A/N: This is it, folks! I have had an amazing time writing this little contribution to the High-verse. I have no plans to write any more stories in the series, but you never know. I have a lot of other projects I'd like to dedicate my time to, and I knew it was time to wrap up this little story. I can honestly say this is one of my favorite things I've written.

A big ol' thank you to SaintDionysus for her beta talents and her enthusiasm for this story and "those weirdos" as she lovingly describes Neville and Draco. Through her encouragement, I feel very strongly about the whole BroTrope of Neville and Draco. I want to see more of this in other stories, so I strongly encourage people to write it! I'll read it happily!

Also, thank you to each and every person who has followed this crazy story. I'll end 2017 on a sappy note with the conclusion of this story and my love for you guys.

They had arranged to rendezvous with Hermione once Whimsy delivered the treats to George. She, in the meantime, had been working with Atkinson to keep tabs on MacMillan.

"I don't see why we can't just lure him into one of the various murder traps arbitrarily located within this castle," Draco said.

Hermione smirked at her bloodthirsty fiancé. "Oh, love. Your features are entirely too delicate for Azkaban."

Neville snorted. "Bloody made for each other, you two."

Hermione ignored him. "Besides, I've already taken care of it."

"What did you do?" Draco asked.

"Don't worry about it."

Draco shot a menacing glare at Atkinson who appeared to be properly terrified of Hermione. Little spaz was shaking in his faux dragonhide boots from spending the afternoon with her. Draco would bet half his fortune she had bossed him to hell and back. She had that look about her; that smug swagger like she had managed to impress herself; her prissy mouth pursed in self-satisfaction, her posture pointedly pristine.

Salazar's rod, he wanted to shag her right now.

But there was work to be done first. He turned to Evan to give him instructions. "Atkinson, I need you to find Baker and Mantel. We need to round up the last of the product and make sure to—"

"Already done, sir."

Draco blinked dumbly at him for a moment. "Already done? I don't understand." He'd always assumed Evan was a bit like Crabbe and Goyle—loyal but utterly incapable of initiative.

"It's been dealt with, Draco," Hermione said, a tone of finality in her voice.

Draco narrowed his eyes back and forth between Evan and Hermione. Evan looked to be seconds away from pissing himself. "I still don't—"

"Draco. Don't push it," Hermione said.

Neville stifled a chuckle. Though he was no longer a bully, Malfoy was still objectively the hardest guy in the school. But as hard as he was meant to be, it did not escape Neville's notice that Hermione Granger, a five-foot-four and eight stone (much of which was hair) bookworm, essentially owned Malfoy's balls.

As if to prove Neville's point, Draco immediately shut his mouth and shrugged in compliance. "Fine." He smirked at his fiancée. The second they sorted out this mess, Draco was going to drag her away and not come up for air the rest of the day Why did she have to go all Super Swot on him now? She knew what that did to him. He shifted his stance in a feeble attempt to hide his rapidly inflating boner.

Luckily, Draco's problem sorted itself out as a glassy-eyed, sluggish Ernie MacMillan approached their group. Just the sight of the overly starched little turd rendered him incapable of sustaining an erection.

"Malfoy! Longbottom!" He pointed a finger between them and opened his mouth, all systems go to give them a stern lecture he'd probably practiced in the mirror. Suddenly, his face went blank. He had obviously forgotten what he was about to say.

"Ernie, I'm glad we ran into you," Hermione said, flawlessly shifting from Queen Pin into Head Girl Mode. "I was wondering if you'd made any progress on your Drug-Free Campaign."

His face broke out into the stupidest, smarmiest grin Draco had ever seen. "As a matter of fact, Hermione, I've discovered that—"

"Curly-Haired Miss!" Winky said, arriving on the scene. "Winky is just now finishing the search of the dorms for the special herb Big-Haired Miss is telling us about."

Hermione smiled fondly at the house elf. "You see, Ernie. I decided to take some initiative. You were absolutely right. As Head Girl, it's my duty to help you."

