DISCLAIMER: All characters and settings are the property of J. K. Rowling. I refuse to acknowledge that 'Deathly Hallows' was ever written, let alone published.
Chapter Eight: She Screams For No Man
Severus was currently making his way down into the dungeons contemplating of how hadn't bumped into Granger since his fight with Black; he wanted to talk to her about potions, and her request. Whenever he was in the library he'd found himself looking up at the library door every time it clicked opened thinking it was her, only to find to his disappointment that it was some nameless student he didn't know. He'd also noticed that she had failed to attend meal times; he'd also noticed that suspiciously a different marauder or Lily would be missing alongside her, though Pettigrew would always be there day in and day out.
He was brought out of his musings as the sounds of voices hit his ear drums.
"What do you mean you don't think it's a good idea? Of course it's a good idea! That fucking bitch humiliated me! She needs to be put back in her place; she needs to know that it won't be tolerated!" That was undoubtedly Malfoy; nobody could hold a torch to the acidic screams that was Lucius Malfoys rage.
"Yes, forgive me I know that, it's just that they won't let her go anywhere by herself, Black has vowed to himself to protect her." Severus felt his blood run cold. Whether it was from the realisation that they were talking about Hermione or the thought of Black being her knight in shining armour he wasn't sure. Wait, Hermione? Granger! Her name's Granger! And I don't care who protects her! He screamed to himself.
"Well then make him leave her alone. Get Granger to think that she doesn't need a bloody knight! I don't care how you do it just make sure she's by herself all day! You've got 2 days to figure out a plan; if you fail there will be consequences!" He herd Lucius stride away, and he decided that he should get moving again, it was nearly curfew and Slytherin was already behind in house points. He descended the steps lost in thoughts of whether or not to warn the girl, he didn't notice the plump mousey body of a boy hide in the shadows and slip away after he'd walked past it.
-Break-
"I hope you know how absurd this is." She hissed across the sofa in the common room. She'd only agreed to it in the first place knowing that he'd do it anyway. "Do you expect to keep this up for the rest of the year? Don't even talk to me unless it's to say you'll stop following me around everywhere." She interrupted him before he had a chance to speak. She paused waiting for him to speak up. "Well? Are you?"
"Hermione, you know it's for your own good, if Malfoy attacks you then I want to be there" he sounded sorry to hear the words come from his own mouth.
"If? IF?! I think you've made it pretty obvious that he's going to and it's only a matter of time!"She took in a scratchy breath.
"I've told you before Sirius Black that I can handle myself I don't need to be treated like a child. You don't know what I've been through or the kind of world I was raised in! I don't need protecting." She had whispered the last bit but still managed to keep the frustration in her voice. She lowered the finger that she now realised had been poking him in the chest and had the good grace to look slightly embarrassed about it, but she doubted he would notice through the red anger that already tinged her cheeks.
"No Hermione I don't know what it was like for you and do you know why?" She gave a little groan as she knew exactly what the next words from his mouth were going to be. "Because you refuse to
tell me; you skirt around the subject like it's a wizarding flu epidemic! Why can't you just trust me?" he let out a shallow breath. "Please."
Hermione looked into his eyes and she saw the longing there once again. She'd had this conversation with him numerous times, and every time she had made up some excuse not to answer him. She knew he was right, she did owe him answers but she couldn't bring herself to tell him. She placed her hand gently on his cheek and felt her eyes water up.
"I can't."
"Yes you can, you just don't want to."
Peter squeaked from behind Hermione as if he wanted to say something. She whipped around and snarled at him.
"What do you want?" He looked frightened with his hands clenched together in front of his mouth and his hunched posture wasn't anything to desire. Scratch that, he didn't look frightened he looked like the disgusting weak rat that he was. He spluttered something unintelligible, Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose realising that she may have been a bit harsh. "Look, I didn't mean to snap at you it's just I haven't been sleeping well." That was the closest thing to an apology she would ever give him, he seemed to brighten up slightly and when he spoke she could understand every syllable.
"I was just going to say that maybe it's a good idea for you to be on your own, all you ever do is study in the library anyway. I doubt Lucius has ever stepped a foot in there since he's been here." Hermione frowned at the plump boy thinking that he had obviously hadn't heard the whispered conversation between herself and Sirius. Hermione opened her mouth with a thousand insults on the tip of her tongue; they were about to spring forth when she heard Sirius give a sight of defeat.
