Sorry for the delay! (rolls eyes) Real life and all that jazz! This chap is mostly dedicated to a friend having a crappy week. I had to make sure that even if she didn't like the chapter, the prompt would, at least, guarantee a smile :)

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Number 427: I am not allowed to say, "S'Matter Sev? Lucius not putting out?" Unless, of course, I want to die.

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Dean Thomas woke up slowly; smiling sleepily to himself as the bright sunlight pouring through his window alerted him to the fact it was going to be a beautiful day. He lay in bed a moment longer; stretching and enjoying the lazy tranquility of the morning, before frowning in confusion as a muffled sort of noise drew his attention. Ron was still snoring away in his corner of the room, Neville was sound asleep clutching a book on aquatic plants and twitching occasionally, and Seamus… was holding a camera and tiptoeing on bare feet to Harry's bed. Where the muffled sort of noise was escaping through the closed curtains.

Seamus looked over at Dean and winked; holding his finger over his mouth in a universal 'shush' symbol. Grinning wickedly, he held his camera steady, pulled back the curtain on Harry's bed, and... "Oh," he said in disappointment.

Harry froze; the half eaten piece of Lindt chocolate hovering inches before his mouth. He looked around in surprise and guilt for a moment before awkwardly clearing his throat. "Erm… morning?"

"Morning?" Seamus questioned in disgust; tossing his camera onto his unmade bed and giving Harry a look of deep disappointment. "That's all you have to say?"

"Well what am I supposed to say?"

Dean started laughing, propping himself up on his elbows as Seamus flung himself on Harry's bed and stole a piece of chocolate. "Harry, you were behind closed curtains and moaning. I think Seamus thought he would be able to get a… artistic picture."

"Yeah," Seamus agreed petulantly; stuffing the sweet into his mouth. "Where's your love toy?"

"Draco's not a toy." Harry frowned at his friend, holding the opened box of chocolates protectively to his chest. He irritably swatted at Seamus' hands as he tried to grab the candy. "And don't talk about him like that."

"I'll talk about him any way I want until he gives the whip back to Hermione."

Harry sighed, looking at the doorway rather wistfully. "Can you really blame me for sitting in bed eating chocolate, though? Draco's in his room and Voldemort is feeling ridiculously happy." He tapped his scar. "I can feel it."

"Ah." Dean nodded seriously. "Substituting chocolate for sex. Many a person has fallen from glory due to that."

The trio was laughing as they showered, dressed, and made their way out of the tower. They chatted about educational reform, whips, toys, and what to do with formerly evil Dark Lords as they joined the quay outside the Great Hall. "What's going on?" Seamus looked eagerly over the head of a third year. "Is Hermione here? Did she get the whip back?"

"Down boy." Dean rolled his eyes and gave his friend a disgusted look. "Can't you at least pretend you still have a backbone?"

Luna giggled as she floated to their side and dropped her head on Harry's shoulder. "We're waiting," she dreamily informed them as she surreptitiously changed the color of Seamus' robes to bright purple with blue spots and pink stripes. "They're having a conference before breakfast and it was becoming too loud for the students to remain." She shook her head regretfully. "Voldemort has such a potty mouth."

Harry blinked at the blonde. "A potty mouth?"

"Umm," she agreed, already moving towards the entrance to the Great Hall. "Though I suppose it would be all right if you went in. Being as, you know, you are the one responsible for bringing them together." The three Gryffindors exchanged slightly confused glances as they allowed Luna to lead them into the hall.

Whatever they were expecting, it certainly was not the image of Voldemort draped casually in Dumbledore's golden throne chair while the headmaster stood to the side yelling. Hermione was there with her two bodyguards, naturally, along with Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape, Auror Tonks, Lucius Malfoy, Walden McNair, Rufus Scrimgeour, Rita Skeeter, and Amelia Bones. Harry and his friends stopped walking; utterly surprised. Luna ignored everyone and danced over to the Ravenclaw table where she sat and gazed intently at her plate setting.

""Err..." Harry took a slight step back as everyone's attention snapped to him. Dean patted his shoulder supportively, making no more to step out from behind Harry. Seamus just sighed and gave Hermione a besotted look.

"Potter," Snape snarled; looking far more unsettled than Harry had ever seen him. "You had best have a damn good explanation for this."

"Now Severus…" Dumbledore and Voldemort started at the same time; both stopping to glare at each other with mutual disgust and distrust.

"Harry," Hermione beamed a welcome at him; brown eyes sparkling like a child given free reign in a toy store. "There you are! We've made wonderful progress in our campaign! Amelia Bones and Walden McNair," she gestured to the frowning woman on her right and the smirking man standing to the left of Voldemort, "have agreed to head the PTA, and," she gestured once again, "Auror Tonks has agreed to act as the liaison for the Muggle born students so all parents can be involved in their children's education." Tonks looked highly uncomfortable, but changed her hair to fuscia in welcome.

