Yes, yes, I know you want the one where Harry goes skipping off to Dumbedore while singing. But, damn it, if he's going then he's going to have thourally earned it. Not next chap but the chap after ;) Once you see the one I chose for next chap... well, not one H/D shipper will hate me :)

LOVE the reviews! Thanks so much!

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Number 23: I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination Class.

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Harry hummed to himself as he left the shower stall, wrapped a towel around his waist, and moved over to the sink to start brushing his teeth. 'Hug A Slytherin' day had been a rousing success, in his opinion, but Dumbledore still wasn't taking him seriously, or treating him differently, or doing anything more that looking at him with his twinkling blue eyes! Harry sighed, lathering his face up with shaving cream; how was he supposed to be the one to off Voldemort if Dumbledore didn't teach him anything!

Hermione wandered into the bathroom carrying two steaming cups of coffee. She set one of them next to him before shifting to sit on the counter and watch him shave. Harry smiled at her before realizing the she did not belong in his bathroom. "Errr… morning?"

"I need a distraction tomorrow."

He blinked. "You need a distraction tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"And you want me to provide one for you?"

"Well, you do seem to be better at it that almost anyone I know."

Harry considered this as he patted his face dry and moved to his pile of clothing. "What kind of a distraction?"

"One big enough that will have Dumbledore too distracted to notice I skipped all my classes."

He stopped buttoning up his shirt and stared at her. Hermione calmly sipped her coffee and swung her feet a little. "You're skipping class?"

She shrugged. "That's the plan."

"Why?"

Hermione gave him an exasperated look. "Harry. You don't honestly think plans for educational reform happen overnight, do you? I need to finish up my list of complaints, write out my short and long term goals, and get organized."

Harry finished buckling his belt and picked up his socks; thinking about his plans for today. "No matter what you do, Dumbledore is highly unlikely to fire Trelawney."

"Oh no," Hermione smirked. "Trelawney is just the tip of the ice berg."

Seamus and Ron stumbled blearily into the bathroom just then. Seamus grunted out a good morning and stripped without a second though before entering the shower. Ron froze, staring between Harry pensively tying his trainers to where Hermione was idly swinging her feet on the counter. "Harry, you're not still taking that potion are you?" He sounded alarmed.

"Course not Ron," he answered absently. He turned to Hermione. "OK, I'll do it."

Ron's eyes widened. "Do what?"

Hermione beamed, jumping off the counter and moving over to kiss Harry on the cheek. "Thanks, Harry. I appreciate it."

"Do what?"

Harry shrugged. "No problem. Just let me know if you need any other help."

Ron held up his hands pleadingly. "Help? Any other help?" He looked around the bathroom; noticing Harry's discarded towel and damp hair, and the way the humidity had made Hermione's hair even curlier than usual. He scowled. "Just what kind of help are you giving her?"

Hermione laughed as she exited the bathroom. "Honestly, Ronald. You know Draco's the only one to bite Harry's neck."

Professor Trelawney walked around the Divination room slowly. "You must open your inner eye and search for the answers you seek. Look into," she gestured grandly, "the beyond. Feel yourself becoming one with your environment." Lavender and Parvati nodded seriously and immediately bent over their crystal ball whispering furiously. Pansy ignored her and continued filing her nails. Draco didn't look away from observing the strained atmosphere between Harry and Ron.

Neville glared at the crystal ball on his table. "I think my environment's rejecting me."

Dean snickered. "My inner eye needs glasses."

Harry was leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed, ignoring Ron's glare from across the table. "Put the ball in your pocket, Ron."

The red head blinked, distracted. "What?"

"Put it in your pocket."

Looking confused, he did as asked. Trelawney circled around to their table and blinked at them creepily. "My dears, where did your instrument of enlightenment go?"

Harry heaved a deep, melodramatic sigh. "I knew today was going to be a bad day," he sniffed; gazing at his table top mournfully.

Trelawney seized upon this unexpected drama. "My dear, have you seen The Grim again?"

"No," Harry shook his head, his eyes wide, guileless, and slightly damp. "No, this is worse." Slowly, he reached into his pocket and removed a pure black 'crystal' ball, with an odd triangular piece missing from the top.

Dean and Seamus took one look and started laughing. "Now that brings back memories of primary school."

Parvati scoffed. "If you used a crystal ball as a child, then why are you a complete dunce at it now?"

The professor gasped, hands flying to her face to cover her mouth. "The ball turned black!" she whispered, horrified. Ron patted his pocket to make sure the ball he had removed from the table was still there.

Harry looked across the room and winked at Draco. "Yes," he said. "The ball turned black. And," he paused, running his hand through his hair nervously. "And it answers me."

