Hey guys! Thank you so so much for your patience and the fabulous feedback on the last chapter. You all are the best readers ever!
"I can't believe -" she's muttering, pacing restlessly. "Callie -"
"How was I supposed to know?" she snarls back. Of all the gay surgeons in the world, of course her hot date had to be the insensitive jerk who ghosted her ex- wife.
Her ex-wife who is currently pacing a track into her living room rug, hands buried in her blonde hair.
"Do you never check up on your dates?" Arizona explodes. "For gods sake, Callie, you dated Penny. You dated the woman who killed Derek Shepherd. You're dating the woman who stole Richard Webers' job, who ghosted me, and basically left Grey Sloan upside down-"
"What was I supposed to do, run a background check?" she counters.
"Before you let our daughter meet her? Yes!"
"Are you saying that I'm a bad mother?" she yells back.
"Of course not, I'm just saying-"
"I didn't know she was going to turn up here, okay?" she says, holding up a hand for Arizona to stop; Sofia is peeking at them form behind the door, eyes saucerlike.
"Go get your jacket, baby." Arizona says, her voice perfectly calm.
"Wait, no, we can't just-"
"I came here for the meeting," she says frostily. "You can come if you want to."
In the end, they all end up at Sofia's school, one happy six year old skipping along between two sullen women. What a picture they must make.
"You must be Mommy." the teacher says, clasping her hand. She's soft, round, midthirties, and smells comfortingly of putty. "And you're Mama."
Sofia nods proudly, side-eyeing a small blonde girl on the other side of the room, who is staring at them.
"Is that Terry?" she asks. Sofia nods.
"Okay, I know you're mad, but stop picking on the first graders." Callie hisses.
"I am not."
"You just gave that kid the Look."
She says the word like it starts with a capital, emphasising with a dramatic roll of her eyes.
"What do you mean, the Look ?"
"You know what I mean."
"No I don't, how I am I supposed to know what you mean when you won't even say-"
"Stop fighting." Sofia whines.
"We're not fighting." they chorus. Sofia doesn't look convinced.
"Let's ..." Callie whispers, looking uncomfortable.
"Yeah." she agrees. "Let's not."
After all, they're not each other's business anymore.
..
"Callie?"
She grunts in response; they're being civil, but she's still touchy. As she has a right to be. She shouldn't have lit into her like that; what - and who - she does has nothing to do with her.
It's just that...well, she somehow doesn't like the idea of Eliza anywhere near her child. She's flighty and indecisive, and she hates to think of Callie getting involved with her, of Eliza worming into their lives. Of Sofia getting attached, and then boom, one day she's just gone and Sofia's lost another person.
She's already lost so many people who loved her, in so short a life. Mark. Lexie. One mother at a time. She's never really asked Sofia what she thinks of the new state of affairs - she's listened to her cheery patter about her new school and her new friends and her dance class and how she has a whole room all to herself.
Does she ever miss her when she's in New York? She's longing for the day she gets her baby back for a whole year, but what does that mean for Sofia? Another new school, strange kids. Her life uprooted, coast-to-coast.
She sucks in her breath when she reaches the pinboard decorated in colorful paper flowers, titled MY FAMILY AND ME.
Under a little pink paper pansy with Sofia's name on it in childishly chunky script, is a picture of her as a toddler, on her second birthday, a wide, cake-smeared grin lighting her chubby face as she sits on a picnic table with not one, not two, but four parents clustered proudly behind her; god, Mark looks young, Lexie younger, eyes crinkling with laughter and sun. Callie has one arm around her shoulders, looking straight into the camera, and she's propping up Sofia with one hand, and looking at Callie with an expression she's sure hasn't crossed her face in the last year.
"Yeah, I gave her that one." Callie says quietly behind her. "She said she wanted one with both of us and her daddy and Lex, and I found this."
She touches the tiny happy faces, marveling at how much they've lost in the last few years. She shouldn't have to lose any more, she thinks, watching their daughter explain a dried pasta masterpiece to Callie. She shouldn't have to split her life between her mothers.
The question is - which one of them will bend?
"Er," the teacher coughs politely behind them. "If I could have a moment?"
They leave Sofia chattering away to a bunch of pigtailed little girls, following the teacher out into a small courtyard. She motions for them to sit on a low wooden bench, but she stands in front of them, arms crossed.
"It's not our place to say so," she says, taking a deep breath; she only just manages to not roll her eyes. She can't stand people who start with excuses.
"But your...custody arrangements don't seem to suit your child."
..
Arizona's quiet in the cab home, holding Sofia's sleepy head protectively against her. She can sense she wants to talk, but she's stubbornly tightlipped, staring at the lights whizzing by the windows.
"I had no idea." she offers up, part truce, part apology. It's true; she had absolutely no idea. She seemed so happy, adjusting to their new life, making friends. Sure, she missed Seattle.
She just didn't know how bad it was.
"She's been...shutting herself in, Callie." Arizona whispers miserably, stroking her silky dark hair. "How did we miss this?"
