"Why the heck are you awake? Aren't you guys tired from the MBC stage last night?!" I ask BamBam, who called early in the morning to my surprise. It's 7AM and I am running on a treadmill, trying to get in shape on the first day of 2016.

"We are, but we haven't seen you for so long so we wanted to do a New Year's Day party at your place tonight!" He says. I can tell that last night's year-ender performance and afterparty roughened his voice. GOT7 had a pretty hectic December so we never got to hang out again after their house visit. The last time I got to see them was when Mina and I watched their KBS Gayo Daechukjae stage performance.

"Okay, well, who else is coming along then?" I answer as I frantically push the buttons of the treadmill to change my pace. I feel compelled to stop working out and start preparing because when BamBam says party, he means it.

"We're still asking around but I think Amber wants to go," I continue to slow down on the treadmill while BamBam rambles on and on about a growing guest list that might not even fit my apartment.

"Oh my god, wait, wait hold on." I press another button and the machine stops completely. "I don't can't fit all of you," I stammer, panting heavily as I step off the treadmill.

"Woah, wait what are you—"

"Oh shit—" I blurt out. My leg is starting to cramp. "Oww, fuck!" I sit on the floor of the gym. moaning in pain. A male instructor comes up to me to ask if I'm okay and I nod, waving him off.

"Wait, are you with someone? Should I hang up?!" BamBam asks, suddenly alert.

"What?! What are you talking about? I am not with anybody, I just got off the treadmill and my leg is cramping."

"Oooohhh, okay," He says, chuckling over my predicament. "Well then stop breathing in my ear, you're giving me really dirty thoughts right now!" I can hear someone asking questions in the background—probably his roommate Jackson.

"How the heck am I supposed to do that?!" I ask, laughing along as I flex my calf muscles. If BamBam could see me now he'd probably laugh harder because I can feel my face flush at thought of him getting turned on by my erratic breathing.

"Wait, let's switch to FaceTime. Bye!" He does not even wait for my response. He ends the phone call and follows it up with a FaceTime call. I answer despite my sweaty, no-makeup exterior and BamBam comes up on the screen, still in bed, his mop of brown hair a mess.

"Are you happy now? I told you I'm not with anybody," I say, trying to breathe normally.

"Oh you really are working out!" BamBam smiles and waves at me through the screen.

"Why, what did you think I was doing?" I ask, stretching my leg gently, hoping the pain subsides.

"I thought you were having sex, you were moaning in my ear!"

"Oh my god, isn't it too early for that?!" I hear Jackson's voice and crack up instantly. Bam finally gets up and pulls Jackson beside him. "Annyeong! [Hello!] Oh, you look really sexy right now!" He adds.

"No I'm not, I'm a mess!" I shoot back, mopping the sweat off my face and body with a terry cloth towel. My bangs are sticking to my forehead and my bun is coming undone. Slowly, I start getting up again, testing my leg.

"Yes you are, you're a hot mess," Jackson says. I respond by vigorously shaking my head.

"Noona, I have a request," BamBam says, clearing his scratchy throat. I raise one eyebrow at him as I walk towards the gym's floor-to-ceiling mirrors near the shower rooms. "Can you please let your hair down?" He asks, his eyes focusing on me. I follow his command wordlessly, pulling the tie securing my bun. My light brown hair falls down to my chest in waves, covering the skin of my shoulder exposed by my lopsided zipped-up hoodie. I decide to fix it by opening the jacket all the way, revealing my pink sports bra and my bare abs. I've gotten very little progress at getting back to my old shape. My abs are not as toned as it was back in college, when my life revolved around studying, swimming, and working part-time. I guess that's just what a 9-hour workday does to you.

"Now switch to the back camera!" BamBam orders. I tap the icon on the screen. "Jackson look at my makeover!" I see Jackson gaping like a fish out of water upon seeing my full image on the mirror.

"Oh my god! See that's what I mean by sexy. Are those abs? You have abs?!" Jackson comments, his eyes wide. There's chaos on the other end of the line because Jackson wants to see me more but BamBam wants to get a screenshot. Meanwhile, I'm busy laughing at them and realizing belatedly that I have never told them I used to be an athlete.

"Okay, stop, I really need to go and take a shower now." I ask BamBam to text me the final head count before hanging up.

*Flashback*

For the first time in three years, I decided to forgo my yearly trip back home and spend my holidays in Korea. My mom wasn't too thrilled but my dad was over the moon at the idea of me cooking kimchi jjigae with my grandmother in her massive kitchen.

After covering our charity event with GOT7, I went home to pack my things and board a train going to Busan without telling anyone but my boss, Mina, and Jenny. I spent the day before Christmas with my Nana Kyung and my cousins in Suyeong-gu. At dinner they started asking me if my hair and my eyes really were naturally light brown while exclaiming "Yeppuneye!" [So pretty!] over and over again. I answered by saying "Ne, kamsahamnida!" [Yes, thank you!]

