1. Try not to quote Latin at the audience.

"What do you like to do for fun, Emma?"

"Oh, since Mr. Knightley is here, I suppose I must lie and say reading. I've been trying to pretend to be intellectual these past six months, but it's done me no good, I'm afraid. I can wield my knives well enough, but I can barely manage an "Et tu, Brute?" over them, and I fear Mr. Knightley knows and judges me for it."

(They won't understand it, and they don't like to feel inferior.)

2. Stay on safe topics.

"So, Bingley, handsome guy like you, there has to be a girl at home."

Bingley's face lit up. Mr. Bennett sat back with a wry smile. That would eat up the rest of the time nicely.

(Be careful what you say, though. Your girlfriend's watching back home.)

3. Don't bring up old tributes.

"So, Alicia - "

"Leesha, please." She leaned forward, smiling prettily. "It's what all my friends call me."

Caesar blinked at the sudden wave of charm that washed over him. "Leesha it is. Any of those friends of the special sort?"

"Oh, not since Jason. You remember Jason, don't you? I'm afraid he wasn't very comfortable on your show. Kept playing with those charms of his." She laughed, just a bit too brightly. "I'm wearing one to remember him by as my district token. Do you like it?" She toyed with the charm on the end of her necklace. It glittered distractingly.

Jack groaned.

(The Capital doesn't care for pointed reminders.)

4. Seriously, don't call the Capital out.

"So, Seph, what's surprised you most about your journey so far?"

"I'd have to say it was getting to know my parents. Hastings and Linda," he clarified with a charming smile. "It's amazing how many Victors' families got picked this year."

Caesar's smile was strained. "Amazing."

(It's the perfect platform for doing so, but they can make you regret it.)

5. Try not to act like a child.

Edith's feet didn't quite touch the floor. She kicked them absently and tried to discreetly wipe a bit of juice from her mouth.

"Tell me about your family," Caesar said.

Edith brightened. "Agnes taught me how to make a noise like this." She puffed out her cheeks and started patting them rapidly.

"Yes, that will draw sponsors," Gru grumbled from the seat.

Dr. Nefario patted his arm consolingly. "They never really had a chance anyway."

That did not make him feel better.

(People don't like to remember who it is they're killing.)

6. Do not speak solely on bananas.

"Banana!"

"So I've heard."

(If you're anyone but Bob, it will get boring fast.)

7. Don't rant about wanting to kill your district partner.

Most people would think the iron chains curling up Moth's body were some kind of jewelry and that the angry red marks were some kind of makeup.

Relda knew better. If it weren't for those chains, any illusion of Moth being human would be long gone.

"Care to reveal any hints about your strategy?"

Moth's eyes were locked on where Puck lounged in his seat. "I will rip out your heart and eat it," she hissed.

Caesar followed her gaze. "Looks like we've already got one rivalry, folks! And from the same district, too. Care to tell us the backstory on that?"

Relda closed her eyes and prayed they wouldn't have to use Forgetful Dust on the whole of Panem.

(The Capital won't mind, but if you make it home, your district will kill you.)

8. Don't burp on national television.

Puck slouched in his chair and tugged at the collar of his fancy shirt.

"So, Puck, care to comment on your fellow tribute?"

He belched and smirked at the reaction it got. "What was the question?"

(It's rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. Also, it won't impress girls.)

9. Trust your mentor.

"Your mentor tells me that you prefer to be called - "

Kate immediately overcame her nerves to cut that off right there. "Kate," she said firmly. "Kate or nothing."

Tony winked at her from his place in the stands.

(We talk to Caesar before time, and, despite what you might think, we only want to help.)

10. Don't flirt on national television.

"I'm going to go out on a limb and assume Tony was joking when he said I should call you McGeek, but I like what it says about you. You've got a pretty big brain in that head of yours, don't you?"

McGee puffed up. "I can out think anyone in that arena." He shot a glance at Abby to see what effect his words had.

Gibbs winced.

(Seriously. Don't.)

11. A word to the mentors: Try not to brood.

"You and your district partner seem to have become good friends, Ava. Did you know each other before the reaping?"