Lavender and Trelawney gasped in unison. "It answers you?"

He turned the ball so the triangular piece was pointed down, and shook the ball lightly. "Magic eight… err, magic crystal ball," he intoned. "Will I die a horrible, drawn out, painful death?" With a flourish he turned the ball around. "I can't look," he whispered, thrusting the ball under his teachers' nose. "What does it say?"

Trelawney clapped her hands in delight. "It says… definitely!" Parvati and Lavender slapped their hands over their mouth in horror.

Draco's eyes narrowed. "Will I be the one to kill him?" he drawled.

Harry grinned, shook the ball again, and flipped it right side up. Trelawney leaned forward eagerly. "Maybe," she breathed out.

Ron turned and glared at the blond, wagging his finger sharply. "You better be careful when you bite his neck, Malfoy." He scowled. "You kill Harry and I'll find a way to kill you."

Draco smirked. "Oh, but it's so satisfying to bite Harry," he purred out. He caught Harry's eye and licked his lips. Harry shivered.

"It's all right Harry." Ron reached across the table and patted Harry's arm, still glaring at Malfoy. "I won't let him kill you."

"Ask it something else," Trelawney looked like she wanted to skip in excitement.

Seamus snorted. "Will the amount of sherry Professor Trelawney drinks erode her brain?"

Harry shifted slightly in his seat, tearing his eyes away from Draco, and obligingly shook the ball. He snickered. "Definitely."

Neville snorted. "Will Ron ever get a clue?"

A snort. "Yes."

"Too bad we can't ask for a set time frame of when," Neville sighed.

Ron snatched the ball. "Will I make head boy?" he asked hopefully. He sighed, tossing the ball on the table in disgust. "My sources say no."

Pansy picked up the ball and shook it. "Is Friday a good night for a party?" She looked at the ball in confusion. "Ask again later? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Daphne snorted. "It means don't ask about parties in front of a professor." She eyed the trembling teacher. "Daft as they may be."

Harry reached for the ball and shook it again. "Will the world end if I don't do my community involvement today?" He shook the ball and froze; looking up at Trelawney with wide green eyes. "Definitely."

The professor slapped both her hands over her mouth. "My dear," she whispered, looking out her window fearfully, as though searching for the four horsemen of the apocalypse. "Oh my dear boy, what is your community involvement?"

"I read to sick kids at Saint Mungo's," Harry promptly replied. Seamus snorted. "Sick blind kids," Harry quickly amended.

"Then you should go!" Trelawney reached down and grabbed Harry's arm, hauling him towards her fireplace, still looking fearfully out her window. "You should go right now!"

Harry tossed the ball to Ron. The red head whispered something, shook the ball, and then read the results. He sighed glumly. "You should take Malfoy with you, Harry. The ball says you won't be back before he needs to feed again."

Draco stood up gracefully. "Well, let's go then. Those sick blind children won't read to themselves." He casually straightened his robe. "Although we should floo to the manor first and get… supplies."

"What? Why?" Harry balked, looking at the floo nervously. "Your parents…"

"Are in Bermuda," Draco calmly finished. "They won't… distract us from your… community involvement."

Harry brightened. "Right. Let's go." He stopped, reaching over and grabbing the ball from Ron. "Will the world still end if Dumbledore or any other teacher discovers that Draco and I have left the school?" He flipped the ball. "Definitely."

Trelawney frowned uncomfortably. "I don't see what…"

Blaise sighed, crossing the room and taking the ball from Harry. He glared at Draco. "The things I do for my friends." He shook the ball, thickening his Italian accent for effect. "Will Voldemort attack the school if the teachers learn that Harry and Draco have left the premises?" he flipped the ball. "My sources say yes."

"Its sources?" Trelawney looked nearly aquiver with happiness. "Well, if the spirit world does not want others to know Harry and Draco are no longer amongst us, who are we to deny them?"

"Excellent," Draco said crisply, dragging Harry towards the fireplace.

Seamus watched them disappear in a whirl of green smoke and grabbed the ball from Blaise. "Will Hermione become a successful anarchist?" He read the results and sighed happily.

Dean shook his head at his friend. "Never gonna happen, mate."

Trelawney clapped her hands, recapturing the attention of the class. "I am certain I do not need to impress upon you how serious it is that no one mentions Harry and Draco have left us."

Blaise scowled. "He has got to teach me how he does this. Convincing the school Draco's a vampire, getting kids to hug Snape, and now getting a teacher to lie for him."

"Seriously," Pansy agreed. "It's impressive."

Trelawney smiled knowingly at Lavender and Parvati. "I knew something like this was going to happen today." She tapped the side of her head with her hand. "I saw it."

Parvati nodded in agreement. "You can't fight fate."