Blackstairs Fanfiction C2.
Cristina knew that Emma and Mark together was fake. Emma had told her the first day. But Julian didn't know that.
She looked down at him now, his lashes twitching as they did when you had a dream. His lips had formed a tight line, as they did when you had a nightmare. As from a distance, she heard him gasp and whisper Emma's name. His hands were scratching at the sheets, arching his back.
"MARK?" she shrieked. A noise came from Julian, deep in his throat. It sounded like a groan and a scream mixed together. "MARK! COME IN HERE NOW!" Mark rushed in, his footsteps trailed by two Silent Brothers. Both of them stood at the door.
"Cristina, what's going on?" He came to stand next to her, staring at Julian at concern. Absently, he put his hand on her lower back. She gasped, before realized what she had done. She went a deep red. Embarrassed, Mark took his hand away looking at Julian instead of her. Before he turned though, she noticed red creeping up his neck. She sighed lightly before averting her concentration back to Julian.
The Silent Brothers quickly examined him. Once they had finally decided what was wrong, Cristina called for Emma was in her bedroom, a few rooms away. When she finally opened the door, her face was tear stained with puffy eye-bags. Her hair was still in the braid she wore at breakfast, only now many strands of blonde escaped their prison.
"They're about to explain what's happened to Jules. Okay?" Cristina grabbed Emma's hand and pulled her to Julian's room.
We're ready to explain the problem. Is everyone here? One of the Brothers asked. Mark nodded in response. It's seems that the young Shadowhunter is going through emotional trauma. Emma shifted uncomfortably next to her. He needs to figure out his own way of recovering from the pain. Cristina sighed sadly, knowing this was going to be hard for him.
"Do you know the cause for the emotional trauma?" Emma asked.
Both Brothers looked at her then. She knew that Emma felt very uncomfortable under their gaze. It didn't seem of import to us Brothers, but if you would like to know we can found out. You are his parabatai. They both looked at her as they spoke those words. Did the Brothers just mock her?
Emma jumped up then, knocking Mark's hand that was on her shoulder away. "NO, I mean No-no thank you, though." Emma said loudly. She was very nervous.
It seems that if we wanted to, we would have to dig deeper in his mind. He has hidden the reason very well. All three of the young Shadowhunters gasped at what the Silent Brothers had told them. It seems that, Julian Blackthorn, is very good at lying and hiding. All three of them nodded in response.
The Silent Brothers headed to the door, pausing without looking at them. Remember to let the young Blackthorn rest and figure out his own demons. At that they turned to Emma directly even though all Silent Brothers were blind. Julian Blackthorn is a master. He is a master of lying and hiding. They walked out the door and closed it. Remember that.
Emma fell to the floor, her face in her hands. It was like a water tap turned on, the tears falling from the sides of her hands. Cristina fell next to her and pulled the other girl into her chest. Mark had left the room, closing the door behind him.
They say sat together for hours, one girl crying for her soul while the other anchored her to the world.
Julian was on the beach looking for Emma. He found her drowning, Cortana in her hand. He dived in, swimming towards her and felt her gear jacket.
He dragged her to the part of the beach that was hidden by ocean rocks, and placed her to the sand.
He was kissing her. "Emma," he murmured against her lips, not taking his mouth away from hers. They were clasped together, wet and cold and hot and burning all at once. He leaned into her, kissing her harder, feverishly, his hands burying themselves in the thickness of her wet hair. The weight of him bore her down onto the sand.
Before she could take off his top, something started sizzling. He looked down and saw Emma's skin boiling and cooking. She was screaming in pain, trying to claw her clothes off.
He stared in horror as smoke came off her skin. "EMMA! EMMA! NO, NO, NO!" he screamed. He grabbed her holding under her knees and head, and ran to the ocean.
"No!" she cried, the tears evaporating on her skin. He placed her in the water hoping it to stop. He was crying too, horrified at what was happening.
She howled in agony, her eyes representing glass. "EMMA, NO! PLEASE!" he cried as she turned to ash in the water, mixing in with the rest of water.
Julian put is face in his hands and started crying uncontrollably.
"Emma, Emma. Oh Emma." he whispered as he cried.
"MARK?" What was Mark doing here? He looked around but he wasn't there. "MARK! COME IN HERE NOW!" Wasn't that Cristina's voice? He turned to look around again. Instead, all he saw was darkness.
Julian woke up with a gasp.
It wasn't real. It was just a dream.
He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Emma?" he croaked. Finally he saw her in the armchair next to his bed. She was sleeping, her head resting on the palm of her hand. Relief washed over him at the sight of her. She's safe. He watched her sleeping, the harsh lines smoothed down in her dreamless sleep. God, she was beautiful.
