AN: Inspired by a story request from tigergirl-moonstar. Please note that I have taken some personal liberties with the storyline and certain characters. For example, Tonks is born in 1962 instead of 1973.

Disclaimer: All characters are owned by JK Rowling except any OCs.

Warnings: Slash, torture, angst, abuse, abduction, sexual themes

Chapter 12

The Counselling

'Philip Neuman, Healer, Specializing in Matters of the Mind' was embossed in gold lettering on the red door Remus stood in front of. On either side of Philip Neuman's office were similar doors leading into muggle office buildings for law, or medicine, or dentistry. Though the business was out on the muggle streets of London, it had charms in place that incited the non-magical community to simply ignore its existence.

With a sigh, Remus pushed through the door and into the small reception area. A perky witch greeted him from a counter.

"Hello. I sent an owl over earlier today to schedule an appointment with Healer Neuman. I also have these forms for him." Remus slid the envelope containing the forms to the receptionist. She took a moment to look over the forms and check a scroll of parchment with names and times written in purple ink.

"Thank you, Mr. Lupin. I have you on the list. Let me just send these forms over to Healer Neuman and he'll be right with you." Remus nodded then made his way over to one of the plush purple and magenta chairs in the office. Vaguely, he registered that the receptionist used the same folded paper charm that the Ministry used to send memos to deliver his paperwork to Healer Neuman.

While he was waiting to be called back, Remus' eyes landed on a copy of the most recent Daily Prophet. He hadn't had the opportunity to read today's paper, so he picked it up and glanced over the front page. An annoyed picture of Kingsley looked back at him - Kingsley hated being in the paper. The headline read 'MISSING MUGGLES: THE WORK OF WEREWOLVES OR HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED?' After a quick skim of the article, Remus could see that the reporter - a Rita Skeeter - had taken the news of the missing muggles and placed the blame on Voldemort, despite Kingsley's statements that aurors believed it to be the work of a highly dangerous werewolf, that there'd been no Dark Mark or Death Eater sightings at the time. Remus knew exactly who that werewolf was, but, somehow, Skeeter managed to skip that part and the rest of the article became a smear campaign against werewolves, painting them as violent creatures who stole innocents in the night, before returning to the idea that it was Voldemort behind the acts and that werewolves must be following him.

The anger that coursed its way down Remus' veins was fire and ice. It was people like this reporter that made the public so afraid of werewolves when the majority are simply trying to live day-to-day, completely normal lives! No wonder Kingsley wanted Remus on the job quickly. With publicity like this, Greyback wouldn't have much trouble convincing other werewolves of his cause.

"Mr. Lupin?" Remus looked up to a door on the far left of the room to see a handsome, sandy-haired wizard in lime green robes. Quickly, he folded the paper and placed it face down on the table, trying to slide it under a copy of Witch Weekly ('Featuring the hottest cauldron colors and styles of the season!'). Hopefully nobody would read it, and the next day's paper would have a feature that didn't make all werewolves out to be criminals.

Within a moment, Remus was following the wizard down a small hall and into a room that was lit only by the fireplace and a few candles on various surfaces of the room. The wizard Remus presumed to be Healer Neuman sat in an oversized armchair, a small table with a kettle and teacups next to it, and gestured for Remus to sit in the matching one facing it. With a flick of his wand, the wizard had a piece of parchment and quick-quotes quill in the hair next to him. Another flick pulled forward a small table set with a kettle and tea cups.

"Thank you for joining me today, Remus. I am Healer Neuman, though you may call me Phil." Remus nodded stiffly. He just wanted to get this over with. "Do you mind if I use a quick-quotes quill for our session? It frees up my hands and my mind so I can focus my attention on you, the patient." Already hating this, Remus once again nodded his head. "Fantastic. I read through the paperwork sent to me and I see you've recently been the victim of a Death Eater attack and were held captive for three days? Let's start there." Remus balked at the Healer's straight-forward request. He supposed he did just want to get this finished already, but at the same time he didn't want to go into detail about his experience with a complete stranger.

