Episode 6: Mutants and Mousers
"Hell-oooo? Splinter? Turtles? Anybody at home?" The female nerd called out, glancing around as she quietly entered the turtle's underground lair. "It's me, Irma! You know, April's friend?"
Walking through the living room, the surprised sound technician saw the entire place was deserted. The whole place looked eerily empty, as if it had simply been abandoned a long time ago. The television had been left on, and was showing a test pattern. An empty pizza box was laying out on the table, two flies buzzing around a few blobs of leftover cheese. And a sink full of dirty dishes sat unwashed in the kitchen.
"Ewww, it really looks like somebody forgot to clean up around here." Irma thought aloud, picking up a dirty fork off of the table, and tossing it over into the sink. "Guess Splinter never taught them to tidy up after themselves. Then again, that's not that different from most normal teenagers."
"Irma, is that you?" Donatello called out, certain he had heard his friend's voice out in the kitchen. "I'm in my lab, working on a few things!"
"Hang on a sec, Donnie!" Irma called back, as she slowly tried to work her way through the dirty mess. "I'll be there in just a minute!"
The sound tech followed the sound of his voice, and found the scientist turtle standing over some kind of strange gadget, working with a screw driver. As she entered the lab, Donatello took off his goggles, smiled, and looked up to greet her.
"Oh, hey Irma, I thought it was you." he put his goggles down again. "Hang on for a second, I need to finish this, and I'll be right with you."
"Ohhh, really? What is it that you are making?" She asked jokingly. "Is it a dimensional viewer of some kind? Or maybe it's a portable portal."
"Nah, it's Mikey's toaster, actually. That doofus actually messed it up, when he tried cooking some pizza flavored pop tarts." Donnie sighed, shaking his head. "Now, I have to clean all the gunk out and get it working again."
"Ewwww! Pizza-flavored pop tarts!?" Irma asked in disgust, sticking her tongue out. "I didn't even know they made something like that!"
"They don't. Mikey is the guy who actually invented them. He and the other two are always doing stupid stuff, and I'm always the one who has to fix everything afterwards." Donatello replied, screwing the top back onto the toaster. "Now, what can I do for you, Irma?"
"Well, I was actually looking for Michelangelo." Irma explained, pulling out a red cardboard box with a fire-breathing dragon printed on the front. "There is a sale on the new Mazes and Mutants second edition book, and I thought he might like to try it out with me."
"Sorry, he and the other turtles and Splinter are out at-" Donnie suddenly stopped, finally realizing what Irma had said. "Wait... Mazes and Monsters? As in, the role playing game?! I absolutely love that RPG! Leo and I found an old torn copy of the first edition in a junkyard, and we had a blast playing a two-player version!"
"Really? I never thought you'd be the one mutant turtle to be into role-playing games." Irma replied in surprise, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, I just thought you were into tech stuff, and science. I so totally never pegged you as a gamer nerd, like me."
"Yeah, that's what everyone seems to think." Donatello sighed. "Look, I know everyone comes to me to fix stuff, and I'm always in here fixing something, but I do have interests other than working on electronic devices! Tinkering is just a hobby of mine, I don't think about 'science science science' twenty four hours a day, seven days a week'. I also like reading, listening to music... I'd even like to start a band, or write some music someday!"
"Okay, okay, I get it... you're not a one-dimensional turtle." Irma replied with a laugh, smiling at Donatello's dramatic speech. "So, did you want to come back to my apartment, and give this brand new version of the game a try?"
"Yeah, that sounds great!" Donnie smiled, putting his tools away. "I could use a break from all of my repair work."
...
As the turtle and young woman emerged from the sewers, they started to walk towards Irma's apartment through the cool night air. Both were totally unaware that they were being watched from a nearby rooftop, as a mysterious creature had caught sight of them emerging from the darkened alleyway. A pair of compound eyes watched the pair go up the apartment's fire escape, and noted the big green turtle in the trench coat with interest.
The turtle... was a mutant. Changed by the green mutagen, as he had been. Ohhhh, this was too perfect, the creature thought to himself, finding another who had undergone the transformation... though he wasn't aware for how this fate befell the turtle. The creature, of course, had once been a respected entomologist (a scientist who studied bugs) when the university where he was working at received a canister of the mysterious liquid from an archeological dig sight in China. Upon seeing the green ooze, the scientist who would become the creature was certain the green slime was some kind of insect secretion, the ancient Chinese had collected for medicinal purposes. But when he stole the canister from the lab, and tried to examine the eerie goop firsthand, the scientist ended up mutating himself into an insect.
