Chapter 30-All I Need
A/N:I know I am a horrible person, not updating lately, but I have been doing some major catch up for uni, now that it is (almost) finally over,I can UD more frequently.Also, I recently celebrated my birthday, so it kept me busy for a couple of days! Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, it means the world to me, really. This is a shorted UD then normal, I had major writers block when it came to this chapter. I hope it turned out ok-Again, please review, in any shape or form, I appreciate it all the same-Lydia
"Haley, have you heard from Brooke or Lucas yet?" Peyton asked as she sat down in the Scott kitchen
"No, nothing. I'm worried" Haley said twirling her shoulder length hair into a bun.
"I know me too. But what can we do? Brooke and Lucas are forever in this stupid cycle, one of them will eventually break it." Peyton said thoughtfully
"You think so?"
"I sure hope so; I know Brooke doesn't want Ella growing up in the type of environment she did, that's why she is so guarded all the time"
"Not to mention Lucas' previous history with cheating" Haley reminded her blonde friend.
"Do you think we should go looking for them?"
"No, I think Brooke will call us if she is in any trouble, plus, it will be good for them to get everything out in the open"
Peyton sat down on one of the kitchen stools, scratching her head slightly.
"Why do you think it always ends like this for them?"
Haley sat down opposite her friend. Haley had known Lucas for a long time, and had seen him fall in and out of love with the brunette. It always hurt her to know that Lucas had never experienced the kind of love that she shared with Nathan-all consuming, never ending love. She also knew that Brooke and Lucas were destined to be, whether they could admit it or not.
"I think that when they stop running, and realise they have been soul mates since they were 16, everything will work itself out"
"I sure hope so" Peyton said, stirring the tea Haley had passed her, absentmindedly.
"What's wrong?" Haley asked gently
"I guess a part of me will always think that I am a part of the problems they are having"
"Honey, high school was over a long time ago, and you love Jake, right?"
"Of course I love Jake"
"Well there is nothing to worry about then. The reason Brooke and Lucas fight is because they are Brooke and Lucas. They will work it out, you'll see" Haley said confidently
"You think" Peyton asked hopefully
"No, I know"
"It sounds like you have insider information"
"Well maybe I do" Haley said with a twinkle in her eye.
"Brooke" Lucas yelled
"Go away Lucas" she called out bitterly
"Brooke, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you"
"You know, this seems to be a reoccurring theme"
"I don't mean it to be"
"I don't get it Luke. You give your heart to Peyton, to Rachel to everyone but me. When it will be my turn?" she asked sadly
"Brooke…"
"No tell me, Luke. Because ever since I was 16 I was second best in your heart. You never let me all the way in" she sobbed
"Hey I love you Brooke"
"But tell me why, you have to tell my why"
"Because you crinkle your eyebrow when you are trying to be cute. Because you fought for me even when I didn't for you. Because 7 years ago, I found you in the back seat of my car and my whole world changed. Because every time I saw you on the television with some other idiot, my blood boiled. Because you are the girl behind the red door, and you always will be. Because even when we are apart I want you near. Because even if I don't show you how much I love you, I want you to know that you will be in my heart forever. Because you wrote me 82 letters that showed me how beautiful your heart is. Because you are a great mother to Ella, and you don't to even know it. Because when I went back into the school that day, all I could think of was you, and that you were safe-"
"Luke-"
"Not wait let me finish. Because you are stronger then you could even possibly imagine, standing up against your mother time and time again. Because you have the biggest heart of anyone I know, and I just want to be the biggest part of it. Because every time I went to New York the past 5 years, I looked for you, and it frustrated me because I knew you were living there without me. Because you were my first-my first kiss, the first girl I had sex with, the first girl I loved, the only girl I have ever loved. You don't get it, Brooke-you think you needed saving all those years ago-you were wrong, because you saved me. Because being in your arms, I feel I can do anything, be anyone. I missed you everyday for 5 years before you walked back into my life. Every time it snowed, I reached for the phone, but I didn't call you because I was afraid. I promised myself if I got that second chance with you, I wouldn't let you go, Brooke. But I did. And I am so sorry for that, and I want to make it up to you, any way I can. I love you, Pretty Girl. I'm the guy for you Brooke Davis"
"You know say that, Lucas, but do you really mean it?"
"Of course I mean it Brooke"
"Everyone knows that you have a way with words, Lucas. But you don't realise how they hurt me. When we were going out in senior year, every time you asked about Peyton, every time you saved her, it hurt me, Luke. Didn't you realise how much you hurt me? Even when I slept with Chris, you used words as weapons. Now with Rachel, the woman you had a serious relationship with, you declare your love for her!!."
"You have every reason to be angry, Brooke, but listen"
"Listen?All I seem to do is listen and understand, Lucas!" she said, pulling the stroller over and flopping down on the nearest bench. Her loose auburn curls fell over her face as she rested her head in her hands. Brooke promised herself, after she broke up with him, that he would never see her cry, having the satisfaction to know that he broke her once and for all. This time it was no different.
Lucas stood a couple of metres away from her, unsure whether to approach the mother of his child. So he shoved his hands in his pockets, and stared at the ground. It seemed like light years had passed before either of them said anything.
"Am I just not good enough?" she asked in the smallest of voices.
"Brooke-"
"I don't need another one of your speeches Lucas. Since junior year, since-she let out a loud sigh- Peyton, I have forgiven you, Luke. Why should I this time? Because we have been dancing this circle for 5 years, and I am sick of it, ok? If we decide to do this, it is for keeps, because I don't think my heart can take much more."
Lucas continued to stare into Brooke's eyes. He had loved this girl, this woman, since he was 16, at times aware of it, and others completely unawares and heading in the completely wrong direction. He only truly felt like himself around this rambunctious brunette, and when it came down to it, couldn't imagine is life without her.
"I love you, Brooke Davis"
Brooke looked at the ground, unable to reach his eyes.
"Tell me what happened. The truth" she said firmly
"I told Rach that I loved her, but only as friends, you have to believe me, Brooke"
"Ok" she replied quietly
"Ok?"
She nodded
"Well ok then" Lucas said as he began to rise from the park bench
"Wait" she said, grasping onto his bicep
"What's wrong?"
"Let's just sit here for a while" she said, as she stared at the clouds tumbling over the blue sky
"Ok"
They sat there for hours, not saying a word to each other. Brooke continued to look at the rapidly changing skyline, until the stars shone brightly in the sky. Lucas just looked at her. Her beauty. Her strength. She was his everything.