"Fine have it your way. Besides I was getting tired of standing outside the library for hours on end, the weekend is nearly over and I need some relaxation." He waved it off and walked back up to the boys' dormitory to sulk in defeat. She looked after the boy and realised that he felt defeated in more ways than the argument that was audible to the common room. Hermione turned back to Peter and gave him a nod of thanks before skipping out of the fat lady's portrait to go anywhere she pleased as a relatively free woman.
Her happy mood diminished when she realised where she stood, her feet had brought her down to the dungeon steeps, she was confused to say the least, and she had no reason to be here. She heard footsteps coming up the stairs; she turned around looking for somewhere to hide quickly. Damn it, why don't they have any cupboards or hidey holes down here? She sense a body behind her, ignoring the instinct to run she turned around let out a thankful sigh when she saw Snape.
"What are you doing here? Where's one of your little heroes? " If it weren't for the look of seriousness on his face then Hermione would have... well she didn't know what she would have done, but she definitely would have done something nasty.
"I convinced them that I can handle myself, which I can. What does it matter to you anyway?" she crossed her arms over her chest and straightened her back defensively. Severus saw her body language change and he automatically went on the defensive to match her.
"It doesn't; I couldn't care less what happened to you." He pushed pass her deliberately knocking hard into her shoulder. She stared at his rapidly disappearing back and decided to run after him; she didn't know why but she felt like there was something she needed to know from him.
"Hey Snape wait up there's something I need to ask you." She skidded around the corner and knocked into him, well at least she thought it was him for a second before she looked up into cold grey unforgiving eyes.
"Hello Granger." Lucius Malfoy drawled from above her, she tried to take a discreet step backwards but he'd caught the movement and grabbed a hold of her wrist. "Where do you think you're going wench? I thought we could have a little... fun" Hermione could see his tongue lick his lips while he looked her up and down, she could feel the bile rise up but she pushed it back down.
"Didn't you have enough 'fun' the last time you tried to attack me? I know I certainly did." she just had time to smile up at him before his hard fist connected with her cheek; effectively wiping the smile off her face and sending her flying to the stone floor. She heard snickers from behind him and she looked up realising for the first time that they weren't alone; she couldn't make out the other two faces from the darkness but she had a pretty good idea of who they might be.
"You will learn to respect your betters you stupid wench." She looked back up to him ignoring the prickling tears in her eyes, from the bruise his punch had surely left behind, and had to bite down on her lip to stop the backchat from escaping her mouth. "Did you honestly expect to make a fool of me and get away with it so easily?" She still didn't give him the satisfaction of rising to his bait and kept her mouth shut. He looked at her before yanking her up and throwing her against the wall; her back smashed into it leaving her gasping for breath. He walked menacingly towards her before stopping and inch in front of her and leaning towards her ear.
"You'll be screaming before this night is over Granger." She could feel his hot breath in her hair and it sent disgusted shivers down her spine; he'd obviously mistook these shivers for meaning something else as he started nibbling on her neck. She took advantage of the situation by pulling his body closer to hers and wrapping one leg around him. He ground his hips into hers and she gave out a sweet moan while moving her head to the side, giving him better access to her neck. He took his free hand, that wasn't supporting him against the wall, and grabbed roughly onto her leg that was hooked around him. She brought her lips up to his ear and whispered to him in a menacing voice.
"I scream for no man." Using her hands that were clutched in his shirt she shoved him away from her roughly, and she pushed the leg that was hooked round him into the crook of his knee; effectively making him collapse to the ground. She pulled out her wand and pointed it into his face; before she could use it she felt two other wand tips press into her back. Hermione lowered her own wand and watched as Malfoy got up with a smirk on his face.
"You really think you can beat me? You'll never be able to touch me you pathetic excuse for a witch!"
"I could beat you with my eyes closed Malfoy, you're just to coward to attack me by yourself, instead you have to bring your little cronies along for the ride." She knew as soon as the words were out of her mouth that she had taken a step too far over that invisible line. He pulled out his wand and Hermione did nothing to stop him, there was no point when she had these two goons behind her.
"Crucio" She felt the effects immediately and fell to the floor jerking awkwardly in pain. She clamped down on her bottom lip to stop a cry escaping her lips, this made it had for her to breathe and she felt her vision blur from lack of oxygen. Malfoy continued his torture for a full minute before lifting the curse and hauling her to her feet.