Draco contemplated how Avada Kedavra was really too quick of a way to go for some people as he observed the absurd self-importance of the Head Boy in response to Hermione's comment.

Hermione, on the other hand, seemed to be unaware of Draco's vitriol. He averted her attention back to the house elf. "Did you find anything, Winky?"

Winky's eyes doubled in size as she nodded enthusiastically. "Oh, yes, Curly-Haired Miss! Winky is not finding anything herself, but one of the other elves found lots of the special herb in…" She paused, biting her lip and averting her gaze to the floor.

"Winky," Hermione said, placing a soothing hand on her shoulder. "You can tell me."

Her lip shook as she hesitantly looked up at MacMillian and pointed a shaking finger at him. "Other house elves is finding the special herb in Shiny-Badged Mister's room! He has lots and lots of it!"

Ernie immediately turned a puce color and sputtered in indignation. "That's ridiculous! That's just… I mean I started the campaign. This house elf is obviously lying. This is infur-inating!" He promptly barreled over in a fit of laughter at his misstatement. "Inf-urinating! Classic Ern, you old chap."

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. "Ernie. Are you high?"

He immediately stopped laughing. "High? I can't be high. I don't do drugs."

"Right. Except you are. High, that is."

Ernie gaped at the Head Girl and rounded on Neville and Draco. "You two did something! I know it!"

Draco rolled his eyes. "What exactly are we meant to have done?"

Ernie blinked comically. "I don't know." He paused for a moment, his jaw agape. "But it had to be something!"

"Ernie," Hermione sighed, shaking her head. "Deflecting won't help. I'm just…" She sighed again. "I'm very disappointed in you."

Ernie looked like a kicked puppy.

"I think I'm going to have to take this to the Headmistress."

"No! Hermione, please. You can't! I didn't do anything!"

"So, you're saying the house elves are lying and that you're not high. Which, by the way, you clearly are."

He gaped for a moment. "I…I…I don't know. I…don't really know what's going on right now."

"That'll be the drugs," Neville muttered.

"Maybe I was framed!"

"Seems fairly unlikely," Draco said with faux sympathy. "It's not like Longbottom and I could very well hold you down and force you to do drugs."

Ernie looked close to tears. "But I swear, I really didn't do anyth—"

Hermione placed her hands on her hips and continued to scold him. "You want to tell McGonagall that? Do you think she'll believe you? Your state of sobriety doesn't exactly inspire credibility right now, Ernie."

Draco and Neville suppressed the part of them that wanted to point out that McGonagall too was stoned out of her mind right now, but they kept quiet. Hermione seemed like she had it all under control.

"Please don't say anything, Hermione."

"Why shouldn't I? After all, you've spent the past few weeks harassing my fiancé and my friend. And it was you the entire time! Is that what you would call behavior befitting a Head Boy?"

Merlin's saggy testicle, it would suck to be MacMillan right now. The Head Boy was so desperate, he was practically weeping. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm so sorry. I promise I'll leave Draco and Neville alone. I was…I was out of line."

"What about me? I heard you had house elves tailing me. That is the most unprofessional thing I've ever heard, Ernie. I can't believe you'd treat a colleague that way."

Draco had never been more attracted to Hermione while she was fully-clothed as he was at this moment. She was everything he'd ever wanted in a wife: brilliant, loyal, diabolical. And dat arse.

"Hermione, you know how much I respect you. I can't apologize enough. I was wrong. Please don't tell the Headmistress."

Hermione appeared to be thinking. She regarded the pitiful little man prostrating himself before her and affected a pained expression. "I can't believe I'm even considering helping you after the way you treated me and my friends. I could compromise my own position as Head Girl if I covered for you, you do realize that? But…" She sighed in faux-defeat. "But I know how hard you've worked for your position, Ernie. And I know what it means to you. So, I'm going to give you an opportunity to get rid of the evidence."

MacMillian's eyes filled with grateful tears. "Thank you, Hermione."

"However, since you've proven to be untrustworthy,I'm sending Winky with you. And I think you owe Winky an apology for calling her a liar."