"With all do respect, Healer Neuman -"

"Oh, please, call me Phil." Remus sighed.

"Alright, Phil, with all do respect, I need to get back to work. I'm an auror and I have a very important case that requires my immediate attention. All I need is for you to sign that form saying I'm well and then I can return to my duties, which are - by the way - making the world a safer place for you and all of your loved ones." Remus ended his statement with a tight smile, hoping the Healer would just get the idea and sign the paper so he could leave.

"Ah, Remus, but I can't do that. One can't simply make assumptions like that, especially after what you've been through! It would be positively unethical for me to do so."

Frustration, combined with Remus' earlier anger, were mixing to create a rather uncomfortable emotion within him. He felt very nearly like a pot about to boil over. Phil must have noticed this as he flicked his wand again and there was steam coming from the kettle. The quick-quotes quill noticed as well and was furiously scribbling away.

"Come now, Remus. Let's settle in for a moment and talk about things. Here's some tea now, that's it." The kettle tipped its contents into a teacup, which then floated its way toward Remus' hand. Remus accepted and took a sip of the hot beverage and tried to calm himself.

"Look, my work is very important. I can't simply put it off," Remus tried to explain.

"Absolutely, Remus. You know what else is important though?" Green eyes peered out from under the wizard's blonde bangs as he took a sip of tea. When Remus didn't answer, he smiled and began again. "You are important, Remus. It is my job to make sure that you are healthy enough to do your job to the very best of your abilities. So, if you are well, as you say you are, you'll tell me what happened and I'll be able to see that you are well and I'll gladly write on your form and send it away for you, and you do not have to return."

"And if you decide that I'm not well?"

"Well now, if that is the case, I'll ask that you return for a few sessions until we work out whatever needs to be."

"How long would that take?"

"Oh, it depends. Some people take years." Years!? Remus didn't have that kind of time! "Now, now," Phil began again. "If that's the case we will talk about it in detail then. There's no use getting worked up about the 'what if's. For now, let's just talk about what happened."

With a sigh, Remus decided that it was in his best interest to simply cooperate. Kingsley wasn't going to let him back to work unless he had a signed form in hand, and Phil wasn't going to sign the form if he didn't talk. He tried to be as even-sounding as he could in his retelling, but his resolved stumbled at certain parts: when Bellatrix had him trapped, when he met Voldemort the first time, when Bellatrix crucio'd him until he thought he might go mad, when he was strung upside down and his skin was cut open for Voldemort's pleasure, Bellatrix's sick, sadistic smile, her eagerness to torture him, not for information, but just for the pleasure of it, and finally how he had to give in to the wolf - that part of himself that he tried to always ride above - just to escape. Talking about these things brought an unbidden quickness to Remus' pulse.

His hands started to shake and Remus couldn't look the healer in the face, for fear that he would be judged both for being weak and for being a werewolf. By the time he was finished, Remus was speaking barely above a whisper. He hated himself for being so weak. Here, he was supposed to be fine, a strong auror who could get through any set of horrors thrown his way, and yet… Clearly, he was not.

"Thank you, Remus. I know this was very difficult for you." Remus shrugged, not feeling like saying another word.

"I have to commend you for facing the fear of yourself, though. It must have been very difficult for you to come to terms with a part of yourself you so clearly hate and fear." He meant the wolf.

"It was the only way." Phil nodded.

"Perhaps." The quick-quotes quill scribbled something down and Phil looked it over, then nodded. "Remus, I'd like to see you back here. I believe you are suffering from some post-traumatic stress. We can work on your fears of Bellatrix and talk about your experiences more. I think you'll find my sessions will help you overcome these. I'm sure, as an auror, you can see the benefit in this." Remus snorted.

"No offense, Phil, but I would very much like to never discuss this again." The sandy-haired man revealed pearly teeth as he smiled.