"Why won't you scream wench? Do you like it? I bet you do you filthy whore." She barely had time to catch her breath before her had his lips crushed to her own in a fierce one sided kiss. Hermione could taste her own blood in his kiss and guessed that she had done damage to her bottom lip while she had been biting down on it in pain. She struggled against him trying to push him away but found that he had put his muscles to good use this time; she had no leverage over him. He forced her mouth open and slipped his tongue inside her mouth, tasting every inch of her mouth. If the hardness she felt pressing against abdomen was any indication as to where this was going then she had to do something, fast. She looked around frantically trying to find anything that would help her, she noticed that the two goons were at either end of the hallway keeping guard, and were out of earshot. She felt Malfoys hand sneak up her blouse and trace underwire of her bra, she could physically feel the bile rising slowly up. She tried to say something to him, through the still ongoing kiss, but no sound was coming out of her mouth. She realised that he must of spelled her silent, and wondered momentarily when that had happened before coming back to her senses and grabbing hold of her forgotten wand once again. She didn't need a voice to cast a spell and she silently thanked Remus for training her expertly in this handy technique, two summers ago. Before Malfoys hand that was creeping up her thigh could get and further she silently said the spell in her head and watched as Malfoy fell stiffly to the floor in front of her, frozen but still awake. She quickly looked to make sure his accomplices were still none the wiser; they weren't, and she lifted his spell from herself enabling her to speak again. She looked at his shocked eyes and smiled while bringing her fingertips down to brush along his swollen red icy lips.
"Aren't we the little sadist?" she saw his eyes flash in anger, it made her smile wider. "I'll warn you this one time that if you ever try to attack me again I won't hesitate to kill you." She heard pounding feet coming from the left end of the corridor, turning her head she saw that it was in fact Crabble, senior to her, running towards them. "I think we're done here, don't you?"
Hermione moved just in time before Crabble could reach her, the boy not anticipating her quickness didn't have time to change tactics. Hermione watched as if slow motion as the burly boy tripped over Malfoys body and was sent crashing into the wall head first, effectively knocking him out cold. The loud thud of commotion must have grabbed Goyle's attention as he was now running towards her as well. Not resisting the approaching eye roll Hermione pulled out her wand, muttered a well aimed 'Flipendo', and watched while he too lost consciousness as he hit the wall with a sickening crunch. She looked from one boy to the next and lowered her wand with a shaky hand, it was in these seconds that she realised the gravity of the situation, and what it could have became.
She fled from the scene as fast as her legs could take her, she turned corner after corner not knowing or caring where she was heading. She flew past portrait after portrait; she even flew past the fat lady without noticing or hearing as the lady called after her. She finally came to a halt when her legs gave out from underneath her, landing on her knees and palms. Felling a cold gust of wind whip around her body she gave an uncontrolled shiver and looked down at the stony slabs beneath her, trying to turn her breathing from short pants to longs steady breaths. She noted that the slabs were different from the ones that lined the hallways and guessed that she had somehow managed to come to a balcony, or the roof top.
Once her breathing had steadied she took the moment to drink in her surroundings, the nonexistent ceiling, the pillars that lined the walls, the telescopes that were dotted around pointing towards the starry sky and the weird solar system/planet gadgets that nobody had ever really understood. She couldn't manage to let out a gasp at the realisation that she was in the astronomy tower, the place where Dumbledore would die, taking Harry's heart with him. Gathering a fraction of her shaky energy back she managed to push herself from the centre of the room to the far wall; where she promptly slumped against it like jelly.
She may not have been there to see the tragic events that took place that night, but she was the one that had to bear witness to the after effects of it all, and to Hermione was far worse. She hadn't had time to mourn the loss of a safe world because, along with Ronald, she had to look after Harry as he dug himself further into his depression, cutting himself off from emotions and from the Order seeking release in the dark arts.
As she sat her lungs seemed to grow cold and she found it hard to breathe, she looked around thinking that tears would fall at the memory of it, and that she would gladly welcome them for once. She closed her eyes in desperation as she waited for them. They never came; no salty liquid or glistening tear fell. She looked to the sky wondering if she had really become that cold, or if being in this world had turned the memories into just that, simply a memory. With a wandering mind Hermione spent the night looking towards the stars waiting for the glow of a sun to reach up and warm her heart.