Ernie nearly tripped over himself to agree. Hermione couldn't even look at the boy as her face shuffled through at least twenty different flawless expressions that would have put Meryl Streep to shame. I'd like to thank the Academy.

Draco had never seen such artistry. Not from his father. Not from his mother. Not from any Slytherin. The little minx had managed to convince the Head Boy that he was not only delusional, which in itself would have been impressive, but that he was actually guilty himself.

"I can't thank you enough, Hermione," Ernie said, his eyes shining with relief that he would not be parted from his all-important Head Boy badge.

As soon as the Head Boy disappeared up the stairs with the house elf, Draco smoldered at Hermione. "You…" he panted. "Oh, you bad, bad girl." He grabbed her around the waist and buried his face in her neck. "You are so getting fucked."

Neville groaned. "Hermione, as grateful as I am to you for dealing with the Dick-Millian thing, could you please convince that animal you've somehow agreed to marry that you two shouldn't copulate in the middle of the corridor."

"Library," she managed to choke out.

Draco might have broken his neck nodding to agree. "Lead the way."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up," Neville said, grabbing Draco's arm. "Don't you think we should talk about what we're going to do next? George did say we could—"

"Not a good time, Longbottom," Draco said, growling at Neville.

"I'll meet you in our spot," Hermione said, shooting Draco a sultry look. "And I'll be ready for you."

Draco bit his lip in lustful agony at the realization that "ready" meant she would be strumming one out while waiting in the very spot in the Restricted Section where she sucked him off for the first time. "Fuck. I promise, I'll make this quick."

Neville rolled his eyes. "Words you'll say on your wedding night, Malfoy?"

"What do you want? Can't you see I have more pressing matter to attend to?"

"I just think we should strategize. After all, if we are going to be working together in the future, we need to make sure that—"

"Look, I'm not going to argue with you, Longbottom. Not right now. I will concede that we are fucking lucky to have gotten away with all the shite we got into this year. And in the future, I can't promise to be less of a twat, as I'm sure you'll obstinately continue to be the biggest chav in living history—"

"Oi, I'm not a fucking chav!" Neville exclaimed, chavly.

"—but, I will promise to take all of this to heart and be less careless—"

"Good."

"—even if I am regularly fucking a Gryffindor and getting her recklessness all over me."

Neville sighed. "As crass and fucking insulting as all of that is, I'll take it for now."

"Good. Now," Draco straightened himself up. "It appears the Brightest Witch of Our Age has got a little Slytherin in her. I'm going to go put about eight inches more in her."

"How you can even think about sex after we just narrowly escaped Azkaban and expulsion is beyond me, Malfoy."

Draco scoffed as though it were a ridiculous statement. "It's safe to assume I'm pretty much always thinking about sex, Longbottom. Have you bloody seen my fiancée? And believe me. After spending a year with her and the Twat Twins on the run, I can tell you that nothing gets her hornier than a narrow escape with death or capture."

"Didn't need to know that, but alright," Neville said.

"If you were smart, you'd take a leaf out of my book and go after Denna Nannott."

Neville inhaled deeply, realizing it was useless to correct his business partner. One day he'd learn her name. "You think?"

"No, Longbottom. Wanking three times a day is far more satisfying than getting off with a girl you fancy."

Neville opened his mouth to argue, but realized he was right. He had a close call with authority today. He had done something dangerous and reckless. He was a bloody Gryffindor. Hot-blooded and proud. Perhaps, Neville, the Awkward Virgin should finally be put to bed, no pun intended.

"And speaking of getting off, Longbottom, this conversation is over." Draco promptly headed off in the direction of the library.

Neville chuckled and headed towards the Main Staircase. He was headed to the Owlery to send Hannah a message, when he ran into her.

"Hey, stranger."

"Hey," he said, smiling. "I was just coming to find you to see if you wanted to get dinner."

She smiled. "I ate at the Leaky."

"The Leaky? What were you doing in Diagon Alley?" Had she been there the same time he and Malfoy were at George's shop?