"And, of course," Lucius Malfoy cut in smoothly, gray eyes gleaming as he ran a hand up and down the smooth contours of his… staff. "I and the rest of the Board of Governors will be working closely with them to monitor the school's compliance." He inclined his head gracefully. "Severus has graciously offered to share his lodgings with me until such time as a hand on involvement is deemed unnecessary." Snape opened his mouth, looked at the two powerful wizards fighting over a chair, and settled on glaring at the blond.

Rufus Scrimgeour puffed out his chest, talking more to Rita Skeeter than Harry. "We at the Ministry feel it is our duty, nay, our obligation, to assist in shaping the minds of tomorrow."

Professor McGonagall gave the man a withering look. Harry and Dean snickered as the man visibly wilted. Luna sighed morosely over at the Ravenclaw table, still gazing intently at her empty plate. "Can't there at least be tea?"

"Of course," Voldemort answered smoothly. He snapped his fingers, summoning his personal house elf, and directed it to the girl before turning a cold smile onto the reporter. "I care about our future generation as well." He gestured to the smoldering Dumbledore. "And am willing to do my part to help them along." He glared at the photographer cowering behind Skeeter until the man nervously snapped off several shots of Luna happily drinking tea.

"Err… right." Harry looked around hopefully. "Where's Draco?"

"My son," Lucius began, giving Harry an odd look, "is breaking his fast with his mother this morning. Not that it is any particular concern of yours."

Snape snorted, giving Lucius a maliciously gleeful smile. "Stick around Lucius," he sneered. "Stick around and you will see precisely what your ill begotten son gets up to while you are away."

"Now Severus…" once again Dumbledore and Voldemort glared at each other.

Harry drooped, allowing Dean to drag him and Seamus over to the Gryffindor table. Snape glared in their general direction. "What's the matter?" he taunted; black eyes blazing with frustration at still being a pawn between two masters. "Is the little Golden Boy afraid his little boyfriend will be less affectionate with his father hanging about?" Lucius stiffened, looking between the Potions professor and the student.

"S'Matter Sev?" Harry glared at his teacher, feeling sulky and out of sorts. "Lucius not putting out?"

Luna giggled into her tea; McGonagall merely raised an eyebrow in inquiry; Hermione gave them a dismissive look as she continued talking quietly with Amelia and McNair while making notes of changes she wanted in the curriculum. Rita Skeeter's eyes gleamed. A sharp elbow to the ribs had her photographer snapping pictures of the two men together. Snape gave Harry a look of pure venom and whipped out his wand. Lucius' eyes brightened, the hand stroking his staff tightening imperceptibly. Dumbledore sighed; disarming his livid professor and frowning at his Deputy Headmistress.

Voldemort gave his two henchmen a contemplative look. "Is that why you two never argued convincingly over being sent on assignments together?" he mused aloud,

Snape went red. "My Lord, I assure you we are not…"

"It's quite all right Severus," Voldemort waived a pale hand dismissively. "Lucius has already procured an heir and is thus free to see whomever he wishes. Discreetly, of course. Although," he gave Snape a thoughtful look. "The Prince blood line on your mother's side… it would be a shame for that to die out. Be sure not to allow your interlude with Lucius to distract you from wedding and bedding a suitable pureblood."

"My Lord," Snape began tightly. Lucius put a caressing hand on the man's shoulder in… comfort.

Dean tuned out the raging argument and turned to Harry with wide eyes. Even Seamus had managed to stop drooling over Hermione long enough to gaze at his friend in fascinated horror. "Harry," Dean sounded slightly strangled. "You know Snape is still going to be teaching you for the rest of the year, right?"

Harry sighed morosely, rubbing absently at his scar and gazing down at the table top. "I want more chocolate," he said petulantly. "Or Draco." He nodded to himself, seemingly oblivious to the curses now lighting up the room. "I wonder where Draco would be having breakfast with his mum at?"

As if on cue, the majority of the students began cautiously entering the Great Hall. Most of them took in the unorthodox sight and murderous expressions on the adults faces and chose to stay close to the wall. Others, mostly Gryffindors, glanced at the bland face of their Head of House and sat down at their table. Neville joined his friends, never once taking his eyes off the scene before him. "Why is Snape looking over at us like we're specimens he can dissect for potions?"

"Oh don't mind him," Harry sighed, dishing up his plate as the food magically materialized before him. "I can relate. He didn't get any this morning."

"Snape is sleeping with someone?" Draco looked truly shocked as he slid into a seat next to Harry and kissed his cheek. He accepted the enthusiastic hug from Harry and looked over messy black hair to look at the smirking Gryffindors. "Do we know who?"

Seamus grinned wickedly. "Your father."