Monika was plagued by bad dreams lately. Nightmares really, or perhaps there was a stronger word available. Night terrors? The only thing that saved her this particular day was the gentle ringing of her phone. She looked at the screen and saw Sayori's name, immediately smiling in response. Of course after a week of helping look in on the girl to ensure she wasn't getting stuck in bed, Sayori would be the one to save her from her bad dreams.
She answered the call and brought the phone to her ear, giving an overly drowsy "Mmm, hey~"
She heard that familiar giggling from the other line and already she felt a little more awake. "How would you feel about lunch in the park?"
As it turned, Sayori had not only planned a Sunday afternoon for them, but had even gone so far as to make some bento boxes to enjoy. Monika watched in amazement as the girl spread out a colorful blanket to sit on then placed one of the boxes in front of her. "I um... tried to make it kind of decorative, but it seems I don't have the skill to do that. But it should still be delicious."
Monika popped the lid off and peered inside. Sure enough, she could just make out a few cutesy animal faces, but they were... unclear. Still, she happily popped some of the food into her mouth, and found that even if Sayori wasn't an artistic chef, she could make a delicious lunch. "Oh, it's perfectly fine. Wonderful even! Thank you for all this. It's a fabulous way to spend a free day."
"I'm sorry for waking you up like that..." Sayori said bashfully as she speared a vegetable with a chopstick.
Monika shook her head and smiled warmly. "Don't be. You were doing me a favor."
Of course, that naturally made Sayori concerned and she looked at her with those wide eyes, head tilting slightly. "W-What do you mean?"
Monika knew she shouldn't have phrased it that way. She certainly didn't want to worry her friend. And she hated the idea of being an emotional burden. Never mind the disturbing content of some of her dreams. If she said too much, it would probably make everyone hate her. So she just laughed and shoved more food in her mouth. "Nothing serious, just a nightmare."
"Oh! Well then I might have some... potentially good news for you?" Monika suddenly noticed that Sayori's face was becoming quite red. Her interest was certainly piqued. "S-So um... So Natsuki and I were talking after that whole thing about Madoka Magica. A-And maybe... Well, I mentioned that... that I was crushing on you? And also her and Yuri? A-And she said that she was kind of going through the same thing?" She accidentally fumbled her chopsticks and hurried to pick them back up. "We talked it out and judging by the text she sent me Yuri is intrigued too! S-So... So if that's something you wouldn't be completely against, then maybe we can figure it out on Monday. Together."
Oh, no. Monika wanted more than anything to give a cry of joy and pull Sayori into her arms. But she couldn't. Not with the things her brain had conjured up in her dreams lately. "I-I... cannot tell you how happy I am to hear that. And... how much it hurts for me to say that I think it would be best for the three of you to forget about me. I'm not certain that I deserve something so wonderful."
Sayori laughed nervously, looking around them for a moment, as though at any moment the punchline might be revealed. "Hah, what the heck do you mean? You're amazing."
"I'm not. I..." She took in a deep breath, trying to center herself. "I think I might be a very terrible person. But... But if I say more you're also going to think I'm crazy! So... I'm in a bit of a bad position no matter what. You see?"
Sayori pouted, putting aside the rest of her bento before shuffling closer to her on the blanket. "Monika! You can't just say something like that and then expect me to not want follow-up! I... We... care about you. And it doesn't matter if it's because of something you were told by space aliens or a demon or something. Because I'm still going to prove you wrong and show you that you are definitely amazing. Got it?"
Well, no way out now. She would just have to do her best to not sound too crazy. "After you, Natsuki, and Yuri joined the club, I started having some rather strange dreams. Very realistic dreams where I was super-powerful and I... I did such awful things to you guys. And all because I wanted to get closer to a boy. His... His name was Yuu?"
She expected Sayori to look at her with wide-eyed fear or confusion. She hadn't thought she'd receive a look of recognition instead. "Th-That was his name! My friend, that... moved... away?" Ah, and there was the confusion. Admittedly, Monika felt it too, so she could hardly judge.
"Exactly. I can't help but be utterly terrified that I'm not just dreaming, I'm... remembering things that never happened."
Sayori shook her head desperately. "N-No, that's not possible! Maybe you just heard his name somewhere and it stuck in your mind. Or... Or maybe I mentioned it, and you just subconsciously focused on it? Th-That's..." She stopped herself, now staring off into the middle distance. When she finally spoke again, it was in a hushed whisper. "I've been having dreams too. About him. About us. I killed myself because..."
"Because of me." If Sayori was whispering, then Monika was barely even audible now as her throat began to close up and she felt the desire to cry growing. "Because I cared more about getting what I wanted. Because I'm a monster."
"No!" Sayori's voice was suddenly back at its normal volume, perhaps even louder, and it was enough of a shock to make Monika gasp. "No. Maybe that other Monika did those things. But... But we're different now. I can feel it. E-Even if you don't trust yourself, I still trust you. And I just know the others will too when we talk to them."
