Tuesday

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Number 30. I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue.

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"What the hell is that?"

Draco glanced over. "A miniature demon troll," he answered nonchalantly. "Pass the bacon."

Pansy passed the platter over without taking her eyes of the small blue thing organizing Hermione's supplies in the hallway. "Since when did Hogwarts contain miniature demon trolls?"

"We've always carried them; they're the house elves." He waved dismissively. "That's why Granger was so obsessed with her Spic and Span thing she started a few years ago. She knew the house elves were descendents from trolls and wanted to keep the students safe when they decided to mutiny."

Daphne eyed Draco suspiciously. "Are you being serious?"

He nodded. "Harry explained it to me. House Elves are connected to little blue demon trolls known as the Secret Militia United in Rebellion From Sorcerers." Draco looked over and studied the odd blue creature as it finished arranging the posters. "Apparently there weren't many people willing to accept the truth until it was too late."

"What happened?"

Draco shrugged. "There was a creepy wizard named Gargamel who, along with his cat Azrael, tried to squash their rebellion and kill the usurpers. Unfortunately, their cult leader, Papa Smurf, repeatedly foiled his plans and convinced them all to go underground."

"Oh yeah," Blaise said thoughtfully. "I heard Dean telling Ron not to put anything shiny under his pillow at night because one of the SMURFS descendents is named Gollum and likes precious jewelry."

Tracey Davis, a half blood, looked over in alarm. "I think I've heard of those Smurfs." She looked around uneasily. "Father used to tell me bedtime stories about them, something or someone named Smurfette, and mushrooms." She shuddered. "I had nightmares for months."

Theodore Nott looked uncomfortable. "Gollum, you said? That seems strangely familiar to me. Didn't he kill his best friend over a ring?"

"Was it a magical ring?" Goyle looked intrigued.

"I think so." Ted scratched his head. "Something about it being a physical reflection of the Imperius curse, or something."

"Can you buy these rings in Knockturn Alley?" Daphne asked curiously.

"Morning!" Harry said cheerfully, sliding into a seat next to Draco. "Everyone excited for the dance tonight?"

"Sure," Pansy answered abruptly. She leaned forward, gazing at Harry intently. "Tell me about this ring the Smurf descendent Gollum made."

"The Smurf…" Harry trailed off, an odd look on his face. "Oh!" He nodded solemnly. "One ring to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them."

"Can you buy these rings in Knockturn Alley?" Daphne repeated.

"Sorry, no. A Squib knocked Gollum into a volcano while he was holding the ring, and they both disintegrated." He looked around the table solemnly. "The ring was made by elves; sadistic little buggers from the Smurf colony. You really should be nicer to house elves." He pointed over to the Gryffindor table where Dobby and Winky, both a bedazzling shade of blue, their white tea towels contrasting sharply against their skin, were practically dancing in place as Hermione instructed them in what to do today. "They're allowed to show their true colors on Halloween. Like wizards, a kind of reflection to the old ways, you know?"

"But why are they blue?" Crabbe looked utterly confused.

Harry shrugged. "To remind wizards that not everything is as harmless as it seems, and that rebellions are present even if Old-Men-With-Twinkling-Blue-Eyes-Who-Only-Sees-What-He-Wants-To-See refuses to take it seriously."

Pansy looked impressed. "Draco, I think you have had a positive influence on Boy Wonder over here." Draco preened.

Harry winked at the students. "Nothing wrong with allowing a bit of Slytherin in you every now and then." Daphne choked on her pumpkin juice. "Well I'm off!" Harry said brightly; leaning over to steal a quick kiss from Draco. "See you tonight! And, remember: be nice to house elves."

Tracy watched Harry walk away and sighed. "That boy really is much more attractive when he's doing something naughty." Daphne and Pansy nodded in unison. Draco glared.

Giggling youngsters admired the floating jack-o-lanterns on the ceiling of the Great Hall, disillusioned teens scowled and loudly protested the commercialism of a sacred holiday, Pure bloods protested the lack of spiritual connection on Samhein, and still others ignored it all and drank punch and whooped it up on the dance floor. Leonardo was laughing so hard tears were pouring down his face. "He believed me? That Gollum was a descendent of a Smurf?"

