I have been given a mission. A mission to retrieve Queen Chrysalis's... teddy bear. Why would Red steal a teddy bear? What kind of person steals a teddy? I don't go around swiping people's teddies. Was teddy bear code for something?

Maybe it would be worth a lot if she sold it, I don't know. Maybe there's some kind of gem in it. If that were the case, Red would've dumped the bear somewhere. She said that Red had artefacts on her. What kind of artefacts does she have? What do they do? What powers does she have?

It probably wouldn't be easy to get information out of her. She didn't have anything on her when she came here. At least, I didn't see anything. Did she really have it on her, or was Queen Chrysalis messing with me? She probably wouldn't come all this way just to poke fun at me.

This would be a fun next few days.

After speaking to Chrysalis, I continued on my route home. As I got to my door, I briefly looked behind me, but saw nothing.

I walked in to see Celestia sitting on the couch. I gave her a friendly, "Hey, Celestia."

She looked up to me and smiled. Then she frowned. "What's that red mark on your face?"

"Whoa... Isn't that a hand? Someone slapped you!" Red let out as she saw my face.

"This is just something a rude customer gave me while I was working. She did not like me."

"What happened?" Celestia asked, an innocent concern in her voice.

I told her what happened at work today, including the part where I told Sarah the story of the robbery, which I also told Celestia.

Red laughed. "You're a real charmer, aren't you?"

"I'm rather surprised." said Celestia, "I never knew you were so... courageous."

I didn't say anything about Queen Chrysalis to them. It didn't seem like she was here to do any harm, so I didn't have a reason to out her just yet. Besides, it'd just make everything more complicated.

"I'm gonna go shower." I said.

"Ca..." Celestia started to talk, but then she glanced at Red and stopped herself, a disappointed look on her face. I think she had less than pure intentions.

I left the two of them for the basement to get some clothes. This reminds me, I had to wash Red's clothes, including her delicates. She showered yesterday, right? Yeah, her clothes were different. What was she wearing underneath?

It wasn't the same thing, I could see those right now. Looks like she got her own set of clothing. Was she even wearing anything? Maybe Celestia's underwear. Her bra wouldn't fit Red, it's too big. Well actually, it might. Red has a decent chest on her.

Clothing wasn't really a concern, though. I was just the guy that cleans them. If they didn't complain, I didn't consider it an issue. I was still a little uncomfortable cleaning Celestia's underwear, though. Now I had to clean Red's underwear, and that just made it worse.

My shower was uninteresting. Nothing special. We needed more hair care products. How else am I supposed to keep the shine on my luxurious mane? Both Celestia and Red put a lot of care into their hair.

I was thinking about what Chrysalis had said. She said she would reward me handsomely, but how? So strange. She might have the information we need. Maybe she'll pay me. Ponies don't use the same currency, though...

Did she have a place here? Was she trapped like Celestia and Red? I'd offer for her to stay at my house if it weren't for Celestia. That'd probably lead to some kind of murder. Red is enough as it is. I couldn't see myself making it a foursome no matter how hard I tried.

I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off with a towel. I looked at myself in the mirror. My six-pack was long gone. Haven't been to the gym in at least a year. I wasn't fat, but I wasn't skinny. How much did I weigh right now? I had no idea. Still buff though, which was nice. Had a lot of hair right now. Maybe I should get a haircut. Maybe not. I kinda liked when my hair was long. I'll ask Celestia.

"Um, Phil? Your phone rang." Celestia said to me through the door.

"Did you answer?" I asked her.

"No, I thought it would be best if I told you."

"Did it say who it was?"

"Your grandmother."

"Really? Alright, be out soon."

I shaved my face, and after I was adequately dry, I put on my clothes and walked back to the front room.

Celestia gave me my phone and I called my grandma back.

"Hey gramma! What's up? I saw you called." I cheerfully asked her. It wasn't every day we talked.

"Hi Phil, are you free today?"

I looked to Celestia. "Am I free?" I asked her.

She shrugged. "Why are you asking me?"

"Yeah, I'm free." I told her.

"Oh, good. You gotta come up here and rake. I called everyone else up too. We're gonna have some ham and pumpkin pie. You like pumpkin pie, right?"

"Yeah, of course I do."

"Well, who was it that didn't? 'Cause I also have apple."

"It was me and it was about rhubarb pie."

"Oh, that's right. Anyways, we have pie and ham and potatoes."

"Yeah, that sounds nice. Alright, I'll be right up. Hey wait, is it alright if I bring a guest or two?"

Celestia gave me a curious look.

"Sure, bring whoever you want."

"Love."

"Love you, too."

I hung up the phone and put it into my pocket. I turned to Celestia with a smile. "Hey Celestia, wanna meet my family?"

She let out a long, happy gasp. "Really?! Of course! That sounds wonderful!"

"Hey, Red."

"Huh? What's... Uh... What?" She was not paying attention at all.

"You coming or staying?"

"Staying?" she asked.

"What? She can't stay here."

"Weren't you keeping a leash on me or something?" asked Red.

"You wanna bring her with?" I asked Celestia.

"Not... really... but we can't just leave her here. Can we?"

"Well, do you want to come with, Red?"

"I... don't know. I mean, I'm sure they're nice and all, but I don't..."

"Care?" I asked.

"Yeah, that's the word. I don't care. That's more of a 'you' thing."

"Yeah, I guess."

"So we... are leaving her here?" asked Celestia.

"Long as she stays here, it's fine." I said, "Are you gonna stay here, Red?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll stay here."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" asked Celestia.

I shrugged. "Nope."

"So you don't think she'll stay?"

"No, she'll stay, it's just not a good idea."

"That makes no sense."

"I don't wanna drag along someone who doesn't want to be there. Besides, the guy I called to help find her will be there. That'd just be awkward."

"How did you find me, anyways? I was hiding myself pretty well, I thought."

"Your hair." I replied.

"Maybe you were tired from hiding all day." said Celestia, "It's not easy to maintain a spell for that long."

"Hmm..."

Celestia looked to me. "Hold on." She reached into her pocket and retrieved her phone. She held it out to Red, who took it. "Use that to get in contact with us."

Red opened it, then closed it again, then looked at the two of us like we were crazy.

"Here." Celestia sat next to her and started teaching her how to use it.

"I gotta get something from the garage. I'll be right back."

I grabbed my keys from the table and went outside to my garage. I kicked the door open, mainly because it was always stuck and had no functioning knob anyways. It was there, but the inside was broken, so I just took it out.

I retrieved my small rake from inside the small garage. I only come in here for my lawn mower and tools so it was pretty dusty. I never cleaned it, but there wasn't really all that much in there anyways.

I opened the trunk of my car and tossed the rake inside. I had a bigger rake in the garage, but it didn't fit in here.

After closing my trunk, I was surprised to see my new friend again, previously hidden by the trunk. Queen Chrysalis... She was still in her disguise.

"Off to grandmother's house?" she asked me.

"Ah Chrysalis, I was just thinking about you in the shower. You spying on me?"

"Of course I am."

"If Celestia sees you, she's gonna beat you. Then she's gonna beat me for talking to you."

She smiled. "You have quite a special relationship with that Princess of yours, you know."

"Yeah, I like to think so."

She reached towards me and placed one of her hands over my eyes to cover.

"What are you..."

She lowered her hand. She had changed forms. Right now, she has taken the form of my girlfriend, Princess Celestia.

"Mmm... Such delicious love." she said, an eerie smile on her face.

"Can you not do that? It's creepy."

"Tell me, can you tell the difference between Celestia and I?"

I looked at her for a small while. "Well, you're wearing her hair wrong, but... no, I guess I can't. You gonna mess with me like that, or something?"

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. I do enjoy this love I feel. You aren't even convinced I'm her and yet it's still so strong. The last time I felt something like this was when I had changed myself into Shining Armor's wife."

"Good for you."

"Oh, you don't like when I take this form, do you..."

"I've seen what you do." I said to her.

"You won't hold it against me that I defeated your beloved Princess, will you?"

"I'm not talking about that."

She smirked. "You're quite the hopeless romantic."

"What exactly is the reward you were talking about?" I asked her.

"You'll see. I'm sure it will interest you. If not, I have many things I can offer to you."

"You really care about your bear, don't you?"

Her personality changed again. She seemed more vulnerable anytime we mentioned it. Emerald flames surrounded her body and she changed back into her first disguise.

"You haven't told anyone about this... have you?"

"Not a word. You should know, you're spying on me."

