Chapter 15
Sacrifice
I start to walk away from the Denali's cave, into the night. Do they think it helps me to hear that Gregorio is a good man? Do they think I need to hear that he loves me? I know these things. Even in my most bitter moments, I know these things. But that doesn't do me any good. It isn't enough. He doesn't love me enough.
Why did I think being alone was a good idea? All I'm going to do is think about him. About him telling me that he's sorry. About him saying he won't interfere with our plans. About how good he looks in jeans and a sweater. But it's not enough. None of that is enough. If he loved me the way I love him, his initial reaction in Greenland would have been different. He wouldn't have accused me of having ulterior motives. He would have known that he was the only reason I was there. He would have been willing to listen to me right then and there instead waiting an entire day to tell me he was wrong.
The smell of blood drifts through the dry, Alaskan air. It's remarkably pungent. I can tell it belongs to a big animal with a diet of woody plants and other forest vegetation. Probably a moose or maybe caribou. It must be close. The smell is so strong. I wasn't hungry, but the rich smell ignites my cravings. I start running through the wilderness toward it. It's further away than I thought. The smell keeps growing stronger, but I still haven't reached it.
It suddenly occurs to me that the scent is so strong because the blood is exposed. Something has already taken down the animal. I get excited. I might face a giant grizzly, which will surely fight me for the meal. Battle with a beast five times my size is exactly what I need right now. I quicken my pace and close in on the hunt. I better be careful, though, because I may be faced with a pack of wolves. I prefer a one-on-one fight.
I'm very close now. I can practically taste the blood in the crisp air. I slow down and move silently through the brush. I want to assess my enemy without letting them know I'm here. The kill is in a forested area just up ahead. I move cautiously and silently through the bramble, closing in on it. I see the silhouette of the lumpy carcass. I see its killer, which is so busy feasting that it doesn't notice my approach. It's not a grizzly. It's not a pack of wolves, either. The solitary figure is hunched over the animal, slurping away furiously. I recognize the tweed jacket and the slick of black waves. I am stunned. It's Gregorio.
I'm so shocked to catch him in this act that I continue stepping forward in a trance. I'm not trying to stifle the sound of my footsteps. I'm not trying to hide. I'm only subconsciously moving forward, trying to figure out why in the hell he is dong this. He could have easily made it to the perimeter and had his choice of humans. It's not as if he'd been so completely famished that he was unable to wait the few extra minutes. He'd had no purple circles under his eyes; his complexion had been perfectly smooth and pale. And I know he doesn't like the taste of beasts, especially herbivores. Why is he doing this?
I'm very close to him, practically right next to him before he turns and tilts his head toward me. His eyes are unfocused, and he's snarling. He's only turned on instinct because he thinks I'm competition. I stay frozen in place and let his eyes clear. I watch them gradually come into focus. He remains crouched over the animal and stares at me, unmoving. A line of blood runs from one corner of his mouth. He seems just as surprised to see me as I was to see him.
"Gregorio, why are you eating a moose?" I ask.
He stares and doesn't say a thing. Something in his eyes seems a little frightened.
"Why aren't you in the next village, hunting Eskimos?" I persist.
His lips barely move when he utters, "For you."
"You're eating a moose for me?" I say. I'm confused, but then something clicks. "Are you saying that you're avoiding humans? For me?"
He almost imperceptibly nods and doesn't break our eye contact.
"But…but 'it's a fools' game,'" I stammer, quoting him. "You don't believe in it. Why would you do this?" I'm absolutely mystified.
"For you," he repeats, again barely moving his lips and keeping his stunned, coal black eyes locked on mine.
For me? I can't believe it. Yet here he is, sucking on a moose for no other readily apparent reason. Is this a trick? A ruse to get me to give him another chance? But he couldn't have known how soon I'd come along, if at all. Was he just going to crouch here all night, waiting? I study the lingering shock on his face and know that this scenario was not planned, not premeditated. He's doing this. He's doing this for real. For me.
