Number 124: I will not wear my Death Eater And Proud Of It T-shirt to school.

HDHDHD

"Ssh ssh ssh, here he comes."

Michael Corner and Anthony Goldstein entered the library, distracted by the parchments in their hands, and sat down at an empty table. A few seconds later, Michael shifted in his seat. Then Anthony hunched his shoulders uncomfortably. Both of them compulsively scratched at the side of their heads. Michael looked up, frowning, searching the library for the source of his discomfort, and froze. Seated not three tables away were Hermione, Harry, Ron, Lavender, Parvati, Seamus, and Dean. All sitting perfectly still and all watching him intently. He twitched again; nudging Anthony with his elbow and pointing out the possessed looking teens. Anthony shifting from side to side in his chair; before abruptly standing up and exiting the library. Michael practically ran out the door after him.

Ron looked away from the retreating students and turned to Hermione with a frown. "What are we doing again?"

"Psychological warfare, Ronald. Psychological warfare."

"Oh." The red head nodded agreeably. "And what is the purpose of this again?"

"To induce or reinforce ideas or objectives favorable to our objectives."

"Oh," he said again. "And your lawyer recommended this?"

"Of course not, Ron. That would be illegal. He just happened to have a file on the subject in his briefcase, which just happened to fall onto the floor, and I happened to pick it up with the intention of being a good little Gryffindor and returning it to him, and just happened to read it first. It was purely coincidental."

"Oh. Right. My mistake."

Seamus snickered. "This psychological crap was almost worth it to see the look on Terry Boot's face when Malfoy smiled at him in the hall."

Neville shuddered. "You have to admit he looked more predatory than friendly.'

Dean laughed. "Or when Pansy complimented Susan on her outfit."

"She went straight back to her dorm room and changed!' Neville protested.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Seriously! It took me forever to convince the Slytherins that cursing first and asking questions later would be far too suspicious. No, no. This is a much more subtle approach to manipulating the minions to instinctively follow us and our decisions. Like lemmings." She cackled quietly, pressing her hands together and tapping her lips lightly.

Lavender laughed. "So, what; we're trying to convince them all we're the children of the damned or something?"

Parvati snickered. "I think Hermione is just a little too susceptible to power rushes."

"Buhuhahahaha!"

They all turned to stare at her. Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed. "Kidding! That was a joke!" She shook her head in exasperation. "Psychological warfare is used to prevent escalation from prospective enemies towards violent resolution of differences."

Ron blinked. "Which means?'

Lavender patted his arm. "I think it's best you just go with it and not ask questions.'

"I can do that.'

Hermione nodded decisively. "Now, tomorrow is Friday, and according to my source at the ministry, Amelia Bones is going to be arriving at the castle around breakfast time to address the concerns the PTA has in regards to their children's education. Depending on how the visit goes, she will either continue her investigation via owl and Floo, or she will make a return visit on Monday." She paused to flip through her notes. 'Paintballing the school was fun once, but the teachers are primed to intercept Peeves. We need to up the ante and make them realize there is a very serious injustice being done here at Hogwarts, and ignoring the problem will not make it go away.'

"Will you marry me this weekend?"

"Still busy, Seamus. Sorry.' Hermione studied her notes again, making the occasional check marks and additions. "We have the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw sixth years on their toes around us for fear of retribution. They're so psyched out around us now that they will probably agree with our demands to placate us first and rock the school second. The picket lines were less than successful, but we all still have our supplies, yeah? We need to recruit more students for Monday's march. I have Rita Skeeter coming at nine, and I want there to be plenty of photo opportunities for her.'

"Are we still doing what you want us to do tomorrow?" Neville seemed oddly resigned to the outcome.

Sure enough, Hermione looked at him like he was mad. "Of course you are!" she said sharply. "This is war!'

Dean laughed. "Plus, with next Tuesday being Halloween, Hogwarts is going to be under intensified scrutiny to make sure all the children aren't sacrificing virgins or partaking in rituals for demonic possession."

Amelia Bones and her back up, Kingsley Shacklebolt were enjoying breakfast when the Great Hall fell almost completely silent. Shocked and appalled looks and whispers centered on the Gryffindor table as The Golden Trio entered and calmly took their seats. The fact that they were eating breakfast was no big deal, but the fact all three were wearing T-Shirts under their robes emblazoned with the message, 'Death Eater and Proud of it!' rather was. "What is the meaning of this?" Amelia gasped out in shock.