"I know... I just need to make sure. Thank you for doing this for me. In truth, I had planned on meeting you regardless. Red sped up the process."

"Am I really special enough to warrant a visit?"

"You're drawing quite a lot of attention amongst those interested in the Princess. There are many beings in our world keeping their eye on you."

"Well, that's great. That's just... great. I'm gonna get more and more visitors and they're all gonna mess with me. I'm calling it now, all of you are conspiring against me and laughing at me as you watch me make mistakes. Twenty bucks says Discord shows up next."

I heard his smooth voice in the back of my mind. "Perhaps later. Luna has me running so many errands right now. You seem to have your hands full at the moment. I wouldn't want to ruin it for you just yet."

I grumbled to myself.

"Indeed..." she said with a rather confused look on her face, "You've handled yourself rather well, given the circumstances. You have Princess Celestia quite literally eating from your hands. I've never seen her so... subservient. It wouldn't take but a few small pushes to turn her into your slave."

"Yeah, right after you." I sarcastically let out, "She's just putting on an act to make me feel better.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

"That's just how she acts when she's here. It's not like she's actually like this. I mean, you should already know how she is."

"She's powerful, I know that. More powerful than I am. Perhaps if I spend more time around you, I'll surpass her. Regardless, I'm not going to incite a war for petty revenge. Someone with that much power and pride shouldn't be acting this way towards someone like you. It's as if she's convinced herself that she needs to rely on you."

"Or... she's putting on an act to make me feel better. Don't read into it so much, you'll give yourself a headache."

"She lacks identification. A proper job would be out of the question and she's much too proud to take a menial labor job."

"Proud?"

"You haven't seen it much, have you? I suppose there'd be no reason for Celestia to avoid doing anything considering that you do everything for her. More than everything. You control nearly every aspect of her life here."

"I don't... Do I?"

"You provide her with everything she does and she's much too afraid to leave the house without you."

"I want to take her with me, but she doesn't like the smell of my work."

"You know she'd come with you regardless. What's stopping you?"

"She'd be less comfortable. She can do anything she wants here as long as she's not out in public. She can't be herself, even in this world. I gotta work, that's about all I know. I mean, how else am I gonna get her Twinkies?"

Chrysalis chuckled. "I've known Princess Celestia for a very long time. She is a force to be reckoned with. Immensely powerful and very charismatic. She's an incredible pony, an incredible leader, and an incredible women. I'm not surprised you've fallen for her the way you have. However..." She chuckled again. "I did not expect her to fall for you. However, I think I understand why. She's just as lonely as anyone else. With that loneliness comes a weakness of sorts. You'd understand if you were as old as we are."

"Is this therapy session about done, yet? I gotta go back in before she comes looking for me. And you gotta be gone by the time I get back. You're watching Red, aren't you?"

"I am."

"She might have hidden her stuff somewhere else, so make sure to keep a close eye on her."

"A clever thought. Perhaps it would be more satisfying to you if I hadn't already thought of it."

"Yeah, yeah. Just make sure she doesn't hurt herself."

"I'm not promising that. Tell your grandmother I said hello!" She laughed again.

I turned away from her to head back inside. As I walked in, I could see that Celestia was still talking to Red about the phone.

"What is this?!" Red asked me when I walked in. She was absolutely confused.

"It just works."

"That's not an explanation!"

"Well, it's all you need to know." I said.

I got my phone out and called the one in her hand. As soon as it started ringing, she pulled her hand back, dropping it to the couch. She stared at it.

"Careful with that." I said, "You tell her how to answer it yet?"

Celestia picked it up and gave it to Red, who opened it.

I put it up to my face. "Hello."

She stared at it, then did as I did. "H-hello?"

"See? Easy." I said into it.

She pulled it away from her face. "How... This is normal to you?"

I shrugged. "Yep."

"This is... pretty cool."

"You'll be fine here on your own, right? Yeah, of course you will. We'll probably be gone all day. Just call if you need something, alright?"

"Yeah, I'll try."

I looked at Celestia. "Ready?"

"I'm so excited for this!" she happily let out.

"Good, let's go."

She followed me out to the car, smiling brightly. She's never met anyone in my family. This is gonna be fun.

My grandmother lived about fifteen miles or so north from me. It wasn't a long trip.

She smiled at me as she got into the car. "I can't believe we're actually leaving the house to do something fun. We only ever go shopping."

"Yeah, sorry."

"It's alright. I just like going out."

"We should do it more, then."

She smiled. "Sounds great."

"Buckle."

"Right, sorry."

We left the driveway and I drove us down the street. To grandmother's house we go.

As soon as we got onto the highway that led us out of town, Celestia seemed to get excited.

"Oh, I remember this street!" she said, admiring the scenery of... the trees and farmland, "We had sex right... there." She pointed at the spot I helped Trevor out with his tire.

"That's... right." I said to her, not knowing how else to respond to that. Although I did have one thing to say. "Get your mind out of the gutter."

"I'm sorry. This is the furthest I've been from the city so far. It looks beautiful out here. The smell, not so much." She laughed. There was a distinctly manurey smell in the air.

She was being cute again, more so than usual.

We passed through a town on our way out, Afton. It was pretty small, only a few blocks along our path, as far as I knew. After we passed it, I turned down a road that took me almost directly to my grandma's house, after a few miles, of course.

To the left of us was a river. To be honest, the small road coupled with my general dislike of driving made me hate this road. When two cars went down their respective directions at once I always thought I would slip off and fall into the ditch on one side, or worse, the river to the other side. I never had, and I never would, but I still disliked the road.

Celestia stared out my window at the river. It wasn't much of a spectacle, and the trees kept blocking her view, but she was having fun, which was all that mattered.

"What are you looking at?" I asked her.

"Oh, the... I don't know."

"You know, one of these days I gotta teach you how to drive."

"Teach me to... drive? You mean... to drive a car?"

"Well, what else would I mean, silly?"

"Isn't that... dangerous?"

"No, no... well yes, but no. I don't expect you to get in any sort of accident, if that's what you're asking."

"I... never really thought about it. Do you think I could?"

"You'd do fine. Maybe later on, I'll actually follow through with that."

She chuckled nervously. There was a short pause before she spoke again. "Who do you think is going to be there?"

"My brothers and sisters, most like."

"What about your parents? Are they busy?"

"Well, since it's my mom's mom, my dad doesn't usually show up for these kinds of gatherings. And since my mom passed away, I doubt she'll show up either."

"Your mother... passed? My goodness... My condolences."

"Don't worry yourself over it. That's life... That's what all the people say."

"Well... If it's any consolation... my parents are also gone."

I shrugged. "Yeah, Luna told me. That's not much of a consolation at all, actually."

"Oh, no, no, no... I mean... They died a long time ago... I... You understand, right? Please tell me you understood what I was trying to say."

"Yeah, I get it. You're cute when you're flustered."

"Oh, shush."

I turned down another road after we got into town.

"There it is." I said, parking alongside the curb across the street. I saw two cars in the driveway and two in the street, but I didn't really know whose cars they were. "That one." I pointed across the street.

"It's a cute house. Looks bigger than yours is."

"Gee thanks, Celestia."

"No, I didn't..." She grumbled. "Do you think they'll like me?"

"Of course they will. You're the nicest person I know. Besides, you're my little sunflower, aren't you? It's not like they're gonna say anything bad about you."

"That's still kinda weird. And I'm not little."

"Yeah you are. Are you ready, Celestia?"

"I'm nervous." she said.

"Celestia, everybody in Equestria loves you. I think you'll be able to win over a few more."

She put on a warm smile. "Perhaps you're right."

"Oh, darn."

"Hmm?"

"Ah... It's just... the meal she's serving. It's meat. I... should've picked something up for you. I wasn't thinkin'."

"There'll be other food, right?"

"Well, yeah. Potatoes and pie and stuff."

"I'll just eat that."

"Well... al... Hey, do you... dislike the smell of meat?"

"I couldn't say. The only place that served meat was your place of work, and even then, the smells were very mixed."

"Well, just tell me if you're uncomfortable with anything, alright?"

"Alright."

We both got out of the car. Celestia walked over to me. We briefly looked at each other before turning to go inside. As we walked, Celestia grabbed my hand.

I gave the door a single knock before walking right in, Celestia following close behind. It smelled nice inside, like cooking food.

"Oh, hi Phil." said my grandma as she saw me walk in. She was a short, thin woman in her seventies that looked much younger than seventy, with short, grey-and-blonde hair.