He hasn't moved since first looking up. He's on his knees, hunched over the animal with his head turned toward me. His mouth hangs slightly open, and I can see blood pooled around his bottom row of teeth. I lower myself to my knees in front of him. I put one hand on his shoulder and the other to his jaw. I lean in and touch my lips lightly to his scar. His lovely scar. He doesn't move. I pull back and study his eyes. I don't see an ounce of arrogant triumph there. I see…hope.
My mouth is back on his in five millionths of a second flat. This time he turns his body to me and rises up on his knees. My head tilts back to compensate for his height, and warm, salty, moose blood gushes into my mouth and down the sides of my face. It makes our lips slick so that they slip and slide over and across each other as Gregorio pulls me to him. I cling to him with everything I have. This is it. No more doubts. No more second guessing.
Gregorio grasps the back of my head and holds me still. He pulls his face ever so slightly away from mine, so he can speak breathlessly. "Elisabeta, I can't make any promises. I don't know how long I'll be any good at abstaining from humans. But I'm trying. I'm trying."
"Oh, Gregorio, you don't have to do this. I don't expect you to change your life for me. I love you no matter what," I tell him earnestly.
He rests his forehead on mine and captures me in the endless black of his irises, "Will it make you happy if I can live as a vegan?" he asks.
"Yes, but--"
"Then I'll try," he interjects firmly.
I give him a huge, blood-smeared grin, and then we're back to slipping and sliding. It's amazing to be back in his arms. I don't ever want to leave them again. He's trying. He loves me enough.
We get a bit carried away, and before long I find myself out in the frigid Alaskan tundra stripped down to my cami and boy shorts. I've never felt warmer. Somehow Gregorio's sweater is completely off, but his jacket is still on. It hangs open, revealing his strong chest and flat, delectable stomach. It'll be a shame to see all that covered up again. I slide my hands under his jacket and run them up the muscles of his sides and over his chest. We stay close and lick the blood from each other's faces like cats. When we're clean, we linger for a long, soft kiss before starting to put ourselves back together.
I find my pants and pull them up. I'm in a cloud, fantasizing about my future with Gregorio. "Won't Viktor be thrilled – his two favorites in love," I say absently.
Gregorio's face turns unexpectedly serious and he says, "I'd hardly use the word 'thrilled,'"
I'm surprised by this response. "Why not?" I ask, tilting my head as I button my pants.
He threads his fingers through my hair and tilts my head further, exposing the side of my neck.
"You are so deliciously naive, my sweet girl," he says. Instead of explaining whatever that is supposed to mean, he touches his cool lips to the base of my jaw and draws the edges of his sharp teeth slowly down my throat to my clavicle. A light trail of seering pain follows his progress. If I were human, my neck would be slit clean open and gushing blood.
"He created you," he says quietly as he kisses his way across my throat and around to the thick muscle at the back of it.
He's mimicking the classic seduction ritual through which male vampires often transform – or kill – their female, human prey. Viktor had probably done something like this to me hundreds of years ago. As Gregorio sinks his teeth into my stone flesh and begins to suck, I wonder if perhaps his last statement had carried a note of jealousy. His tongue and mouth continue to work on me and my thoughts scramble - what is potentially fatal to a human is intensely pleasurable to a vampire. I sigh out loud.
Gregorio pulls away and regards me with haughty satisfaction. I surely hadn't sighed for Viktor.
I let Gregorio stretch my arm out and work his way along it in a long line of teasing, baby kisses. This isn't part of any ritual. It's simply my lover kissing me. Each feathery kiss is so light that it tickles and makes me want more.
Gregorio hasn't finished his explanation of why Viktor won't be happy we're together, but I'm waiting very patiently. I'm quite enjoying the delay. When he reaches my wrist, he grasps it and spins my waist with his other hand. He crosses both of my arms over my stomach and holds me so that my back is pressed against his naked chest.
He nuzzles his mouth into my bare shoulder and murmurs, "He's not going to like seeing that your loyalty has transferred to me."
"Loyalty?" I bristle. He talks of me as if I'm nothing more than a puppy running to whoever offers the best treats.
I try to pull away from him, but he holds me firm. I lean my shoulders as far forward as I can and turn to look at him. He's smirking. I narrow my eyes at him.
