Be Our Guest

11/5/2017

It has been hours since Bruce saw his father being dragged away by the Beast. He has been sitting on the stone cold floor, curled in a ball to get warm by his own body heat and he started to get hungry. It has been completely dead silence until he heard something outside of his cell moving, and then heard the squeaks of the lever being pulled down as the cell door swings open. Then Bruce quickly went to his feet. "Forgive my intrusion, sire, but I have come to escort you to your room." A male voice said as Bruce quickly picks up a stool that was in his cell. "My room?" Bruce questions, "But I thought –."

"Oh, what?" the voice asked on the other side as Bruce got closer to the entrance of the cell and saw a shadow of a tall man. "That, once this door closes, it will never open again!" the voice somewhat mocks the Beast with a small roar. "I know, he gets so dramatic." Bruce was now outside his cell and turns his head left to see a candelabra dangling from the lever. "Hello!" he greets him. Bruce jumped in shock and took a step back with a surprised gasp. The candelabra fell from the lever and landed on both feet, and then Bruce brought the stool down on him, quickly taking a step into his cell. The candelabra sat up from lying on the ground, relighting the candles on him. "You are very strong, this is a great quality," the candelabra admits.

"Who are you?" Bruce asked the candle man in befuddle.

"I am Edward," he said. "Edward Nygma."

"And you can talk?" Bruce gently asked.

"Well, of course he can talk," a different voice said, coming up behind Bruce. Turns out he's a talking clock by the name of William Tockman. "That's all he ever does. Now, Edward, as head of the household, I demand you to put him back in his cell at once!"

"What do you want to be for the rest of your life, William? A man or a metal clock?" Edward whispers to William. Then turns to Bruce as he gets up, brushing himself off. "Ready sire?" Then the candle and clock went to leave the dungeon. "Trust me," Edward whispers to William.

Later, the three were walking to Bruce's room. "Forgive, first impressions. I hope you are not too startled," Edward said.

"Why would I be startled?" Bruce asks. "I'm talking to a candle."

"Candelabra," Edward corrects her. Bruce was carrying Edward around by his legs, but William was walking a few paces in front of them. "Please, you must know the difference. But consider me at your service. The castle is your home now so you're free to go anywhere you like."

William turns around and they stopped walking. "Except the West Wing," William points out. Edward shakes his candle as if to say 'no, don't talk about it.'

"Oh, which is what we don't have," William immediately says after.

"Why?" Bruce questions, looking at Edward. "What's in the West Wing?"

"Nothing!"

"Nothing!" William echoes Edward.

"Storage space." William also echoes Edward.

"Yes, that's it," Edward said.

"Now let's head to the East Wing," William says, and they take Bruce to his bedroom. "Or I like to call it, The Only Wing," Edward jokes. "Now watch your step, S'il Vous plait."

They open a door to a circular hallway, and in front of them was a bedroom door. Bruce lets Edward go, and the candelabra hop out and onto William's head before jumping and landing on the ground. "Welcome to your new home," Edward says after opening the bedroom door with beautiful decoration. "It's modest but comfortable."

"It's beautiful," Edward says.

"But of course, the master wanted you to have the finest room in the castle," Edward says and jumps onto the bed, causing dust to fly up. "Oh dear," he coughs. "We were not expecting guests." Bruce chuckles in amusement with a slight cough.

"Enchanté sire," a female-voiced bird feather duster said. "Don't worry; I'll have this place spotless in no time," and she flies to Edward as they twirled a little in the same spot. "This plan of yours is dangerous," she whispers to Edward. "I would risk anything to kiss you again, Harleen," Edward whispers back. "No, my love. I've been burned by you before," Harleen says. "We must be strong."

"How can I be strong when you make me so weak," Edward says, and then William fake coughs a little, getting their attention. Bruce turns around when he hears snoring and sees a wardrobe. "Is everything in here alive?" Bruce asks and then picks up a hairbrush. "Hello, what's your name?"

Harleen laughs, Edward "facepalms" himself with a loud metal clank. "That is a hairbrush," William points out. Bruce puts the hairbrush back on its little table and hears snoring again. Then looks at the wardrobe again and it springs to life as it sings a high pitch opera sound.

"Don't be alarmed, this is just your wardrobe, meet Madame de' Maire, a great singer," Edward introduced her to Bruce. "When she can stay awake," William adds.

"William, a diva needs her beauty rest!" Maire says as she wakes up. "Oh, stay with us, Madame. We have someone for you to dress," Edward says in a cheery tone. Maire gasps in excitement. "Finally!" she says before she got closer to Bruce and touched his face. "A eyes, proud face, perfect canvas yes! I will find you something worthy of a prince."

"Oh, I am not a prince," Bruce says simply.

"Nonsense!" Maire says. "Now let's see what I've got in my drawers." Then a bottom drawer opens up and Bruce takes a step back. Then a bunch of moths fluttered out, even a five-inch gold Killer Moth flew out, but he looked very surprised at what happened, but he was more surprised at seeing Bruce. "Oh, how embarrassing," Maire says and starts getting Bruce prepared. "Froufrou, come help mama!" then a rectangular stool that sounds like a dog, ran in and helped Bruce into a makeshift frilly "tailored" suit made of colorful silky ribbons and cloths before topping it off with a wig.