"Nice of you to drop by." said my younger sister, Katie, a taller woman. At the moment, she had green hair.

"Hi Gamma!" I replied, walking to her and hugging her. She was tiny, even smaller than Luna, so I had to actually bend down to do it.

"Did you get bigger since the last time you were here?"

"No, you just shrunk."

She gave me a sarcastic, "Thanks."

"Who's that?" asked Katie, referring to Celestia.

"Hello... My name is Celestia. I'm Phil's... girlfriend." She actually sounded nervous. It was kinda weird. Celestia didn't have any reason to be nervous. She's the Princess of Equestria, nothing should make her nervous. Maybe I just didn't understand her feelings. Who am I kidding, I definitely didn't understand her feelings.

"Oh... Wow... I love the hair."

"Thank you. Yours is quite nice, as well."

"Thanks. It's nice to meet you, I'm Katie."

"I hope you're better than his last girlfriend. I heard she was a real bitch." said my grandmother, as eloquent as ever, "Oh, I'm Sue, by the way."

"Who else is here?" I asked.

"Just Heather. And Lily. Your brothers were busy."

"Alright. C'mon, Celestia. Down here." I waved her over to me as I started towards the stairs.

Celestia smiled as she followed me. My sister and grandmother watched her as she moved, both somewhat confused.

The stairs creaked loudly as we walked down. It was normal here. I saw my other sister downstairs.

"Philly!" A woman ran over to me and hugged me. My sister, Heather. She was a somewhat short woman in her mid-thirties. I didn't actually know her age. "It's been a while. How have... Oh my god, who are you?"

Celestia introduced herself again.

Heather introduced herself to her.

Heather was shorter than Katie and my grandma was only taller than my niece, Lily, and maybe her brother Rick, who was on his computer in the far corner of the basement with Lily. I was still the tallest person here. I win.

"I didn't think Phil would get a real girlfriend." said Heather, "Especially one like you."

I walked over to Rick's desk and smiled at Lily. She had headphones on right now. It took a little while for her to notice me.

She waved at me and gave me a smile. "Hi, Philly!" she happily let out.

"Hi, Lily!" I cheerfully replied to her.

We waved at each other for a small while longer before she returned to her game. It was probably some sort of Frozen dress-up game with Let It Go blaring in the background. Lily loves that song, much to the eventual displeasure of the rest of us, hence the headphones.

"Do you like Apples to Apples?" Heather asked Celestia.

"Hmm?"

"Never played it?"

"No, I don't think so."

"It's a little card game. You'd love it." I said to her.

"Well, I suppose I love it." she said with a smile.

"Alright, that's good."

"Don't we gotta rake?" I asked.

"Well, yeah. I meant we'll play after. Does your friend want to help? Maybe she can take Katie's place in the kitchen. Are you any good around an oven?"

"I... suppose I could help if I were needed." she replied.

"I got it!" Katie called from upstairs.

"Guess you aren't needed up there."

"C'mon Celestia, let's go see the back yard. You don't gotta rake if you don't want to." I said, turning back to the stairs, "I'm gonna start a fire."

The three of us walked back upstairs and out the back door to the connected garage. Katie joined us after we got upstairs. We walked next to the car and out the back garage door.

The backyard was somewhat large, I think. To me, it seemed large. Various pieces of wood were stacked in the back on top of pallets along the chest-high metal fence. Small trees and other plants covered the back fence, blocking most of the view to the neighbor's yard behind us. It looked very nice, actually.

I got to work on the fire while Heather opened the shed. The shed was connected to... an outdoor room of sorts. It had open areas for windows covered in wire and plastic tarp. My grandmother sometimes came out here to enjoy the outdoors and read books. It always stayed somewhat warm, even in the winter. Well, comparatively. In all honesty, I didn't know what one would call it. Anyways...

I walked back and forth between the log pile and the fire pit, collecting smaller pieces and tossing them in. We... called it a fire pit. I don't know if that's what the actual name was. It was a metal bowl about a foot or so off the ground. It's... not important.

I got the matches and my grandmother's paper recycling bin from the garage.

Celestia gazed at the fire pit, but said nothing. What was she thinking? I couldn't tell.

This was peaceful. It would've been a tad more peaceful if Celestia and I were alone, but beggars can't be choosers. I was away from Red with Celestia, which was nice. Red pried too much.

"Phil, get a rake." said Katie.

"You get a rake."

"Phil, get me a rake." she repeated.

"Okie dokie."

I went to the shed door. Inside were three rakes, making our total four with the one I brought in my trunk.

I got two rakes out. As soon as I passed a rake to Katie, Heather said, "Me too."

"Okie dokie." I said to her, going back into the shed.

I heard Celestia chuckle.

When I came back out, Celestia was looking to the leaf-filled yard. It was a lot bigger than my yard. Bigger and more leafy.

"This yard... It looks beautiful." said Celestia.

"Yeah, it looks nice." said Heather.

"Gotta rake it, though." said Katie.

The three of us started to work. This was how it was every year. Our family gathered at our grandmother's house to rake the leaves a few times every fall. We dumped them in the road, ate, played games, then went home. It was all really fun spending time with my family like this.

Celestia was watching us work. Well, watching me, at least. She was happy and I couldn't tell why.

After a while, we were joined by Lily and my grandmother.

"Hey, I seriously love your hair." said Katie, "How'd you get that color to line up like that?"

"I got it professionally done." she replied without hesitating.

"Where? I gotta know."

"I can't remember. Somewhere south."

She was disappointed in her answer.

"Can I... help?" asked Celestia.

We looked to her.

"Yeah, alright. One sec." I said. I walked over to them and set the rake up against Katie's body. "Hold that, I gotta get something from the car."

"Gee, thanks."

I went back out front to retrieve the rake I brought. I tried to trade with Katie as I got back.

"No, I want this one."

"You're just gonna stand there and watch us."

"I'm gonna watch you get hit by a rake is what I'm gonna watch."

"Whatever."

"Here ya go. Have fun." I said to Celestia, holding out my rake.

She took it, looked at it, then looked back at me, a small smile on her face.

"I'm gonna go check on my grandma. Be right back." I said.

I walked back into the house. It was warmer inside than it was outside because of the stove. The smells of the food had gotten even stronger.

"Having fun?" I asked her.

She was sitting at the kitchen table reading a magazine. "Having a blast." she said, "There not enough rakes?"

"We're good. Hey... Celestia doesn't eat meat. Sorry, I should've mentioned this earlier."

"Oh. Well, just have her skip the ham. She can eat pie."

"I guess. I'll tell her what's what."

"Food'll be done in about an hour. I expect that yard to be raked by then."

"You're killing me, small."

"And I got some more paper for you to burn, too."

"Oh, sweet. I love burning incriminating evidence."

"Yeah, yeah."

I headed downstairs and retrieved the bag of paper she kept down there. It was pretty full. Guess it's been a while since we burned it last. I went back out with it. She seemed to have the cooking situation under control.

"I am not used to this." Celestia said aloud as I walked out. She was actually working with the rake, which was a little surprising. To me, at least.

"Having fun?" I asked her.

"I am."

"Good, then you can have fun together." said Katie, setting her rake on the ground and pushing the handle towards me.

I jumped back from it. "You touched it last."

"Oh, shush."

I pushed the rake towards the shed with my foot and set the bag of paper on the ground near the other one.

Celestia walked over to me. "Are you starting the fire?"

"Yep." I replied.

"It's windy here. Are you sure you can get it to start? I can start it with magic, if you prefer."

"You crazy? No, no, I got it. No need to trouble yourself."

"Alright. Suit yourself."

I rearranged the wood I had put in the fire and added some paper to it. After a minute or so dealing with the matches, wind, and paper not catching on fire, I managed to get a rolled up piece of paper to light. I put it down into the pit near another piece of paper. The fire had been started. It'll probably stay up.

"Alright, back to raking." I said after confirming that the fire was going to stay up.

I picked up the rake I had dropped and the four of us continued to work. This was the easy part. Getting the leaves gone... well that was also pretty easy. For the back yard, all we did was make a pile. We usually just load it onto a tarp to drag it out front, but it wasn't out right now, so we just piled it up.

My niece was helping out by picking up handfuls of leaves and throwing them into the pile. She had a cute pink jacket on. It was cute. Celestia liked watching her run around.

Every once in a while, someone jumped in. Usually Lily. It made a mess, but it was worth it. With the size of the yard, it took quite a while to complete our job.

I tended to the fire every so often, making sure it was able to actually start instead of just burning paper. Other than that, it was just leaves. Celestia was working with us the whole while. I was surprised, honestly.

This was fun.

"Think food's ready?" asked Heather.

"It's been ready for like three hours." said Katie.

"We haven't even been here for three hours."

"That's how done it is."

"Food's ready, then." I said.

"Food!"

"Come on Lily, time to eat."

Everyone else filed back through the back door, leaving Celestia and I alone outside.

"What do you think?" I asked her.

"I like them... and they seem to like me."

"They love you."

"So... your last girlfriend was a... bitch, I think your grandmother said?"

"Yeah, she was mean. She's gone now, though. Moved to Italy with her new boyfriend."

"My goodness."

"I'll tell you more about her later, if you're interested. Now's not the time, I don't think."

"No, perhaps not. I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry."

She giggled. "Hmm... Maybe."

I smiled at her.

She sighed. "Perhaps I'll try some of this... meat that your grandmother is serving."

"Really? You don't have to, you know."

"I know. I'm curious. I won't force myself to eat it."

"Well... Alright. If you really want to. Make sure you know where the bathroom is incase things go wrong."

"I'm not going to throw up!" She laughed. "Um... Where is the bathroom?"

"It's... uh... down the hall in the kitchen. Only door on the... right."

She nodded.

The two of us walked back inside, leaving the fire to burn on its own.

Everyone was already in their seat, apart from my grandma. She was pouring milk into a few cups.

"Us too." I said to her.

"Right, I forgot you brought someone."

She reached to the cupboard above the counter and got another cup.

"You got pretty hair." said Lily, who was sat next to Heather.

Celestia looked at her and smiled. "Thank you very much. My name is Celestia. What is yours?"

"Lillian!" she said with a smile.

"And how old are you, little cutie?"

"I'm six!"

"Six! You're so old!"

"No I'm not, you're old."

"Oh, is that so?"

"How old are you, anyways?" asked Heather.

"I'm 27." she replied.

"Older than Phil, huh?"

She nodded.

I sat at the end of the table closest to the door and patted the seat to my right, looking at Celestia. The table was rectangular, so it was around the corner from me.

She sat down and looked to my sisters. They were both looking at her for one reason or another. I didn't know, or really care why. I mean, I had a few guesses, but that was about it.

Katie was a seat down, on Celestia's side, and Heather and Lily were on the opposite side of the table towards the wall.

Celestia looked at the food that had been set on the table. She seemed to instantly know which dish had meat in it.

"Down the hall and to the right?" she quietly confirmed.

"Yep. It loops into the front room. Between here and there."

"Can... you... get it for me?"

I poked a bit of it with my fork and placed it onto her plate. After that, I began to collect food for myself, as everyone else had already done.

Celestia eyed the small chunk of meat on her plate. It was the only thing on it so far. It looked kinda creepy.

"Is everything alright, Celestia?" asked Heather.

"She's a vegetarian, Phil said." my grandmother responded.

"Oh. Well, don't make her eat it if she doesn't want to."

"I don't... want to be rude." said Celestia.

"Oh honey, it's not rude. You don't have to try it on my account."

She was working out some internal problems, looked like. This probably wasn't the best place for this situation. She poked it with the fork that had been set next to her plate, turning it upside-down. "My stomach... feels weird." she said.

"Celestia?"

Her stomach growled, and all of the tension disappeared from her face. She blushed, then began to laugh. "Sorry. That was a bit embarrassing." she said after her giggle fit.

She poked into the ham and lifted it to her face. She stared at it for a small while before smelling it.

"Are you worried it'll taste bad? 'Cause it's good." I said, taking a bite of my own piece. Yep. Good.

"I... don't know."

"Don't force yourself."

I think we were all looking at her, eating a bit as we watched. I would've felt weird with all these eyes on me. Guess she's used to it.

"I don't know how I feel. It seems... normal..."

"It is normal." said Katie, "It's just meat."

"Well for someone like her, maybe not." said Heather.

"I tried being a vegetarian once. I made it like two months before I gave up on it."

Celestia was still staring at it. "I just... all my life, I never... I've never..."

"Wait, you've never had meat? How... are you that big without eating meat?"

Celestia briefly looked at her, but didn't respond.

"This is so strange..."

She brought it closer to her mouth, then hesitated. After a few brief moments, she opened her mouth and took a small bite of the chunk on the fork.

She chewed it for a long while before swallowing. She lowered the fork to the plate.

"So, how was it?"

I lifted my hand and looked at her before returning to Celestia.

She... didn't seem disgusted.

"I don't know what to think." She rubbed her chin with a hand. "Is... Was I wrong? To think this way about meat?" She said to herself.

"There's nothing wrong with not eating meat. We're just different, is all." I said, "Feel bad?"

"It's not bad, it's just..." she paused, staring at the single piece of food on her plate, "It's weird."

"You alright?" I asked her.

My phone started ringing. I sighed and pulled it from my pocket. It said Celestia. Red was calling me? I answered.

"What's up?"

"Oh wow, I didn't think this'd work. So I just talk into it? Uh... I'm bored, what do I do here?"

"You called to tell me you were bored?"

"You said to call when I needed something."

"I dunno. Figure something out."

"But there's nothing here!"

"You can use the laptop."

"I don't know how. Or anything else about it. What even is it? Nevermind."

"There's a pack of cards downstairs on my desk."

"Seriously?"

"Well, what do you want from me?"

"Something to do!"

"Who is it?" asked Celestia.

"It's Red. She's bored." I replied.

"Who's Red?" asked Katie.

I waved my hand at her so she knew that I didn't care enough to tell her.

"What?" asked Red.

"I was talking to Celestia."

"Celestia's there? Tell her I said hi!"

"Red says hi." I said.

"Oh. Well, tell her I said hello."

"She says hello back." I said to Red.

"Tell her I'm bored."

"You tell her."

"I can't."

"Celestia, talk to Red."

I gave her the phone. She took it with a somewhat confused look on her face. "Hello, Red."

I grabbed the roll off my plate and stood up. "Gonna check the fire." I announced.

"Alright." said my grandmother.

I took a bite of the roll as I walked back out through the garage.

It felt like it got colder than before. Probably did. I zipped up my hoodie.

The fire was still going, as was expected. I wasn't gone long. I really liked tending to fires. I poked it with a stick I found earlier in the backyard. I moved the pieces a little and tossed some paper in the hole I created. The flames grew as I did.

I walked to the back fence and retrieved a few medium sized pieces of wood, one of which was an old processed plank. They burned surprisingly well. I dropped them all near the fire before feeding a few of them into it. Sparks rose from the fire as I dropped them partly-strategically into the fire.

After I had put what I could in, I grabbed the paper again. I picked out a crossword puzzle book that had been completed for the most part. These always burned well if I did it properly. First, I tore the back and front page of, exposing the staples. Then, I tore the book as closely as I cloud along the spine. After that, I tore off a few pages at a time and began tossing them in.

This was fun.

Every so often, some pages would fall out, or I would just miss. If they were on fire, I just let them burn. If not, I returned them to the fire.

I saw a place in the pit that wasn't burning, so I stuffed some paper into it, then started to lead a trail of paper to it from the places that were burning. Instead of working out in my favor, I burned my hand and whipped the book into the fire to punish them for burning me. I shook my hand off as I walked back inside.

"What'd I miss?" I asked as I shut the door back up.

"Nothing much." said Heather.

"Okie dokie. Hey Celestia, is Red alright?"

"I think so. She's right, though. It's not particularly fun being alone like that."

I gave her an understanding nod. I needed to find something for her to do. Maybe... Chrysalis was right about me controlling her life. I looked at her plate. It still had the chunk of ham on it. It'd get cold if she keeps ignoring it like that.

"So... you two live together, huh?" asked Heather.

"That's right." said Celestia.

"And... how long has that been going on?"

Celestia looked at me. My turn to answer, I guess.

"Past few months." I said. I guess there wasn't much point in lying at the moment.

"Few months? Are you serious?"

"Man, Celestia... you can do a lot better." said Katie.

"Wow, rude." I replied, "So mean to me."

"Like, a lot better."

"So mean."

"So, uh... How... did you meet?"

That was something we should probably lie about. "We met online." I said.

"You do online dating?" Katie asked me.

"Not exactly."

"Oh, so it was one of those mail-order bride things?"

"Yeah, exactly."

"Why would you need to go online to find someone?" Heather asked Celestia, "Guys should be lining up to date you."