"Emma?" he said, louder this time. She stirred, her head fell off her hand. Her eyes, opened wide before they filled themselves with tears. She almost jumped on to him when she went to hug him. She hugged his stomach as she cried, soaking his shirt. He attempted a laugh which only turned into a fit of coughs. At some point, Emma got off him, her face a mask of horror. She ran to the bathroom, grabbed a glass, filled it and brought it to him. He mumbled a thanks before drinking the whole glass. This seized his coughing, but it made him feel weak.
"Em, can I have my stele?" he asked. She passed over the stele, her fingers brushed the inside of his wrist. He shuddered violently, dropping his stele. He rubbed his face with hands, guarding the red that was now on his face. He wanted her so badly. As he reached to grab his stele from the floor, he felt her breath against his naked neck. It sent shivers down his back. He stayed fixed in that position, afraid he would betray himself and do something she would regret.
After a minute or two, Julian sat back up and drew an iratze on his forearm. The throbbing pain in his head subsided, his arms and legs strengthened and brought back all colour to his face. He had already made his decision. He got up from his bed and opened the door.
"I want you to leave," he said. She got up from the seat, and walked to him. She took his wrist and turned it over.
She stared at him angrily. "You want me to leave?" she stuttered. She closed the door and returned her gaze to him. He tried swallowing his nervousness. It felt like swallowing glass shards. "Do you want me to leave or do you need me to leave?" she asked.
He looked up to her then. A blaze of fury and anger hit him, losing him in his words. "Does it matter?" he spat. She took a step back, her hand moving to her other hand as if he had burnt her. He had put pure bitterness and fury into those three words. Hurt flashed across her face before she covered it up.
"I-I wanted to talk," she whispered. He kept staring at her, not saying a word. "Please." She begged. No, this will not happen. Hurt her as much as you need to. He opened the door again.
"I need you to leave," he replayed. He grabbed her wrist and turned it over. "Now."
"No."
He braced the door. "Now."
She looked at him with stubborn eyes. "I'm not leaving, Jules." she said absently. Or maybe not.
Julian gritted his teeth, sucking in air. He closed his eyes and let it all out. "GET OUT OF MY GOD DAMN ROOM, EMMA," He opened the door wider as she drew further away from him. This time, hut and surprise stayed on her flawless face. She was shaking her head as if rid his voice. He screamed at her, shouted at her, yelled at her. "YOU'RE A STUPID GIRL, EMMA. LEAVE MY ROOM AND NEVER COME BACK." Tears started falling silently down her face. She backed further away, until she was outside the room. With a frustrated groan, Julian slammed the door. Right in Emma's face.
He slid down his door and started crying. Crying for what he's lost, crying for what they lost and crying for the friendship they used to have.
She slid down Julian's door and started crying. Crying for what she's lost, crying for what they lost and crying for the friendship they used to have.
Once Julian stopped crying, he got up and went to his cupboard.
You need to let go. Now.
He opened the door and went to the first drawer. At the back of all the fabric, he found what he looking for. A small, rectangular black packet. He grabbed it and a jacket, leaving to go to the kitchen.
Hoping no one was there, he went and took a water bottle and filled it up with a clear spirit before closing the lid. He hadn't realised someone else was in the kitchen as well. He turned around and found Ty staring at him.
"Oh hey Ty, I'm going to the beach to see the sun set, OK?" he told Ty.
Ty stared at the packet in his hand. "What's that?" he asked.
Julian tried to mask his surprise. "Oh, it's n-nothing. Don't worry." He went over and ruffled his little brother's hair.
"Jules, it doesn't look right. Maybe I should tell Emma-." he started to turn towards the door.
Julian jumped in front of him. "NO. No, don't tell Emma anything. Understand?" he asked. "It's nothing anyway, I told you." He watched as Ty walk out and run to his room.
He needed to go, now.
All Emma heard was rapid knocking on her door. Emma groaned and tried to block out the noise with a pillow.
"Emma, its Livvy. Look, we need you. Somethings wrong with Julian." At Julian's name, she winced. She left his door not long ago.
"Not now, Liv." she projected through her pillow.
"Please, Emma. Ty just walked in on Julian in the kitchen and saw he was holding a small, black packet. Ty thinks it clove cigarettes. Oh please, Emma!" Livvy begged. Emma shot upright. Julian can't go back to his old habit. No, this won't be happening.
"Did Ty tell you where he's going?" she asked as she changed her clothes.
"He said he's going to the beach, but he didn't say where." she finished. She knew where.
She opened the door and found Livvy wide-eyed and defeated. "Why did you ask me? Why not Cristina or Mark?" she asked.
"You know him best and besides, he won't push you away." She looked at Emma hopefully.
Emma's face fell. Without looking at Livvy, she spoke. "I'm not sure about that, Liv." She smiled sadly at the twin.