-Break-
"Did you hear... Lucius Malfoy... found in the corridor by... Crabble and Goyle were knocked out... who done it... they refuse to speak about it" Hermione only caught snippets of conversation on her way down to breakfast, but it wasn't hard to get the general gist of the latest gossip. She knew if they kept talking then Malfoy would get angrier and angrier but she honestly couldn't care less at the moment, what was done and she was glad that she'd got one up on him again, even if it was at a price. She slid into the seat next to Remus, grabbed some toast and started to slather strawberry jam on it.
When she saw Sirius sit opposite her she tried to catch his eye but he was pointedly ignoring her presence, it didn't take a genius to see that he was still upset about their argument yesterday. She gave up and turned back to eating her toast. She felt Remus gently nudge her side and turned towards him repressing an annoyed growl. She felt his eyes rake over her dishevelled appearance, from her wrinkled clothes to the bags under her eyes to the poorly glamoured bruise on her cheek. She could hear the clogs working in his head and was given confirmation when he nodded towards the Slytherin table, where Lucius was currently killing her with his eyes. She gave Remus a weary smile a small tired shrug; she knew that he knew but was certain he wouldn't tell.
The gossip mill in the hall promptly stopped when the morning post arrived, bringing with it darker news than any would have liked. A large brown tawny owl landed gracefully in front of Lily, who took the newspaper and gave it a rash of bacon, for it hard journey, before sending it back on its way. Hermione watched as Lily read, her hands began to shake and her eye's began to well up, she finally let out a strangled cry and threw the news paper down face up on the table when she'd finished reading. Wandering what had prompted such a violate reaction from the normally stable girl Hermione scanned the newspapers heading.
'DEATH EATERS ATTACK MUGGLE VILLAGE, DOZENS DEAD.'
Hermione looked back at Lily who was now weeping in James's arms, her own eyes began to sting from the sheer force of Lily's emotions, but no tears fell. She looked around the hall and noted that half of the occupants, the muggle half, had had similar reactions to Lily's. She looked up towards the professors table only to find the headmasters eyes were already on her, as if he were asking if she knew this would happen. She gave him a sincere shake of her head, and turned back to her breakfast; she wasn't able to bear the look pain in his eyes. Of course she had known that it was round about now that Voldemort had started to come out in the open, but she had no idea of specific dates for attacks, there were far too many for one person to know.
The weather must have sense the sombre change in the castles residents, for it took on the appearance of dull grey clouds from which rain lashed down for the remainder of the day. Lessons consisted of individual work that was easy enough for a first year, the teachers reasoned that they needed something to keep their minds occupied and wouldn't cause them stress. Hermione thought that it was an overreaction to the news but then she remembered that for her it meant nothing more than another attack, but to them it was the start of a war, one which they dreaded to think about and one which they weren't prepared for. As every hour came and passed students and teachers alike grew drained and wanted nothing more than the solace of their beds.
Hermione too would have welcomed the thought of night time slumber but all that came within her sleep were night terrors. So while every resident Gryffindor was tucked away in bed she was in the common room staring heatedly at the book. Just reach over and open it, seriously what's the worst that could happen?... oh I don't know, maybe I would land another twenty years back in the past... come on you know that's not going to happen, it would have sent you there in the first place if that's what it wanted. Just open it for crying out loud, you promised you would. Hermione cut herself off from the argument she was having with herself. She was right, she had promised herself last night in the astronomy tower that she would put everything she had into finding a way back to her own lifetime. If that meant that she had to start with this book, this nondescript evil book of his and apparently her own, then so be it. She reached over to pick it up but in a moments hesitations she flexed out her fingers above it in the moonlight, then grabbed it forcibly in both hands. She was just about to lift the cover when she heard a voice behind her.
"You've been looking at that book as if it's going to murder you." She gave a light hearted chuckle and watched Sirius come around the sofa to sit beside her on it.
"I wouldn't be surprised if it did. What are you doing up anyway? I thought you went to bed hours ago?" She tried to steer the subject away from herself and the book but from the look in the boys eyes he would have none of it.
"I did but I couldn't sleep, there was this little voice in my mind telling me to haul my arse up and come down here. So what's with the book then Granger?" Hermione raised her eyebrow at the use of her last name, and the fact that he didn't recognise the book. She turned it over in her hands so he could see it properly.