"I'm not comfortable meeting people like that." she said, "I don't get many opportunities to do it anyways."

"You sure put a lot of work into your appearance for someone who doesn't go out much."

"I like how I look." she replied, an innocent tone in her voice.

"Actually, maybe not. Are you even wearing makeup?"

"No, I haven't worn makeup in quite a long while."

"So that's just all natural, huh?"

"Yes, I suppose."

She looked at me. "Does she owe you something? Did you like save her family or something?"

"No, no, nothing like that." said Celestia.

"Is she... Is she really a he?"

"I doubt it." I said.

"Hmm... Celestia."

"Yes?"

"What's 5*5?"

"What? 25. Why?"

"9*8."

"72."

"15*7?"

"105."

"276*47."

"12972." Celestia answered without missing a beat.

The four of us looked at her.

"Is that right?"

"Uhh..."

"276 by... Yeah, it's right." said Heather, showing us the answer on her phone's calculator.

"Wow."

"Well, she's smart and she's got looks. Or she's just Asian... Maybe not. So that just leaves crazy."

"I'm... not crazy."

"That's exactly what a crazy person would say."

"She's right, you know." I said.

"Whose side are you on?"

"I'm on my crazy girlfriend's side."

"So she is crazy?"

"Yeah, she's insane."

"I'm not crazy."

"You'd have to be to date him."

"Why aboose?" I asked her, "Why so aboos-ative?"

"Well, if you put it like that." said Celestia, a smile on her face.

Katie laughed.

"You should get something to eat, Celestia." I said to her.

She looked to her plate with the nibbled on piece of meat. "Maybe."

I reached my fork to her place and poked it, then put it on my plate. "You gonna be alright after eating that, Celestia?"

"I don't think I want any more. It just felt weird."

"Well, alright. Hope I'm not being offensive by doing this, but..." I ate the piece of meat.

"No, no, by all means. It's just... not for me."

"Did it taste good, at least?" asked Katie.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Alright, then."

Celestia started to collect food from the table, a warm smile on her face. She seemed really happy right now. I liked it. Maybe she liked being with my family. Maybe it was more. Katie was looking at her. She had an evil smile on her face.

"Mommy can I go get a juice?" asked Lily.

"Did you already have one?"

"No."

"Then yeah, go ahead."

"Thank you!" she let out before getting up and going down the stairs.

Celestia grabbed her cup of milk. As she brought it to her mouth, my sister watched her.

"Did you fuck her?" Katie suddenly said.

Celestia spit out her milk back into the cup, spilling it. She started to cough.

"You waited until that, didn't you?" I asked her

"Come on, Katie."

"Watch your language at the table."

She laughed at us. "Never fails to amuse me."

Celestia grumbled. She retrieved a paper towel to clean her face.

"Gonna be alright?" asked Katie.

"I'm fine." she replied, wiping the spilled milk from her face.

"Sorry about that, Celestia." I said to her, apologizing for my sister.

"It's... fine." she wiped off whatever had gotten onto her shirt, but was dismayed to find that it was still wet. This time, it actually was her shirt.

"Katie stop abusing my girlfriend."

"I'm fine, I'm fine." said Celestia, "And yes."

"Yes what?" asked Katie.

"Yes, we do have sex."

"Stop encouraging her." I said.

"Oh. Gross."

"Well at least you're doing it safely, right?" asked my grandmother.

"You mean by using condoms?" asked Celestia.

"Celestia!" I let out in shock.

"What else would I mean?"

"Then, no." said Celestia.

"Phil!"

"Phil, you're too young to be having kids." said my grandma.

This is a losing battle. "You guys are weird." I said, standing up with my plate in my hand.

I held my middle finger up at Katie and she returned with a bird of her own, and a friendly, "Fuck you."

I started walking to the back door as I wittingly replied, "No, fuck you."

"No, fuck you."

"Wow, so mean."

"Fuck you."

"No, fuck you."

I had to briefly use my hand to open the door before I flipped her off as I passed through. I closed it behind me.

I went back out to the fire. It looked nice so far. Might need some more wood. I sat at the bench, eating my food. It was pretty good. Sometimes the food we eat isn't the best, but today it's nice.

I had a dinner roll, ham, stuffing, and mashed potatoes. A big event-type of dinner.

"Crap. Forgot my milk." I muttered to myself, making no effort to go get it.

Seems like Celestia wanted to join me. That's nice.

She had her plate with her, and our two glasses of milk. How is she balancing those on the plate like that?

She sat next to me, setting the cups on the ground and the plate on her lap.

"You have an interesting family." she said.

I just chuckled.

"So... what exact does..." She held up her middle finger. "What does this mean?"

"Basically, it means 'fuck you.' It's how the younger three of us greet each other. And my friends. And their friends... And... Anyways, don't do that in public."

She quickly hid her hand. "You greet each other with insults? What kind of family do you have?"

"We love each other."

"Oh... Well..."

A pause.

"It's nice being alone like this." she said, changing the subject.

"Yeah."

"It's a shame we had to help Red. I wanted to spend this month alone with you."

"Yeah."

"I suppose there's nothing we can do about it now."

"Yeah..."

"You know, they talked to me a bit more after you left."

"That so?"

"Your little sister has a very imaginative mind."

"Hey, I told you not to encourage her."

Celestia chuckled. "They told me to be more responsible. Your grandmother gave me a lecture. Can you believe it? I'm so much older than her and yet she lectured me!"

"Funny."

She was smiling.

"Don't listen to them, they're weird."

"Does your sister usually say things like that?"

"I've heard her say it before. Last time was in a restaurant."

"Really?"

I shrugged.

We sat there, eating. It was chilly. We weren't too close to the fire. We were alone now, at least for a little while. Nice and peaceful.

Celestia leaned against me. I looked down at her. She looked up at me, chewing on whatever food she had just eaten.

"I wish we could have more of this." I said to her.

"Yeah." She smiled.

I thought about what Chrysalis said again. "So... would you... want to come with me to my work?"

"Hmm? Did you want me to?"

"Well... Whatever you're most comfortable with."

"I'm comfortable with how things have been. Except for Red, it feels like I'm a real housewife. You go to work and I stay home and I stay home to... I suppose I don't do much of anything, do I?"

"You're a Princess, you shouldn't have to do anything."

"That's not how a housewife should act."

"Alright, then how about this? You're my Princess. You don't need to do anything."

"That's a bit better, I suppose."

"Haven't we already been... Are you... Your plate was full like five minutes ago. Are you sticking it in your pockets or something?"

She laughed. "I was hungry."

"You're always hungry!"

She laughed again. She reached for my fork and took it from my hand. I glared at her. She just smiled at me. Then she took some of my mashed potatoes.

I continued to glare. She found it amusing.

"Can I eat my food, now?"

"You should've said something before I started eating."

She took my food. Why do bad things happen to good people?

"Alright, here." she said, holding up a bit of stuffing to my mouth.

"You're really doing this to me?"

"Well, if you don't want it..."

I ate the food on the fork.

"See? Wasn't that easy?"

"I'm getting abused a lot these days." I said.

"Oh, don't be like that. Your turn." She gave the fork to me.

"My turn, huh?"

"That's right." She closed her eyes and opened her mouth.

I put down the fork and put my roll into her mouth.

"Mmff!" She pulled back with a few muffled sounds of surprise.

She took the roll out of her mouth. A bite had been taken out of it. We looked at each other, then laughed.

"We should head back in soon." I said.

"Really?"

"Well, you wanted to meet my family, right?"

"There's not that many people here."

"Everyone else was busy."

"I know. I guess I expected a little more."

"Don't be grumpy."

"I'm not grumpy. I'm having a lot of fun, actually."

"Well, good. Hey, I wanna put some more wood into the fire."

She just smiled at me.

I gave her a light push to get her off of me and stood up. She stared at me, finishing off the food on my plate.

It was a simple task to put more wood into the fire. I moved some of the wood around with the poking stick.

Celestia's plate was empty. She got up and set it on the bench where she sat. She walked to me, then her focus changed. She looked to the pile of leaves we had collected, then back to me. She smiled.

"Go ahead."

She walked over to it and gently laid on top of it. She closed her eyes and took in a deep smell of the leaves around her. "I love being a human."

I just watched her. She crunched up some leaves in her hands.

"I'm doing so many things I haven't done in a long time. I haven't lain in a pile of leaves like this in years."

"Really?"

