Leaving

I sat in the waiting area with my legs tucked against my chest and my arms wrapping me in a tight ball. People were looking but I paid them no mind. Nothing meant anything anymore. The only thing that actually had meaning was keeping my thoughts from Edward.

Flight 190 Volterra, Italy to New York, New York, now boarding.

"Julia…" Edward said touching my shoulder causing me to jump.

"Sorry." I mumbled as I unwounded myself and picked up my bag, then proceeded to follow him to the plane. He could tell I was holding something back from him, but he didn't mention anything.

I wished I could have let him hear me. All the thoughts passing through my mind were making it very hard to keep the thoughts from entering his mind and even one slip would be to much. One thought escaping, would mean all the thoughts being known. How I couldn't tell if I was a monster. If I was the wrong one in the world. If what we were doing was the opposite of what we were supposed to do in the world and if that made us the bad ones. We shouldn't go against nature, wouldn't that make us evil. Was that really the only way we could be, or was this life we were leading not sustainable. Would we be this way forever, eighty years meant nothing now, three hundred years meant nothing, we were going to drink human in the end, even though we had such resistance. I knew that Emmett had eaten human before, and Alice and Jasper, but they had all changed. We were what we were, but that didn't mean we couldn't change and become one of them.

At this point, I didn't even understand my own thoughts and we were on the plane. Edward wasn't looking at me, wasn't trying to hear me, giving me the privacy he could tell I needed. But even though he wasn't trying to hear me, didn't mean the second I let my thoughts be unlocked he wouldn't be able to hear them.

I decided I would leave before the flight to Seattle arrived. Even though I couldn't stand myself for it, I knew I had to leave. There was no way around it, and I was going to make every second I had left with him mean something.

You don't have to leave, the voice in my head called out.

Yes, I do. My answer was meaning less. I was going to argue with myself with this choice until the action was completed. The voice kept talking back, saying that I wasn't a monster, and part of me knew I wasn't, but there was still that one part screaming at me that I had to get away and get away fast. That if I didn't get away then it would hurt what I cared about most.

It would hurt Edward.

Our plane arrived in New York at nine and our flight to Forks left at 11:30. To kill time Edward and I wandered around Times Square for awhile. I didn't think about what was coming, all my focus was about enjoying the time I had left with Edward, and not letting him see what was coming.

We went to Central Park then to Rockefeller Center. We laced up and got out on the ice. Our gracefulness stood out more than the others, so we had to tone it down. We were near the center or the rink when I heard them.

"It's a shame we had to lose them." Aro commented sighing.

Marcus shrugged not caring what so ever on our short trip.

"I don't see why you are so upset about it. They weren't that special." Caius barked.

"Do you not realize how great they would be for us?" Aro question.

"They are just vampires."

People stared a my non-moving body in the center of the ice and moved around me, except Edward. He'd heard everything.

Everything.

I swallowed dryly. He'd heard everything that I had been so keen on keeping to myself.

"You can hear them, can't you?" he whispered.

He ignored the other situation. "Yes." I mumbled. I'd hurt him. Something that I was trying to prevent.

His hand lightly rested on my shoulder. "Lets go." he whispered. His hand wrapped around mine and slowly, he pulled me off the ice.

Soon we were walking the streets and once we got to an empty street, we both knew what was coming. Edward stopped behind me as I continued forward. Then I stopped. I wouldn't turn around though, I could turn around. I was afraid to turn around. Afraid to see his face and have all my decisions turned around.

"You're leaving." he said the would be question if I hadn't had my thoughts unlocked.

"Yeah." my voice cracked, something that it never did.

"Why? It's not like you want to. I can see that clear as day on your face, I don't even have to read your thoughts."

"I really couldn't careless what you can see Edward." I said with force, trying to make him mad. If he were mad I had an excuse to leave.

"You aren't going to pin this on me." he said bluntly.

"Aren't I?" I whispered.

He paused for a minute. "I didn't want us to go. But I didn't tell you. It's my fault. I should have said no to begin with."

I smiled again. This was what I needed. A way out.

"We aren't right for each other, Edward. I'm sorry." I smiled.

"That's what you think."

No. My resolve switched that instant and everything in my head started to scream stay, stay. But I couldn't listen…

I had to leave.

"You'll find something better. There's always something better." I added.

"But will you?" I could hear the smirk on his face.

I giggled some.

A snow flake fell to the ground. One single snowflake. It's distinct features stood out on the pavement, then it faded away and my resolve returned.

"Edward, I'm like a snowflake." I laughed.

"What?" he chuckled at my comparison.

"I'm like a snowflake. I'm practically white, with my hair and my pale body. I follow the wind and when I land, I disappear." I showed him the comparison as another snowflake fell and disappeared.

"You are going to disappear from my life?" he questioned.

"No!" I said in a rush. I couldn't allow myself to disappear. I wasn't stupid. "I'll always be able to hear you. And if you are ever in trouble are need assistance I'll come running as fast as I can."

"What if you are across the country?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Then I'll get a private jet. Or a super fast car, maybe a Ferrari." I said in my silk voice.

"Okay." he looked down.

"I'm sorry Edward."

And then I was gone.

Running as fast as I could in the other direction.

Not knowing where it would take me or where I would stop.

Or what I would find out at the end of my journey.

Okay so I'm over my BF's house and the new tradition, I must always do a new Chapter over her house."
The Epilogue is next. Then new story. I'm trying to decide whether to put the new book with this, or start a new story.
Maybe Ill just do both. lol

So yeah. This is basically it.

Cry. You know you want to. Read and Review Make me smile so I can write more

10 MORE DAYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS