I woke up in a shock.
I realized I was floating in some sort of a liquid. As my vision cleared up I realized I was in a bacta tank. I swished around desperately trying to remember why I was in here. It was then the realization dawned on me.
"He's dead, my master is dead." If I could cry in this tank I would have.
A medical droid had detected my actions.
"Please sir, you must calm down." The droid said with its cold, robotic voice. It continued, "You have healed sir, you will be removed from the tank shortly."
The tank drained and I exited.
I breathed heavily, "How long have I been in here."
"Two weeks sir." The droid replied.
"Two weeks? Ok," I thought trying to calm myself down, "Sirus' test was last week, I'm sure he passed and we can celebrate together."
I let the doctors do a few more tests before I was released. While the loss of my master pained me to no end I was determined in my goal to get to the temple. Fortunately, I was summoned by the Jedi to return immediately.
I arrived at the Jedi temple late at night. The first thing I did was run to my friend's room. I was interrupted mid run by a Jedi master telling me to report to the council.
I don't remember much from the council meeting. I only remember that my master death was brought up and that I was promoted to knight. Even that I don't remember well.
Sirus failed his test. The masters said something about him being commendable, but it didn't matter to me. The rest of the time was just a blur. I lost my master, the closest thing I had to a father and my best friend without so much as saying goodbye. I tried to move past it, but I was never really was the same. I refused any Padawans and simply did my part to end the war. Then Order 66 happened.
For a long time, my misery and self-loathing had built up to the point that I was a hair's brief from falling. I hated the order for everything that happened. For joining the pointless war. For forcing us to fight for a dying Republic. For taking me away from my family. For throwing my friend away after kidnapping him in the first place. And on the night of Order 66 I hid. I let the order be slaughtered and when the opportunity became available, I bowed to the Emperor and joined him.
My service to the Empire had actually been very similar to my service to the Jedi as a knight, just a series of battles that I really didn't care about. Throughout my service, there are only two moments I can remember clearly.
I was walking down down a field with some storm troopers. Reports came in that there might be Jedi resistance here
Two Jedi hopped out of their cover. Some non force sensitives started blasting us with their rifles. The stormtroopers were quickly cut down. I shrugged off their deaths as they were expendable. The ensuing fight lasted no time at all as one Jedi got over confident and charged. I simply decapitated him. The other Jedi was undertrained and I quickly killed him. The non force sensitives ran in terror. I wasn't there for them so I forced pushed them and continued walking.
At last I came to a barn that the Jedi must have been previously hiding in.
I walk up to a Jedi. He holds his lightsaber up. He shakes violently in fear
"Where is your master?" I ask, my yellow eyes looking down at him.
"I. I don't know what you are talking about, I am the only Jedi here." He responds, voice filled with fear.
I laugh and shoot him with lightning. I then began force choking him.
"Do you think I'm stupid?" I ask incredulously.
"That's enough!" A voice yells behind me. It's a voice I remember. I throw the Jedi in a pile of hay. He gasps for air only half consciously.
I look behind me to see a face I never thought I'd see again.
"Sirus." I said in disbelief.
He stared me right in the eyes. A look of betrayal that crushes my soul was plastered on his face.
"How could you do this?" He asked in shock, "How could you betray everything we stood for? How could you kill fellow Jedi?"
I had felt a powerful shimmer in the Force, as if I was about to enter some great crossroads. A moment where I could continue down my path or leave my pain behind. But, in my passion I ignored it and I suffered for it.
"The Jedi betrayed me!" I shouted through tears. "They took everything away from me and I'll make them suffer for it." My voice went cold.
Sirus breathed in and out, "If you won't listen than I have to stop you before you kill more people." He said emotionally.
"Please don't do this." I begged, "If you fight me I'll win and you might die."
"I'd rather die doing the right thing than live letting you continue your terror.'
The duel commenced, as I expected I began quickly beating him. He quickly tired while I kept going at him strong. I wanted to stop the fight without killing him so I force pushed him into some hay.