"Ah, perfecto!" Maire says pleasantly.

"Subtle. Understated. I love it. Au Revoir," Edward said, then he, William, and Harleen left the room. "Froufrou, send my love to the maestro!" Maire says before falling asleep again as the dog ran out the shutting doors. Bruce was now alone; he took off the wig and got out of the frilly suit then walked towards the window and opened it. He looked down and saw it was a long drop, and then turned his head to the frilly suit and smiles.

Meanwhile back in the village, Slade and Leonard were inside Slade's Pub.

"Picture it, Leo. A rustic cabin, my latest kill roasting on the fire," Slade said, pointing next to the fireplace he was sitting next to. "Adorable children running around us as my love rubs my tired feet," Slade says. "But what does Bruce say? I will never marry you, Slade!"

"You know, there are other men. Even girls," Leonard suggests, but Slade scoffs at that. "A great hunter doesn't waste his time on rabbits," Slade scoffs.

*Here comes another song*

"Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Slade. Looking so down in the dumps," Leonard starts to sing and Slade throws a knife at the wall, making everyone gasp in shock. "Every guy here'd love to be you, Slade, even when taking your lumps!" Then he starts massaging his arm before getting up to massage his shoulders. "There's no man in town as admired as you, you're everyone's favorite guy," then starts rubbing his earlobes before letting a citizen behind him do it for him. Slade notices and shakes him off. "Everyone's awed and inspired by you. And it's not very hard to see why." Then he gives a lady a couple of coins as she and a few men started playing their instruments.

"No one's slick as Slade." Leonard slides across the floor. "No one's quick as Slade." He hops on a table. "No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Slade." He grabbed a man's neck and twisted it gently so it would pop, not break "For there's no man in town half as manly." Then lies down on the table he hopped on.

"Perfect, a pure paragon!" three ladies sang.

"You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley. And they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be on," Leonard continues and walks over to the three men and sat on their table. "Who plays?…" Leo sang before making quick throwing movements, they eventually get it.

"Darts like Slade?" the three sang with him.

"Who breaks?..."

"Hearts like Slade?"

"Who's much more than the sum of his parts like Slade?" Leonard sings.

"As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!" Slade sings, feeling appreciation towards Leonard.

"My, what a guy, that Slade!" everyone else sang in.

Then Slade gets up from his seat and walks to Leonard. "I needed encouragement, thank you, Leo," Slade sings, putting a hand on Leo's shoulder. "Well, there's no one as easy to bolster as you!" Leonard sings back, putting Slade's arms around his neck as his back was facing Slade's stomach/chest area.

"Too much?" Leo asks.

"...Yep," Slade admits.

"No one fights like Slade. Douses lights like Slade!" the crowd continues to sing. Slade punches a guy in the chest and then licks both of his palms to put out two candles.

"In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Slade," Leo says before pulling up his shirt to reveal a bite mark on his stomach that's easily seen.

"When I hunt, I sneak up with my quiver." Pretending to hold a gun and points it at the crowd, mostly at Leo some actually put their heads down on the table. Leo trots through the crowd with his hands up. "And beasts of the field say a prayer." The two get on a table, Slade stands on it but Leo lays on his belly down and scoots himself to get on it more. "First, I carefully aim for the liver." Slade is now holding an actual gun and has it pointed at Leo as Slade walks to him. "Then I shoot from behind." Slade and Leo were now on each other's sides when they got on the table, Leo let out a helpless squeak, turning himself over as he now sits on his rear, slightly leaning back with his arms supporting him.

"Is that fair?" Leo asks.

"I don't care," Slade says and shoots it at the ceiling. Making everyone startled and the song continues.

"No one hits like Slade, matches wits like Slade!" Everyone sang.

"In a spitting match, nobody spits like Slade," Leo sings, both he and Slade got off the table and Leo grabs a small black clean spittoon, walking a far distance away from Slade.

"I'm especially good at expectorating!" Slade sings before spitting a good shot into the spittoon.

"Ten points for Slade!"

Slade bows and says thanks to the audience.

"When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs, every morning to help me get large," Slade sings, gently grabbing a woman's hand and put him on her shoulder in a sitting position. "And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a barge!" then he kneels down and puts Leo on his shoulder with no problem as he stood up.

Everyone starts clapping and the music got more fun and intense. Leo gave a few men coins to have a friendly match with Slade, letting him win.

"Who has brains?…" Leo sang.

"Like Slade?"

"Entertains?..."

"Like Slade?"

Then Leo and Slade got on a table opposite sides from each other.

"Who can make up these endless refrains like Slade? I use antlers in all of my decorating," Slade sings, and then everyone starts dancing.

"Say it again! Who's a man among men? Who's the super success? Don't you know? Can't you guess? Ask his fans and his five hangers-on! There's just one guy in town! Who's got all of it down..."

"And his name's S-L-A...D... I believe there's another D... It just occurred to me that I'm illiterate and I've never actually had to spell it out loud before..." Leonard sings.

"SLADE!"

XxXxX

Oh my gosh, I hate typing musicals in my Fanfictions from movies. I enjoy listening to them but not copying and pasting them word by word as well as replacing things. But do not worry. In the next chapter, Edward will have his spotlight in the next chapter. Now I'm going to enjoy a few days of work tomorrow before having Wednesday and Thursday off.