Once again, thank you to my betas NotAnIslander and HPFanonezillion for their help! This story is so much the better because of them!

If there's ever any good time for a black eye, it's during the month when I'm off from school. Because if I have to field one more question about what happened, I'm gonna… well, I'm not sure what I'll do, but it won't be pretty. With my entire small group, the entire workforce of the coffee shop, and seemingly the entire congregation of Mountainside Church asking about it every time they see me, it's all I can do to smile and accept their pitied questions and winces.

"I told you, I slipped and fell!" I snap at Dr. Aurelius during my weekly appointment. "My stupid fake foot slips easily! Especially in the wet weather we've been having."

He doesn't say anything for a moment, only looks at me over the top of his glasses. "If that's the case, Peeta," he finally says. "Then why are you being so defensive about it?"

I wrinkle my nose in frustration. "Because I'm sick of people asking about it! It's just a black eye! And I'm not the only guy in the history of the world to have one!"

"No, that's very true," Dr. Aurelius says. "And you're also not the first person in the history of the world to be embarrassed about it. But my question to you is, why are you so embarrassed, if it was only a simple slip and fall like you said?"

My mouth opens to retort, then closes again as a wave of shame washes over me and I look down at my sketchbook, sitting in my lap.

"Was it only a simple slip and fall?" Dr. Aurelius asks quietly.

I give an imperceptible shake of my head. "No."

"All right then. Would you like to tell me what really happened?"

Keeping my eyes on my sketchbook, I inhale shakily. "I was punched. By… by a friend of Katniss," I say with a grimace. "At her uncle's funeral. A guy from her hometown was there, and… he didn't like that she was with me. He got me pretty good once, and I slipped and fell when he tried to hit me again."

"Goodness gracious!" Dr. Aurelius exclaims. "Whyever would someone do such a thing? And at a funeral no less?"

"Well, he seems like the possessive type. He keeps asking when Katniss is moving back to her hometown."

"Mmmhmm. And what does Katniss say about all this?"

"She doesn't want to move back there. She wants to stay here. With me."

Dr. Aurelius leans forward in his chair. "Ah, I see. And you've discussed this with her, I presume?"

"Well, no," I admit quietly. "Not exactly. But I don't think we need to discuss it."

"Hmm," he says. "And why is that?"

"Because I love her, and she knows that. And I want to marry her."

"Oh yes, you've told me that before. So, when do you think you'll pop the big question?"

I lean back on the loveseat, grinning. "Sometime shortly after Easter I think. I'm already saving for her ring."

"I see," Dr. Aurelius answers. He's quiet for a moment, tapping his pen against the ever-present notepad in his lap. "Peeta, I feel I must ask you. Why do you not feel the need to discuss marriage with Katniss prior to you proposing to her? Especially when you don't feel like she's recovering well from her recent tragedy?"

I feel the tiniest twinge of doubt, but I push it down, trying to ignore it. "Because I don't see the need to discuss it. I mean, if it's God's plan for us to be married, then why do we need to discuss it?"

"I see. And you are certain that it's God's plan for you to marry Katniss?"

"Yes!" I exclaim. "Of course it is! If it wasn't, why would God place her right there, on my path, at the exact time that he did?"

"Peeta," Dr. Aurelius says, shaking his head. "Has it ever occurred to you, that perhaps you were placed on Katniss's path? And if so, perhaps you should be also concerned about her timeline, instead of only your own?"

No. I have to admit that thought hadn't ever occurred to me. I feel my heart lurch in my chest, the tiny shred of doubt growing larger. "Well, even so," I say petulantly. "Who's to say that our timelines aren't the same?"

"Certainly not me," Dr. Aurelius implores. "I can't even dare to presume to know the Lord's exact plan for my own life, much less someone else's." He turns, setting his notebook down on the desk. "But Peeta, what I do know, is the anxiety you're feeling regarding that black eye of yours is stemming directly from the fact that you're still bitter about the accident that took your leg. And all of the circumstances surrounding that accident."

Ugh. He's right. I hate when I think people are looking at me in pity. I hate being seen as weak.

