Why? Because I can! ;P

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Number 72: I cannot form my own nation on Hogwarts property.
a. I cannot name it after any of the founders as those names are copyrighted.
b. I cannot grant myself diplomatic immunity

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Being as it was far too cold to go outside, the group of friends were gathered in the Gryffindor common room to plan their next moves. Hermione was absent; having recruited Dean and her bodyguards into making motivational posters before walking out of the room. Draco was sitting on the floor with his back propped up against the couch. Both arms were crossed fixedly across his chest while he pouted and glared at the fireplace. Harry lay stretched out on the floor, his head in Draco's lap, gazing morosely at the ceiling. Luna had somehow managed to climb on top of the bookshelf where she waved her wand like a conductor's baton and sang 'Weasley Is Our King' under her breath. Everyone else had settled themselves cozily about the room.

"Junior Potter and Malfoy?" Crabbe shrugged. "You could call it JPotterMalfoy for short."

"Peter Pan Complex," Neville suggested.

Pansy looked confused. "Who the fuck is Peter Pan?"

Harry sighed. "A boy, much like me, who was oft misunderstood by the masses."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Oft misunderstood?" she quoted. "How about Shakespeare's Whore?"

Luna giggled from atop her bookcase. "Artemis was a widely venerated God associated with the moon. Since Harry is going through his little melancholy, why not Blue Artemis?"

Seamus snorted. "B nothing," he muttered. He brightened, turning to Harry with a hopeful smile. "How about B-Nothing?"

"No," Luna frowned at the ceiling. "I was wrong. Depression should be pretty. And pink. How about Pretty Pink Depression?"

Colin brightened. "What about the I Love Chocs club?"

Fred, or George, who had wandered into the common room to 'help' with the protest, offered; "Why not Vampire April? 'Cause Vampires are cool and our birthday is in April."

Draco glared at the twin. "Harry's birthday is in July."

"So?"

He rolled his eyes; resuming his glaring contest with the fireplace. Blaise shrugged. "If we're going the creature route, sylkies are cooler. Why not Sylkies?"

Dennis sighed happily, giving Harry and Draco a besotted look. "Maybe something romantic? Like star crossed destiny, or The Thornbirds, or Thornbrooke."

Parvati decided to join in the name game. "It should be something whimsical," she decided thoughtfully. "Like wind dancer or Windseeker or something."

"Ooh," Lavender nodded. "Wind is good. What's another element? Water? Why not something to represent Gryffindor? Like Myst Kitten."

Harry turned his head to frown at the blonde. "I told you the name can have nothing to do with the founders! Those names are copyrighted!" He sighed again.

Ginny observed the way Harry rubbed himself against Draco's lap. "Or maybe something practical, like Graballz."

Daphne pressed cool fingers to her temples. "Ye gads you people drive me batty. Why, again, are we forming our own nation on Hogwarts property?"

"Wards," Dean supplied helpfully. "Voldemort is insanely happy right now. Harry ran out of chocolate after lunch and had Draco handcuffed to his bed by eight." He shrugged. "Harry needs a bit of a break before he goes mental. Having our own nation would create wards within the wards of Hogwarts, which may be enough to dull the senses a bit."

"And if it's my own nation," Harry declared petulantly. "I can torture anyone I want or express myself however I choose and have diplomatic immunity too."

Seamus snickered. "After last night even Ron has figured out what a bossy bottom is." Ron shuddered, refusing to look at Draco and Harry. Seamus gave Draco a sly look from the corner of his eye. "Personally, I recommend having Lucius Malfoy as the second in command to Harry's nation. Bet the man would love an excuse to stay in the dungeons long term."

"MY FATHER IS NOT SLEEPING WITH SEVERUS SNAPE!"

"Though I do have to wonder," Seamus ignored the vicious glare he was receiving. "With his unhealthy attachment to his pimp cane, do you think good old' Luscious Lucius bottoms?"

"IT IS NOT A PIMP CANE! IT IS A REFLECTION OF HIS POWER! AND MY FATHER WOULD NOT BOTTOM!"

"Oh definitely," Pansy rolled her eyes. "That man just screams bottom."

"Especially to Snape," Ginny agreed. Ron looked perfectly horrified that his baby sister was joining in on this particular conversation. "Snape seems like the Alpha Top to me."

"Uh huh," Goyle agreed. "This is one situation where the saying 'like father like son' holds true."

"WHAT?!"

"Draco," Dean patiently explained. "You were handcuffed to Harry's bed a mere hour and a half after dinner. Trust me; your silencing spells did NOT last all night."

Draco flushed, sticking his chin in the air haughtily. "That's different."

"How?" Daphne looked at Draco like he was crazy.

"I. It. Because Harry hates Potions," he finished triumphantly.

"Because Harry hates Potions?" Even Crabbe and Goyle looked unimpressed by this logic.

"Yes," Draco scowled. "Potions are stupid. And people who like or teach or practice Potions for fun are evil and unworthy of Malfoy's."

Now Neville looked confused. "But you like Potions."

"Not anymore."

"You know," Lavender tapped a nail against her tooth thoughtfully. "What if, instead of planning for our own nation, we simply set Voldemort up on a date? Then he'll have someone else to focus his energy on."

Pansy arched an eyebrow. "Bellatrix is insane. No one else would willing touch that snake faced bastard. Can you imagine that skin sliding against yours?" The group of kids shuddered collectively. Harry sighed angstily.

Parvati brightened. "We can take out a personal ad for him! You know, something simple like…" she bit her lip in concentration. "Single Dark Lord (SDL) seeks Single Dark Psychotic Female (SDPF) for afternoons plotting world domination. Must hate Muggles, playing nicely with others, and thinks bald is sexy. Turn On's include a mastery of the three Unforgiveables, being able to torture someone for days at a time, and group orgies. Turn Off's include people who plot against him, pimp canes, and most things relating to Harry Potter." She sat back, smiling proudly.

For a moment there was silence. "Gryffindor Chit," Daphne waved a dismissive hand in her direction. "Did it ever occur to you that if the Dark Lord were sexually satiated he would be even happier than he already is?"

Harry groaned, pressing the palms of his hands over his eyes. "Please! No more!" Suddenly he gasped, back arching up, mouth opening on a soundless moan. In two seconds flat he had turned, twisted, and pulled Draco underneath him.

"There they go again," Luna idly commented, watching the boys wrestle on the carpet. Seamus and Colin both grabbed their cameras.

"Are you sure we can't just call it the Harry Potter fan club?" Dennis sighed wistfully.

"Nope," Ginny shook her head; eyes glued to the boys as Harry ripped Draco's shirt off. "That's copyrighted as well."

Ron groaned as he watched Harry dig his fingers into Draco's hips. "I think I preferred it when Harry got sucked into visions instead of simply feeling what You Know Who is feeling." He scowled at the floor.