How did she miss it? She's been the one doing the day-to-day parenting, she's the one who's been driving her to school and picking her up from dance and cooking her favorites out of guilt and ...well, everything. Arizona's been on the other end if the country.
Maybe that judge was right. Maybe Arizona was the better mother.
But she seems fine. Perfectly fine. She was bubbly at dinner, inhaling pizza and scribbling happily on the kid-friendly paper mats at the restaurant she loves. She's been fine.
"I thought... I thought she liked it here." she says heavily.
"Do you like it?" she asks dubiously. Well. Not what she was expecting, but then again she's always the tone of surprise.
Does she like it? It's ... fast, and exciting, and the work is interesting and challenging and she's making friends.
But sometimes - just sometimes, she misses home. Because that's what Seattle and Grey-Sloan are to her, and will probably always be.
When she spends the weekend holed up with her daughter for lack of anyone to go out with, and conversely when she has to drag a sleepy child to the hospital in the a.m and beg an intern to watch her because she has no one she trusts intimately enough to leave her with. When she remembers an inside joke and laughs out loud and people stare at her like she's crazy because the haven't been with her as long as Bailey and Arizona and Karev and Meredith and the rest of the gang.
When Sofia cries for her father, usually after she comes back from a playdate where the kid had two present parents.
But she wanted a fresh start and she got it. This is her new life, she's crafting it into what she's always wanted. She can't possibly leave her work here, even though her heart breaks when she realises she's takes Sofia away from everything she's ever known.
The question is - does Arizona feel the same way?
It's silent after they put Sofia to bed, both of them insisting on goodnight kisses. She looks delighted, obliging, planting sloppy kisses on their cheeks, holding Arizona a moment longer.
"Thank you for coming, Mommy." she says sweetly, sleepily. She can see Arizona's eyes misting, and pulls her out before she starts getting emotional.
..
"I guess I'll leave in the morning, then." she says, twisting her hair into a knot. "I won't get a flight out this late, can I -"
"Of course."
"We can...I don't know. We should probably." she's saying, wringing her hands.
"Yeah." she agrees.
It's been ages since she's had this kind of conversation, where there's no need to finish sentences because the other person already knows what you're saying.
But they both know they need to speak to the lawyer, change the custody arrangements. Uprooting her every year is hardly an option.
"One of us will probably have to move." she says tentatively; Arizona's hands still on the pillow she was fluffing.
"That was the whole point." she says tersely. "Neither of us wanted to move, so we decided to ruin her life instead."
"We both agreed it was the best thing at the time." she replies heatedly.
"Well, it clearly wasn't." she yells, shoving the pillow away. "Sofia's miserable and I'm miserable, so I sure as hell hope you're happy."
Is she?
"Well talk in the morning." she says, struggling to keep her voice calm. Arguing won't solve anything. With them, it never does.
"I'll be gone in the morning." she snaps. "By the way, Sofia asked to visit Seattle."
She watches the light go out of Callie's eyes, the imperceptible sag of her shoulders, the droop of her head. She has no family. Her parents are...well, the way they always are, and her sister's a dervish, hardly ever still. She knows she feels isolated out here, no one close enough to call family.
Sofia's all she has. She couldn't bear to think of her all alone in this strange city, only Penny (the Derek - killer) for company. It's why she spoke to the lawyer to change the agreement.
"Oh." she says, her voice very small. "I guess - next weekend? She won't miss school, and -"
"She wants to be there for Halloween," she says gently. "I can take her with me, have her back by the first at the latest, she won't miss too much school. Besides-" she grins. "She's smart like her Mama. She can catch up."
"Yeah." she mutters. "Okay, I'll, uh -" she points jerkily to the hallway. "I'll get her stuff."
"Callie."
"I'm sorry," she gasps, tears flooding in earnest down her face. "Oh god, I'm sorry, I messed up, she should have been with you, I can't believe she's been miserable this whole time missing her old life and I -" she hiccups, wrapping her arms around herself.
She hesitates a second, waiting, deliberating.
This is the woman who helped you shower after you lost your leg, she reminds herself.
And then it's easy to take that step and wrap her shaking body in her arms, whisper soothing words into her silky hair, so like their daughter's. She rocks her like she does Sofia, wiping her salty wet cheeks.
"It's okay." she murmurs. "You couldn't have known."
"It was selfish." she sobs.
"No, you-" she starts, but she's stopped by her lips against hers, searing and insistent, her hands driving the words from her mind.
"Callie, no-"
"Sorry." she gasps, tearing away. "God. Arizona, I'm so -"
"You know what?" she says slowly. Screw it. They're both lonely, both miserable. They deserve this one small happiness.
"I'm sorry." she grins, tilting forward to press her lips softly to Callie's.
"Me too." she breaths raggedly, and then someone has kicked the door shut and her hands are in her hair and there's no time to think, no time to breathe, no time to be sorry.
This was sorta based on Sofia's phone call to Arizona in 14 04.
Also, some Calzona.
Review, pretty please?