"Also," he continues. "The anxiety you feel about even the remote possibility of Katniss leaving you is due to the fact that you haven't made sure the two of you are on the same page with some very important issues. I'm afraid there's not a lot more I can do for you until you admit to yourself that these are things you need to work on."

I nod gingerly, tapping my fingers against the sketchbook. "I understand. So, um, does that mean you don't need to see me every week anymore?"

Raising his eyebrows, Dr. Aurelius sighs. "Well, I'd like to continue seeing you weekly because I believe it's helpful for you to be reminded of these issues, even if you're not ready to tackle them yet. And dare I say you seem to look forward to our little chats?"

I gulp, alarmed at the fact that he's been able to read me so well. I do look forward to my appointments with Dr. Aurelius; it's almost as though I have Finnick back to talk to. Since Finnick moved away we've only been able to talk on the phone, and I've always preferred face-to-face discussions over phone calls.

"Yes," I mumble. "I do look forward to them."

"Well, then I see no reason not to continue," Dr. Aurelius says, taking a small cloth from his front shirt pocket and wiping the lenses of his glasses. "I only ask that you give what we discussed today some very serious thought prior to our next meeting. Will you be able to do that?"

"Yeah, I can do that." Thoughts are easy. It's the actual doing that's the hard part.

He repositions the glasses on his face. "Very well. I will see you next week then. Usual time?"

"Yeah."

We both stand up at the same time, shaking hands before he turns for the door, pausing with his hand on the doorknob. "Tell me, Peeta. Has Katniss officially accepted Christ?"

I feel my face flush. "No," I mutter. "Not yet. And I wish she would, because I think it would help her."

"Hmm," Dr. Aurelius says. "She's been attending your church and small group since September, correct?"

"Yeah."

"Have you asked her why she's reluctant to take that step?" he asks.

"No, I haven't," I admit. "I've been-"

"Afraid?"

"Yeah," I reply, my eyes downcast.

"Well. Then it would seem we have some more work to do, doesn't it?"

"Yeah."

"I'll see you next week, Peeta. Enjoy your last week off from school. And I will say an extra prayer for Miss Katniss tonight."

"Thank you. I really appreciate it."

I'm grumpy the whole rest of the week. The intellectual, pastor-in-training part of me can admit that Dr. Aurelius is right; I should be talking to Katniss about these important things. About the fact that she still flat-out refuses to agree to see him, even though I know she's not eating or sleeping well. About the fact that she hasn't yet accepted Christ after several months of attending church and small group. About whether or not she would want to return to her hometown someday. And if she could see herself agreeing to marry me, when she hasn't even admitted out loud that she loves me.

But the other part of me-the wimp, the scaredy-cat, the son of my father-doesn't want to bring up these things because I'm absolutely terrified that Katniss will bolt for the door the second I try to discuss them. I'd much rather stick with talk about the upcoming Super Bowl, and which movie series we should start next. I've even been afraid to bring up Dr. Aurelius in front of her, instead asking Delly to drop hints to her every now and then.

It doesn't help at all that each time I work up some courage to attempt a serious discussion, something bad seems to happen. A week after the semester begins, Katniss receives a letter in the mail from one of the large local banks, informing her that Haymitch had fallen behind on his house payments several months ago and is now facing foreclosure. While Haymitch had had the foresight to name Katniss as his next-of-kin before he died, he apparently had neglected to tell Katniss about the exact state of his finances. The bank's letter informs her that she has ninety days to try and sell the home on her own to pay off the mortgage, or the house will be repossessed and any equity will be lost.

Upon hearing the news, our small group and other church family jump into action. Cecelia offers the services of her good friend who's a realtor. Leevy has a cousin who owns a self-storage facility, so we spend an entire weekend unloading furniture and any other salvageable contents of the house into a storage locker. Rue then organizes the entire Mountainside band and most of her school friends to go in and fix up the house; patching up drywall, painting walls, resurfacing floors, landscaping the yard, and painting the exterior.

Blessedly, the house is listed for sale by the end of February and is under contract a week later, with a closing date set for the middle of April.