She chuckled. "Maybe I have. Who knows? Who cares?" She chuckled again. "That's right... Who cares?" She laughed a long, joyful laugh. "I can't say that in Equestria. Not in any meaningful way, at least. Just the ability to say it... It's... fantastic."

I took out my phone and aimed the camera at her. "Hey, Celestia."

"Hmm?"

"Smile."

She gave me a warm smile as I snapped the picture.

A picture of Princess Celestia lying in a pile of leaves during the fall. It was a nice picture, though my phone didn't have the best camera. That was my first picture of her.

I hope it wouldn't be the last.

I held out my hand to her. She looked at it for a few moments before taking it. I pulled her up to her feet and into my embrace.

Heavy. Contrary to what I want to believe, her perfect body does have at least one downside, the weight. By my best guess, she was between 170 and 190 pounds. She was a massive woman with an incredibly curvy body and a moderately chubby stomach. On the plus side, I could still hold her up...

She briefly squeezed me with her arms before we parted. I brushed off the leaves from the back of her shirt and jeans.

"It feels like I have leaves in my hair. Do I?"

I briefly checked her long, silky hair. "A few." I replied, cleaning them out. Her hair wasn't as radiant as it had been when she arrived here for the first time. Probably because of the kind of shampoo she uses. Getting her anything better would be expensive. Unless she asks, she'd have to use what I get.

I held out my phone and showed her the picture I took.

She smiled. "It turned out well."

"I need to take a lot more of these." I said, "I wanted to take a lot of them when you came back. That never came to fruition."

"You'll get many more chances. Trust me." She pecked her lips against my cheek. "Come on, I'm still hungry."

"Geez, Celestia."

"What?"

"Eh... Nothin'."

We collected our dinnerware and went back inside.

"Welcome back." said my grandma.

"I... can have more... right?" asked Celestia, not wanting to be rude.

"Yeah, help yourself."

"Oh, good. Thank you."

"No problem."

"Is this a... special occasion or something?" I asked her, "We don't usually have ham."

She shrugged. "I won $50 off a scratch card."

"Oh, wow."

"Nice, grandma."

"And my lawn needed clearing." she continued.

"Your lawn always needs clearing."

Celestia had already collected another plate and was eating as she stood. I think she was waiting for me to either sit down or go back outside.

I sat at the table where I had originally sat. Celestia sat back down where she had earlier as well.

I poured milk for the both of us from the gallon on the table and got myself a bit more food.

"Celestia, why are you with him?" asked Katie, turning to her once again, "Like... Seriously, why?"

"Um..."

"I just don't understand this. You should be able to get someone like... Nobody's coming to mind right now."

"Chris Evans?" I asked, picking off the top of my head.

"Oh my god, yes."

"Who's..."

"Some celebrity." I said, "Some hot celebrity."

"But instead, you picked ol' fuckboy here."

"Fuckin' wooow!"

"Do you... really want to know?" asked Celestia.

"Kinda. Wait, do I?"

"It's really not as complicated as you may think. I like him and he likes me. We make each other happy and we spend time with each other. And... he was the first person I met when I got here."

"Got here? You move to Wisconsin or something?" asked Heather.

"God, why would you move here? All we got's cheese. Wait, never mind."

"It's peaceful here. I'm not from this country, so I was a bit disoriented. I got lost and he showed me around town."

"I thought you said you met online." Katie said to me.

"Well, it's a lot easier that going through the effort of talking about it." I said.

"You lazy bitch." she said to me.

"She hates me..."

"That's more romantic than meeting online." said Heather.

Celestia looked to me for a small moment. She was smiling. Smiling her special smile. "I suppose that's true."

"So, if you're not from this country, where are you from?"

"Europe."

"Huh?"

"Really? Cool? Where in Europe?" asked Heather.

"Oh, I moved too often to call any one place my home. Work moved me all over the place."

"What kind of work do you do?"

"I... suppose I'd like to keep that to myself, if you don't mind."

What a backstory... Was she working on that? I suppose the only people that'll know she's from Equestria are my friends. We could deal with that later.

"Your life sounds awesome. I wish I could afford to travel around."

"My life is rather fun. It's a bit less chaotic than it was before, though."

"Hey, so why did you move here? Like, what's this place have that, like... Europe doesn't?" asked Heather.

"Other than a surplus of fuckboy." added Katie.

"Why do you hate me?"

"Oh, my relatives live in this area. Made it somewhat simple to choose."

"Oh... Well, alright."

"What was your favorite country to visit?" asked my grandma.

"France. I loved Paris. It was such a beautiful city."

She looked this up beforehand. She's been practicing this.

"I've always wanted to go to Paris." said Heather.

"You gotta show us some pictures."

"I didn't take very many. I worked far too much for any sort of leisure."

"Oh, that sucks."

Celestia shrugged. "So I took a break. Maybe forever."

"Forever? You're not gonna go back?"

"I thought I might, but having spent this time here, I've been thinking against it."

"Really? Why so?" asked my grandma.

Celestia glanced at me. "I have my reasons."

"Ohh... I get it... You got her pregnant." said Katie, a look of realization on her face, "That's why she's stuck with you."

"No-no-no-no-no-no!" Celestia excitedly let out, shaking her head and waving her hands. She just got very flustered very fast.

"Why are you doing this to me? Have I wronged you, somehow?" I asked Katie, "You just like sucking the fun out of things, don't you?"

"Well, did he ask you to marry him or something?"

She had a brief look of shock on her face, then became somewhat shy. "N-no... No. Of course he didn't." Her voice had changed. "We haven't even been together long enough for..."

"Aw, her face is red. Isn't that cute?"

"Katie don't be mean." said Heather.

"Nyeh, Phil getting married? Gross."

"What's wrong with getting married?" asked Heather, who had been married before.

"Nothing's wrong with getting married, it's just the thought that Fuckboy Amadeus here might get married. God, it makes me feel old."

"I bet feeling old's really hard on you, huh?" said my grandma, always a charmer.

"Sorry, gramma."

Celestia had a smug smile on her face.

Throughout our conversation, Celestia had already finished most of her food. She must be a shonen protagonist or something with all the food that she eats. Shit, I'm probably a harem anime protagonist with all these women hanging around me.

I managed to finish about half of my plate before she began picking food from it. I glared at her again. She smiled warmly.

"Leave some room for dessert, Celestia."

"Dessert? Right, I forgot."

She quickly picked up a piece of the pie on the table and returned it to her plate. She lifted her fork to go for it, but I said, "Hold on there, Celestia. Aren't you forgetting something?"

She looked at me, then said, "Am I?"

"Hey grandma, could you get the whipped cream?"

Celestia's eyes lit up when I said that. She really, really loved sweets.

She set a can of it onto the table. Celestia took it and glanced at the can before spraying an unhealthy amount onto the piece of pie. She set the can down and just ate the whipped cream with a fork.

Katie swiped the can from her and sprayed some into her mouth. Celestia watched her do it, then looked at me.

"Katie quit torturing the poor girl."

"I'm not doing anything!"

"You're being mean."

I tried, once again, to fill my plate with some food. I wasn't actually all that hungry anymore, but since Celestia was busy, I might be able to eat my own food for once. It's the principle.

Just as Celestia got the can back, I stood up. "Checking on the fire."

As I turned, I heard the can spray again. As I opened the door, I heard, "Hey, bring that back!"

I looked back. Celestia stood up and walked after me. She had the can of whipped cream in her hand.

"You're all weird." I said to the group.

Katie snuck around behind Celestia and took the can back.

"That's enough!" said grandma, a bit irritated, "Put it on the pie."

"Weird, all of you."

I left through the door once more. I had my plate with me again. I heard the door open behind me. I didn't have to look to know who it was.

I picked up a piece of food and ate it as I walked out, then set the plate down on the bench and went to the wood pile once more. I got two smaller pieces and set them into the fire.

"Are you following me?"

"Yes. So, this is what it's like to spend time with a human family?" she asked me.

"Well, my family, at least." I replied. I saw she had her pie with her. Part of it, at least.

"I really like them."

"Yeah..."

"Why do you come out here so often?" she asked me.

I shrugged. "Gotta keep the fire burning."

"It'll be fine for at least another hour, you know."

"Yeah, I just like burning stuff."

"Um... Is there... any particular reason you're staring at me like that?

"Huh? What? Sorry. I'm still kinda imagining you as an overworked businesswoman. An overworked business woman with a too-small suit and thigh-high stockings and... Stop looking at me like that. It's hot, alright?"

A sly smile crossed her face. "Did you like my story? It's not exactly all that different than the truth, you know."