"Wait, what!?" Livvy cried out. Now her eyes were really wide.
"Nothing, go back to Ty. I'll sort this out." Emma said before she closed the door behind her and ran to the Toyota, outside. She swung herself in the driver's seat and smashed the keys in, turning the car on. She drove to the spot she knew was where he was. She was mad at him. Why he do this to himself?
She parked in the beach parking lot and ran to where it all started. It started then and she hoped it never end. She it had to stop; it's what broke her heart the most. It was bad enough when she saw every day, like her heart had shrivelled and he was the cause of it.
What would she say when she saw him. 'Hi, I know you yelled at me and made me cry like a coward, but I want you to stop smoking. Yeah, thanks for listening. Oh by the way, I love you and you make ache everywhere whenever you walk through the door.' If only it was that simple.
She sighed and walked the rest of the way, feeling both excited and nervous to see Julian again. Will his head blow up this time? Will she get angry at him?
Emma reached the rocks that hid the secret beach. She walked past them and immediately, Julian took up all her vision. It felt hard to breathe. It was hard to swallow.
There he was, sitting on the sand with a cigarette in his hand. He seemed not to realize she was here because he continued to stare at the sunset all while he breathed clove cigarette and expelled the smoke. Even from here, Emma could a piece of purple lacy underwear and Julian's belt metres away. Weird. She moved towards him until she was close enough to realise that he was on his second cigar.
She had enough. "Julian, I'm here," she said from behind him. She saw him stiffen, the cigar lingering in his mouth. "Julian, you need to stop. The twins are really worried about you." she pleaded. He continued smoking and that's when Emma ran in front of him and accidently slipped, falling in his lap. An unexpected gasp came from Julian and he turned away. His shirt was unnaturally crinkled, rising in some places. That's enough. She straddled him and put her arms around his neck. She looked down and saw his zipper was undone, his black boxers showing underneath. He started shaking under her which only made her skin feel as if it were on fire. "Please, Julian." she said, her voice husky. He was growing hard under her. Before she could stop herself, she gasped, throwing her head in the sky. At that, he looked at her. Actually looked at her. Her Julian. The hand that was at his side went around her and landed on her lower back, pulling her toward him. She bit her lower lip and contemplated what was going to happen. Oh hell with heaven. We can't stop now. He put the cigarette to his mouth and took a smoke. He closed his eyes and blew the smoke in her face. He looked like he was drunk. Maybe he was? When he opened his eyes, they were unfocused.
Julian took a deep breath before speaking. He pointed at her accusingly with his cigar hand. "You," he stared at her with lust in his eyes. "You, have broken," he tilted his to the side. "My heart." he finished.
Emma took an unnatural breath and put a palm on his chest. She left the other around his neck. "I know." she whispered.
It seemed that was all needed. He swung the hand carrying the cigarette around her neck and pulled her flush against him. Their lips crashed together and for a moment the sand beneath them disappeared and she was falling, falling to her death. At first, their kisses were slow and testing, searching each other's mouth. Then they became fast and urgent, her hands traveling up into his hair.
Julian was the first to tear away, his eyes searching her face. "I love you, so much," Julian said. If only she could say it back. He took away his arm from her neck and put the cigarette back in his mouth. Once he took it away, he didn't blow away the smoke, instead, he met her mouth with his, sharing the smoke between them. She kissed the breath out of him, out of both of them before Julian, again, pulled away. He moved the hand on her back and slid it under her shirt, touching the faint scars on her stomach. This time, he moved the cigar into Emma's mouth. She watched his face as she inhaled the smoke, trapping it until she opened his mouth against hers. They wound around each other, trying to get more. His mouth moved down from her lips, going down her jaw to her neck. Emma gripped hard into Julian's hair, trying not to show him how much he was effecting her. Finally a small shriek escaped Emma's mouth, filling Julian with satisfaction. He tore open her shirt, sliding his hands up until they slid up into her bra; on her breasts. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from crying out. He started kissing down her chest and all the way down to her belly button.
She knew she couldn't handle any more so Emma pulled away, grabbed Julian's cigar and took a final inhale. She put it against his mouth and he took his final inhale. She threw it in the ocean and looked at Julian. We need to stop. He crashed against her, sending her head back. Both hands were now under Emma's shirt grabbing at her stomach. He dropped his head, kissing the crook of her neck, going down to her collarbone. She gasped and arched herself higher, her hips meeting his. He made a noise deep in his throat and his fingers clawed at her waist. "Emma," he said with a deep, unnatural voice. Almost drunkenly, one of her hands went down into his pants and rubbed his hardness. He almost screamed in pleasure and desperation. She wanted to please him, please herself. She took her hand out only to put it in his boxers. She felt him, growing harder. She grabbed at him and started moving her hand back and forth. Julian's hand were clenching in the sand, his back arching to the sky. He was whispering something to the sky, something she couldn't hear. Her hand movements became faster and she knew he was about to come. Instead of slowing down, she decided to go faster. His whole body tensed before she felt something warm ejecting on to her hand. A high pitched moan came from his lips, while he raised up and took her hand out of his pants. He buried his head in her neck and wrapped his arms around her. She grabbed his drink bottle and smelt it. It was definitely tequila. There was only a quarter left in the black bottle. He must be really drunk.