Then, two weeks before Delly and Thom's wedding, the transmission goes out in Katniss's truck one evening on her way home from work. Cassandra is thankfully able to go pick Katniss up, but the damage proves to be more expensive than the truck is worth, leaving Katniss with no transportation for over a week until Sae's granddaughter's husband, who owns a small used car dealership, offers Katniss a small, reliable car at dealer cost. He even offers to take her broken truck as a partial trade-in, saying that its parts will be useful. But Katniss refuses, admitting she has no means to cover the rest of the car's price until the sale of Haymitch's house is complete.

I offer to cover the rest of the cost, using the savings I've accumulated so far for her engagement ring. But Katniss protests that as well, saying she can take care of herself and doesn't need my help. That leads to an argument so intense it leaves me shaking, both in frustration and fear. Somehow, by the grace of God, I'm able to convince her to accept the money from me, and Thom and Delly take her to pick up the car on the Monday afternoon prior to their wedding.

Another argument ensues a couple days later while we're talking on the phone one evening, when I offer to buy Katniss a new dress for the wedding.

"I don't want you to spend anymore money on me, Peeta," she says. "Rue already told me I could borrow something of hers again."

"And that's really nice of her," I reply. "But wouldn't you rather have something of your own to wear? You told me that you've never had any new clothes before, so I thought the wedding would be a good excuse to get something new."

"I said no!" she snaps. I can hear the scowl in her voice. "And why is it so important for you to be buying me clothes all of a sudden? Are mine not good enough anymore? Or are you embarrassed to be seen with me wearing a borrowed dress?"

"Goodness no!" I object. I start pacing anxiously back and forth across the floor. "I grew up wearing hand-me-downs too, you know. I was just trying to be nice, Katniss. That's all. There's no need to get so upset about it."

"I won't get upset if you stop trying to change me," she grumbles. "Turn me into something I'm not."

"Alright, alright," I concede, rolling my eyes. "You win. I'm sorry I even brought it up."

I let the subject drop, but it continues to gnaw at me as Friday arrives, the day of the wedding. As I dress in my rented tuxedo twenty minutes before Katniss is scheduled to pick me up, I breathe in a deep, determined breath. Dr. Aurelius is right. If I'm planning to propose to Katniss anytime soon, we still have a lot to talk about. And I suppose there's no better time than now to get started. I have the next week off from classes, I'm ahead in all of my coursework anyway, and I only have some final editing to do on my senior paper before it's ready to turn in. I really have no more excuses.

Finishing with the fussy bow tie, I look at my reflection. I detest wearing tuxedos. I always feel like a dressed up Ken doll whenever I wear one. And it doesn't help at all that each time I wear one of these penguin suits some sort of unfortunate incident occurs. The first time it was my run-in with the bear trap. Then three years later at Ban's wedding, while I was trying to avoid being tackled by some distant old-lady cousin of my father's, my elbow managed to knock a tier of the wedding cake onto the floor. My mother nearly had an aneurysm before my dad was able to save the day by producing a extra tier he'd baked and frosted, just in case. I swore after that to only have at most a two-tiered wedding cake when I got married. And to have a backup available, just in case.

Smoothing my hair off my forehead, I glance one more time at my reflection and shrug. "I guess that's as good as you're gonna get."

I'm really not looking forward to this wedding. As happy as I am for Delly and Thom, as a member of the wedding party I'll be required to spend most of the evening partnered with Thom's teenage sister while Katniss sits with Thresh and his family. And if last night's rehearsal dinner is any indication, Delly's mother will not be tolerating anything short of perfection for this evening's festivities.

And right now I would like nothing more than to cuddle up with Katniss and watch a movie. I know she's not looking forward to tonight either, as she's not big on crowds or fancy parties. Tomorrow, I think. Tomorrow I'll ask if she can come over right after I get off work. Maybe we can drive down to town and go to that sweet shop again. I'd love some more of their peppermints.

