Stuff: Ok, I don't own Naruto. Hope you enjoy this 14th installment of Maye Uzamaki. Oh, and in case you're wondering, Maye has got long blonde hair, Naruto's eyes and Jiraiya's approval of a good sized bust.
Question: What happened to Jesus when his lights went out?

The 9:30 Sun outside was beaming down on the busy streets of Konoha whilst the birds around where singing their singsongs. But nothing on this flawless day could expect a battle between 2 siblings could be so fierce.

My day started as usual. I got dressed into my Leaf Ninja outfit then covered it with my Akatsuki robes, ate my toast, walked with Kakashi, arm in arm, down towards the training grounds and greeted Yamato, Sai, Sakura and Naruto. It seemed pretty normal until Yamato spoke. "Ok, before you guys start, I'll need to make a sealing barrier around me and a Sit Jutsu."

Naruto and I eagerly nodded. I walked up to him and held out my hand. "Good luck baby brother. You'll need it." I gave him a vampire smile.

Naruto grabbed my hand with enthusiasm and laughed, "I'm not the one who'll need it. I'm going to be Hokage and I'm going to crush you." I let go of his hand and poked his nose playfully, making Sakura laugh.

"Save your energy." I turned on my heels and walked 10 paces from Naruto and turned back towards him.

"Ok!" boomed Yamato. "On the count of three you may begin! One!"

Kunai's drawn; my gold dragons glistening in the Sun whilst Naruto spun his threateningly.

"Two!" We got into our ready stances.

"Three!" Our Kunai's hit each other with precision on the last count. I jumped back simultaneously with Naruto and threw another Kunai. With Naruto distracted for a short while, I did a fast Jutsu and shouted, "Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

From nowhere, about 100 clones poofed around us and began to pounce on Naruto. Unfortunately, Naruto managed to deflect my blade and was holding a Rasengan. He screamed at my clones and attacked them with lightning speed, his Rasengan not losing power as he hit my last clone. I gasped as he started coming for me.

Quick to react, I changed into a large hawk and flew to the skies. Far beneath me, Naruto had become enraged and scaled the nearest tree to try catching me. I smiled as best as I could with my beak and began to swoop back down to Naruto and attack him viscously with my talons, scratching his face and arms. I caught a quick glimpse at his face and saw that he already had the demon foxes eyes.

I darted quickly towards the ground, transformed back to my norm and made a quick Jutsu, shouting, "Air Style, Ferocious Tornado Jutsu!" I formed a circle with my hands above my head and summoned a large twister from it. The tornado spun quickly towards Naruto, sucking dirt and leaves into its Eye.

"Rasengan!" I heard from the shrubs and saw Naruto wielding an extra large Rasengan in his hand which actually sucked in my vortex rather than it sucking up him.

"Wha-?

Naruto jumped high into the air and descended quickly onto me. I was just quick enough to do a substitution Jutsu and hide underground, making an earth Jutsu to bash up Naruto for a while. I heard above me the sounds of a struggle as my rock-men beat up Naruto. "Sorry brother." I murmured.

After a while and many bruises later for Naruto, I emerged to the surface only to receive a powerful punch in the gut from him. I could tell Naruto was furious with me because his eyes were bright red and he punched me even harder in my stomach the fifth and the sixth time before I broke away, morphing into a large snake and constricting myself around Naruto to contain him.

I suddenly realized I was squeezing him too tight for I heard 1 rib crack. Damn it I thought. I didn't loosen though, which was a huge mistake. I felt a slight vibration in the heart of my coils and looked down to see Naruto starting to call upon his Demon Fox's Chakra, covering his body in its Chakra. "Oh, no!" I hissed.

Yamato's Sit seal couldn't work through my snake body, and now Naruto had become angered and now had the Fox's Cloak surrounding him. A great force ripped my coiling body apart, forcing me to change back to human. "Naruto!" yelled Kakashi.

Naruto wasn't himself anymore. 1 of the Fox's tail had already grown and he was now looking at me with lust for blood in his eyes. I didn't know a common battle would have this happen in it. It was time to take drastic action. I flipped the side of my cloak away to reveal one of Deidara's pouches. I quickly took some chewed clay, made a small bird in my hand and threw it at Naruto. It exploded smack bang in the middle of his face, which, unfortunately, just made him madder.

"I'm going to kill you!" he growled at me and sped towards me with only the speed an Uchiha could retaliate from. He slashed my arm with focused Chakra, making me scream in agony. Another scratch appeared on my cheek. Another one showed up on my leg. I couldn't keep up with his speed but had a hunch of where he was.

I was quick to move. Almost instantly, the second I moved with my hands outstretched, I caught Naruto's right cloaked arm. I whirled him around my body, his Chakra piercing my skin, and threw him forcefully into the forest. When he was out of site, I dropped to my knees, groaning at my wounds. They hurt so much, but I had to win this battle. I didn't want to lose to my brother.

My hopes and dreams of defeating Naruto were shattered then and there when I heard an unearthly roar coming closer and closer towards me. I reacted by doing a lightning quick series of hand signs and called, "Lightning Style, Ultraviolet Tornado of Doom."

My speciality was, of course, tornadoes, and with my UV layered tornado rapidly swirling towards Naruto, I was bound to win. You see, my tornado was filled with Chakra lightning bolts. They could electrocute someone whilst simultaneously sucking dry the victims Chakra. Of course, with Naruto's Cloak activate, my lightning bolts won't do squat to him, but he would get hurt.

A smile spread across my face, which disappeared as quickly as it appeared there. I witnessed something so impossible that I thought my eyes were deceiving me. There, right in front of me, Naruto had sprouted his third tail and had a massive Rasengan in his hand which was sucking up my tornado into it again.

Now Naruto was wielding a super big Rasengan, but laced with electricity. He jumped high into the air with it and streamlined down to me faster than a supersonic jet. I had seconds, nay, milliseconds to react. I only managed to move a centimetre before a pain so unreal entered me.

The last thing I felt was the feeling of being electrocuted by a million volts whilst being squashed like a bug. The last thing I saw was Naruto being attacked by Kakashi, who placed a seal on his head. The last thing I heard was Yamato shouting my name and Kakashi apologising to me, cradling my body slowly in his arms.

And the last thing I felt inside me was the warm feeling of Chakra flowing through my body. I had never stopped to think about what Chakra felt like when inside the body. Now that I had all the time in the world to feel it, I felt another presence in my body; Alien Chakra.

Answer: He was in the dark
Please, do not fret, my jokes aren't this bad and I have much better ones. Please review and give construtive criticism or another joke.
Later Taters