"Oh dear,' McGonagall calmly sipped her tea. "Whatever are the children up to now?" She raised her voice, ignoring the fact that Dumbledore had half stood to address the situation quietly. "Miss Granger? Mr. Potter? Mr. Weasley? Why on earth are you wearing shirts announcing your association with the Dark Lord?"

Harry looked confused. "You mean Death Eaters are bad?" He ignored the incredulous looks sent his way. "I asked Professor Binns and he said he'd never even heard of Voldemort or his Death Eaters." Harry shrugged, casually adding jam to his toast. "If Voldemort and the Death Eaters aren't big enough to make the history books, why should it bother anyone that I'm wearing this?"

"Hmm,' McGonagall looked thoughtful, tapping the lip of her cup gently. "No, I am afraid I require an excuse other than teacher ineptitude to explain away this unsettling development."

Amelia Bones turned and glared at Dumbledore. "Binns is the history teacher here? And he has not been instructing his charges on the rise and fall of the Dark Lord?"

"Nope,' Ron called out cheerfully. "But I know all about Wendelin the Weird. That will really come in handy if I ever decide to let myself get burned at the stake."

"My dear, Miss Bones," Kingsley interjected. "Do you really think Harry Potter of all people would willingly associate himself with the minions of the man who killed his family?"

"Actually,' Hermione interrupted in her bossiest, most know-it-all tone of voice. "Death Eaters were originally called the Knights of Walpurgis, which was a mockery of Saint Walpurga; the saint associated with protection against witchcraft." She tossed her hair back haughtily. "One could argue that we are simply proclaiming ourselves to be witches and wizards."

"Besides," Harry added innocently. "Binns hasn't tried to kill me once in the last six years."

"Of course he hasn't," Ginny piped up from down the table. "He's a ghost. Unlike the Defense Against the Dark Arts instructors who are either incompetent or possessed by Voldemort, or Umbridge and her blood quills, Binns isn't a corporeal being. He can't kill you."

"Ah," Minerva said wisely. "Well that explains it then.'

"That explains nothing!" Amelia shouted.

Lavender and Parvati rushed through the doors just then wearing similar t-shirts and hurried to the Gryffindor table. "Thanks Hermione," Lavender said gratefully. "You really helped me out there!"

"No problem at all," Hermione gushed warmly. She looked between her and Parvati, biting her lip anxiously. "And the results?"

"Negative,' they chorused.

"Results?" Amelia looked between the three girls suspiciously. "Results of what?'

"Oh,' Lavender waved her hand airily, "just a pregnancy test."

"A WHAT?"

Parvati nodded solemnly. "No one here ever taught us about sexually transmitted diseases or safe sex. Hermione was alarmed at our lack of knowledge, as the Muggles begin teaching their students this information at age eleven. Since our school wasn't teaching us, we had to get information from somewhere."

From the head table, Madame Pomphrey looked over the crowd in distress. "But information received from peers is not necessarily reliable!"

Lavender shrugged. "It's better than nothing."

Parvati nodded. "Besides, her parents are dentists. That's practically like a real doctor."

Luna wandered in just then, dressed in a thick black robe with a white mask twisted creatively up in her hair. Hermione sighed. "We were wearing our shirts today Luna," she said in exasperation. "Not dressing like Death Eaters.'

"Details." Luna waved her hand dismissively. She sat down in Harry's lap and stole his tea; promptly tossing it over her left shoulder and humming the Hokey Pokey. Draco glared at the blonde. "I wanted to make sure that I was protected in case they decided to do the ritual tonight and shed the blood of the innocents." She blinked slowly. "My hair is long. It takes forever to wash the blood out."

"It's really pretty.' Lavender ignored the sputtering sounds coming from the ministers' liaisons and admired Luna's hair. "I bet you use a lot of conditioner though."

Neville and Dean walked in, dragging a dazed looking Seamus between them. Neville's hair was purple, Dean had three eyes, and Seamus's clothing was completely backwards. Luna tilted her head curiously. 'You boys look really festive this morning. Should I have dressed up as well?"

"No, Luna, you're good," Neville huffed out, slinging Seamus onto the bench.

Dean sighed loudly as Seamus' head thunked loudly onto the table. "We searched everywhere for the spell to reverse it, Hermione, but we couldn't find it anywhere!"

From across the room Pansy snorted. "Well you certainly won't find it here. The library here hasn't been updated properly in almost seven years."

"Seven?" Hermione narrowed her eyes dangerously. "I thought it was only three?"

