Chapter 5: Leaving

Blair's POV

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one

"Blair!" Alice bounces towards me when I land back in the apartment, "I knew you'd come back." She surprises me by wrapping her arms around me. I return the hug; it feels good to be wanted.

"Blair, I am glad you chose to stay with us," Carlisle makes his way to me and places a hand on my shoulder, "We will get you through this."

I nod and force a smile.

"So what's the plan?" Jasper asks.

"Emmett, Rosalie and Esme will meet us Canada; from there we will leave for London. It is too dangerous for us to fly out from here while Blair's disappearance is so recent," Carlisle smiles at me.

Edward comes through the window, landing so close to me that our arms touch. I suddenly feel smothered by his presence, and need to get away from him. Attempting to be subtle, I move towards the other side of the room. I can feel Edward's eyes burn into me as I do so, but I don't care. I feel better having put a space between us.

"Carlisle," Edward states, "I need to talk to you."

I look up at Edward who has not taken his eyes off me. Yeesh, I think, stalk much? I quickly stop myself, realising that I will be confronted with another cold stare from Edward. But he makes no such face.

"Of course," Carlisle nods, "Just wait until we work out arrangements for getting to Canada, Blair still needs to hunt, and I think this should be organised sooner rather than later."

I admit the idea of being stuck in a car for a period of time seems rather unappealing. I feel restless, tight in my skin. I'm suddenly aware of the boundless energy I have boiled up and feel the need to run. I briefly wonder how opposed the Cullens would be to me running to Brooklyn and snacking on a Little J. Again I realise I've stepped over a line, and wait for a snap from Edward. Again, Edward makes no response to them.

What? I think No judgments over my personal thoughts?

Edward doesn't react.

Edward?

Nothing.

"You can't hear me?" I say out loud suddenly.

Jasper and Alice, who having been planning our route to Canada look at Edward, as does Carlisle. Edward continues to stare at me.

"It's true," he whispers, still holding my gaze, "When I reached her on the roof, I could no longer hear her."

Everyone stays silent, looking from Edward to me.

"Yes," Edward snaps suddenly, turning to Alice, "just like her."

I know very little about Edward. I do know there has been a great love and an even bigger loss. Something we both share. I know better than to ask. For someone who can intrude on the minds of other, Edward is extremely private. I feel relieved that Edward can't hear my thoughts and not caring that it seems to remind him of his lost love.

"Well," Carlisle says, "All I can think of right now is that Blair's been through a lot in the past week. Her mind is perhaps guarded and therefore harder to read."

"Maybe you're losing your touch?" I suggest, "Don't have it in you anymore? Getting old?"

Edward shoots a nasty look at me and I laugh. Alice joins in. Carlisle and Jasper smirk slightly. Edward is unamused.

"Don't get smart Blair, you've got a lot to learn still, starting with the hunt," Edward mutters, "I'll take her hunting, we'll meet you up with you in Canada?" Edward suggests.

Carlisle agrees, "I think that would be best. You'll be able to keep up with her. I think it will do you both some good to hunt."

Edward turns to me a wicked smile on his face, perhaps the first smile I've seen on him, "You ready for this?"

"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."

Its days later and I've just hunted my second kill. A mountain lion. I lay on the ground, the beast still on top of me. Its eye is still open and it is staring back at me. I feel bad for it in a way, which surprises me. A few days ago I had no issue destroying a human beings life, but now taking a wild animal's life plaques my conscious.

Edward rips the beast off me, and helps me to my feet, "you kill your own kind," he states.

I frown at him, "What?"

"I just can't help but notice you move like a cat. Gracefully, intentionally with your eyes on your prey. Then silently you strike, with such precision and deliberation that you never miss," he smiles, "it's beautiful in its own sinful way."

I stare at Edward, confused. I have never met someone more irritating. He acted like I was some burden for him to carry but yet he volunteered to take me hunting. The last two days have been full of him making comments like this, acting as if I chose to be a vampire and therefore should be punished and shamed.

"Can we just get to Canada?" I ask, fed up with his mood.

He pauses then frowns, "Blair.." he begins and then stops himself.

"I just want to get to the others," I mutter, "It's my fault they had to move,"

"No, that was my fault," Edward whispers, shaking his head.

"What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Edward states, fixing me with a cold stare.

"Why did you volunteer to take me hunting?" I ask, desperate, "You don't like having me around; you don't like me joining the family. You act like I imposed myself into your little clan, but you forget, they changed me."

"I know," Edward states, his eyes still cold.

I wait for him to say something more, give me some explanation, but I get nothing. Fed up, I turn and continue running in the direction we were going. I can hear Edward, his on my heels.

"Blair," he calls.

I keep running, faster and faster but Edward stays behind me. Suddenly I feel his cold fingers grab my wrist and I am tripped up but his sudden hold on me. I fall to the ground and he lands on top on me. Anger surges through me and I push him off, his body is crashed against a tree with such force that the tree breaks. I pause, wondering if his ok. Edward takes this opportunity to lunge back at me knocking me back to the ground with him firmly on top of me. His hands pinning my harms to either side of my body.

"What?" I scream, my voice carrying through the woods, "just tell me what to do and I'll do it."

He lets go of my arms and sits up, "I'm sorry," he whispers, he falls off me and sits beside me, I stay lying down "your addition to our family, it's come at a bad time for me."

His face is contorted in so much pain, that for the first time I feel sorry for him. It's a pain I can relate to.

"I didn't want to be here," I whisper, "I'd give anything to be back with my family."

"I know," he states, "We took them from you."

"No, the drunken truck driver took them from me. But I'd isolated them before that," I whispered.

Edward meets my gaze, "Which one?"

I look away, I know what he is talking about, "I wanted it to be Nate," I whisper.

"Why?"

"Because that's what everyone expected it to be," I say admitting it for the first time to myself, "but it wasn't him. I didn't even realise until it was too late. Nate, my friends, Serena... none of that mattered as much as when Chuck told me that I didn't have him. He loved me, so much. In his own sick way, he loved me. And I loved him, but I didn't know. I didn't know until it was too late."

Edward lies down next to me, meeting my gaze, "I saw images of you in their minds," he says referring to my friends.

I smile, "and?"

"You look more human now, than you did in their memories."