll be there for me or to let me know you will protect me." she said softly, while she gave me a smile. We finished our beers and pizza in silence while we watched the movie. I hadn't realized she popped in Titanic until we were an hour into the movie. I carefully got up to get us both another drink, and sat down again. "Cassie, we really should check if I didn't cause any bruises on you." I stated, while she sighed. "It's fine, really. I don't feel a thing." she said sighing while looking at me and I gave her a smile. But somehow I didn't believe her statement, but decided it was for the best if I didn't push it I had pushed her enough today already. I was engrossed in the movie when I suddenly was hit with a pillow. "What was that for?" I asked surprised, while she kept hitting me with the pillow laughing. "I'm bored." she stated and got up, while she threw the pillow at me and quickly walked away. Laughing out loud she fled into the bedroom and slammed the door shut, when I got up and chased her laughing. When I walked into the bedroom, she was nowhere to be found, until I heard a muffled giggle coming from her closet. I walked up to the closet and opened the door, and picked her up. "You're not going to get away that easily, missy." I said laughing, while I dumped her on her bed and started tickling her, while she kept laughing. "Ouch!" she yelped suddenly and I stopped instantly. Carefully she pulled up her shirt, only to reveal a bruise that was going around her waist. She got up and looked in the mirror and gasped while turning around. "Oh my god, I knew I bruised easily, but this wasn't what I expected to happen." she exclaimed, while dropping her shirt and walking over to me.
"Maybe we should lay off for a while with sitting on your lap. At least, until this bruise is gone." she whispered, while I nodded and opened my arms to invite her in. I was shocked to say the least and I felt guilty, I did this to her. She walked into my arms and I just held her like that for a little while. "I'm so sorry for doing this to you." I whispered in her hair, and she huffed. "This is nothing in comparison to how I looked three years ago, remember." she stated, while looking at me. "And besides, you didn't do this on purpose. But for what it's worth, I was having fun anyway a few minutes ago." she said smiling, while she hugged me and held me close after that. We got back into the living room and intended to finishing the movie when my phone rang. I looked at it in surprise when I saw the captain's name flashing on my screen. "Stabler." I answered my phone and listened to what he had to say. "Okay, I'll give her the message. Thank you, captain. Goodnight." I ended the phone call and hung up. "What did Cragen want?" Cassie asked me worried. "He just called in to tell us he'll see us at work on Thursday. Which means we have another two days of free time. Although he wants to speak to us tomorrow morning." I said to her and she nodded. "Okay. It's slow at the precinct then." she replied and I nodded. "I guess so. But he said it we should see this as a short vacation. Since we had a lot of overtime. And I know you've build up a lot of it since three years ago, since you ignored his request to take time off after what happened and you never filed for vacation." I stated, and she huffed. "You know as well as I do I couldn't handle doing nothing and just hang around at home going crazy. Besides, you never filed for vacation either." she retorted and I chuckled. "I do know that. And I also know he tried to call you before he called me, but he said your phone went straight to voicemail." I said ignoring her statement about my vacation filing, while she looked at me. "Oh, damnit! Forgot to charge it." she exclaimed and went to fetch her phone and ran straight into her bedroom to put her phone in the charger.
CPOV
I was wondering why Cragen gave us time off together, and started to worry about what the others would think about this. "El, I was just wondering. Do you know why Cragen gave the both of us time off?" I asked, while I plopped on the couch next to him. "Nope." he said popping the p. "The others must think there's something going on between us or something. Since we're both not working." I said with an anxious look on my face, until I started wondering if I really was bothered by what the others would think about the relationship El and I shared. "Don't worry about it. Let them think about us what they want to think, we know the truth." he said, while I nodded. "Do you have any idea why Cragen wants to see us tomorrow?" I asked, while I looked at him. "I think he just wants to check up on how we're doing. Me starting the divorce, you coping with everything you're dealing with." he replied, while I nodded and I started thinking about what happened earlier today. "El, do you think we should mention the moments you held me so tight? I don't know how I wake up tomorrow, but if I can't walk up straight he'll get suspicious." I said, while he looked at me worried. "You think it will hurt more tomorrow? If that's the case, I think we should go to the hospital tomorrow to have you checked." he replied anxiously. "I don't know. But it could just be my muscles that will be aching, not the bruise itself. But I think we need to explain to Cragen that no one actually hurt me on purpose if I can't walk up straight." I stated with a small smile, I just wanted to be sure Elliot didn't get blamed for hurting me, since he didn't want to hurt me anyway. "I think you're right. But just know, I'm sorry, I really am." he replied, and I could hear in his voice he felt guilty as hell about this. Slowly I got up, when I remembered I hadn't locked the door yet, to do that. While walking toward the front door I started thinking about the subject we had talked about before dinner, but was startled out of my musings by Elliot's voice. "Cassie, you're not mad at me are you?" I heard him say, and I guessed he was following me.