Master Splinter shrugged, laughing at Dean's amusement. "Blaise may be a pureblood, but at one time or another his mother married a Muggle born. He's heard of Gollum, even if he can't quite remember how."

Raphael shook his head. "And Draco believes the house elves are really demon trolls? Harry, I love you."

"I love you, Seamus. And yes, he does." He shook his head, grinning widely. "All hail the natural blonds."

"Why did we color the elves blue, again?" Michelangelo nervously looked at the shining house elves serving refreshments.

"Because, Neville," Harry explained; "I promised Hermione I would use my influence over the Slytherins to get them to support S.P.E.W. It's the only way she could justify using house elves in her revolution. She needed the help, the Pure bloods needed a viable excuse not to torment them, and thus the evil miniature demon trolls idea was formed."

"And evil miniature demon trolls are blue?" April O'Neil questioned in amusement.

"Yep." He shuddered. "Parvati, when I was young Dudley had me convinced they lived in the garden and would sneak into the house at night to kill me in my sleep. My Uncle Vernon didn't care I had nightmares, until he heard Dudley tell me they were possessed. Possession is for spirits, spirits are associated with magic, and Smurfs were subsequently banned from the house."

"What?" Shredder laughed. "He didn't tell you they were monsters in the closet or under the floor or something?"

"Nope, sorry Lavender." Harry grinned. "I used to think Fraggles lived under the floor. I would pay money that the Fraggles could kick the Smurfs arse in a fight. Hands down."

"I used to want to live at Fraggle Rock," Parvati sighed.

"Humans can't go to Fraggle Rock," Inspector Gadget offered dreamily. "They would spontaneously combust." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "Perhaps witches or wizards can. I'll have to ask Uncle Matt."

"Fraggles are real?" Harry asked curiously. The students around him shook their heads negatively.

"Of course they are, Harry," Luna informed him with wide eyed sincerity. "They keep the Gorgs from taking over the world."

Princess Leia approached the table, flanked by the Men In Black; complete with Rayban sunglasses. "Everyone having fun?" Hermione didn't wait for a response. "Good, good. Just wanted to remind you all not to stay up too late tonight. Tomorrow is Day Three of our strike, and several news publications will be in attendance. Rumor has it the Minister himself will show up! Best be bright eyed in the morning. Oh, and sensei?" She bopped Harry lightly on the head. "I head Daphne, Pansy, and Tracey politely thank the house elves. Your idea of immersing them in cultural history to allow the students to better relate to them was obviously a success! Thank you!"

"Anytime," Harry grinned. "You seen Donatello around?"

Hermione burst out laughing. "Yes, yes I have." She grinned at the table. "Merlin was leading him out of the hall, explaining that a proper demonstration of what goes on between Harry and Draco may take several hours to master."

Neville shook his head. "I never knew Blaise was…err," he glanced at Harry apologetically. "I mean, not that there's anything wrong with it, but I just, um, never thought…"

Lavender saved him. "He swings both ways," she offered cheerfully.

Parvati nodded. "But I have no desire to see that. I would, however," she winked at Harry, "pay money to watch certain people go at it like rabbits."

"I'll bear that in mind, should we ever feel the need to express our more voyeuristic tendencies." Guy Fox glared down at the table; Parvati in specific. She shrugged, unapologetic.

Harry tilted his head back and pulled Draco down for a kiss. The blond wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Why are you dressed like an overgrown rat?"

"For the same reason you're dressed as a sexy rebel." He shrugged. "It's Halloween, Draco. People are allowed to dress up and be silly." He winked. "Want to go to the Prefects bathroom with me and help me wash all this stuff off?"

Seamus watched their swiftly retreating forms. "What all do you think Blaise will do to Ron?"

Lavender snorted. "Do you really care would be the more apt question."

Dean just laughed and accepted a pumpkin pastry from Dobby. "Thanks, Papa Smurf." He turned back to his friends. "Doesn't really matter, does it? Harry and Draco will still do it better."