6. I will not write forged letters home to the parents of Muggleborn first years detailing the Satanic rituals they are learning.

HDHDHD

Harry slid into a vacant seat at one of the tables in the Gryffindor common room. "Hey Dennis, hey Colin."

"Hi Harry!" the Creevey brothers chorused.

"You busy?" he eyed the stack of homework the boys were theoretically working their way through.

"Nope," Dennis answered, closing his book. "Just making pamphlets to recruit for FC, and helping Col with his Herbology homework."

"What's FC?"

Harry ignored Colin. "Excellent. Hey, both your parents are Muggles, right?"

Dennis snorted. "My parents are the poster children for Muggles world wide. Dad's a Milk Man, Mum's a teacher."

"Bril! So… you two have watched quite a few movies in your day right?"

Colin brightened. "Oh I love going to the cinema! I've watched loads of movies! "

Harry grinned. "Perfect." He reached into his bag and withdrew several a sheaf of parchment, a "QPDIITA" engraved quill, and an ink bottle. "You wouldn't mind letting me pick your brain for a bit, would you?"

"Course not Harry!"

Two hours later Harry slid into an empty seat at one of the tables in the library. "Hey Blaise, hey Pansy, hey Draco, hey Daphne. Where's the thugs?"

Draco didn't look up from his Potions assignment. "They're allergic to the air in the library. I suspect they're raiding the kitchen."

Harry nodded absently. "Good, good. Hey, I don't suppose you know any rituals that could get me expelled, do you?"

The Slytherins froze, slowly turning their heads until they were looking Harry directly in the eye. "Excuse me?" Daphne asked icily.

Pansy eyed Harry with renewed interest. "You know, Potter, I find this new edgier side of you extremely attractive." Draco glared, dropped his book onto the table, and wrapped a possessive arm around his Gryffindor.

Harry laughed, leaning into Draco's side without comment. "Thanks Pansy. I'm not planning on doing any of the spells, I just need ideas."

Blaise tilted his head curiously. "Why not simply go to Dumbledore?"

He shrugged. "We're not exactly on the best of terms since he allowed me to go off half cocked and get my Godfather killed."

Daphne studied Harry intently. "And why, Potter, would you think we would know any of these spells?"

Harry laughed, reaching into his bag. Once again he withdrew a sheaf of parchment, his engraved quill, and an ink bottle. "Let's just say I know your parents." He grinned. "Though it would undoubtedly be best to go straight to the source, I would like to graduate alive. So, therefore I need your help."

Four hours later Harry wandered into the Hufflepuff common room. Susan hugged him; excitedly telling him about the progress she and Warren had made in their quest for a blood drive. She also reassured him that the fresh bite mark on his neck was hardly noticeable at all, and then pointed out the way to Justin Finch – Fletchley's room. Harry wandered in, waving at a startled Ernie Macmillan before plopping down besides Justin on his bed. "Hey Justin!"

"Err…" Justin looked thourally out of his element.

"Good, good," Harry waved him off absently. "Remember back in second year? The whole 'Heir of Slytherin' thing? Those were good times." He smiled coldly. "I feel like we really connected there. So, I need your help. Can you tell me about some of your favorite Muggle fantasy or horror books you've read?" Without waiting for an invitation, Harry reached over to Justin's bedside table and helped himself to some parchment and ink.

Justin blinked rapidly, swallowing convulsively. "Umm… hey, Harry. Yeah, umm… we, err, definitely connected."

Ernie interrupted, wandering over and perching on the edge of Justin's bed. "Why don't you simply ask Hermione?"

"Hmm? Oh," Harry shrugged, settling himself more comfortably. "She mainly likes to read books that expand her knowledge. Fiction is a genre that doesn't hold much appeal for her." He frowned, absently rubbing his scar as he thought about what he just said. "Although I wonder if that's changed since she learned she was a witch. You can't get more fantastical than that."

The two Hufflepuffs exchanged startled looks. "err… all right, Harry. Umm, well, I really liked this one book…"

Harry was yawning in the Gryffindor common room as he finally perfected his letter. He patted his parchment, well pleased with his effort. According to his calculations, there were roughly three hundred and twelve Muggle born students attending Hogwarts. He looked at his watch and groaned. It was going to take forever to finish this!

"Harry?" He turned, too tired to jump, and smiled at the figure hesitating in the entrance to the dorm rooms.

"Hey Gin. Couldn't sleep?"

The red head shook her head. "No," she smiled. "I'm a night owl. I'll be up for another two hours or so before I'm ready for bed." She watched Harry yawn and run his hand tiredly through his hair. "Why are you still awake? You usually pass out about two hours ago."

