AN: Alright I'm here, there was something happening so I couldn't use the keyboard thingamabobberdohickey. Heh, hickey's are what John's gonna get when he's older!
John and Rose exchanged glances at Roxy as she jabbered away to Calliope. "and you say i'm the chatterbox." He pointed out.
"Well you can't blame me, your breathe class does seem to aid you, Roxy just has a lot of air." Rose explained. "Probably thanks to you." She added.
"i don't get it…" He muttered before groaning. "roooooooose! don't say stuff like that!" He complained.
"I can't help it, I ship it so hard, so hard that if the ship was a physically object it would be incredibly hard and powerful." She said seriously.
"and, uh… i forget what happened next…" Roxy trailed off. "johnny? wha' happened again?" She asked.
"with what?"
"when we got together silly!"
"yeah but when?"
"after rosey got hit in the head with a brick!"
"I was hit with a brick?!" Rose asked, having no memories of it.
"yeah, you got a concussion and got knocked out, that's why you don't remember me and rox getting together." John explained. "anyway…"
Flashback
John, having been adopted and renamed John Egbert 4 years ago on the 13th of April, or what was legally his birthday, was hanging out with his two friends, Roxy and Rose, he didn't know where the rest of his friends were, or if they could still use their powers, despite many attempts to find out.
"you know, i really feel like something's up here." John said with a shrug.
"Well, it's not exactly worth crying over if you forgot something right? Just tell me and I'll write it down." Rose assured him.
"yeah i guess." He agreed.
"heh, it's not like were gonna die and the world'l end, theres no sburb rigth? Right?" Roxy asked, correcting herself.
"We shouldn't, but with our luck… Let's hope not." Rose decided.
In a nearby area, a round boy watched as the freak hung out with two hot girls jealously, a freak shouldn't be allowed to have nice things, he picked up a rock and aimed carefully at the freak, then threw.
John bent down to sort his shoelaces out while Rose waited for him to do so, standing right behind him, before the rock hit Rose right in the head, knocking her out. "there we go!" He said happily, before turning around to see rose. "uh… rose?" He asked worried. "rose, please wake up…" He murmured worried for his friend.
"john, wat'r yu doin'?" Roxy asked confused, turning around to find John leaning over Rose. "ooh… sloppy makeouts? why didn't you tell me?" She asked instantly.
"i-it's not what it looks like!" John shouted.
"it looks lik yur gettin' redy for a sloppy makeout." She told him drunkenly.
"no! rose got hit on the head with something and got knocked out!" He explained.
"oh, that's not good." She noted, still a little drunk somehow.
"… how are you drunk? we're eight." He wondered.
"an i'm rich!"
John nodded, it made sense in a way, he then looked around for whoever threw the rock.
The boy scowled, the freak had dodged it and the rock had hit the hot chick, he still had more rocks though… He prepared another one and threw it.
John saw the rock out of the corner of his eye as it approached, but he wouldn't have any time to get out of the way… In a panic the wind suddenly blew and the rock was sent flying back to the sender, hitting him in the part-that-shall-not-be-named, let's go with that.
"ouch, thas gon' hur in the mornin" Roxy pointed out, hearing the thud and whimpering.
"yeah, i guess… but how did…?" He wondered, focusing on making the wind form a shape, the gusts being bright blue and swirly. "heh, guess i still have my powers!" He said happily.
"awwww ye!" Roxy shouted, high fiving him.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a flash of metal in a shape he recognised, quickly he jumped on top of Roxy, pressing her against the ground as something cut through the air where they had been.
"sloppy makeouts?" Roxy asked confused.
"no, gun just got fired." He said with a sigh embarrassed.
"no i meant do you wanna do one?"
"uh… sure?" He asked without really thinking.
"great!" Roxy shouted, pulling him into a kiss.
Present
"-and that's basically what happened, it was very weird…" John finished telling the tale.
"dude that's the dumbest way to find out your powers still work" Dave told him with a grin.
"nah, that'd be rox."
"yeah it was purty drum! … pretty dumg! … pretty dung… ah forget it…" She muttered, unable to correct herself.
"pretty dumb." John said for her.
"and what did she do?" Dave asked.
"pumpkins." They said in sync. "all of the pumpkins, all of them!" They continued to say in sync.
"Roxy created a mountain of pumpkins, perfectly generic objects and other random dodads." Rose explained. "Rose and John then proceeded to have another sloppy makeout on top of the mountain." She added.
"i dont want to hear about that so please shut your face hole" Dave begged.
"At least you haven't made any Freudian slips yet about, and I quote, 'john's hot mom, I mean, john's hot mom'." Rose pointed out, with a smirk.
"y'know what, i'm not even going to react, i'm not a hypocrite."
"heh, hippo." Roxy snickered.
"shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up" Dave chanted.