"Huh... yeah, I guess. 27?"

She shrugged. "I guessed. I haven't been 27 in... at least five thousand years."

"At least?"

"A woman doesn't reveal her age."

"Whatever."

I went to sit down on the bench. She sat next to me again. With this close a proximity to her, I'd have to eat fast.

She sighed. "It's a real shame we're stuck with Red. Maybe I could've been your overworked business woman."

"Celestia, shut up."

She giggled.

"What happened to your pie?"

"My what? Oh, of course. I ate it."

"Oh. Well, alright."

"You sound disappointed."

"Nah, nah..."

"Did you want some?"

"I can get my own."

"Well, I suppose it'd be inappropriate if I gave you my pie while we were at your grandparent's house."

I glared angrily at her. "What is wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry! It's just... It's been more than a week since we..." She stopped.

"Really? You can't even go two weeks?" I sighed. "Can't do nothing 'til Red's gone, Celestia."

"I know. What's the difference between her and my guards, anyways?"

"Red's a guest. Shining and Soulfire were trapped there."

"Red's trapped there, too."

"Yeah, but she's... Why did we subject them to that kind of torture?"

"I... still need to apologize to them. I didn't know how to bring it up. It's embarrassing to think about it."

"Ahh... What a mess."

"At least Luna will find something before I have to go. Well, I have confidence that she will."

"Well, that's good." Queen Chrysalis might have something for us, as well. If not, I hope she at least found a place to stay.

We weren't alone for very long. Soon enough, my family came back out to work on the yard.

Celestia helped out again. It was actually kinda nice to see her work. Felt... normal.

"Celestia, I wanna braid your hair." said Katie, somewhat loudly.

"What?" Celestia laughed. "Braid my hair?"

"Can I? Please?"

Celestia was still laughing. She was enjoying herself. "Why do you want to braid my hair?"

"Cause it's so long! How long did it take to grow it like that?"

"I have no idea." she replied, a giddiness in her voice.

"Must've been a while. Doesn't it get in the way?" asked Heather.

"Sometimes, but it's usually easy to manage."

"Won't she look so pretty with a braid?" said Katie.

Celestia smiled sheepishly. "Well, if it'll make me prettier."

"Yay!"

Celestia prettier? Is such a thing even... There are a lot of things that would make that woman prettier, don't be a dork. Just think of the consequences, though...

It was a simple thing to get rid of the leaves. We just stuck them on the tarp and drug it to the curb.

We also cleared up the front yard, which was also not very hard.

When we were done, we all gathered in the back yard to stand around the fire. I fed some more wood into it.

"That was fun." said Celestia.

"Fun? I guess." replied Heather.

"I'm not used to all this..."

"Physical labor?"

"Yes... I was usually the one who told people what to do, not the other way around."

"So you were like a manager or something?"

"Or something." she replied.

"Sounds like this guy."

"Hey, I work hard."

"No you don't, you stand around and just watch people."

"I do other stuff."

"Like what?"

"Stuff like... you know... stuff."

"Oh, right."

"Weren't we going to play a game?" asked Celestia.

"Yeah, but that's so far away." I said, "We'd have to move to do that."

"What's wrong with that?"

"That's work, you know?"

"Phil, don't be lazy." said Heather.

"You don't be lazy." I replied.

"Ok." She turned away from the fire and went back inside.

"Where's she going?" asked Katie.

"Probably breaking out the rusty chainsaw."

"I'm going back in." she said.

"Katie don't leave, we'll be lonely!"

"I'm leaving."

"Don't leave!"

"Leaving." She started walking.

"Don't do it!"

"Doing it."

"Noooo! C'mon, let's go." I said to Celestia.

She giggled.

Leaving the fire once more, we went back inside with the rest of them. I walked downstairs with Celestia following close behind.

Heather, Katie, and my grandma were sitting at the downstairs table. Rick and Lily were over in the far corner on the computers.

"Pick a seat." I said to Celestia, going to the other side of the basement. I got myself a can of Mountain Dew from the downstairs fridge.

"Phil, get me a Sprite!" called Heather.

"Get me a drumstick." said Katie.

"Me, too." said Heather.

"Mountain Dew for me." said my grandma.

"God, you think that's enough?" I asked them.

Was this something I could do in one trip... Yes, it was. Did I want to? No, I did not.

I came back with the soda first and returned for the ice cream, with one for myself and Celestia as well.

"What is this?" she asked, opening it, "I've never had a... drumstick."

"Chocolate and nuts in ice cream." I said to her.

"It's sooo good." said Katie.

She took a small bite out of the top chocolate bit. "Phil, buy me these."

I smiled at her. "Yeah, I thought you'd say something like that."

I opened the box with the game in it and began distributing the cards with my free hand. Heather and my grandmother helped out.

Celestia grabbed the rule... book for the game. I think book is the correct term for it.

"Hmm... I think I played something similar to this before."

"That's good."

I gave her the seven red cards needed to start and the first green card was flipped over.

It's a very simple game. One person flips the green card up and the rest play red cards that they think would match it the most. For example, if the green card were 'sad,' you may play 'rain,' or 'stubbed toes,' or 'my love life.' You play to the player who drew the green card. For us, it's usually the funniest answer, more akin to Cards Against Humanity.

*As much as I'd 'like' to go over our plays, it seems like it would be a little much. If you were expecting a Yu-Gi-Oh-esque card game, you've come to the wrong place. I summon Princess Celestia in face-down position... I'm sorry.*

The game was fun. Hand after hand was played until someone managed to collect fourteen green cards. With five people like this, you were only supposed to get seven or so cards. We lost track of time.

Throughout the game, I periodically checked on the fire, making sure it was still burning. It didn't need to be lit anymore. I had already gotten rid of all the paper. I just liked it.

Celestia joined in on the fun. That's all I really cared about. Anything that was fun for her was fun for me.

After the game, our little group all put in a bit of work cleaning up the game. We straightened out and separated cards into their respective holders in the box.

I looked at my phone. Late. More late than I thought.

"It's getting late, we're gonna have to go soon." I said.

"Aw, really?" asked Celestia.

"Yeah, sorry."

"Oh, well alright." said my grandma, "Wait, I have something for you."

"Oh, really? Cool."

"It's upstairs."

Celestia and I followed her up. Heather and Katie followed us.

"One minute, stay here." she said, walking down the hall. A small while later, she returned with a paper bag from a store. Inside was something I couldn't see yet.

"I also put some leftovers in there, in case you wanted some."

"Oh, thanks." I gave her a hug. She was so tiny. "Love you, gramma!"

"Love you too, sweetie."

I let go of her and turned to hug Heather.

"Bye, Philly! See you later."

"Yep, see ya." We let go of each other.

"Why does he get a bag of stuff?" asked Katie.

"Because he brought his girlfriend."

"But..." She grumbled.

"Bye, Katie." I said to her.

"Bye."

Celestia took the initiative and picked up the bag. "Goodbye, everybody. It was very nice to meet you all." she said with a smile.

All three of them replied with a similar enthusiasm. Looks like today was a success.

"Alright, time to go." I said to Celestia.

She nodded and gave everyone one last goodbye before we made it out the door.

"So... Fuckboy Amadeus?" asked Celestia.

"We're a loving family!"

She laughed. "Looks like I have a new name for you."

We both got into the car. As we left, Celestia looked into the bag on her lap.

"What'd she give us?" I asked.

"It looks like... some leftovers and... a bottle of alcohol."

"What? Really? Why'd she give us that?"

She pulled it out of the bag. "Looks like wine. Maybe it was a gift to the both of us."

"The both of us? Celestia, if you're trying to be cute, it's working."

"She seemed to like me, at least."

"Don't be silly, everyone loved you."

She reached into the bag with a hand. It was silent for a small while apart from the crinkling of paper.

"You know, we're alone right now." she said.

"What's that?"

"We're... away from Red. We could do anything we wanted."

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"Maybe... Go for a walk?"

"A walk? You sure? It's dark."

"I'm sure."

"Alright. Where?"

"I don't know. A park, maybe?"

"Alright, a park. Huh... Alright... a park."

"Did you have one in mind?"

"Yeah. This little park I used to like has some trails in the woods we can walk on. It'll be a bit dark, but we can be alone. That sound nice?"

"Let's go."

She watched me as I drove us to our destination. She had a cute smile on her face the whole way there. She didn't care what we did, all she cared about was that we were together.

This was a stupid idea. It was really dark. At least the moon was out.