Ava giggled. "Everyone knows Jack."

Except us, apparently, North thought gloomily.

(That's what the rest of year is for.)

12. Just relax.

Jack grinned at the camera. His hands kept twitching to the edge of his shirt, though, like he was nervous.

"You've really taken Ava under your wing, Jack."

Jack shrugged. "We all need someone to watch our back. Especially in the arena."

Bunny rubbed his arm. Who was watching yours, mate?

(True, the whole world's watching, but you'll do fine.)

13. Don't admit to crimes.

Rowan limped into her seat.

"I've heard you're a good archer," Caesar said gently.

Rowan stared straight ahead. "I used to poach game in the woods before one of the Peacekeepers' traps caught my legs."

Caesar blinked.

Robin sighed.

(Of course, if you're going to die anyway . . . )

14. Don't allude to being a rebel.

"What's your strategy for the Games, Will?"

Will's nervous glance flicked over the audience before landing on Robin. "To make Robin proud."

Caesar took that and ran with it, trying to delve into how Robin had been a mentor to him even before the Games.

Those who knew about Robin's extracurricular activities knew better than to take that at face value.

Unfortunately, that included Snow.

(Snow will know, and he won't like it.)

15. Try not to let a curse get the better of you.

"Tell us about your family," Caesar invited.

Despite the friendly tone, it was still an imperative sentence. An order, as the curse saw it.

So Ella talked. And talked. And talked.

For the full three minutes.

Myrtle's eyebrows went up. "This could be a problem," she whispered to Ijori.

(If it does, have fun with it.)

16. Try to look like a potential Victor.

Rhys pulled six balls out of thin air and started juggling them. Caesar kicked off a round of applause.

Ijori and Myrtle joined in quickly. Anything to keep them from seeing that Rhys walked half a centimeter above the floor.

(No one remembers strategy speeches. Everyone remembers the unique.)

17. Be friendly to Caesar.

Marion sat elegantly on the edge of her chair. She looked lovely in her white dress.

She also looked murderous, but these were the Hunger Games. That was a bonus.

(Menacing works too.)

18. Listen to the advice you're given.

The hat really didn't match Indy's suit, but even though the stylist had confiscated it, it had somehow ended up back on his head by the time he strolled up to the stage.

His mentors were too out of it to notice.

(Hats are an exception.)

19. You can't talk about your training score.

"So, Connoire, what do like most about the Capital?"

She smiled demurely. "The punch."

The Gamemakers tried not to look like they knew what she was talking about.

(You can, however, drop hints.)

20. Menacing is good. Creepy is bad.

Terrence looked eerie under the stage lights.

Of course, he often looked eerie. Particularly to people that didn't know him.

Particularly when he smiled.

(Creepy is a matter of opinion.)

21. Give Caesar a break.

Caesar was relieved to get to Diana. "Pleasure to meet you," he said, entirely too sincerely for his own comfort.

(But make sure you're still memorable.)

22. Act natural.

Gilbert shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Anne might have sailed through her interview when she was in the Games, but he wasn't Anne. Words didn't fly from his mouth, bright and beautiful.

Thinking about Anne didn't help him get his thoughts in any better order.

(That's a contradiction in terms.)

23. Don't tell inside jokes.

Susan didn't so much sit in the chair as reign from it. She had been born to be a coal miner, but she sat like a queen.

"It was very brave of you to volunteer for your sister."

Susan's lips curved slightly. "It was only logical."

From the audience, Diggory smiled.

(Or at least make sure they're worth it.)

24. Don't accuse someone of murder on national television.

"So you win, you go home. What do you plan to do then?"

"I will make sure my uncle is punished for killing my father."

Caesar blinked, but he recovered quickly. "Certainly a worthy goal. Let's hear it for our tributes, folks!" Then, to himself, "This'll be a night they remember."

And one most of the tributes wouldn't have a chance to remember for long, Polly thought bitterly.

Tonight, the lights glittered. Tomorrow, the farewells. And then -

Then things that glistened, dark and deadly.

(If you've got unfinished business, might as well finish it.)