"Emma?" Julian asked. She turned her head towards him in response. "Do you-Are you and Mark actually together?" he asked, his eyes hopeful. Don't do this to me, Jules. She knew she didn't want to hurt him, she wanted to tell the truth.
"Yes, we are together." she said quietly. She lied. She heard Julian take an unnecessary breath before he pushed her roughly off his lap. He got up and stuffed the packet in his jacket and snatched the bottle from the sand.
"Why did you do it? Why did you lead me on?" he shouted at her. She looked at his feet, then up at the sky.
Emma whispered. "It was a mistake, I'm sorry-,"
"IT WAS A MISTAKE?! Are you serious, Emma?" he interrupted. His body was tense, stock still under the now appearing stars. "YOU WERE A MISTAKE! Being with you is a mistake."
"I'm sorry-," she started. She stood up, not taking her eyes away from his face.
"No, I'm sorry," Julian said. His eyes were starting to fill with unshed tears. She wanted to kiss them away, to not be the cause of Julian's weakness. "I'm sorry, Emma. I-I just can't do this anymore. I don't want love you anymore." He said, the tears now spilling out.
Her eyes widened, her hands clenching and releasing at her sides. I didn't want this to happen. She moved closer to him and grabbed his arm. He had started swaying, probably from the alcohol. "Do you want me to take you home?" she asked. Julian nodded, went and grabbed his belt and the underwear. He fixed his jeans, putting his belt back on and started moving to the main beach.
After a moment of fixing her shirt, Emma followed him. She had remembered what the Silent Brothers said the day before. Remember to let the young Blackthorn rest and figure out his own demons. With a sigh, she caught up to Julian.
"Jules-Julian, why did you start smoking today?" Emma asked, trying to keep her voice neutral.
He looked sideways at her. "Because of you and your recklessness." he said. He was still swaying.
Finally, they reached the red Toyota. Before they got inside, Julian doubled over, and started vomiting on the sand. She quickly reached him and put a hand on his back.
"Oh, Jules. What have you done to yourself?" she said sadly. This was all her fault. Her strong parabatai, wasn't strong anymore.
He tried to wave her off which only succeeded in Julian vomiting more. He finished and got up, wiping his face with his jacket. They both got inside the car and Emma found the full water bottle she brought. She grabbed a wipe, and wiped down her hand. She passed the water over to Julian and started the engine.
They rode back to the Institute in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, instead, it was a thoughtful silence. She watched Julian from the corner of her eye, finishing her water bottle. He dropped it in the holder and threw his head.
By the time they arrived at the Institute, it was dark. Emma pulled up to the driveway and stopped the engine. She got out of the car and ran to Julian's side trying make him lean his weight on her. She closed and locked the door before dragging Julian inside.
The first thing Emma saw was: three sets of Blackthorn blue-green eyes, one grey, a set mismatched and two dark. Oh God. She smiled at them awkwardly, Julian raising his head to look at his siblings.
Livvy stepped forward. "What happened to him?" she asked. Her eyes were examining her big brother.
Emma swallowed. "Um, he's a bit drunk. He'll be better though!" she added as she saw everyone's eyes widen. "He'll be fine." She whispered, mostly to herself.
She eyed Cristina to help. She ran up to them and grabbed Julian by the other arm. Together they hauled Julian up the stairs all the way to his and dropped him on his bed. Cristina left to get food and water, realising he hadn't eaten in two days.
Emma tucked him in, putting some pillows under his back and head so he could sit upright. She went to the bathroom and brought back a dampened cloth. She carefully wiped Julian's face, cleaning away the vomit. He looked tired, his eyes blood red and his black shirt crinkled from the beach. There were smudges on his fingers from the cigarettes; Emma wiped at them as well.
"Once you finish dinner, go have a shower. You know because…" she trailed off, suddenly embarrassed. He looked at her with sad and lonely eyes.
Cristina came back in with a bowl of nacho soup and a glass of water. She set them down on his bedside table and straightened up.
"Emma, your bowl is downstairs. Come," Cristina said.
"Coming," Emma said, turning to Julian. "Goodnight, Jules." she said. His jaw set avoiding her gaze. She kissed his head before walking out with Cristina.
You can do this. Stay strong.