And ohhhhh... what a blessed, glorious change it was! Now, he was not only studying insects, as he had been; rather, he had BECOME one of his blessed insectoids himself! Ohhhh, his glorious wings and his mandibles! His wonderful pincers and second set of arms! The green ooze had changed him from a lowly human to a fabulous housefly! Now, he would spread the glory of the common insect over the face of the entire planet, and eliminate those pesky humans, who considered themselves the dominant species on the planet. This turtle would have to be exterminated too, as his kind ate insects!
But the creature was not alone in his transformation A live cockroach and fire ant from his insect collection had also been exposed, and after mutating had become like loyal pets to the creature (after some insect pheromone therapy, of course), and now obeyed his every command. As they stood on the roof watching the turtle and his human companion, the mutant roach and ant were ready to jump off and attack the pair on the ground.
"Antrax, Scumbug, NO!" The creature exclaimed, stepping in front of them. "We won't waste our mandibles on them, my brothers! We'll let the mousers handle these fools, and see how they handle themselves."
The creature flew into the air, buzzing above the apartment building, as several chomping creatures slowly swarmed their way towards the building...
...
"Oh, wow! These dice look so cool!" Donnie squealed like a fanboy, as Irma opened the box, and pulled out the contents. "I've never seen clear dice, in that many colors before!"
"Yeah, they are really cool. These dice are something new the rpg company are trying to draw in more customers." Irma explained. "But I want to see how these new stats work, and if the new rules make the game more playable."
Donatello set up the map, placing the miniatures on on the dungeon's entrance, and scattering enemies all throughout the play field. Irma looked over the books again, prepping herself to do the staring adventure module that came with the game. And so, the two began to play. Donnie rolled up a wizard, while Irma created a healer. The two traversed a dungeon together, slaying ogres and goblins, and making their way past the traps in the long and winding labyrinth.
"Ha ha, evil fish man!" Donnie gloated, as the dice roll landed in his favor. "Your weak little acid spit attack cannot hurt me!"
"Be careful, good mage! The fish men are backed by a fierce dragon!" Irma warned, pulling out the dragon miniature. "If he hits you with his flame breath, I shall heal the damage from your burns!"
Finally, they arrived at the ogre mage's chamber, where the mastermind behind the evil plot they were trying to stop.
"Look, noble wizard! It's Princess Mallory, daughter of Emperor Aleister of Malcuria!" Irma declared, looking down at the map. "She is being held in that magic bubble prison by the evil ogre mage!"
"Then we must rescue the fair maiden!" Donnie replied, as the two prepared for battle. "Lest the fiend seek to use her to take over the kingdom!"
The two had fun waging an epic battle against the boss character, as they rescued the princess, and earned a lot of treasure. The two then heated and ate a frozen pizza to celebrate their victory, laughing and joking about the game they had just played.
"Okay, those rule changes are AWESOME!" Irma exclaimed, scarfing down on a slice of extra cheese and veggie pizza. "It's a lot easier to cast spells now, and combat is way smoother!"
"Yeah, and I love how you were able remove the personification curse, and healed me at the right moment!" Donnie replied with a smile. "And I loved toasting that lizard man with a fireball."
"Hey, it was a lot of fun... though I wish we had more players than just the two of us." Irma sighed. "You said Leo liked the game... why don't we bring him in next time?"
"Yeah, I guess he would make a good fighter class- character." Donnie agreed. "He's just as passionate about honor as Splinter is."
"Yeah, your brothers and your sensei seem like an interesting bunch." Irma noted, taking a sip of her fat-free vanilla shake. "What was growing up with them like?"
"Actually, this term for Splinter is sifu, not sensei." Donnie corrected her. "And yeah, growing up with those guys was an experience. Raph always made fun of me for having Mr. Wizard as my hero, and Mikey used to mess up the volcano models I'd make with baking soda and vinegar." The turtle sighed. "Don't get me wrong, my brothers are great. But it can get frustrating dealing with siblings who don't have your interests, or understand you, at all."