"Well… I'm flattered, I think…" Jane said, shuffling away from Dave.
"oh come on Its roses fault" Dave tried to defend himself.
"And how brother, is it my fault."
"so, didn't you two have a lot of romantic tension before the whole ectobiology thing?" john asked.
"dude dont remind me about me" Dave complained.
"just saying, maybe it's in your genes to make those hot mom slip ups." John pointed out.
"It… Is possible, but unlikely." Rose decided.
"ENOuGH OF TALKING ABOuT THE JANE HuMAN!" Caliborn decided.
"dude, you're a human now." John pointed out.
"IT'S A MANNER OF THOuGHT." Caliborn explained. "I'VE THOuGHT OF MYSELF AS A CHERuB FOR LONGER THAN I HAVE A HuMAN SO IT'S EASIER."
"i guess that makes sense?"
"Gadzooks! Everyone's here!" A voice said excitedly with dumb old timey words."
"… what does gadzooks mean and why is familiar?"
"uh… it's what jakey said in our timeline." Roxy pointed out.
"Roxy! You're here as well! It's great to see you!" The voice said happily as a boy's face got very close, causing Roxy to fall onto the floor in shock. "Sorry!" The boy said worried.
"i's find jakey…" She muttered, getting back up.
"Are you drunk? That's not very wise!"
"she's just tired, she always seems drunk when she doesn't get a good nights rest or gets a lot of excitement along with a bad night." John explained.
"You… You're Jade's ectobiological father correct?" Rose asked.
"Something like that? I don't really remember."
"Do you know where she is?"
"Ah! Now that i do know!" Jake said happily. "She's… Uh… She's… Well, this is a little embarrassing." He trailed off.
"BOO!" A girl's voice shouted from under the table, making everyone jump and then look under it. "hi guys!" She said happily, crawling out.
"jade!" John shouted happily.
"hi john!" She said happily, hugging him tight, enough to make him red in the face.
"can't… breathe…" He gasped out.
"sorry! i thought you didn't need to breathe!" Jade apologized, dropping quickly.
"how did you get so strong?" He asked as Roxy helped him up.
"well… i took some martial arts classes, practiced my powers and weapons… just kept in shape." She explained with a shrug.
"Well then, could you please refrain from hugging anyone else that hard without any warnings?" Rose requested.
"ok! so… are they dating?" Jade asked, nodding towards John and Roxy, who were eating together and flirting between each other.
"Yes, apparently it happened because I was hit with a rock, which just makes me annoyed."
"alright so ive been wondering this for a while and hoping youd bring it up but why are you wearing your outfits?" Dave asked confused.
"kanaya made them for us! she wasn't feeling well so she's arriving later." John explained.
"John, did you return Dave's turntables to him yet?" Rose asked.
"oh! i actually forgot!" He said with a grin, pulling two turn tables out of thin air. "here you do!"
"dude this is sick i can do my shit once again" Dave said with a smirk, spinning them around in the air like a badass.
"so does anyone want to explain whats happened to karkat for me? cause i aint lookin forwards to that" Dave asked.
"Karkat's here?" Rose asked curiously, watching with a smile as Roxy and John kissed each other once again.
"OF COURSE I'M HERE! IS YOU'RE THINKPAN THAT ROTTEN AFTER A SINGLE REBIRTH? WOW, NO WONDER YOU DIDN'T THINK OF JUST GETTING DAVE'S BUTTSPEAKER!" A voice shouted from behind her, making her jump.
"dude i lost the buttspeaker weeks ago when you borrowed it" Dave pointed out, pulling mr angrypants next to him.
"OH. SORRY ABOUT THAT I SUPPOSE." He told Rose.
"It's quite fine, I have no irritation towards you at this point in time." Rose said with her big words.
"SO, THEIR MATESPRITS NOW? GUESS I CAN TICK OFF ROXYGEN." He asked, pulling out a notebook.
"Wait, that's canon?" Rose asked in shock.
"ALONG WITH BREATHALYZER, BUT ROXYGEN IS BETTER." He explained.
"told you it was canon! i warned you not to argue!" John shouted happily.
"Along with Davekat… I won't challenge your shipping titles again. I have experienced true defeat and humbly bow down to both of you in ships." Rose said seriously.
"woo!"
"I should have told mother not to let him on the internet, but he was so happy…" Rose muttered to herself.
"i ship everything!" John declared happily.
"Alright John, now calm down, you're a bit crazy today."
"well my friends are all here, and we're all alive, and i've got a girlfriend, and davekat is canon!" He told her with a big grin.
"Yes… Yes it is."
"Gadzooks! I forgot about dirk! Where is he?!" Jake asked worried.
"hes off doin his own thing somewhere or whatever like hes his own boss i cant tell him what to do" Dave said shrugging.