As I pulled up to the park in mind, I could see that it was very clearly empty. Most likely due to the time.

"This place was my favorite place to come to as a kid." I told her.

"Have you been here since then?"

"Yeah, once or twice."

I stopped the car. We both got out. Celestia was carrying the bag with her.

"How can you still be hungry?"

She smiled at me.

"Here, let me get that." I took the bag from her.

"Thank you."

"It's back here." I said, starting to walk.

She followed me through the park.

"See that over there? Well, it's a slide that has spinning rods for the bottom, so instead of sliding down, you rolled down it. I loved it as a kid."

"It sounds fun." she said, her voice warm.

As we walked, I told her a few stories about how my brother, sister, and I played in this park, and how much bigger it used to be to me. She cheerfully listened to them.

When we entered the trails, I could see that we didn't have that much time out here, and this place was kind of a maze, even in the daylight.

Celestia reached into the bag, pulling out the bottle.

"Do you want some?"

"That stuff's too much for me. I gotta drive us home."

"Suit yourself." she said. I heard the bottle uncork. She smelled it. "This is really strong. Is it really wine?"

I looked back to her. She was in the process of taking a drink from the bottle. Not a sip, a full drink.

"You're gonna throw up."

"I'll be fine."

"Take it easy."

She shrugged, then drank a little more of it. She recorked the bottle, but held it in her hand.

Celestia was gonna get drunk out of her mind tonight.

We walked a bit further in.

"Oh, a clearing." said Celestia, passing me.

We both stopped in the clearing. Moonlight shined down through the trees. Celestia briefly looked to me before lowering herself to the ground. She laid on her back in the grass, looking up at the sky.

"Come join me." she said.

I walked to her, standing over her. She stared up at me with a smile.

"Comfy?"

"Surprisingly."

I set the bag down and laid next to her, staring up. Her hand grabbed mine and we briefly looked to each other before looking back up at the sky.

"You feeling it, yet?" I asked her.

"I'm feeling a lot of things. Love, mostly."

"Any last words while you're still sober?"

"You've never actually seen me drunk, have you? I didn't have that much the last time." She chuckled. "The last time we drank, you and I woke up in bed together."

"Was there a point to all this, or..."

"No... No point. I just... felt like it. That's an excuse I don't use often. I hate that excuse. I hate hearing it and I hate using it."

I heard her pull the cork from the bottle again.

"You sure you wanna do that?"

"Well, you can't have any."

"That doesn't mean drink it all at once."

"You don't know how much I can drink. I could drink a lot back when I was a pony."

"But you're not a pony anymore."

"Oh... Shit." She recorked the bottle. "Make, uh... Make sure I make it home in one piece."

"Don't worry, Celestia."

"Heh... Sorry."

"Don't worry."

Her hand squeezed tighter around mine.

"You swore."

"Hmm? I swore?"

"Yeah. You don't swear."

"Yes I do, I swear all the time."

"No, you only use obscenities when we have sex."

"Why are you bringing sex into this?" She turned over and crawled partially on top of me. She was smiling at me. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

My initial plan was to keep talking, but if she had other plans, I wasn't going to stop her.

I pushed my lips against hers. She tasted like alcohol. She returned my affection.

After a small while, she pulled away from me, then laid her head down on my chest. She didn't move for a long while.

When she finally spoke, her voice was sad. "I want a baby..."

"Celestia?"

She grabbed my hand and sat up, placing it onto her stomach underneath her shirt.

I looked up to her face. It looked like she was going to cry. She sniffed.

I sat up and wrapped my arms around her. All I could offer her was a sympathetic, "Hey, hey..."

"I want a baby..." She started to sob into my shoulder, repeating herself over and over.

Oh, this was not what I expected tonight...

She sniffed again. "I want to be a mother." She paused. "All my life, I dreamed about being a mother. I want something to raise, to nurture, to care for. I want something that's mine, something that I made, something that I can be proud of with all my heart."

I held onto her. "You'd be a good mother, Celestia."

"It doesn't matter how good a mother I would be. I can never have my own child... My mother told me that I was different. She told me what the other mares went through. I watched them... over these thousands of years... I've seen so many mothers... I never went through any of it. You know, I've never had a period... Not once in my life. So... So I've never been able to have a child with anyone, no matter what my feelings were for them. My body won't let me live a normal life. I'm a freak."

"You're not a freak."

"Then I'm a monster."

"Celestia..."

"Is this the price I pay for immortality? Can I trade it all for a child of my own? For a life of my own?"

This couldn't have been the first time she's cried about this.

"You're my first lover that's treated me like a real woman. At least, as close as I've been. You make me feel normal. You're human. You're unique. That's why I thought that maybe you were the one. I thought that you could lift this curse on me. I heard... what you said to my sister. She told me not to listen, but I couldn't help it. I lied to you. I told you that I wasn't infertile... but I am. I've never been able to carry a child, I never will. I can't give you a child. Would you still want to marry someone like me? Someone who can't give you a complete life? Someone who... lies to you?"

Is this what Celestia really believed? Is this what she thought about herself? Was she ashamed of what she was?

This time, she wanted an answer. She needed an answer. So I gave her one. "Yes."

"Y-you... R-really?"

"Yes, Celestia. If you can't have a child, then so be it. It doesn't change how I feel about you."

She stared at me in shock, tears still dripping down her face. She sniffed again. "D-don't you want someone you can live a normal life with? Don't you... hate me?"

This meant so much to her. More than I could have ever known. More than it meant to me... She saw so much importance in normal lives... and everything that came with it.

"Celestia, no... I would never... I love you. I love you, Celestia."

"But I can't bear children. I can't... I can't do it."

I slid my hand down her body, pulling my body away from her as I placed it onto her stomach.

"Whether you can or not, Celestia... I don't care. I have you. That's more than enough for me. I never thought that you felt this way, Celestia."

"I..." She stopped. We stared into each other's eyes for a long while.

Celestia slowly moved towards me. She closed her eyes and lightly kissed me. I kissed her back.

We pulled away from each other, still looking into each other's eyes.

She kissed me again.

I rubbed her stomach with my hand. She lowered hers, placing it over mine.

She closed her eyes, more tears streaming down her cheeks. She lowered her forehead against my chest. "I don't want to take this away from you. I don't want you to live your life without experiencing the joy of your own child. That's how a life with me would be. We'd never have children of our own. Are you sure you could accept that?"

"I'm sure. As long as I'm with you, I'd accept anything. There's nothing you can do to make me hate you. Nothing in the world."

"You'd still want to marry me, even knowing that I can't have children?"

"Yes, Celestia. You're the woman I love. Nothing will change how I feel about you."

She looked up at me. "Are you sure?"

"I promise. You're still my little sunflower. You always will be."

She stared at me for a long while. Her tears slowly stopped coming as we gazed into each other's eyes.

I lifted my free hand and wiped away her tears. "Come on, let me see your smile again. I know it's still there."

She slowly smiled at me.

"There it is."

She sniffed again. "If all this turns out to be untrue... If I really am lying to myself... and you really do give me a child... then I will marry you."

We stared at each other again. I brought her smile back. Through all we've been through, at least that's the one thing I know I can do for her.

She kissed me once again. She still tasted like the alcohol she drank. Her voice was fine, but I think that she was very drunk.

"It's been almost two weeks since I've felt your touch down there." she said, pulling away from me, "We... are alone."

My hand was still on her stomach, with hers still over mine. She grabbed onto my hand. She wore an uncharacteristically innocent smile.

She slowly moved my hand down her body as she stared at me.

"You really still want to do this?" I asked her.

She gave me a light nod. Today was different. She wanted to be intimate with me, to feel close to me. She wanted to feel loved. To her, and... to me, having sex was the most intimate thing there was. That's what she's always wanted. Being alone in the woods like this, after our powerful heart to heart talk, was more intimate to us than we've ever been before.

I knew that she was thinking about the possibility that this could bring a child, just like me.

I didn't believe that she was infertile. I'm sure even her own mother has gone through the same feelings that she's going through now. To me, the fact that Celestia has a mother is proof enough that she can have children. If adoption were an option here, she wouldn't have cried like this. If she adopted, I think it would just be a harsh reminder that she couldn't make a child of her own. I'm never going to bring it up to her. I'm... being very presumptuous.

This was never something I could've figured out on my own...

Even if she was drunk, I don't think she's ever been more honest to me. It was more than just pleasure for her. Every time we did it, in the back of her mind, the thought was there. She wanted more than just the feelings it brought. She wanted a child.