"Of course not, why do you think that?" I said, while I turned around with a small smile on my face. "I don't know, you just got up and walked away." he replied, while I chuckled. "I just remembered I forgot to lock the door. But I'm not mad at you, I don't have any reason to be mad." I said smiling at him, and together we walked back to the living room. He sat down on the couch and I decided to get out of my comfort zone and sit down at his lap, while he gave me a smile. "I know you feel guilty about my bruise, but you don't have to." I said softly, and I noticed his arms were just at his sides. "You know what…" I started, and I noticed the questioning look on his face. "Let's just forget about it, for tonight and enjoy the movie." I whispered, while I snuggled closer into his chest. "You know I can't. I did that to you, even if I was just enjoying having you close the moment it happened, I'm the one to blame for it." he replied, while he carefully put his arms around my waist. I flinched a little, but noticed he laid them loosely around my waist. "Just promise me, you won't do that again when we're sitting like this." I whispered, and I felt him nod, I smiled and turned my focus back to the movie. During the movie he kept apologizing to me in whispers, I let him be, until I had enough of it. Even though I knew he felt he needed to do this, for his own sake it started to annoy me, so I got up and sat down next to him on the couch. "El for god sake, just stop it. It's getting annoying." I said while I looked up at him only to see the tears in his eyes. I gently grabbed his chin and turned his head toward me. "It's okay, Elliot. I'm not mad, nor do I blame you for hurting me unintentionally. I know you feel like you need to do this, but it's not necessary. Even though I was scared for a moment, I forgave you instantly. I love you as a friend, El. I don't want to lose you over something like this." I said softly, while I looked him in the eye, to show him I meant it.
"I never felt so guilty in my life, especially since I just wanted to comfort you. I hurt you by just holding you. When I saw that bruise earlier tonight, it hurt like hell to see you like that. And I was thinking how it was possible that I did that. I love you too as a friend, Cassie. And you won't get rid of me, until you're tired of being my friend." he said, while he looked at me with a small smile. I sighed but smiled at him and laid my head on his shoulder. "Actually you did feel that guilty once before. Three years ago." I said grimly and he nodded. The movie ended and I sat up straight, while Elliot picked out another movie to watch and I took out my laptop again to search for a new apartment. "I remember that. But let's not talk about it for now." he said, while he sat down again and laid his arm at the back of my couch and I found an apartment close to the apartment I now lived in. "Look! It's just around the corner! It's not much bigger than I have now, but it looks great. I think I give them a call tomorrow." I said and looked at him, and he nodded with a smile. I put away my laptop and laid my head on his shoulder, while his arm fell softly around me. It wasn't the first time we watched a movie like this at my place, his wife knew we had a movie night once a week and didn't think anything about it. Of course we all knew there was nothing going on between Elliot and me, although Kathy didn't know we always ended up sitting like this. But in the end he brought me to bed, when I fell asleep and got home after he carefully locked my door with the spare key they had. But since I changed the locks I never gave them a spare key, I actually didn't thought about it and just forgot to do it eventually. But Elliot never mentioned it, but started to spend more time with me than usual. When I asked him about it, he just waved it off as being a good friend who had to make sure I was alright and had fun. At the end of the year I exploded, he was getting on my nerves since he almost never left my side after he figured out I slept at the precinct, we had a short fight about it, but made up before the others could figure out what was going on. I knew he meant nothing with the closeness, but when I observed his behavior later on I started to get the feeling something was wrong, of course he waved me off when I asked what was wrong and just said he had a little disagreement with Kathy. I knew my gut feeling about it was right when he told me what actually was going on the other night at the precinct.