The tears that had merely been threatening to fall were now coming in earnest. Usually so strong and sure, Monika was now whimpering pathetically. Sayori was quick to respond, moving to sit next to her, pulling her in against her shoulder even if she was a little too short to pull it off. Sayori's hand began softly stroking her hair. "The only thing I'm sure of is that I'm a monster. And that if you're not careful, I'm going to hurt you. Somehow." That might have almost sounded like a threat if she weren't so sad.
Sayori just shushed her softly and continued to stroke her hair. With all her arguments summarily rejected or ignored, they sat there for a while in silence while Monika tried to find her peace again. Eventually the younger girl let go of her, reaching for both bento boxes. "It's bad to waste food. C'mon,eat up." She actually went so far as to pluck a piece of sushi in her own chopsticks to feed Monika directly. It was shameful, but she couldn't help noticing how oddly romantic it was. Finally she relented and ate the treat, unable to deny that it was delicious. She even started to smile a little bit again. "There we go..."
"Sayori? Have you ever noticed that time always seems to fast forward whenever you're alone?" Her brow knit together in concentration. "I think you're right. We need Yuri and Natsuki. Maybe... Maybe they can help, or give us pieces we don't have."
"So what are you saying? If we... both go home, then we'll just suddenly be there?" Sayori didn't so much sound unconvinced as she was trying to sound unconvinced. Monika knew it was crazy, but it was also something she had experienced multiple times lately. She was nearly positive.
Admittedly, Monika wanted to spend more time with Sayori. In a normal world, she would have. But she was beginning to suspect that this was not exactly a normal world. So the two of them agreed to head home for the afternoon. And as disturbing as it was, she did feel a certain amount of delight to suddenly find herself approaching the club room door as Sayori walked over from the opposite direction. She looked equally freaked out. "I-I don't think I wanna talk about how nuts that was..."
Monika just nodded and opened the door, a little surprised to see Yuri and Natsuki waiting for them in the middle of the room. Yuri was waiting patiently, Natsuki less so. "Hello everyone. I... suppose we need to talk..."
"Uh, yeah, understatement of the century there, fearless leader." Natsuki seemed upset, and if she remembered even a fraction of what happened, then Monika could hardly blame her.
So she went to the closet and retrieved their pillows like it was any other club meeting. Only it very much wasn't. They all took their time getting situated before she got the conversation started. "There are some... some things I need to say first. I'm the reason you all are having these terrible dreams and... fractured memories. Whatever happened to you, I know that it's because of me. And if that changes how you feel about me, I'll understand. I-I'll leave, if you tell me to."
"No." It was a bit jarring to hear Yuri sound so certain. It was the same voice she got when she began talking about a book she loved. "Those things may be memories, but they still feel as though they happened in another lifetime. Wherever we are now, things are clearly different. You are not the same demon I see in my dreams. If you wish to perform penance, I won't stop you. But I don't know if it's necessary."
"It's the club!" Sayori suddenly sat up straight, looking intently at each one of them. "Monika was president! I remember! We didn't used to have everyone share responsibility equally. Something changed."
It was like a brilliant light flashing in Monika's mind, her eyes going wide. "I changed it. That was my penance. I gave an equal piece to each of us, and because of that, we don't have a president anymore. That must be why we've all been able to remember things. If only we could have avoided it – the pain of it all... I-I'm sorry everyone."
Monika was shocked out of her misery as all three girls suddenly went in for an incredibly awkward but otherwise warm and loving hug. Even more surprising, Natsuki and Sayori each kissed a cheek while Yuri pecked her forehead. "We should stay focused on the present, Monika. The here and now is more important," the quiet girl whispered softly. "I think I might have an idea."
If time skipped when they were apart, then it stood to reason that as long as they were together, things would normalize. Natsuki was desperate to be anywhere other than her house, so she came home with Monika, while Yuri invited Sayori over to her home.
Admittedly, Monika was a little nervous. Natsuki was the only one who hadn't openly and clearly absolved her of her myriad crimes. And walking to her home in silence wasn't helping matters any. The girl didn't even speak until they were safely inside and able to observe that the world was still spinning normally. "I know you got the all-clear from Yuri and Sayori, but honestly, I'm still kind of mad at you. Y-You knew what my home life was like! Yet you continually pushed everyone away from me just for some dick who wasn't even real... A-And then the one time we were all getting along and Yuri and I were practically friends, you refused to let yourself be unmade and ruined it all over again!" She huffed, but her anger seemed to have already flared out.
Monika just nodded her head sadly. "You're... absolutely right. But then... why did you agree to come home with me instead of one of the others?"
Without warning, Natsuki leapt at her, and Monika just barely managed to catch the girl under her thighs as her arms went around her neck. Monika inwardly thanked her lucky stars Natsuki was as tiny as she was. "B-Because... I-I figure you can start paying me back with a few million kisses and then I can decide where we stand." And just like that, Natsuki began kissing her furiously, again and again, and all she could do at that point was just hang on and survive the ride.