"Oy vey, I sure can relate to that one." Irma rolled her eyes. "But Master Splinter seems to have supported your interest in science, and your brothers spoke highly of your scientific skills when I talked to them. Surely, it wasn't that bad growing up with them?"
"I suppose you're right, Irma." Donnie admitted. "But I never had somebody who I could really talk to, or someone who understands the technical jargon I use. So I'm really glad we were able to meet you and April."
"Thanks, Donnie. I really appreciate that." Irma smiled. "There wasn't really anyone with my tech interests growing up, and being a nerdy girl who liked fantasy an adventure movies and comics? Yeah, you can probably tell how popular I was in high school."
"Oh, come on, it couldn't have been that bad." Donnie laughed.
"You kidding me?" Irma shook her head. "I couldn't even get one of the computer geeks to take me to the prom!"
"And at least you got to go to high school." The turtle pointed out. "Besides, there had to have been someone geekier than you at school."
"Well, there was this one guy... a wormy little nerd who was really into collecting bugs in college." Irma shivered at the memory. "His name was Baxter Stockman, and he was a total weirdo who liked taking dead flies, grasshoppers, and spiders under glass. He thought bugs were superior to humans, and would sit and talk to his collection in the cafeteria."
"Whoa, what a weird-sounding fellow... and that's coming from a mutant turtle scientist." Donnie thought for a moment. "Wait a second... Stockman? Isn't that the last name of Barney Stockman, the famous robotics expert who died last year?"
"Yes, actually. Barney was Baxter's older brother." Irma explained. "The two never seemed to get along, though. I think Baxter was almost ashamed that they were related, even though they both became scientists."
"Huh, maybe it was a case of sibling rivalry. With my brothers, I can totally relate to that concept." Donnie shrugged, as he looked up at the clock on the wall, and saw how late it was getting. "In any case, we'd better wrap this up, and-"
*clank clank clank clank CLANK CLANK!*
Donatello and Irma stopped talking, as they heard the approaching sound of several metal forms approaching the apartment.
"Wait, what's that sound?" Donnie asked, quickly grabbing his Nangun staff from where it lay on the couch. "Irma, do you hear that?"
*CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK!*
"Yeah, it sounds like it's coming towards the apartment." Irma replied. "It sounds like it came up the stairs, and is heading this way..."
The metallic sounds stopped outside the apartment door, and the two friends began to hear a different sound outside of the apartment.
*CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP*
*BOOM!*
Suddenly, dozens of small, silver, robot-like creatures with big heads and no arms came pouring into the room, their iron jaws chomping through the door and wall.
"What the shell?!" Donatello exclaimed, raising his Nangun defensively. "What the heck are these crazy things?!"
"I don't believe it... Donnie, they're mousers!" Irma cried out, racing over to the stove, and grabbing a frying pan. "These are robots Barney Stockman created... I saw them years ago, during a science exhibition in college!"
"Well, whatever they are, and wherever they came from, they're about to become scrap!" Donnie cried out, raising his bow staff. "Come on, they're not taking us without a fight!"
As the army of metallic menaces lunged at the two, Donnie and Irma raised their weapons, ready to strike...
*SMASH!*
Donatello brought his nangun down upon the head of one of the mousers, shattering the robot into a thousand pieces. Two more of the metallic monsters rushed him from either side, and the turtle with the purple bandana slammed his staff to the left and right, destroying them both.
"Hey, these creatures aren't as tough as they look!" Donnie shouted, smashing a fourth mouser. "Irma, let these suckers have it!"
"HIYA!" Irma cried out, smashing one of the robots with her frying pan. "You're right, these guys are cannon fodder!" Racing over to the drawer, Irma pulled out a razor sharp butcher knife, and slashed towards one of the mousers, cleaving it in half. "Ha ha! I got a natural 20 on my attack roll!"
"Good one!" Donnie laughed, smashing another oner. "Hey, check this out! That had to have been worth at least 80 experience points!"
"Well, the enemy is still coming!" Donnie declared, smashing two more of the robots. "We need to continue our assault!"
The two brave warriors fought on, Donnie smashing and crushing their heads with his bow staff, and Irma slicing with the giant knife in one hand, and crushing with the pan in the other. Wave after wave of mousers poured in, and Donnie started sweeping his nangun staff back and forth, taking out dozens of mousers with each swipe. Irma joined in with kicking the little monsters away between each swipe of her two weapons, knocking away the little terrors nipping at her tennis shoes.