"I had an interview there."

"At the Leaky?"

She rolled her eyes, smiling at his daftness. "Yes, you goon. At the Leaky. It was for a management position. Tom wants to retire."

"Seriously? That sounds perfect for you. How did it go?"

She smiled brightly. "I got the job."

"Hannah, that is brilliant." He picked her up and spun her, kissing her on the cheek. "I'm so proud of you."

She giggled at his attentions. "I'll have to learn a few things about cooking."

"You'll master it."

She smirked at him. "We could be a culinary power couple. I'll run a pub, and you'll make mind-altering pastries."

Neville's face fell. Did she just say…? "Um…I'll…what?"

She bit her lip. "Can we talk about this somewhere else? We're sort of…out in the open."

"Yeah, um…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Let's…" He could hardly even think straight. How did she know? He was certain his anonymity was protected.

"Your room."

"Huh?"

"For privacy. You know, since you can't get into mine."

"Oh. Right." Seriously, how did she know?

Even in the cozy familiarity of his dorm room, he couldn't help but feel nervous. What if Hannah broke up with him?

But no. She said something about being a culinary power couple. That meant she wanted to stay with him. Right?

Hannah sat on his bed and grasped his hand. "Hey. I can see those neurotic little wheels turning in your head. You don't need to worry. I'm not upset you didn't tell me."

"You're not?" Thank Merlin.

"Of course not. I understand."

"Oh." Well, that was easy. "Draco didn't tell Hermione either. We agreed it was best."

She nodded. "Probably smart to limit the amount of people would know about it."

"I probably shouldn't have bothered." He smirked. "How long have you known?"

She bit her lip. "Well…you might not realize it, but you do sometimes smell of it. I didn't notice it at first, but then we started…you know." She blushed, unable to say "fooling around," as relatively innocent as those words were. "And I got closer to you."

He raised an impressed eyebrow. "Powers of deduction and seduction."

She smiled. "I suppose so." She leaned in and kissed him. It was meant to be an act of assurance that everything was alright between them despite the fact that he had been keeping secrets from her.

Neville, in his relief, pulled her closer and the tone of the kiss shifted into something…more. More adult. More needy. Just…more.

She smiled into the kiss. "Neville," she whispered. "I think I'm ready."

He stopped breathing for approximately four seconds. "I, um…."

"It's alright if you don't want to."

"No, no, no, no, no. That's not it. I do want to. Very much. It's just…I've never…"

She bestowed another one of her healing, assurance kisses upon him. "Let's just figure it out together, shall we?"

Draco stalked over to the spot in the back of the Restricted Section where their whirlwind romance had first begun. The place where he first learned that Hermione Granger gave head that could make a grown man cry.

Sure enough, she was leaning against a bookshelf, her chest flushed from where she had gotten "ready" for him.

He growled at the sight. "Sweet hell."

She grabbed him by the tie and smashed their mouths together.

"You…" kiss, "filthy…" kiss, "evil little bitch."

She responded by shoving her hand down his pants and immediately grabbing his dick.

He nearly yowled at the feel of it. "Mmmm. Oh, baby. You're a bad, bad girl, aren't you?"

She panted as she languidly pumped him. "Yeah, I'm so bad."

He bit his lip to keep from crying out as she swiped a finger over his leaking tip. "I'm not even going to silence the area. You need to learn a lesson. So, let's see how quiet you can be."

"Well, that depends on you, doesn't it?"

"You're fucking mad if you think I'm going to take it easy on you." He lightly bit her bottom lip. "I'm going to fuck the living soul out of you."

She released a pained little whine from the back of her throat. "Please."

He grabbed her chin and tilted her face as close to his as possible without kissing her. "Get on your knees and suck me."

"Ow, Neville. You're on my hair."

"Sorry, love." He flicked his thumb over her clit. He had used his fingers a few times to bring Hannah off, but he had always needed quite a bit of direction. This was all rather new to him.

"How does that feel."

"Good. It…it feels good. Do you think you could…um…dunk a finger or two into me? My clit's a little too dry right now."

