CHAPTER 11:

CLINTON AND THE HOE (SING TITLE TO "BEAUTY AND THE BEAST)

Orihime walked merrily to room 318. Kurosaki-kun would finally be hers. Kurosaki-kun will be soooo surprised to see me! I can't wait to see his face!!! Orihime thought as she knocked on the door.

Ichigo and Rukia immediately tightened up as they heard the door knock. "Hide..." Ichigo told Rukia as he threw on his clothes and hid Rukia's. "Just a minute!" he called, straightening up.

"Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime asked on the other side of the door. What was going on in there? He must be getting ready to see me... He is such a sweet guy... Orihime said happily to herself as she straightened her hair. "Perfect," she muttered, slathering on a bunch of lipstick that made her look like a... BIG HOE!!!

Ichigo opened the door to see a BIG HOE!!! His eyes widened. To Orihime, it was if he couldn't stand to see her awesomeness. "Hoeihime..." he muttered, forgetting what he was saying. When those words came out of his mouth, he hand clamped over his mouth.

"What did you say?" Orihime asked, not knowing that she looked like a BIG HOE!!! Maybe she did, maybe she didn't care. Why didn't he care? Didn't she look amazing? She obviously did.

"S-sorry! You just look a little... different. Scratch my previous statement... you look a LOT different!" Ichigo said. (I don't know why he would say that, maybe because it's because Orihime's a BIG HOE!!!

"Are you trying to get somewhere, Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime asked.

"YES!!! YOU ARE A BIG HOE!!! I'm sorry, but, I just can't look at you anymore..." Ichigo said, slamming the door.

"Are you with Kuchiki-san?! I know you are!!! You'd love me if it wasn't for her! I know you would! There is no way that you can reject me!!! I don't need you! But, I'm telling you now, I'm not finished here!!! You will regret this, Ichigo Kurosaki! I'm telling you, I will have my revenge! That's right, Hoeihime...er... Orihime OUT!!!" Orihime called as she stomped off.

"Now where were we?" Ichigo asked Rukia as he went under the covers...

In the lobby...

"That no good... Rukia-loving... butt munch... son of a.. OMG!!! Is that Bill Clinton!? BILL CLINTON!!! I LOVE YOU!!! MAY I PLEASE HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH!!! I'LL BE YOUR NEW HILLARY!!!" Orihime said as she was yelling and screaming her head off.

"HA!!! Now you know how I feel..." Tosen said, just as he was attacked by a pack of girls.

"Orihime Inoue... I like your lipstick. Although, I think you could use just a tad bit more... That is a perfect color on you. I'll gladly make you Hillary..." "Bill Clinton" said as he looked at Orihime. Her heart almost melted.

"You... look familiar..." Orihime's voice trailed off as she looked... into his... chocolate... brown eyes... CRAP!!! AM I TRAILING OFF, TOO?! *slaps hand* BAD LITTLE SISTER OF "THE EMO ALCHEMIST!"

"Sadly... I'm not Bill Clinton... I am... Sosuke Aizen," Aizen said as he gave her a smile that was evil, yet made someone want to pass out at the cuteness.

"That's okay, too. Do you think that I look like a hoe?" Orihime asked.

"Not at all, Princess," Aizen said, giving her a tight embrace, stroking her long hair.

"Much better than Kurosaki-kun," Orihime said to herself as she put her arms around him...

Ooh... Hoeihime went to the bad side. No offense to those who enjoy OriIchi. Please do not leave bad comments.

Inspiration: Boondocks: Guess Hoe's Coming To Dinner?

Comment left by Miss Samurai

Yes, this was a very romantic chapter. I'll try to be more cracky next time. I really like how this story is coming along. If you have a suggestion for a chapter, feel free to leave comments.

Who will the next couple be? Where is George Bush in all this chaos? Does Rangiku still like waffles? Find out on the next chapter of "Vacation: All I NEVER Wanted."