"I understand, Remus. However, I'm afraid I have to insist." Remus sighed. Did this mean he wasn't going to be able to return to work? Kingsley was very clear that he'd need to have the healer sign off on his return. "I'm going to ask that you come in once a week for a session. I believe with time you will make a full recovery. In the meantime -" Phil lifted a bit of parchment from the small table next to his chair and signed it with a different quill before handing the paper to Remus. "This will allow you to return to work. Try to stay out of situations directly involving Death Eaters or You-Know-Who. Being in such a situation would make your recovery difficult at the present."

"Sure, I'll just send them an owl to say I can't play for a while." Despite his snarky response, Remus was still nervous as he accepted the parchmen. It was a signed release form allowing him to return to work. Remus was awash with relief. With this paper, he'd be able to continue his work preventing the werewolves from becoming rallied by Greyback and give them a fighting chance at earning their rightful place in society while preventing Voldemort from gaining the werewolves as allies.

"Thank you," Remus breathed out. Phil just smiled.

"I'll see you next week, then, Remus.

"҉

"What do you think?" Sirius had been eager to show his new muggle clothing to Remus and had waited for a while for him to come home. As soon as he heard the tell-tale pop of Remus' arrival, he'd jumped up from the sofa and stood before him in his new clothes (the jeans and the t-shirt). Remus, who had at first seemed tired, now began to smile as he took Sirius in before stepping forward.

"Looks great," Remus practically purred as he pulled Sirius towards him and captured his lips in a kiss. Sirius was quite eager to return the affection and melted into it, bringing his hand up to caress the other man's cheek. "Really great." Remus gasped between their kisses, pulling Sirius hips against his own. "I'm surprised you did so well, honestly." Sirius pulled back and grinned down at Remus.

"I did have a little help," he confessed. Remus arched a brown in question. "It's actually a bit funny," Sirius began to explain, then told Remus about running into Jessica at the shop and how she helped him pick out his clothes. Then he told him about how Jessica actually worked at a bar and demonstrated how she'd written the address down on his hand.

"So I have competition now, then?" Remus' eyes sparkled with amusement.

"Not at all." Sirius bent forward and kissed Remus again then let his lips trace their way with light kisses toward Remus' ear. "Would you like me to show you how little you have to worry about?" Sirius could feel Remus' cock twitch against him, they were still so close together.

"Oh, I'd like that." Sirius grinned then gently guided Remus toward the bedroom, kissing him as he unbuttoned the wizard's cloak. As he continued to guide him to the bed he slowly removed the cloak and then unbuttoned the auror's robes underneath before reaching the object of his conquest.

Remus' cock was firm and heavy in his hand underneath the smooth fabric of his boxers, and as he grasped it the man let out a gasp that slowly turned into a low moan. Sure that Remus' legs were now against the bed, Sirius pushed him gently onto his back and kissed his neck while he continued to lightly stroke him, sucking and nipping gently and inciting the most delicious sounds from his lover.

Taking those sounds as permission to continue, Sirius stopped stroking just long enough to remove the boxers. The room was dark and unlit, the sun already having set due to the early days of December. The only light in the room came from the lounge through the bedrooms open door. Even so, Sirius was able to make out the length of Remus' cock as he sat back to take in the sight of his lover with the robe opened and pushed aside, but still covering his arms, his torso and legs exposed, his erection standing firm with a bead of precum right on the head.

"Bloody hell, you're fuckin' sexy," Sirius breathed.

"Come here," Remus growled, pulling Sirius' face toward him to press his lips against him fiercely, even as his hands reached for the hem of the t-shirt covering Sirius. When they parted so that the shirt could be lifted overhead, Sirius kicked off the jeans he'd purchased, then turned his attention to Remus' cock. Teasingly, he flicked his tongue out and over the slit in the head, tasting the salty precum and earning a loud groan from the man beneath him. Fingers wound their way into Sirius' hair, pulling them while simultaneously pushing on the back of his head. The salty taste of Remus' cock was driving him wild and he couldn't help stroking himself as he felt Remus' control fade.

