A/N: Title is from "My Name is Christmas Carol." If you're not familiar with the song, it really fits this fic. This chapter is part of my twelve part Christmas gift to my beta; specifically, it's part seven.
"I am here to adopt two of the children." Gru held himself with awkward stiffness at the battered table that served as a front desk. Despite his research, he wasn't sure of the proper procedure for this.
"Mr, Gru," Miss Hattie cooed. "We're so glad you've come - You're here to what?"
"To adopt two of the children. A specific two," he clarified hastily. "Not just any two."
Miss Hattie's mouth had dropped open. "Well - Well, then." She laced her hands together. "I had no idea you were a family man."
He wasn't. Not at all. In fact, he should probably just bolt now and forget the whole idea -
"Mr. Gru!" The door behind him had opened and tiny Agnes had slipped in. She launched herself at him and wrapped all four limbs around his leg in a viselike grip. Margo came in more cautiously.
"Yes, hello, Agnes." He patted her head awkwardly.
"What are you doing here?" Margo demanded. Not quite hostile, but definitely wary.
Agnes beamed up at him. "Are you going to buy us cookies again?"
Miss Hattie coughed delicately. "Again?"
Gru shrugged weakly.
This was a terrible idea, clearly. It was too late to leave now, though. He wasn't sure he could pry Agnes off without a crowbar, and he refused to walk through town like this.
"Girls, Mr. Gru's considering adopting."
Margo's eyes went wide for a moment before her more practical side kicked in, and she crossed her arms. "Won't that get us reaped?"
Gru waved a hand. "What the Capital does not know will not hurt us. The Head Peacekeeper is an old friend," or, rather, used to being bribed, "and I am sure that much paperwork will be lost in the orphanage's upcoming renovations."
Miss Hattie blinked. " . . . Renovations?"
"Due to my upcoming donation," Gru prompted. "My very generous donation."
Miss Hattie smiled sweetly. "Well, I'm sure such a generous man will be an excellent father, won't he, girls?"
Margo's eyes flicked to the way Agnes's threadbare cat hung all too loosely around her ribs, and she bit back any further objections. Agnes snuggled his leg tighter.
"Daddy!"
Gru choked.