That was when I started to think all those fights had to do with how close Elliot and I were, but when he told me yesterday that it wasn't the case and told me what really was going on, I felt relieved. "What are you thinking?" he suddenly asked, and I shrugged. "Nothing really." I waved him off, but he didn't buy it. "Okay, okay. I actually remembered I never gave you and Kathy a spare key, like you had before it happened. Somehow it slipped through my mind, I guess." I explained, with a smile. "And then I thought about the fight we had, after I exploded at you last year. Did you know that was the first and only fight we ever had?" I asked, while he nodded chuckling. "That was pretty funny actually. One moment we were fighting and the next we were laughing and joking again, like nothing ever happened." he said laughing, and I nodded. I got up and walked over to the desk and rummaged through the drawer. I found what I was looking for, and walked back to the couch. "Here you go." I said, handing him the key. I gave them a spare key for emergencies and they had to get in if necessary. "You know, just for emergencies." I said, while he smirked at me. "Why do I get the idea I won't be alone here that much?" I asked him, I knew that smirk. "Okay, okay. You can use it every time you come over until I move out." I gave in and looked at him only to find he was still smirking at me.
EPOV
"I was just kidding. But I will only stay over if you feel like it. You just have to get used to be here alone again, I know it will take a while but whenever you feel like you need me to stay over just tell me. I don't want you going downhill again and see the Cassie that looks like hell, due to a lack of sleep." I said with a smile, while I looked at her. She was looking better, the purple bags beneath her eyes were almost gone, since she finally had a good night of sleep. "I know, I promise I will tell you when I feel like I need you to stay the night." she promised me, and I nodded. "Oh, another thing. Just promise me, to call me when you wake up after a nightmare. If you don't feel like calling me, just promise me to tell me when you see me in the morning." I pleaded, while she nodded and promised me to do that. We watched the movie until I noticed her eyes were closed and I decided to bring her to her room and put her on the bed putting the covers over her. I silently left the room and shut the door ajar. I stopped the movie and turned off the television, to get myself ready for the night. I plopped down at the couch, got comfortable and closed my eyes. I tossed and turned for a while, and sighed it seemed I couldn't sleep for now, so I just stared at the ceiling. I was just dozing off when I heard an agonizing scream coming from the bedroom. I jumped of the couch and ran into the bedroom, to find Cassidy sitting up, panting heavily while she cried.
I carefully sat down at the side of the bed and caressed her hair. "It's okay, sweetie. I'm here. Nothing will happen to you, you're safe." I said comforting her, while she sighed. I decided to get up and sit down next to her on the other side of the bed and take her in my arms. "I promise you, nothing will happen to you. I'm here with you and will keep you safe as long as you need me to." I whispered, while I felt her nodding against my chest. "Can you tell me what the dream was about?" I asked softly and she started to cry again but nodded. I calmed her down and she looked up. "Him, it was about him and about what he did to me three years ago. He didn't only beat and rape me, but he started stabbing me too. After that, he dragged me to the kitchen, where you were out cold on the floor and made me watch how he started stabbing you I started screaming, and woke up screaming." she told me sniffling, while I took her in my arms and comforted her. I pulled away from her so I could lay down, and she did the same, with her head on my chest. "El?" she started, and I looked down at her and hummed in reply. "I was thinking about what I told you earlier today or rather what I didn't tell you." she said quietly. "What about that? About what part are you talking anyway?" I asked her, while she looked up at me. "The part where you asked me how I felt about sitting on your lap." she said softly and I just hummed. "I didn't tell you everything that I felt beside weird but comfortable." she whispered, and she caught my attention. "Please, tell me if you want to." I pleaded with her, while I felt her nod against my chest. "Only if you promise me, not to walk away from me after I tell you everything." she said and I told her I promised to stay with her, whatever it was she was hiding from me I would be there for her. "First of all the main reason for me not dating is kind of you. I think I like you more than just as a friend, but I'm not sure it's real, maybe it's just you being here twenty four seven that makes my brain going crazy or something." she started and I was shocked. "Second, I didn't felt weird, but comfortable. I felt safer and more comfortable than I ever had." she added and I just felt honored. "I thought you were hiding something like that, and I can't tell you if it's real, like you said yourself. Since my brain is going crazy too, I think but I can tell you I'm honored to hear you feel safe when you're with me and that's something I want you to feel. I want to keep you safe, you're my best friend and partner after all." I said with a smile and she just nodded. "Sleep, Cassie. You'll need it." I whispered, and felt her nod while she drifted off. It didn't take long before I fell asleep too, and woke up again way to soon. Carefully I got up and walked to the kitchen to start breakfast, and heard Cassie starting to wake up. "I look like hell." I heard her sigh, before she came into the kitchen fully dressed. "Morning El. You're up early. Did you get any sleep at all last night?" she greeted me, while I nodded. When I turned around I could see what she meant when she said she looked like hell. "Good morning sunshine. I got as much sleep as you did after that horrific nightmare you had." I said, while I gave her a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. "Eat." I said, while I turned around to make her a cup of coffee. When her coffee was done I gave it to her and picked up my own plate of food and my cup of coffee and sat down on the opposite of her, while I thought about what she said last night. Somehow it made me happy to finally know the truth but it also made me wonder if she really felt this way for three years now. I shook my head to get out of my thoughts before my breakfast got cold.
