Wednesday, 9.30am – Las Pegasus Jailhouse
"Oh, what can be taking Twilight so long?" Rarity fretted.
"Just be patient Rarity," Spike patted her hoof "I'm sure Twilight's on her way, she'd never desert her friends!"
"Ah hate to admit it Spike, but Ah'm worried." AJ frowned "It's been more than a couple o' hours at least since we sent that message and it ain't like Twi to be late. Do ya think she even got it?"
"She'll be here!" The dragon insisted.
"Well if she takes much longer I'm seriously going to have to demand they get something done about the décor in here," The unicorn sniffed "This rotting straw and chilly stone motif is so last century!"
At that moment they heard the clang of a door opening and Blue Streak returned, bringing a visitor with him.
"Twilight!" The three of them cried, overjoyed and then all began talking at once.
"Oh darling you can't imagine how glad I am to see you!"
"Ya sure are a sight for sore eyes!"
"I knew you'd come through for us Twilight!"
"Spike! Rarity! AJ! Thank Celestia you're ok!" Twilight said "I'm so sorry that it took me so long to get here!"
"Shucks sugar, all that matters is y'all're here now!" Said Applejack.
"Yes Twilight," Rarity said urgently "You simply must explain to this dear officer that we're not criminals!"
Twilight frowned in bemusement "What are you guys even doing in here?"
"We're not sure Twi," Said Spike "None of us really remembers what happened last night but – "
"We've been arrested," Said Rarity "For fighting! Can you imagine me brawling in a bar like a common thug? Not that I'm suggesting Spike or Applejack would ever do such a thing either – " She said hastily as the other two glowered at her.
"Is this true?" The purple alicorn asked in disbelief.
"Yes your Highness," Blue Streak shifted uncomfortably "They were arrested at a bar last night after all three were involved in a bust-up. The stallions they assaulted have said they want to press charges. Tomorrow they'll be up in front of the judge."
"I see," Twilight thought for a moment "Do they have to stay here until then? Can't they come back tomorrow?"
"But your Majesty, I wouldn't want any of them to just disappear…" The police unicorn was obviously not happy with having to disappoint a Princess.
"Officer, you have my personal guarantee that if you release them into my supervision, I'll see to it they come back to answer the charges and I'll sign anything you like to that effect!"
"I'm sorry your Excellency," Blue Streak was visibly sweating now "But I really don't have that authority!"
"Well, I can see your hooves are tied." Twilight said regretfully "In that case I'll need to borrow my dragon assistant for just a moment. Spike? Take a letter to Princess Celestia, tell her I won't be able to attend the reception – "
"Now wait, there's no need for that!" Stammered the police unicorn "I'm sure I can trust the word of the Princess of Friendship without any need to trouble Princess Celestia!"
Twilight gave him a sweet, diplomatic smile "Thank you Officer. It's such a relief that the force has ponies who know the value of friendship."
Wednesday, 10am – Las Pegasus Police Station
"You really saved our tails in there Twilight!" Spike threw his arms round her legs when they were finally outside.
"I was glad to Spike," Twilight hugged him back "I just wish I could make all this trouble go away so easily."
Rainbow Dash was incredulous "You're not seriously gonna make 'em go back tomorrow and face the music?"
Twilight gave a guilty shrug "I'm sorry Rainbow but I have to. I gave my word as a Princess, I can't break it – what kind of example would that set?"
"Ah think Twilight's right," Said Applejack "Whatever happened last night we gotta go back and hold our hooves up!"
"But darling, how can we own up to anything when we don't even know what really happened?" Rarity cried "And the whole scenario sounds so unlikely, I just can't even picture it!"
Spike looked at Twilight, Pinkie and Rainbow "I suppose you three didn't see what happened?" He asked.
The three mares looked very uncomfortable "Actually Spike – " Twilight began.
"We-e-e may be suffering a little on that score ourselves," Dash continued.
"Yeah! We got so blasted we ended up sleeping in some random stallion's room and none of us can remember how we got there!" Pinkie finished for them.
"Well, we can't!" She said, as the other two sighed in exasperation.
"Wait a minute," Rainbow said suddenly "You guys spent the night in the slammer and we spent the night in the hockey captain's room, but where in the wide world of Equestria did Fluttershy and Discord get to?"
"You mean they aren't back at the hotel?" Rarity asked.
"No," Twilight said "I mean, I don't think so! We knocked on the doors of all the rooms, including theirs, and there was no answer. When I read your note I just assumed they'd be at the police station too!"
"Well Ah hate to say it but last night it woulda been useful to have that varmint around," Applejack said "Sure can't imagine him staying locked up!"
"Come on you guys," Rainbow Dash was suddenly frantic with worry "We gotta go look for Fluttershy!"
"Maybe she's just in bed – you know – passed out?" Said Pinkie "We were all pretty wasted last night."
Twilight nodded "We probably should get back to the hotel but don't worry too much Rainbow, I'm sure – "
"Yeah, but what if something happened to Fluttershy?!" Rainbow wailed "How come she didn't answer her door?"
"Steady there pardner," Applejack put her hoof on Rainbow's shoulder "Ah'd make a bet that wherever Fluttershy is, that's where Discord'll be! Ah may not remember everything that happened last night, but Ah do recall him stickin' to her like caramel on a candy apple."
Rarity groaned and massaged her temples "Well wherever they are, they can't possibly be in as sticky a situation as we are!"
