Trembling fingers clicked the last press-stud in place with a small 'pop' on the high collar of Kotetsu's grey long-sleeved shirt. His face, reflecting at him from his vanity: pale, clammy and nervous. Sweat beaded off of him from his temple and dripped down his neck and he felt cold all over.

'Am I doing the right thing?' He whispered to Iruka through dry lips. Since he had made the decision to see his deceased lover, a sudden spurt of cotton-mouth had taken over his throat, making it almost impossible to control his basic functions such as breathing and swallowing.

'I think you are.' Iruka whispered back tenderly, straightening miscellaneous pieces of Kotetsu's ensemble. It had been a while since the raven-haired had seen the light of day and felt the sun on his skin, but this was progress. A step in the right direction towards getting the old Kotetsu back. Still, he could not let this thought get the better of him and set his expectations high. He knew exactly what he was going through. Well, to an extent.

'I'm so nervous...'

'I'll be with you every step of the way, alright? Baby steps...

...

...There, now you're ready.'

While it had only been a few days, the tanned chūnin's eyes calculated and noted the changes in the other man. Eyes that used to sparkle with laughter were now deep and brooding; their playful glint now extinguished to the depths. Cheeks that used to be full of vitality were now slightly gaunt; cheekbones prominent that jutted out more than what they should. Sockets were sunken lightly back into his skull, and the smile that lit up Konoha was buried behind various layers of sadness and was the epitome of a man at the end of his rope; the example of a harsh reality, and it made Iruka's heart sink.

'Are you ready?' He prodded gently, taking the raven-hair's shoulders and patting them gently. Kotetsu nodded and with a rattly breath, shuffled his feet towards the front door, almost afraid to creak the hinges open in fear of bringing the foreboding sense of despair closer to him.

The sunlight was blinding as he stepped out into the bustling streets of the village. He scrunched his eyes shut as a shooting pain shot through his temples from the sheer light but it passed quickly. Everything looked too bright to be realistic, but this was reality and he had to face it. Paranoia ate at him slowly as his feet dragged him towards the hospital; his breath quickened and he could swear that passers by were staring at him. In truth, some were, but only due to the fact that they hadn't seen the chūnin for days. News has travelled from neighbour to neighbour about Izumo's passing, but none knew about the actions that had followed when it reached Kotetsu's ears. He felt that the village did, however, and that all of theirs eyes were ones of disgust and pity from what he did to himself.

'I hate this.' He said out of the corner of his mouth to Iruka, who nudged him gently to keep going.

'What do you hate?'

'Pity. Sadness is one thing. You can be sad for someone, but when you pity someone...it's as if they look down on you...like they're superior.'

'No one is more superior than the other. Besides, don't focus on them. Focus on...what lies ahead.'

Kotetsu's stomach twisted into a grotesque knot. It was painful, and he felt like vomiting profusely on the sidewalk because of it. But he tried to swallow the stiff lump in his throat and pressed onwards.

Before long, the two had reached the hospital; the smell of sterile chemicals once again burning the insides of their noses in an overwhelming force. Corridors, stark as snow, seemed to stretch on for forever and always, and everything seemed much too difficult to commit to. But somewhere, Izumo was waiting for him, waiting for the goodbye that was never given.

Iruka talked in a low voice to the receptionist and Kotetsu watched the understanding dawn across her face. Understanding as well as pity. Yes, there it was, directed at him personally. It left a foul taste in his already dry mouth but he couldn't bring himself to look her in the eyes. She nodded to Iruka and called over the intercom in short, clipped tones.

'Aoba to the desk. Aoba.'

Almost instantaneously, a bespectacled nin appeared at Kotetsu's left, his sunglasses reflecting the harsh white lights in the lenses.

'Come with me.' He said quietly and turned on his heel. Like sheep, the two chūnin followed at a small distance, Kotetsu's heart pounding painfully like a jackhammer as the blood pumped deafeningly in his ears. His palms were sweating and he groped around in the air for something to latch onto. His palm grazed Iruka's fingers and his hand latched onto the tanned one, gripping the digits tightly. Iruka didn't shake the clammy fingers off though, but instead tightened around the fair hand reassuringly. It was like a father guiding a young boy, afraid to lose them or let them run away.

The walk to the mortician's room seemed like an eternity, and as the three descended deeper into the rear of the hospital, their footsteps echoed around them while the sound grew progressively louder with every footfall; like the ticking of a clock that when the countdown stopped meant disaster.