When I was done eating I got up and did the dishes before taking some clothes out of my suitcase and taking a shower. "Damn it! Cassie! Can you please throw in some towels for me?" I yelled, and soon enough I heard her rummaging through a closet and opening the bathroom door. "They're on the sink, El." she said and got out as fast as she could. When I was finished and dressed I walked into the bathroom to find she already made up the bed and could hear the sounds of the television and her walking around the house. "If you're up to it, we can go and see the captain, when you're ready." I said, observing her movements. "Sounds good. I just want to get this over with." she replied, while she turned off the television and turned around slowly. I saw her flinch when she started walking to the hallway to collect her coat and keys. "Are you okay?" I asked her, while she nodded. "Yeah, just my stomach that's a bit painful. I told you yesterday that it could be hurting more today." she said, and walked out slowly while I followed her out and locked the closed door. We drove to the precinct in a comfortable silence. I parked the car and got over to the passenger side and helped her out of the car. Together we walked into the precinct to find Olivia, John, Brian and Fin already there. Okay, this is going to look so bad ran through my mind, while I greeted them. We walked straight to the captain's office and knocked. He invited us in and I closed the door. "Good morning captain." we both said, while I saw him looking at Cassidy anxiously. "Cassidy, how are you holding up?" he asked her, while she slowly stepped forward. "Good, I guess. Didn't sleep so well last night, because of a nightmare. But I'm good seen the circumstances." she replied, while she stepped back.
"You want to share the nightmare?" he asked her, while she shook her head. "I prefer not to, but if you want to know what it was about, Elliot can tell you if you don't mind if I leave when he tells." she replied softly while he nodded. She walked out of the room and I decided to sit down. "It was about three years ago, but worse than what actually happened. She dreamed he was stabbing her, before making her watch him stabbing me." I told him with a sigh. "It took me a while to calm her down, when I got in the room after she woke up screaming. As you know I left Kathy, and Cassie offered me her couch." I explained when I noticed the puzzled look on his face, when I had explained her nightmare. "I see, if the nightmares get worse, make sure she keeps up with the appointments with Dr. Huang. I noticed she's walking slower than normal, something happened to her?" he asked and my eyes widened. "Yes, but it was completely my fault. I just held her too tight when she needed some comfort. I was tightening my grip around her waist, when she only wanted to order some food the first time. She ensured me I didn't hurt her, but of course I felt guilty, I still do. The second time, she wanted to get something to drink but this time I did hurt her but she claimed it was just a little." I explained, and he looked worried. "Later that evening we were goofing around a little, since Cassie was bored, she started throwing pillows at me, and we ended up in her bedroom, and I started tickling until she cried out in pain, I stopped immediately. She got up, and pulled up her shirt only to reveal a bruise around her waist." I said with a sigh, and he got up. "Detective Sullivan, can you come in please?" he called her back in, and she came in a couple of minutes later. "Elliot told me, he accidently hurt you last night?" he asked, and she nodded. "I don't blame him. He was just holding me a little too tight when I felt down. It's not hurting that bad anyway. It's just my stomach that's aching at the moment. He would never hurt me on purpose, captain." she told him, and he nodded.