I'm waiting outside the coffee shop when Katniss pulls up in her little silver Yaris, looking stunning in a forest green dress under a black peacoat. I hold tightly to her hand for the five minute drive to the church, allowing the touch of her skin to help calm my nerves about tonight.

We arrive at the church to find it transformed. Banquet tables are set up in the atrium, with pretty much every flat surface covered in either flowers or balloons. Walking into the auditorium is like walking into a florist's shop that exploded, with huge bouquets of roses in pinks and reds tied together with ribbons and attached to each row of chairs. There's also a very strange-looking woman scurrying about with a clipboard in one hand, wearing a bright purple suit, four-inch heels, and a bright orange wig. She looks very out of place at our church, ordering people around with her high-pitched voice and going on and on about how it's such a "big, big, big day." After seeing her conferring with Delly's mother, Katniss and I come to the conclusion that she must be the wedding coordinator.

Once I get Katniss seated next to Rue, I take my place with the rest of the wedding party. After a twenty minute delay due to the organist getting lost, the ceremony begins, with me managing to make it down the aisle without slipping in my shiny rented dress shoes. Delly, whose poofy white dress takes up most of the aisle, trips a little as she walks down on her father's arm, but everything else proceeds without a hitch. Pastor Dale recites from most of the traditional Bible passages regarding love, honor, and marriage. I listen closely, mentally picking and choosing which passages I'd like to have at our wedding.

Following the exchange of vows, rings, and the unity candle lighting, we're directed back out to the atrium to begin the five course formal dinner. I try, I really try to maintain a polite conversation with Thom's little sister during the meal, but I can't help but worry about how Katniss is doing. Especially when I notice that she's hardly touching her food and seems sullen.

It's not until almost two hours later, after all the toasts to the happy couple are made and the cake is cut and the requisite wedding party dances are finished, that I'm able to escape the confines of the head table. Walking across the atrium to where Thresh and Cassandra are standing, I'm surprised to find Katniss missing.

"She and Rue went to the restroom," Thresh says. "Y'all know how girls are, they always have to go in pairs."

"Ha!" Cassandra says as she pokes her husband with her elbow. "More likely it's because they want to talk about boys without you around!"

"What boy is my baby sister talking about?" Thresh demands, craning back to look in the direction of the ladies' room. "And how do you know about it and not me?"

I chuckle, feeling a bit of the tension leaving my neck and shoulders. "How long are you gonna call her your baby sister?" I tease Thresh. "She's gonna be a senior next year! Don't you think once she's old enough to vote, she's old enough to date?"

Thresh eyes me warily. "No way, man. And if you had a little sister, trust me, you'd think the same thing."

"So," Cassandra says, tactfully changing the subject. "Pastor Dale told me yesterday that he and the elders are going to officially announce the new ministry changes to the staff on Monday. And he said he's hoping to have any new positions covered by Memorial Day."

"Cass, that's not something we should be discussing here," Thresh warns.

"Oh I know, sorry," she replies, looking chagrined. "I just thought Peeta would want to know, so he can be prepared in case he's called for an interview."

"Thank you Cassandra," I say. Please, let's not talk about this right now.

She leans in, continuing in a stage whisper. "So, you'd better get on the ball about proposing. Because you don't want the fact that you're not married to be held against you during an interview. And you might want to get on to Katniss a little too, since she's not even baptized yet."

"What're you guys talking about?" Katniss asks, startling me as she appears right next to me. She seriously has the softest tread known to mankind.

"Nothing too exciting," I say quickly, wrapping my arm around her waist. "Cassandra was just telling us about some church stuff."

"Oh?" Katniss says. "Like what?"

"New ministry positions mainly," Cassandra says, ignoring my pleading look to drop the subject. "I wanted to give Peeta a heads up."

Katniss blinks, a look of confusion marring her delicate features. "Why? Is it going to affect the small group leaders?"

"Cass…" Thresh warns under his breath. "Now's really not the time-"

"No," Cassandra continues, barreling right over her husband's warning. "If they announce a new Teen Pastor position, Peeta will be almost certainly called for an interview, so I wanted to make sure he knew ahead of time in case he needed to prepare."