"You don't recognise it Black?" He squinted his eyes and searched the cover, when he was finished with his inspection he shook his head.
"No, even in this poor light I'd still be able to recognise book if it was important to me. why? Should I be able to recognise it?"
"It's important to me and no, I don't suppose you should be able to recognise it." She concentrated on his face. "It's the book that you found when I appeared in Grimmauld Place, do you remember it now?" She watched his face light with understanding, he was probably recalling the information from the story she had told himself and Headmaster Dumbledore.
"This is THE book." She gave him a nod. "Well what are you waiting for? Open it up, let's solve this mystery." She gave him another nod and went to lift the cover; her hand was shaking betraying her trepidation of it. Sirius must have noticed because in the next second she felt his hand slip into her free one and he silently moved closer. With his courage settling on top of her own she lifted the lid. No hell portal opened, no ferocious beast jumped out at her, not even a mouse stirred in the silence; she let out the breath she'd been holding in.
She noticed Sirius looking at the bottle and she instantly snatched it from it resting place, it's not that she didn't trust Sirius; she just didn't want his curiosity to get the best of him. She herself had yet to find out was the memories were, and was pretty sure she never wanted to, let alone let him take a peek at them. He made no comment of the action, instead opting to read the words that were forming on the inside cover. They were the same as the first time so she just listened to him read.
"In war you'll find a time of peace, with the loss of others comes new release. A beginning of new life, a beginning without strife" He gave an abrupt Snort, to which Hermione gave him a questioning look.
"You haven't had a moment's peace or a day without strife since you got here." Her eyes grew wide, prompting him to explain what he meant. "Oh come off it Hermione, Remus wasn't the only one to notice your appearance this morning. The bruise on your cheek, the bags under your eyes, Malfoys attack and him sending death rays towards you at breakfast. It doesn't take a genius to work out what happened." Her eyes filled with guilt at the memory of last night.
"I'm sorry Sirius I know I should have listened to you but you've got to understand that I need my freedom and that I can defend myself against far worse people than Lucius Malfoy."
"It's okay, I realise that I was being overbearing but I just wanted to protect you. So what happened last night then?" She smiled at him but in the next instant her eyes grew as dark as the night that lay outside, and she turned back to the book.
"I'd rather not talk about it; let's just concentrate on the task at hand." She gave a loud snort at her own words, "not that I even know what help this book is going to be, I think more than anything I just wanted to confront it"
"Okay well start with the basics: 1- what promise is it that this mentions? 2- Who does the writing belong to?" She decided to answer the latter question first.
"'The secrets you hold are still meant to be untold; you'll know when to look when you pass through the fold.' that's my writing, though needless to say I can't remember writing it; probably due to the fact that I haven't written it yet. The other script belongs to somebody who I know, thought I'm not telling you their name and before you go into the whole 'not trusting you' speech, it has nothing to do with trust I just don't feel ready to tell you ,as it would lead to other questions that I can't answer." She saw her words work their way around Sirius's mind, when it was processed he gave a little nod that she was thankful for.
"The poem is a different matter as I know not of whom it belongs to." Sirius gave another nod. "The promise eludes me at the moment also, as this person has never made me a promise, and I'd never expect them to either."
"And the bottled memory? I suppose you haven't looked yet?" She gave a shake of her head and he understood that somehow she knew it wasn't time yet. "Well then I guess we can't get any further with it until you do, so we'll just have to let everything play out until the time comes. Pack up and go to bed?" the both agreed and began to pack up her belongings. Once they had finished they climbed up their respective star cases.
"Hey Black!" she shouted back down and waited for his reply, noting how her voice echoed through the now soulless common room.
"Yeah Granger?"
"Thank you." She could almost see and feel his smile through the layers that divided them and it solidified her want to always be his friend, and the need to do anything that would save him. She needed no other acknowledgement than that feeling, so she scuttled up the stairs and headed to her bed. She had no illusions that she'd sleep peacefully for the next 4 hours but she resigned herself to it and let the demons invade her dreams with ease.
Authors Notes- As I have writers block on nearly all of my other stories (on this site and others) I decided to update this one, which I originally started when I had a bad case of 'I-Can't-Be-Arsed-To-Write-Anything-Else'. So long story short; this has become my writers block story. But if you wish it so I will continue to update this regularly.
Review if you'd like to. (I hate people who just read and never review –I'm one of those people though-)