CPOV
"Can I see the bruise?" the captain asked, and I nodded. Elliot got up and closed the blinds so I wouldn't be exposed to the others. I didn't want them to know about it, so when they asked me when I came out the captain's office I told them I had a stomach ache, which they seemed to accept. I carefully pulled up my shirt and turned around, to show the extent of my bruise. I heard a gasp and I dropped down my shirt. "Benson, out!" the captain yelled. "It could have been worse captain. This is nothing in comparison with three years ago." I ensured him, while he nodded. I felt some tears rolling down my cheeks and walked into Elliot's arms. He dried my tears, and smiled a little. "Did you need me for anything else captain? I think I need to be alone for a little while, until you and Elliot are done." I said, and the captain shook his head. "Elliot will join you in a minute. I just need to know how he's doing with the procedures for the divorce. You can head out if you want." he said, while I nodded. "You can wait in the car if you feel like it." Elliot said, while he handed me the car keys and I nodded once more. "Thank you." I said and left the office. I caught Olivia's glare and tried to get out of there as fast as I could. I was just in the elevator, when she caught up with me. "A stomach ache huh." she said, and I could feel the hostility, while she dragged me out the elevator. "Please, Olivia just let me go. Nothing happened." I pleaded, with tears in my eyes while she shot me another glare. "That bruise begs the differ, and you know that as well as I do!" she yelled at me. I heard quick footsteps, and I felt my cheeks turn bright red. "Just let go of me, Olivia! I don't want to talk about it, and if I wanted to, I wouldn't be talking to you!" I started screaming at her, while someone came closer. "Liv, let her go." a familiar voice said but she didn't listen. Her grip on my wrist grew tighter. "Someone has been hurting you, and you want him just to get away with it?" she yelled, while the pain was clearly visible on my face.
"Liv! You're hurting her, let her go!" Fin said, while Olivia kept holding on. "You're buying her lie about the stomach ache? If that's so, you're just as oblivious as Munch and Cassidy!" she yelled, glaring at me. "Olivia, get your hands off of her! If she doesn't want to talk about it, you have to respect that! Now let her go!" the captain's voice boomed through the hallway and Olivia let go instantly. She huffed and stalked off into the squad room. "You okay?" Fin asked me, while I nodded. Another bruise to put on my list I thought angry. "You're sure, you're okay?" captain Cragen asked, and I nodded once more. "Just make sure to keep Benson away from me, when I get back to work on Thursday." I stated, while he nodded. "I'll make sure she stays out of your way, from now on. Take off as long as you need to." he promised me and I nodded once more before turning around and head back to the elevator. I pushed the button and sighed. I felt Elliot's hand on the small of my back, and I looked up at him with a small smile on my face. Together we stepped into the elevator to head for my place. "I guess I can put another bruise on my list, tonight." I said sighing, when my phone rang. "Sullivan." I answered. "Captain, what's going on?" I asked, and he started talking. He told me how Elliot had told him I bruise easily and that he figured I would show one on my wrist. He also told me I could take time off until the bruises were gone. "Okay, captain. Thank you. Bye." I ended the call and hung up. "I guess I'm not coming back to work until the bruises are gone." I sighed and I looked at Elliot. "You too huh. He ordered me to keep an eye on you until you're fine again, which means I'm not coming back here until you do." he said to me with a small smile and I groaned. "So he thinks I need a babysitter?" I stated bluntly, not that I minded spending more time with my best friend but I didn't need a babysitter. "You know I'm not your babysitter and I won't babysit you. He just wants to make sure you're fine." he said, while I huffed.
When we were out of the building I gave him the car keys and got in the car. The journey home was silent, but I didn't mind since it was a comfortable one. When we came home he helped me out of the car again, and we made our way into the building. I groaned when I hit the second stairway. Getting down the stairs wasn't the problem, but getting up was a completely different tale to tell. "Are you okay, Cassie?" Elliot asked me, while I shook my head. "It hurts too much, I can't even climb the stairs properly." I complained, and before I knew I was in his arms in bridal style. "El, put me down!" I exclaimed, while he shook his head laughing. "You can't walk up the stairs properly, so I carry you up the stairs, there's no point in arguing with me about that." he stated, while I put my arms around his neck and held on to the mail I took out of my mailbox. "Okay, put me down, we're at my floor. I can walk a flat service perfectly fine on my own." I said when we reached my floor, but he ignored my words and carried me to the door and put me down on my feet. I unlocked the door, opened it and walked in, throwing my keys into the bowl on the desk and sat down onto the couch and going through my mail. "El! I think you're papers came in!" I yelled, knowing he was in the bathroom. I heard him flush the toilet and come into the living room. I gave him the envelope and he opened it and started to read. I took care of the bills while he was reading the papers and signed them. "I'll bring these to Kathy. Want to join me? I guess she would be thrilled to see you again." he said with a sarcastic tone in his voice, while I nodded chuckling. We got out of my apartment and locked the door heading to the parking garage.
N/A: I hope you like the first chapter! Let me know what you think by using that beautiful review button, thanks.