I feel Katniss go rigid next to me, the way she always does when she feels blindsided. Please Cassandra! Please shut up!

"I see," Katniss mumbles, her voice flat. Her eyes are staring off in the distance, refusing to look at me.

"You know, Katniss," Cassandra continues. "It's really amazing that you and Peeta met when you did, because I know he was starting to get worried about it."

Oh God, please no. I can feel beads of sweat forming on the back of my neck. "Cassandra-" I croak, but she just continues on, ignoring the look of panic on my face.

"Um, what do you mean?" Katniss asks. "Worried about what?"

"About finding a wife, of course. A lot of churches won't even interview a potential pastor unless he's married. Or at the very least, engaged." She looks quizzically at me. "Hasn't Peeta told you that? Oh, and speaking of that, you might want to sign up to get baptized at our next baptism service. I think we have one coming up in the next few weeks."

Knowing Katniss as well as I do, I'm prepared for when she tries to yank herself away from me, gripping her firmly by the waist so she can't bolt for the door. "Um," I manage to say through my parched throat. "Will you excuse us for a few minutes?"

"Ah, sure," Cassandra says, looking confused. "Have I said something wro-"

But I don't wait around to answer her, leading Katniss across the back of the atrium and out the side door to a patch of bushes next to a floodlight. "Katniss, please listen to me," I start, but she's so confused and angry at this point she doesn't let me finish.

"What was Cassandra talking about in there?" she demands. I have never seen her look this angry. "No wait. On second thought, I think she made it pretty clear."

"She didn't make anything clear, Katniss," I say frantically. "Absolutely nothing. Cassandra doesn't know what she's talking about."

"That's not what it sounded like to me!" Katniss snaps, avoiding my attempt to grab her hand. "It sounds to me like she was saying that without me, you wouldn't have a chance at a job here. Or anywhere else for that matter. But you've never mentioned anything to me about any of this!"

"I know! I know I haven't, and that was a huge mistake, Katniss. I'm so sorry! I only wanted to make sure-"

"Make sure of what? That I'd agree to get baptized? And then agree to marry you? Just so you could get a job? And then probably have kids someday? Peeta, I don't even know if I want kids!"

I double over, her words hitting me like a punch to the gut. "No! Katniss, that's not-"

Katniss throws her hands in the air, scowling. "Is that why you were so eager to help me buy my car? And why you keep asking to buy me clothes? Do I not look good enough for you? Is there some standard that pastor's wives have to live up to that I'm not meeting?"

"No!" I growl. "You know that's not true! Katniss-"

"Peeta, you made me lo-, you made me care about you!" she shrieks. "Was any of it real, or was this all just a big show for the church? Was I just another school assignment you had to ace?"

"It was all real!" I yell, raking my hand through my hair. "All of it is real! Katniss, I love you! I want you to be my wife someday!"

Katniss scoffs. "You love me? How is that even possible? You don't even find me attractive!"

I gape at her in disbelief. "How can you say that? I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!"

"You wouldn't even look at me!" she screams. "The day Haymitch died. When I was in the bathtub, you wouldn't even look at me! How can you say you love me, and want to marry me, when the very sight of my naked body disgusts you!"

I gulp, praying that no one heard that last statement. The last thing I need right now is Pastor Dale or someone else coming out the door and finding us arguing about Katniss's naked body.

"Katniss," I implore, keeping my voice lower. "You have no idea how difficult that was for me. How difficult it's been for me to stay a gentleman around you." I finally manage to grab her hands, clasping them between my own. "I want you, so badly! But I've always wanted to wait for that until we were married. I still do. Because you're worth waiting for."

"I don't believe that for one second," Katniss says, not without a hint of melancholy. "Men just don't think that way, Peeta. Your brother sure doesn't. It was revolting, some of the things he said to me that night in the woods."

"Well, Rye's an immature creep, and you know it," I snap. "You sell yourself short so often, but you have no idea how much you mean to so many people. And especially to me."

She looks up at me, searching my face. "Gale called me yesterday."

My head jerks back like she's slapped me, my jaw clenching as I swallow hard. "What for?"