Soon Remus' hips were bucking up and it was all Sirius could do to not choke as he felt the cock sliding into the back of his throat. He wanted more, though. Blindly, he reached for the jeans, knowing his wand had been in the pocket. He pulled up from Remus' cock only long enough to whisper the spell, then returned to sucking on the swollen member as he took his now lube-slicked fingers and reached behind, inserting the digits into himself and moaning at his own ministrations.

"Sirius," Remus' voice ground out over the heavy breathing and sucking sounds and Sirius' own heartbeat loud in his chest.

"Not yet," Sirius protested, pulling from Remus so he wouldn't cum so soon. Surely he was prepared enough he decided.

"What?" Remus looked confused, but Sirius knew how to quell his thoughts. He straddled Remus' hips, took his cock and positioned it carefully behind him before allowing himself to sink down onto it slowly. "Oh fuck." Remus' words ground out and into a long moan, his hands reaching up to take Sirius' hips. As the cock filled him deeper and deeper the mix of pleasure and pain made Sirius moan and gasp as he through his head fell back as he leaned so that his hands could rest behind him on the mattress.

Within a matter of seconds Remus was fully sheathed within Sirius and the men were panting, afraid to move lest their ends come too quickly. After a moment, though, Sirius lifted himself up a little then settled himself back down. Remus rewarded him with a moan, then helped him, lifting him up off his cock then pulling him back down.

Soon enough they had a rhythm, Sirius lifting himself with Remus' aid then pulling himself back down, steadily with more and more force. Sirius lifted up again, letting his hand drift between his legs and stroke himself. When Remus pulled him back down, the cock inside of him brushed against him in such a way that pleasure burst in front of his eyes, electric currents ran down his spine and his mouth opened in a loud moan that might have been Remus' name.

"Oh fuck, do that again Remus!" His lover complied and thrust into him again and again against that spot. The bed creaked and groaned beneath their weight and movements and any neighbors Remus may have had must surely have been disturbed, but the men rocked against each other anyway, lost in their lust.

"Oh! Fuck! Sirius!" Remus thrust into him again, deep and hard and Sirius knew that he was cumming and that knowledge alone was enough to bring him to his own edge. He felt his balls tense and then he was spilling himself over his hand and onto Remus' stomach and chest as he felt Remus thrust into him twice more before they collapsed against each other, a sweaty and cum-covered, but completely satiated mess.

They lay together for a while like that, enjoying each other's presence without saying a word. Slowly, their pulses steadied and their bodies began to cool. Sirius's head lay on Remus' shoulder, and he was able to look out over the plane of his chest. He could just see the sparse hairs and the ridges of the remaining scars. Gently, he traced one of those scars with his finger. As he did so, Remus' hand came up to grasp his and he turned to look at him.

"Sirius, I wish you wouldn't."

"Wouldn't what?" Remus wouldn't meet his eyes, instead looking down and off into the far corner of the room.

"I hate my scars. Don't they bother you?" Sirius felt a pang in his chest that Remus could hate any part of himself.

"Of course not. I can't hate anything that's a part of you." Remus looked him in the eye now and seemed to accept his answer. "Now, then, before I sound like a complete girl, let's get cleaned up and have some supper."

Sirius sat up, grabbed his wand, and whispered a quick cleansing spell - though they would need a proper shower before long - and pulled his boxers back on. Remus followed suit and they soon found themselves in the small kitchen.

"So," Sirius began. "What are all of these muggle contraptions in here? I've been meaning to ask."

"You really don't know?" Remus looked mildly amused. "I've grown up always seeing these kinds of kitchens. I forget sometimes that there are a lot of wizards that have never seen these." Sirius felt a little ruffled, almost embarrassed that he didn't already know.

"Well, I know what they do! And I know they use that electricity thing you told me about."