"Oh. Right." Bugger, he always forgot that part. "How about now?"

"Mmmm. Much better."

Draco's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he watched his dick disappear into Hermione's beautiful face. "Just like that, baby," he urged her on.

She swirled her tongue around the tip, causing him to invent new curse words. "Touch yourself," he demanded. "Show me how much you like sucking me off."

She smirked over his cock and eagerly obeyed.

"Jesus fucking…"

She moaned over his cock as she pleasured herself.

"Oh, shit." He pulled her face off of him, knowing that if he allowed her to continue, he was going to come down her throat. As much as he enjoyed doing that, he promised her a hard fucking. And he intended to make good on that promise.

"Are you okay?"

Hannah panted lightly. "Yeah. I think so. It…it hurts a bit, but…." She shifted her legs tighter around his waist. "Just keep moving."

Neville rocked his hips into her. He wanted to close his eyes at the remarkable feel of the heaven he was currently buried inside. "I love you."

"You…what?"

He instantly stilled his hips. "I um…" Shit. "I didn't mean to say that."

Hannah bit her lip nervously. "So, you don't mean it?"

"No, I do mean it. I just…I hadn't planned on…" He sighed. It was awkward to have this conversation when he was inside of her. "You feel so good, and I just…"

She smiled and pulled him in for a deep kiss. "I love you too."

"Alright?" Lawrence Baker addressed a group of fellow fifth year Ravenclaws, surrounded by energy potions and perfectly tabbed outlines, at a table in the library. Despite having swotted mightily for their upcoming OWLs, each was convinced they would fail. Lawrence himself, wasn't bothered. He pulled a pink lady apple out of his pocket and polished it on his robes.

A frazzled blonde girl who looked like she hadn't slept in days glared at him. "Aren't you at all bothered, Lawrence? Don't you think you should study?"

He shrugged as he chewed the fruit. "Nah."

Oh, how the other Ravenclaws loathed him.

In that moment, Janet Mantel walked by the table, wearing a ratty old T-shirt of a wizarding punk band called The Rage. "Hey, Lawrence. Did Atkinson get ahold of you earlier?"

"Yeah," he said, taking a slow bite of his apple.

She rolled her eyes. "And?"

He shrugged. "I guess Malfoy got sick of dealing."

Janet's eyes widened as she glanced around the table. "Lawrence. Remember Rule Number Six?"

He shrugged, taking another bite of his apple. "We don't work for him anymore."

One of the Ravenclaw students looked up from their studying long enough to catch the gist of the conversation. "You know, there's a bill going up before the Wizengamot sometime soon. Marijuana won't be illegal for much longer."

Lawrence's face broke into a rare smile. "Finally, those worthless fuckers in the government are catching on. I just hope they don't ruin it for all of us by over-regulating it."

"They will," Janet said. "The fucking Man always ruins everything."

"Word," said Lawrence, holding up his fist for Janet to bump.

"Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod," chanted one of the students, a dark-haired boy with horn-rimmed glasses. "I've read this page five times. I didn't retain any of it."

"You should smoke a J, man. Calm down a bit," Lawrence offered.

His fellow eagles all rolled their eyes. "Who has time for that?" the blonde girl asked. "Just because you have no aspirations other than being a drug dealer, doesn't mean that the rest of us don't want to—"

Thump, thump, thump.

The Ravenclaws all looked at one another, exchanging 'did you hear that?' glances.

Thump, thump, thump.

"Am I going crazy? Like, have I actually studied myself insane?" the bespectacled boy asked.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

"What the shit is that?" Janet asked.

THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUUUUUUP!

"It's coming from the back of the library." the blonde deduced.

Lawrence shrugged and took another bite of his apple. "Probably just people fucking."

"Wow!" Neville panted, trying to catch his breath. He hadn't lasted long, but that had been, without a doubt, the best thing he'd ever done. "Can we do it again?"