Wednesday, 9.25am – Discord's Hotel Room, possibly at the Four Stallions
"Um…. Discord?" Fluttershy whispered.
"Mmmmphh." The Draconequus mumbled, snuggling up to her. He was obviously still fast asleep.
She hesitated. It felt cruel to disturb him but she couldn't just lie here forever. What if he didn't wake up for hours? She tried again "Discord? Wake up!" She hissed.
Slowly, he drew his head back until they were face to face. Then his eyes slammed wide open in shock, staring into hers.
"Fluttershy?!"
Neither of them moved for several minutes.
"Soooo…" He said finally "I can't help noticing that we're… you know… "
She gulped "In bed together?"
"Yes, quite so." He said with a worried grin "Goodness me! How can this have happened? Do you remember? Because I can't remember a thing."
"No Discord, I can't remember either. Oh, we must have had so much to drink last night!"
"Oh yes, cocktails… Las Pegasus," He said "I suppose that explains how we come to find ourselves in this – ahem – position. And how are you feeling, not feeling sick or anything?"
"Fine, I think."
"Because apparently it's common to feel very sick the morning after. That is, the morning after a night of heavy drinking!" He amended hastily "Is what I meant. Obviously!" He flashed her that worried smile again.
"I have a slight headache but otherwise I feel ok… I mean fine. I mean… good!"
"Oh good!"
They lay for several more minutes staring into each other's eyes, both too flabbergasted to move. Discord was slightly concerned to find the pink mist descending on him once again "Must be the hangover!" He thought.
She sighed "Well…" She said uncertainly "I guess at some point we should get up and …uh…" She tailed off. What had she been going to say? She couldn't even remember. Somehow she was finding it very difficult to string thoughts together at this precise moment.
"Oh, yes. Of course Flitterflutter."
He finally released her and sat up.
She heard his hiss of indrawn breath and turned to see him whisk his eagle claw behind his back "What is it?" She asked.
"Oh, nothing! Nothing at all!"
"Discord – "
"I swear it's absolutely nothing you need worry about!"
"Discord, just tell me what's wrong." She said patiently.
"Promise not to overreact?"
"I promise."
He stretched his eagle claw out towards her. She didn't realise what he was doing for a moment until she suddenly noticed something glinting on one of his talons.
It was a gold ring.
She reached out to take hold of his claw to inspect it and as she did so something fell forward from under the bedclothes. It was another ring on a chain around her neck. This one held a large and very sparkly diamond.
She stared at both rings for a moment and then back up at him "But…" She felt like her brain was playing catch up, the alcohol was still muddying her thought processes "But what does this mean?"
"Well," He said "I'm no expert in these matters but I'd say it looks like we got spliced; tied the knot; took the plunge – "
She frowned "We got … married?"
"I mean let's not jump to conclusions, but you're wearing a ring and so am I and we woke up in bed together this morning!"
"But how? Where? When!?"
"How do you expect me to know?"
"Because you were there!"
"Well so were you!"
He sighed and glanced about, then lifted a piece of paper off the nightstand, holding it between his claws as if it might bite him "Oh look, here's our certificate. How very… binding."
"So what happens now?"
"We could get it framed?"
She gave him a look.
"Oh, haha! You mean about everything else. Well I'd say congratulations are in order my dear, you've just snagged the most eligible bachelor in Equestria! Aren't you the lucky mare? And judging by the enormous rock around your neck I'd say I'm turning out to be a pretty generous husband already, wouldn't you agree?"
She sighed, knowing he always talked like this when he was agitated.
"Discord it's ok," She said "Whatever happened I'm sure we can figure it out together." She looked around thoughtfully "Your room; was it like this before – I mean, before you went out yesterday evening?"
"No," He looked around "I think we can safely assume I did this after we got back."
Despite everything she smiled "You did all this for me?"
"I suppose I must have done," He gave her a hesitant smile in return, calmer now that he could see she was neither sobbing nor angry "Do you… like it?"
"It's lovely."
He looked genuinely pleased at that. Then he suddenly gripped her hooves, uncharacteristically earnest "Oh Fluttershy can you ever forgive me?"
"Well I'm not sure that you've actually done anything wrong," She teased him.
He grinned, quickly back to his old self "Oh I don't know about that," He said "I think the waterfall is a trifle ostentatious! Judging by that and the gigantic sparkler, I'd say drunk me obviously isn't very subtle."
She laughed "I think I can forgive you!"
"And besides," He said, letting go of her hooves and beginning to pace more slowly "Just because we woke up in bed together, doesn't mean anything happened – "
She sat up in bed and pulled back the chequered silk sheets, then her eyes widened "Discord –"
"We were both completely inebriated – "
"Discord?"
" – and it was probably very late – "
"Discord!"
" – so we can't know for certain we actually – oh, I'm sorry my dear, you were saying?" As he turned to face her, his eyes bugged and his mouth fell open, for once utterly speechless.
Now she had thrown the sheet off, he could see what she was wearing underneath.
It was skimpy and also tight. It was lacy and sequin-y as well. There were feathers, lots of feathers. There were pearls. There were gemstones. There was a definite basque-y feel to it.
The whole confection was a sparkling, shimmering white.
Finally he managed to say "Did I do that?"
She flushed "Well, it isn't mine!"
"I take it all back," He croaked "Drunk me is a genius!"