"Alright then." Remus walked over to the upright white rectangle that Sirius thought of as a cupboard, but made a light humming sound and kept the food in it cold without the need of magical spells. "What do you think this is called?" Sirius shrugged.

"I haven't the foggiest. A cold-cupboard?" Remus smiled and shook his head.

"A refrigerator. And this part, up here, is the freezer. It keeps things even colder." Sirius looked on, committing the names to memory as Remus explained the names of the devices while he pulled out ingredients for food. They had simple sandwiches and crisps, but by the time Remus was finished making them Sirius knew what a refrigerator and freezer were, what the stove and oven were (these were the easiest as they were only slightly different from the wood-burning ones he'd seen before), and what the toaster oven was. Remus assured him that these were very common and in nearly all muggle residences.

"Do you think I know enough now to pass for a muggle?" Sirius and Remus were now sitting on the sofa by the coffee table with their plates of sandwiches and crisps. Sirius really wanted to start contributing more. What he managed to pull from his vault would run out soon and after his last trip into Diagon Alley he didn't want to risk another so soon. With a muggle job he could pay Remus back for the hospitality and maybe get his own flat. He didn't mind living with Remus, but he didn't want to put too much pressure on their new relationship either.

"Not quite," Remus said at last. "I think you're nearly there, though. I think it will just take time and some more exposure. Moreover, if you want to be a bartender you'll want to know the drinks muggles like." Sirius nodded in agreement. Of course Remus was right.

"So what you're saying is we should go drinking!"

"Well I guess that's the best way to learn." Sirius grinned wide. "Although if we order all of the drinks between the two of us we'll be pretty pissed. We should call in some back up."

"We could invite James! He's a nice bloke."

"Of course! We should really invite Peter, too. I don't feel right being at odds with him." Sirius didn't like the idea of spending more time with the mousy-haired wizard, but Remus did seem to think of him as an old friend. Maybe they could mend things a bit? Perhaps he'd see that their relationship really wasn't that strange and he could accept them?

"Let's send an owl and see if they're interested. We could go to the bar that - oh no." Sirius had wanted to go to the bar that Jessica had invited him to, but when he looked at his hand, the ink had been smudged so badly that he could no longer make out the address. Remus smirked.

"I'm sure we can just go to any bar or pub in town. Besides, I was feeling a little jealous anyway." The mirth in his eyes let Sirius know he was only teasing, but he took the bait anyway and leaned in to kiss Remus, their supper half-eaten and forgotten on the coffee table.

"Now, now," he chided. "I can't have you thinking anyone else has my attention."

"҉

Remus wove his fingers into Sirius' hair as he leaned against him, enjoying the feel of the moment as they relaxed. They had finally finished their supper and it was already growing late. Sirius had picked out a record and there was the low sound of guitars and deep vocals of Jimi Hendrix drifted in and out of his focus, the volume turned down so they could talk quietly and still be heard.

"How was your first day back to work?" Sirius had finally asked, but Remus hadn't really wanted to talk about it. He didn't want to tell Sirius about how it felt to be forced into signing documents all day and not being permitted to return to his true duties until he agreed to counseling, or how Healer Phil felt he truly needed it. However, he was excited that he would be returning to work as long as he agreed to continue visiting the healer, and he did want to tell Remus about Fenrir Greyback, especially since it may require some travel on his part. The full moon would be in only a few weeks, too. He should set those expectations with Sirius.

Just thinking about revealing those vulnerabilities made Remus' pulse quicken. He wondered if he could just tell Sirius part of what happened and keep the parts about counselling to himself. Their relationship was still so new. How truthful did he need to be?

"Remus?" Sirius pulled back a little and looked into Remus' eyes, a little worried.

"Sorry I was just thinking about work actually. Today was dreadfully boring. Nothing but paperwork all day. Soon, though, I'm going back to the field."

"What does that entail for you?" Remus took a breath, happy for the easy subject and began explaining the missing muggles and how the aurors suspected that Fenrir Greyback was on the move. He'd tell Sirius about the counselling. Eventually.