"Sirus! Stop this nonsense." I deactivated my lightsaber. "We don't have to fight."
I was met my gurgles and grunts of pain.
I ran up to him and noticed a pool of blood running from under him. In horror I under him to see that he had been partially impaled on a sharp farming tool that had been under the hay. In my haste to end the battle, I force pushed him too hard into a tool that was under the hay.
"NO! Sirus stay with me!" I wanted to pick him up and get him out of there but I feared that it would make the bleeding worse.
"Victor." He managed to eak out. "It's fatal, something important got hit." He coughed up some blood. "This is where the dark side gives you. You knew this, so why did you fall for it?"
"Sirus." I said through tears, "They took all I cared about away. They took my parents, they took my master in their war, and *sniffle, they took you. Sirus I'm sorry I never told you but, but, I love you."
Sirus' face changed to that of one of understanding. "Victor, I'm sorry it went like this." He said in a pained voice, "please don't continue down this path. It will only lead to more pain. Please, please l-." And with that, he gave out. His Force presence left his body. What was left of my mental stability snapped and I ran out of the barn. I didn't care about killing the Jedi here anymore. I thought about what he said about this causing pain, but I deserved the pain, I couldn't let go of it.
Even after that event I still tried to push through. I tried to do the "Sith way" and embrace the pain. I tried to pretend to be the cruel Sith, uncaring about anything
I was quickly pulled out of my memories by alarms blazing. I got up to ensure the door is locked so I will not be disturbed. It is and I go back to the story. I will have to make this one quick unfortunately, the end is near.
Year 3275 LY:
The last moment of my life I can clearly remember. By now I had fully embraced the dark side. My previously brown eyes had become a sickly yellow, my tanned skin had been becoming paler each year, even my golden blond hair had rapidly begun fading.
At 35 years old I was ordered to assist the Imperial Army putting down a rebellion. I don't remember the city's name. I was marching through the suburbs, cutting down anyone I saw, rebel or not. I served the Empire out of no faithfulness, but to feed my connection to the dark side, as it was my only way to forget and keep what little personality I had left. I remember entering a house, intel said it was a rebel cache, not that I cared if it was. I was on a busy scheduled and planned on just killing the inhabitants and leaving the rest to the storm troopers.
I had felt a strange shimmer in the, I shrugged it off as nothing. I pulled myself out of my memories again. "Was that the same thing I felt the day in the barn."
I continue with my story knowing that finding the answer would be pointless now.
I entered the house, I cut down the old woman who was standing by the door. She had a blaster anyway. Next was the old man. He blasted the storm troopers behind me and lunged at me. Being old and out of shape I quickly shoved him against the wall and put a lightsaber by his throat. Then the strangest thing happened. His sneer went to one of shock and one of such sadness that it got even my cold heart to pump blood again. I didn't like it so I cut his head off. Last was the boy. He looked to be 18. I laugh as I Force Pulled the blaster out of his hand and lunged my lightsaber in his gut.
"What kind of animal are you?" He barely eked out, "Coming in to my home and killing my family?"
I laughed it off, "And who are you?"
His response was to spit blood in my face, "Force damn you Sith, let it be known that the Lucion family stayed true to resisting evil like you as my brother did as a Jedi" And with that he died. But I died with him.
"Lucion? My name is Lucion!" I looked down at the corpse, it was then I realized something. The boy I killed looked like me. Same hair color, same skin tone, same eye color. Has it been so long that I couldn't remember my own face? It was then I realized why the old man looked so sad on seeing me. He recognized me, who knew who I was. He was my father. I just killed my family, my father, mother, and what must be my younger brother dead by my hand. The family I wanted to meet for so long. Gone.
I died after that. There was nothing left of me, just a body moving to the commands of my brain. My soul serving no purpose other than some metaphysical power source. The mask I worked so hard to make had shattered to the point of irreparability. I had no pleasure from anything anymore. Even as I watched Alderaan being destroyed I felt nothing. So many life forces being sniffed out at once to where even Darth Vader flinched and I felt nothing.