'I was the captain of the mission.' Aoba said quietly, his voice cutting the silence as he walked ahead of the other two.

'It was meant to be a simple mission, but it was a ploy. The truth was that the so-called 'gypsies' that we were meant to protect were joūnin of an enemy village. They were disguised as travellers and they launched a surprise attack when we had set up camp for the night at the end of the twelfth day.'

Kotetsu's gripped tightened fiercely around Iruka's fingers and bullets of sweat were now dripping down his neck relentlessly. Of all the people to be chosen for this mission, why Izumo? Why couldn't it have been someone else, someone higher up...

'There had been some concern within our group about them, though' Aoba continued, oblivious to the effect it was having on the chūnin.

'Izumo was the first to say something, so he was the first target because of it...he fought to protect all of us...'

Was Aoba crying? Possibly. His voice had cracked lightly on the word "us".

'Even with the amount of damage done to his body, he still managed to take down one of the five attackers...'

Aoba stopped out the front of a white door. This was it. This was where Izumo was waiting for him. Iruka quickly relinquished his hold on the pale hand.

'Unfortunately, I can only let Kotetsu in. We weren't expecting an escort to begin with.'

Kotetsu's narrow eyes widened slightly and they pleaded silently at Iruka for help.

'You'll be okay.' Iruka whispered quietly with a small smile he hoped was reassuring.

'I don't think I can go in alone-'

'Yes you can. I have faith in you-'

'Can I say something?' Aoba interjected, watching a shivering Kotetsu before him.

'...I was there in his final moments...Izumo asked me if I had ever found love. He started talking about someone that was special to him...Although I specialise in mind jutsu, it didn't take a genius to know who he was talking about.'

Aoba's poker face let no reactions taint his façade, but his voice remained as stony as ever.

'His last words were "don't hate us."'

That was it. The secret was out.

"Why Izumo?" Kotetsu thought, his knees beginning to give out underneath him.

"Why'd you have to tell?"

Because we can change the way that people think.

'Thank you for telling me.' Kotetsu said quietly and stepped inside of the morticians room: the foreboding sense beginning to press down on his heart as he forced his feet to shuffle inwards.

Cold. There was no other word to explain the atmosphere. It wasn't freezing, or frigid. Just cold.

The familiar sense of his emotions slapped down on him again as he distanced himself away from Iruka's jutsu. This time however, it wasn't as ferocious as it had been before. Maybe it was because his body had paralysed itself and it caused him to feel numb from shock value. Whatever the reason, he didn't have an answer for it and for the first time, he welcomed the bland sense of feeling he had.

He knew all too well that the gurney less than ten steps away was the resting place of his once-vigorous partner. If he had to comment though, where he was placed gave the cadaver a brilliant glow; the light filtering in from the window cascaded down onto the brunette in an almost fairytale fashion. Just his face was visible, and his eyes were closed; he almost looked at if he was just pleasantly sleeping.

Kotetsu dragged his feet as close as he could dare, and his heart caught in his throat. His mind whirled with so many questions left unanswered, so many answers that were lost to the ages. Did he really want to see him? Or better yet, did he have the stomach to be able to?

How desperately he wanted to. How desperately he fought to break down the barriers preventing him to do so. With every step he chipped away at the force fields, making a small opening for his confidence to seep through.

'Hey Iz...' He whispered, barely audible over his thundering heart.

'I'm sorry I'm late.'

One more step. Then another. Just one more and he could see every detail on the pale face. He did look like he was sleeping, and that minuscule thought was enough to keep Kotetsu standing there for a brief moment. As his eyes scanned over Izumo's face, those familiar blemishes and sunspots his eyes drank in weeks ago confirmed the realisation of yes, Izumo had sadly passed on through the light.

'I wish it could have been me...you could have made a difference.'

Kotetsu's fingers lightly brushed through the brunette's fringe, edging them over the smallest distance so he could look at both closed eyes. a smile tried in vain to tug at his lips as he remembered something special. That secretive eye that he was the only person apart from Izumo that was privy to. Unknown to every one else, Izumo's eyes were actually two different colours; his left was the heavy coal iris which everyone saw. His right, though, was actually a deep earthy brown; so dark that it almost matched his other eye. Almost.

'You told me I was beautiful, but I'm not anything compared to you. I never will be, buddy.'

He raised two fingers of his hand and pressed them to his lips, before lightly brushing them over Izumo's soft, cold pair. A last final kiss.

'Goodbye Izumo. I love you...'

And with that, he turned away reluctantly and strode out of the cold room without a second glance.