Chapter Six
Money...lots of it...was a wondrous thing. Erik had never cared about it except that he could have things and conveniences he wanted with it. In New York, it purchased entrance into a society that could care less about looks and a marvelous, nearly unlimited access to the opera house. The managers had been so astounded by his generosity that they had given him his choice of boxes and offered to assign him a valet, but he declined that. He did not want rumors of his appearance to reach Christine's ears. Instead, the managers allowed him to come and go as he pleased, which was perfect for him.
He had been back to the opera every day for the past week, remaining quietly hidden in the shadows as he explored the opera house and attended every rehearsal. He had seen both Meg and her mother on several occasions and resisted the temptation to reach out. This evening, as rehearsal had ended a little early, everyone had cleared out of the auditorium, leaving only a lone, older cleaning lady sweeping up. He was nearly positive that Christine hadn't left (he always watched for her) but was beginning to think he had missed her exit when he saw movement from stage left and his heart tightened in his chest. He moved to the darker shadows of the auditorium and slowly made his way closer to the front simply to see her. And that was when she started to sing. It was the duet from Act V of Faust and, though no one was with her to sing the part of Faust, she made it work. The declaration of her love poured forth in song and the emotional range felt real.
Erik allowed himself to pretend she sang those words to him and he quietly sang the parts that belonged to Marguerite's love. He was moved beyond measure and when she finished, it was all he could do not to sob aloud as his dream ended. He looked away for a moment to remind himself that as much as he loved her, she did not feel the same. And then she began to sing again.
"You have brought me, to that moment where words run dry...to that moment where speech disappears into silence...silence…"
Erik found himself staggering to hold on to the back of a seat. She was singing his music...the piece he had created for them! Her eyes were closed as she gave in to the passion of his music...just like that fateful night months ago. But tonight...tonight she sang with more. He watched as she ran her hands over her body, singing the words and owning them as she had never before. She took him with her, pulling him mind, body, and soul through the emotions she was feeling. He felt her voice wrap around him, caressing and teasing his body into responses he couldn't control. He was left at the mercy of her voice and he felt his legs grow shaky…
As her voice came down from the climax of the music, ending with, "We've passed the point of no return," she shivered as she opened her eyes and seemingly looked right at him as she whispered, "Erik."
He nearly collapsed. He knew he was out of sight but he felt her eyes on him and drew in a ragged breath. His name! She had whispered his name! She had never spoken it aloud to him. He had always been "Angel" until she had discovered the truth. Four little letters...two syllables...a name that had almost always been a curse, had sounded from her lips like he had only ever imagined it would in a moment of passion that he would never share with her. He couldn't move, couldn't speak...and could only watch as she gathered her things and wandered slowly off stage and to the door leading outside. As soon as he heard the door close, he allowed his legs to give out and collapsed in the aisle, his back leaning against the seat he'd been clutching like a lifeline. Dear God, what had he just experienced? First, her voice had literally coaxed feelings and reactions from him and his body that he'd never experienced before. Second, she had said his name...after finishing his song...after caressing herself, holding herself as if it were the duet's partner's arms around her. He couldn't allow himself to feel a shred of hope: no! He wouldn't! Look where it had gotten him before. But...why had she sung his music? And of all the pieces, the most passionate he'd ever created?
He had to know more...had to find out what she was thinking. He'd made mistakes like this before. He wasn't willing to do so again. He needed to be sure of where he stood this time: whether it be with her or from the shadows.