It sent my female cousins—who I never spoke with for years because I didn't understand Korean back then—into a temporary state of shock. I still don't know if they balked because of my Seoul dialect or my bold acceptance of their adorable satoori compliments. Nana Kyung just laughed it off and kept petting my head like a puppy while the servants milled around with an unending supply of food.

Nana Kyung loves to cook and though she's old (she's nearing her 87th birthday), her kitchen work is so graceful that I almost failed to remember how she did her jjigae because I was watching her with great fascination. I sent my dad a selfie of me and Nana on the eve of Christmas and Hope said he cried.

The next morning, Jihoo, who my Nana Kyung introduced as my second cousin, took me to Gwanggalli Beach so I can walk around and grab breakfast before heading back to Seoul. Thankfully, he knows how to speak English because he's taking up literature in Kyungsung University. "So, what are your plans in Seoul when you get back?" He asked, his pronunciation clear and crisp.

"I actually have no idea," I said while munching on my toast. "I guess I have two and a half hours of commute to think about that."

"Oh, you should go ice skating or watch KBS Music Bank live! I'd love to see the special stages." Turns out, Jihoo is a huge SM Entertainment fan so when he found out I work at JYPE, and that I've met Amber, he freaked out. "Amber is like, my ultimate bias. I wanted to learn English because of her!"

"Oh she's very nice, and very pretty! I'll show you a picture but you have to promise not to tell anybody about it, okay?" He nodded enthusiastically. I showed him the group photo I took the first time we met and told him everything that happened that night in Gangnam. He was slack-jawed, and I was overjoyed because I finally found someone to talk to about it other than Mina and Liv.

"So are you and BamBam dating now?" He asked when he saw our numerous selfies on my gallery.

"Oh my god, no, absolutely not!" I said, almost choking on my toast.

"Why do you have so many pictures together then?"

"Because he likes taking selfies. He's too young for me, Jihoo, I'll never date someone that young."

"I would date Amber, though!" He said, addressing the fact that he's only as old as BamBam and Yugyeom. He then made me promise to ask Amber if she's willing to date a younger guy.

Our breakfast turned into lunch and by the time we parted at the train station, we've managed to get each other's numbers and SNS so we could talk some more. I have never been so thankful for the gift of family in my life.

I spent Christmas night dressing up in my fanciest white fur coat and white designer dress just to end up eating alone at Hyatt and ice skating along with the families and couples on the frozen lake outside the hotel. Everything felt so serene, and the snow made it all the more special. Not once did I feel lonely in Seoul that night. For the first time in a very long time I felt genuinely peaceful. I have come to remember why I fell in love with the city despite all the hardships I had to go through while building my life around the deepening roots I never thought I'd discover.

*Flashforward*

By 7PM my kitchen is looking more and more like a buffet counter of all the comfort food I can think of. I made mac and cheese from scratch, as well as nachos, and grilled cheese sandwiches. I also didn't forget BamBam's beloved buffalo chicken wings, and Jackson's favorite garlic parmesan chicken wings. Mark's pepperoni pizza came just in time and my popcorn maker is ready to go.

I have soju, wine, and beer in my fridge, and red plastic cups stacked conveniently by the sink beside a cooler filled with ice. The dining table is set for six people though I'm not exactly sure who's coming. My living room is looking bright because of the fairy lights on the Christmas tree that's standing in the corner of the room, beside the brand new gold and rose quartz curtains I've put up. I have metallic gold balloons that spell Happy New Year on the railings of my metal staircase.

I Skype my mom to show her my party prep work. "Wow honey, you've done a great job! How many people are coming to your party?"

"Well I'm not really sure. I think my friends invited, like, 5 or 6 people—"

"Boo! That's ridiculous, that is NOT a party!" My brother Hope interrupts, peeking over mom's shoulder. "Come home so I can show you what a real party's like. I have friends from Perth who are single as fuck and are dying to meet you!"

"Hope, will get your filthy mouth away from here please?" My mom orders and he grumbles away from my mom and her iPad. "Now, Lovey, remember to make sure your guests get to eat before drinking. Absolutely no drugs please," I roll my eyes at my mom and before I could protest about her plea to her introverted, prude daughter, I suddenly get a calendar reminder from her.

"That's so you don't forget your dad's business trip in Daegu. He'll fly in directly from Hong Kong so make sure you pick him up at the airport, araso?" [Understand?] I can't help but admire her planning skills. It's what makes her one of the most efficient businesswomen I know.

"Arasoyo! Saranghae, Omma!" [I understand! I love you, Mom!] I wave at her with a wide smile before ending the call. At 8:30PM the doorbell starts to ring.