"That definitely seems like something You-Know-Who would want. He wouldn't treat them well, though. Werewolves are considered second-class, but they're still above muggles." Remus nodded in agreement.

"I guess the problem is that the werewolves believe the Ministry rates them beneath muggles." He let out a deep sigh. "I wish we didn't feel the need to rate people by their magical ability or their breed. I want a world where we can all coexist peacefully."

"Do you think it could really happen?" Remus considered this: a world in which werewolves, goblins, elves, magical and non-magical humans, giants - everyone - could exist on the same plane of respect with the same rights.

"Perhaps not in a true, idealistic sense. I don't see goblins and giants having wands, after all. But what about half-giants and half-goblins? What about treating these creatures with respect regardless instead of assuming them to be second-class citizens. Let's take the time to educate people. We should bring awareness, acknowledge the dangers where they truly lie and dispel the fears that the populus mistakenly holds onto."

"That's a tall order, there, Mr. Lupin." Remus smiled at his grinning lover.

"Perhaps. I like to think it will happen someday, though."

"For now, you'll just have to make sure the werewolves don't follow Greyback." Remus nodded.

"That's priority number one. Speaking of werewolves, the full moon is in just a few weeks." Every month it seemed to come faster and faster.

"You know I wanted to ask you how that works for you, but I wasn't sure how."

"There are some woods that are fairly distant from any humans. Most werewolves don't want to hurt anybody. We meet as a group and enchant the woods to keep people out for the night, though it also has a strong reputation for being inhabited by wolves, so people stay clear anyway. Since we are there as a group, we tend to keep each other occupied. Some choose to barricade themselves instead. I used to use the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade."

"Really?"

"Yes, but being confined and alone during a transformation is very painful. That's why the residence think it's haunted. It wasn't ghosts they heard, It was me."

"And now you roam about with these other werewolves?"

"Most of the time. It's good because it keeps me in contact with them. I'll pick up tidbits about Greyback that way. I'd like to convince them that the Ministry is on their side so that they don't feel the compulsion to side with Greyback, but current legislation makes that very difficult."

"I'm sure it's only a matter of time. With an upstanding citizen like yourself representing the werewolves, surely they'll come around."

"I hope so. There are those who would oppose it, though. Do you remember Dolores Umbridge? She was a Slytherin, but I think she was a grade behind you."

"I think so."

"Well she's a terrible woman. Severely anti-muggle and anti-werewolf. She just entered the Improper Use of Magic Office. She's not in power yet, but I'm keeping an eye on her." Remus shuddered to think what might happen if she gained any power, but also knew from what he was told that she seemed ruthless. Politics and ruthlessness went well together indeed.

"You know, Remus, I could join you on the full moon if you like." Immediately Remus' heart leapt into his throat. It was bad enough Sirius had already seen him once!

"No, it'll be far too dangerous."

"Nonsense! I am an animagus, remember?" He chose that moment to morph into the large black dog that was his form and immediately began licking Remus' face.

"Oh! Merlin! Stop it, Sirius! Ugh, so much drool!" Sirius transformed again, grinning down from his now higher position.

"Nobody's going to hurt me while I'm Padfoot."

"We'll see." Remus really didn't want to be seen as a werewolf again. It would be nice, though, to have a comforting presence to wake to. Still, he reasoned, it really would be dangerous.

That night the nightmare returned again and Remus woke with a start in Sirius' arms. Somehow, he'd managed not to wake his sleeping lover, even with his heart pounding. Settling against the pillow and taking some calming breaths, Remus decided that maybe Phil was right and he did need the counselling. He wondered again if he should tell Sirius about it or if it would worry him for no reason.

Remus decided he'd think on it more later and that getting sleep so he was ready for his first day working on the Fenrir Greyback case was more important. He closed his eyes again, happy to feel Sirius' presence as the arm at his waist tightened, lulling him to sleep.