*SMASH!*
*SMASH!*
*SMASH! SMASH! SMASH! SMASH!*
It was such a wonderful experience for Donatello; fighting side-by-side with Irma, tearing through these endless hordes of mechanical terrors. It reminded him of the dungeon crawling they had just done in the tabletop role-playing game, the mousers calling to mind the kolbolds they had been slaying in the dungeon they had recently traversed. It reminded the turtle how much he enjoyed the thrill of adventures such as this one, and how much he wished his brothers were here to enjoy it.
"Donnie, look out!" Irma cred out, noticing several mousers gnawing their way through the floor above, and trying to come down from above in a surprise attack. "They are trying to get the drop on you!"
As the mousers dropped down, Donnie raised his nangun staff above his head, spinning it around like a helicopter blade, and shattering the mechanical monsters who dropped down on him from above. This distraction allowed one of the mousers to get close to the turtle, and bite down on his foot.
*CHOMP!*
"Ouch! THAT HURT!" Donnie yelled, kicking the biting mouser off, and shattering it. "MY TOES MY TOES!"
Again and again and again they smashed through the little robot pests, Donnie smashing their mechanical brains out, and Irma skewering them through the head like shish kebabs with her butcher knife. Finally, the swarm of mousers began to taper off, and the two victorious heroes stood over a smashed pile of mechanical parts, both of them out breath.
"Wow, I cant' believe those things just came out of nowhere." Donnie gasped, finally catching his breath. "Why did Barney Stockman build those little terrors, anyway?"
"They were meant as a form of pest extermination, but Barney died before they could be sold on the open market." Irma replied, still sounding winded. "The only one who would still have access to the two hundred or so he had already built from Barney's estate would be... Baxter himself..."
Before the sound technician could follow up on that idea, the apartment building around them began to shake and rumble. Cracks began to form in the plaster and masonry, as the whole structure started coming apart.
"What's going on now?!" Irma panicked. "Why's everything shaking?"
"The mousers must've eaten the foundation and support right out from underneath the building!" Donnie realized, as he grabbed Irma's arm, and raced over towards the window. "The fight was just a distraction! We've got to get out of here, right now!"
Donatello and Irma promptly leaped out the window, and onto the fire escape. Donnie picked her up, and jumped across to the roof of the neighboring building, as they watched the entire structure collapse behind them.
"Boy, they sure don't make em' like they used to." Donnie joked, ignoring the total shock of what they had just been through. "I bet empire city's demolition crews wish they had some of those little monsters."
"Eeesh, good thing all the other tenants were out while their apartments were being fumigated." Irma sighed, trying to hide her horror and sadness over the loss of all her personal possessions. "Looks like I'll be rooming with April for awhile."
As the structure crumbled into a pile of rubble, thoughts began to turn over in Donatello's head. Irma had indicated those mousers had been sent by Baxter Stockman, but why had the scientist sent them after him and Irma, and why had they arrived just as he and Irma were talking about the insect-loving nerd? Donnie wondered if there were more powerful forces at work here, as things seemed to be happening that just went beyond mere coincidence. But as these thoughts raced through the turtle's head, he looked at a nearby rooftop, and for a second he could've sworn he saw three angry insect men, all glaring at him and Irma. But when he blinked, the visions were gone.
"Come on, we'd better get back to the lair, and tell the others what just happened." Donnie told her, as the two made their way across the rooftop. "Besides, I think this night air is starting to make me see things..."
On a nearby rooftop, an enraged fly-creature watched the turtle and his human friend go. How dare they survive his attack? Destroying that building had cost him all of his dead brother's mousers, and he had no way of making any more! Still, he had witnessed firsthand the turtle's evident power, and he had overheard the creature spoke about others of his kind. Yes, this would an interesting battle, indeed... one that would not only determine if man or insect would would the world as the superior species, but wither turtle on insect would be the one to survive, as well. He would return to 'bug' these turtles again, and next time, he and his insects would be ready...
...the battle for survival was about to begin, and Baxter Stockman was determined to make sure the species with multiple legs... the insects... would be the last ones standing...