Hannah giggled. She, unlike Neville, did not come. But she had enjoyed it all the same. It had been special. It had been sweet. It had been with a boy she loved and who loved her back. All in all, despite the lack of orgasm on her part, it had been everything she expected out of her first time. Neville and her had all the time in the world to learn each other's bodies together.

And practice makes perfect.

"Get over here."

The sun went down over Hogwarts. Students and teachers alike slowly made their way to their rooms, their bellies uncomfortably full and their heads fuzzy.

Exhausted house elves passed out in their cots, utterly spent after a manic day of marathon cooking. Ernie MacMillian cradled his Head Boy badge to his chest as he curled up in his bed. The group of Ravenclaw fifth years set early alarm charms on their wands so they would be able to get an early start to their studying the next day. Draco and Hermione slept in each other's arms, sated and happy, each having a side of the bed to which they would remain loyal for the rest of their lives. Neville drew the curtains in his own bed so Hannah could spend the night, free from the eighteen-year-old eyes of Dean and Seamus. Evan Atkinson straightened his vanity, which contained several hair products he suspected Draco used, and fell into bed, wondering if he should dye his hair blond. Janet Mantel finished writing a strongly-worded letter to the Ministry, promising that if they did not pass the bill legalizing marijuana, she would organize a protest so disruptive, it would result in untold levels of paperwork. Lawrence Baker finally finished his apple.

There was peace in the castle. All was well.

"Hello?" cried a hoarse voice from the kitchens. "Could somebody please let Gimpy down from the ceiling? Anybody?"

The following day, Neville awoke early. He felt different. He felt new.

He had lost his virginity to the girl he loved. He had tens of thousands of Galleons that he didn't have yesterday. He had a successful business plan on the horizon. And he was pretty sure Draco Malfoy was his best friend.

He couldn't help but laugh. Life was…strange.

He went for a walk on the grounds to greet the new day. For the first time in a long time, he had no worries. In fact, he wouldn't change a thing about his life now. As he wandered, he found himself at his greenhouse; the one that had previously held his babies. He would need to find a space after graduation where he could grow more.

It was exciting.

But apparently, he wasn't the only one who decided to take a walk that morning. "Draco?"

"Hey, Longbottom."

"Couldn't sleep?"

Draco smiled. "I slept terrifically."

"Gross. Don't want to hear about it."

Smirk. "What about you? You have that glow."

"What glow?"

"Like you've just been plucked." He pulled a joint out of his pocket and lit it with his wand.

Neville couldn't help but smile. "Shut up."

"Uh huh." Draco inhaled. "Banana Shabbot finally popped your guymen."

"It's Hannah Ab—" He grinned as Draco handed him the joint. "Yeah. She did." He inhaled. "This is some good shit."

"All you, mate. You do grow good shit." Draco took a hit of the joint. "So." He inhaled. "I was thinking. I'm getting married soon."

"I'm aware."

Draco shrugged nonchalantly. "You want to be my best man?"

It should have been more of a surprise than it was. But after everything they had been through, Neville could only nod. "Sure."

"Good." Draco took another hit. And that's all he had to say regarding that conversation.

Neville took the joint from him. "We'll need a new space if we want to grow more plants."

"We can use the grounds at the Manor. They're large. Private. The house elves would crucify me if I didn't give them something to do."

"Sounds good," Neville said, nodding his head and taking the final hit of the joint. "And it'll be fifty/fifty. It should have been that from the start, really. I'd never be able to do what you do."

Draco shrugged. "I'm not too bothered about the money. It's just fun."

Neville chuckled. "It is fucking fun, isn't it?"

Draco fixed him with a serious look. "Hermione mentioned there's a bill going up to the Wizengamot next year to legalize it. We'll have a Ministry agent up our arse to make sure we follow the regulations, but we won't risk going to Azkaban."

Neville grinned mischievously. "Have them deal with Whimsy. They'll probably leave us alone."

Draco sniggered. "Ready to build an empire, Longbottom?"

The sun arose over the Great Lake. The birds chirped, announcing the morning. The new day was here.

"I'm ready."

THE END

A/N: Happy New Year! New beginnings for one and all!