Harry smirked. "Oh, I was just working on a project of sorts." He sighed; looking down at the parchment in his lap. "I already applied the handwriting charm, now all I have to do is make duplications."

Ginny smiled, easing herself down on the couch next to Harry. "I'm pretty good at Duplication Charms. How many copies do you need?"

"312,"

She blinked. "Oh." Ginny bit her lip, watching Harry yawn again. Impulsively she reached out and plucked the parchment from his hands. "You go to bed, I'll make copies until I need to go to sleep, and we can finish up the remainder tomorrow." Harry hesitated. Ginny sighed. "Harry, you're like family. I will do anything in my power to help family." She made a shooing gesture with her hands. "Go on!"

Harry gave her a grateful smile, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. "Thanks Gin-Gin. Just give the completed letters to Hedwig, she knows what to do." Ginny nodded, already readying a fresh sheet of parchment for duplication. Harry raked his hand through his hair again, looking oddly embarrassed. "Err… and Ginny? The same rule number 1 that applies to FC, applies to this as well."

Ginny nodded, bemused. "Of course, Harry. You can trust me." Harry grinned, kissed her cheek again, and gratefully slouched up the stairs. Ginny shook her head, amused at his antics, and began copying the text over and over. A flash of a word caught her eye, and, curious, she leaned in to scan the parchment.

Dear Sir or Madam:

Another year has arrived, and with it, another exciting opportunity for our young learners! So, once again, I find myself writing you all to inform you the many new experiences your progeny will become intimately acquainted with. Some of these methods are both revolutionary and exciting; while maintaining the old, and preferred, standards of witches and wizards.

…..As for the initiation of new members, some of the details are as disgusting as they are well known and beloved… The novice himself, deceived by the coating of dough (covering a sacrificial infant), thinks the stabs are harmless. Then, it's delightfully horrible! They hungrily drink the blood and compete with one another as they divide his limbs… And the fact they all share knowledge of the crime pledges them all to silence. On the feast-day alumni foregather with all their children, sisters, mothers, people of either sex and all ages… Now, in the dark, so favorable to shameless behavior, they twine the bonds of unnamable passion, as chance decides…

…the bonds created here are deep and everlasting! Sometimes… a small child is sealed inside the cavity of a disemboweled animal and "rebirthed" by her cultic captors during a ceremony…. Or, a young girl is thrown into an electrified cage with wolves and ritually tortured to deliberately produce a "wolf personality," werewolves being a somewhat common infliction here… Common features of satanic ceremony folklore such as the black mass, human sacrifice, drinking of blood, and satanic symbols are common, although, never fear, students typically cannot reproduce the intricacies of occult ritual beyond what is commonly available in general bookstores or what they have heard from other victims or therapists. So no need to worry they will share these delightful traditions with friends and loved ones!

… there are, alas, a few minor effects that linger…new research indicates that perhaps only 10 of the recovered memories of Multiple Personality Disorder (Dissociative Identity Disorder) have any basis in reality, and that the latter are distorted recollections of Christian exorcism rituals, KKK activities, or rituals by isolated Satanic groups…

… unrelated problem such as a sleep or eating disorder, depression, or marital difficulties... Paranoid belief systems are characterized by the gradual development of intricate, complex, and elaborate systems of thinking based on and often proceeding logically from misinterpretation of actual events. It typically involves hypervigilance over the perceived threat, the belief that danger is around every corner, and the willingness to take up the challenge and do something about it… Another very important aspect of this paranoia is the belief that those who do not recognize the threat are evil and corrupt… In this extreme view, you are either with them or against them… You are either part of the solution or part of the problem.

Thank you for being part of the solution by allowing your son or daughter to attend this esteemed institution! As always, I am easily reached by owl should you have any questions.

Best regards!

Albus Damian Lucifer Memnoch Bob Dumbledore

Ginny's eyes were huge by the time she finished reading, her breath coming in shallow pants. She turned, slowly, and gazed at the stairwell Harry had disappeared around, before turning back to the parchment she had been diligently duplicating for the past hour and ten minutes. It was estimable she had nearly two hundred copies already made. Still… well, Harry did say that the first rule of Fight Club… you do not speak about Fight Club… applied to this parchment as well. So… Ginny gulped. She had volunteered to help him.

Deliberately not thinking about what she was doing, praying it was merely Harry's idea of a joke, she kept copying until all three hundred and twelve copies were made. She tied the bundle to Hedwig's leg with a shaking hand and scurried off to bed. If all else failed, she mused, at least Hermione was better at Obliviation spells than Lockhart.