Daphne shook her head. "It's really easy for Slytherins to curse the other students." Blaise elbowed her sharply. "I mean, identify the curses used on other students. We have books at home that they don't carry here.'

"Yeah," Neville muttered, scowling in her direction. "Dark Arts books."

"No," Daphne gave him a superior look. "I mean the library here only stocks best sellers so it looks like they are maintaining their standards. Well written books, often times containing better information, are not supplied here because they're less well known." She shrugged. "Father has an open account at several different book stores. We Slytherins believe in being better informed." The Ravenclaw students immediately clustered together and began muttering; shooting their teachers looks of betrayal and anger.

"Oh if only we had the resources to plan an intervention into the decaying educational standards here." Hermione sighed loudly.

"Harry's sigh is better," Luna commented.

"He's had more practice," Draco explained acidly; still sending the girl perched in Harry's lap a look promising pain. Luna merely smiled at the ceiling.

Susan Bones abruptly burst into tears and stood up at the Hufflepuff table. "I'll help you," she cried out tearfully. "I'll help you in any way I can!"

"Susan!"

"Shut up Aunt Amelia!" Susan ignored her aunt and hurried to the Gryffindor table. "That's all we really wanted to do," she explained earnestly. "We just wanted to help!"

Terry Boot stood up as well. "We'll help too," he declared, gesturing to his fellow Ravenclaws.

Michael and Anthony looked at the Gryffindors warily. "Um, I don't know anyone who's really proud to be a Death Eater. Do we have to wear the shirts?"

Crabbe and Goyle, still on guard duty, stood up and glared at the students. "You messing with Granger?"

"No!" Anthony squeaked. Michael shook his head vigorously from side to side. "No. We'll do whatever we can to help her!"

"Ok. See that you do." They sat down after one last glare. From across the room Hermione beamed at her guards and blew them kisses.

Draco stood up and crossed the room; pulling Luna off Harry and gripping his arm tightly. "Right. Make the plans, inform the minions, and we will assist where necessary." Having said his piece, he dragged his now grinning captive out of the room.

"He must be hungry,' Ron commented, taking a bite of eggs.

The Gryffindors stared at him. "Didn't we already burst your metaphorical bubble over this?" Dean asked with a sigh.

"Oh Blaise explained it to me," Ron waved his hand vaguely. "He said I lived in the happy little Land of Denial." He frowned, scratching his head in confusion. "But I don't think the Land of Denial is near Hogwarts. He said something about it being near Never Never Land. Something about third star on the right and straight on till morning, or whatever." He shook his head, ignoring his friends' laughter.

Seamus lifted his head and laughed at Ron. "And is someone going to help bring you out of denial anytime soon?" He kicked Hermione under the table and gave her a pointed look.

"What?" She asked defensively, hands full of several loose parchments. "I'm busy!"

"Nope,' Ron shook his head again. "Daphne said Malfoy couldn't pay her enough to teach me that lesson, and Pansy said she would never be that bored. Blaise offered to teach me after the Halloween dance on Friday." He loaded more bacon onto his plate. "I'm a bit worried because Slytherins fight dirty, but he said the pain won't last long.'

Dean blinked. Lavender burst out laughing. Parvati and Neville turned to look at Blaise. The Italian winked at them. Seamus nudged Hermione. "You going to do something about this?"

"Hmm?" Hermione looked up, distracted, from her list of things to do. "What?" Oh," she reached out and absently patted Ron's hand. "Have fun." Seamus stared at her in shock as she gestured with her head before striding out of the room; her two bodyguards falling into position behind her.

"Students fearing involvement in demonic rituals, students going to other students for advice of a sensitive nature, inept teachers, and now sexual discussions over the breakfast table?" Amelia's eyes were almost glowing with rage.

Kingsley raised his hands soothingly. "Now, Amelia, I am sure this isn't what it looks like."

"No," she declared angrily. "I'm sure it's worse!" She tossed her napkin onto her plate and stood with a dramatic flourish. "Headmaster, I shall return on Monday for a though review of all your teaching staff. I shall also be returning on Tuesday to supervise this dance you are having. And you had better believe I will pop in for a surprise inspection when you do not have time to doctor any findings to your way of thinking!" Trembling with rage she turned and stormed out of the room.

"Well," Parvati remarked. "That went well."

Luna spelled off Neville's shirt and examined it critically. "Do you think these will sell as well as the 'Quidditch Players Do It In The Air' merchandise?"

Lavender turned to Ron, smiling brightly and artificially. "So, what are you wearing to the Halloween dance?"