Pulling her hands away, she turns, staring at the bushes rustling in the frigid breeze. "He said someone on his full-time crew quit last week and he needs a replacement. He offered the job to me."

I feel my stomach sink down to my knees. "You already have a job."

Katniss rolls her eyes. "Yeah. A part-time, dead-end job teaching entitled school kids how to shoot plastic arrows at targets and jump rope. Not exactly what I want to do for the rest of my life."

"And being a lumberjack is?" I blurt out, realizing too late that that was the absolute wrong thing to say.

Katniss turns on me, her grey eyes flashing furiously. "Why not? Or is having a lumberjack for a wife not good enough for a pastor? I thought you said you weren't like your mother!"

"I'm not!" I protest. "That's not fair and you know it. I just want you to be happy, and I know being around Gale makes you miserable! And you have friends here, Katniss! Friends who love you and want to see you happy!"

A single tear rolls down her face. "But that's not completely true, is it? They, and you, only want me happy if I follow your script. Get baptized. Marry you. Become a pastor's wife. Have children. But what if that's not what I want?"

Something in her tone, the flatness, the finality, scares me more than any nightmare I had after my accident ever did. "Katniss, what are you saying?"

"I don't think I can do it, Peeta," she says, with tears now streaming down her cheeks. "I can't be a pastor's wife. I couldn't live up to that standard, and all it would do is cause you to hate me in the end. I can't be, what you need me to be. We're just… too different."

"No we're not!" I say, tears welling in my own eyes. "We're not that different at all. We're both survivors, and you know it."

Sniffing, she turns away from me. "I can't-, I can't give you what you need, Peeta. And I'm sorry. But I can't do it." She takes a step down the sidewalk. "You'd be better off finding someone else."

"Katniss, please!" I'm begging shamelessly now, trying to do anything to prevent her from walking away from me. "Please don't go! I don't want anyone else, I only love you! There's only you! Please, don't leave me!"

But she just shakes her head, walking backwards away from me. "I'm sorry," she whispers. "I'm sorry, Peeta. But everyone that I love ends up leaving me, and it's just better if I..."

"Katniss! Please don't! Please don't go! My life… it's nothing without you! I don't care if I don't get a job as a pastor anymore. You're more important to me than any job! We can, we can even move to Seam County after I graduate if you want to. I don't care where we go, as long as we're together!"

"I can't ask you to give up your dreams just for me," she says, retreating a couple more steps. "You'd never forgive me."

"That's not true!" I say as I advance towards her. "I love you, Katniss! I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, and I don't care where I end up working!" I take another step. "Just as long as you're with me! I'll be happy as long as you're with me!"

Time seems to pause as Katniss looks at me, her grey eyes boring into my own. For a brief moment, it seems like I've actually broken through to her.

But the moment is lost with a final shake of her head. "I'm sorry," she repeats. Another tear rolls down her cheek as she takes a deep breath. "I'm so sorry, Peeta. But I just can't. I'm gonna go back home."

My stomach lurches violently. I can physically feel my heat ripping into pieces, like she's shattered it with one of her arrows. "So that's it? After everything we've been through together, you're just gonna give up on me?"

Turning around one last time, she looks at me. I can see the tear tracks on her face, illuminated by the bright floodlight. I can see the anguish in her eyes as she presses her lips together, her lower lip quivering badly. "Goodbye, Peeta."

And then she turns her back to me and walks away, down the sidewalk, and out of my life.

So. This chapter pretty much ripped my heart out. People have commented that Katniss needed to reach rock-bottom before she would admit to needing help, and apparently Peeta needed to as well. :(

I've put together a YouTube playlist of all the songs I've used in this story so far, and I'll be adding to it with each new chapter that uses songs in the future, so be sure to check it out!

FFnet doesn't like links to outside sources, but if you do a search for Practice Run Playlist you should be able to find it. :) If not, please send me a PM! :)

Please let me know what you think! I'm never comfortable with my ability to write a lot of angst. I'd much rather write sweet, fluffy stuff, so please review!