"My loyalty has only ever belonged to one person and will always belong to only that person," I tell him.
He cocks a curious eyebrow at me, wondering who this person is.
"Me!" I inform him.
A corner of his mouth rises in an approving smile.
"Well then, my queen, I am your loyal subject," he says, bowing his head slightly in mock submission. When he lifts his head, his eyes are again crinkled with concern. "And Viktor isn't going to like that any better," he says ominously.
He slackens his grip on my hands, and I spin around in his arms and kiss him hard on the mouth. Viktor shmiktor. I am loyal to Gregorio, and he is loyal to me. We are loyal to each other, and that's all that matters. Hang everything else. It'll all work out. It has to. My arms wind tightly around his neck, and he wraps his arms just as tightly around my waist.
We manage to stop at a kiss this time and then finish getting dressed. Gregorio needs to return to Romania immediately to stave off suspicion, and I need to stay in Alaska to complete the business I came here for. It's best if we arrive in Romania separately, anyway. Gregorio has convinced me that we should keep our relationship a secret from everyone at B.I.T.E. until he's had a chance to feel Viktor out on the subject.
I'm suddenly starving, so we drink every last drop of the moose together. Gregorio is surprised at how filling it is. Then we reluctantly part in the forest, stepping slowly away from each other and not relinquishing our touch until the last fingertip is stretched to its limit. I'll miss him, but it's impossible for me to be sad right now. I'm too elated by knowing that what Gregorio and I have is real and better than ever.
I try to mask my face in something other than idiotic bliss when I reenter the cave. Edward and Alice are alone in the big room. My attempt to play it cool doesn't do me any good, because Alice immediately smiles a small, knowing smile and begins humming a gleeful tune that sounds suspiciously like 'I told you so,' repeated over and over again.
"How could you possibly know?" I demand incredulously.
"I had a vision as soon as you shut the door," she explains.
"Well, how do you know that wasn't a potentially inaccurate vision of something way in the future, somewhere else?" I challenge.
"I saw the moose and recognized the stand of trees. And you were wearing that same outfit…for a while, anyway," she adds slyly.
I gasp and replay the scene from the woods in my head to get an idea of what she might've seen. Then I remember that Edward can read both my thoughts and Alice's visions. I snap my gaze to him and try to shut down my mind. I can see from his mild embarrassment that he's been tuning in.
"Do you two ever feel like disgusting, voyeuristic pervs?" I ask. I'm trying to be irritable with them, but I can't seem to wipe the moronic grin from my face.
Alice merely shrugs, and Edward bites back a smile.
The door swings open, and Kate bounds in with the new guy behind her. They've returned from their scouting trip.
"Hello, everyone," Kate calls and the rest of the Denali clan filters in from the smaller rooms. "Oh, Elie, you're already here," Kate says. Her voice is neither friendly nor unfriendly. "You haven't met Garrett. He's joined our clan. Garrett, this is Elie, the researcher from B.I.T.E." She glows adoringly at the new vampire as he reaches out to take my hand.
"I've heard all about you Garrett," I say, grasping his hand firmly. "Welcome to our mission of insanity."
Garrett grins. "Pleased to be a part of it. A little craziness never hurt anybody."
"That can be our motto," I say and smile. I already like him. I can see that he'll liven up the Denali group. Plus - let's face it - everyone around me is going to look pretty damned good through these rose-colored lenses I'm wearing in my love-intoxicated state.
Kate and Garrett exchange greetings with Edward and Alice, who weren't here when they left on their trip. Kate asks, "Edward, where's Bella?"
A stormy cloud passes through his eyes when he answers succinctly, "She stayed home with the baby."
Kate pulls her eyebrows together and opens her mouth as if to ask another question, when Alice swiftly makes a slashing motion with her hand across her throat, indicating that Kate should drop it. Apparently all's not well in paradise.
Kate redirects her question to Alice. "Oh. Well, where's Jasper then?"
"He's home watching over…uh…things," Alice replies cryptically and stays silent.
Kate gives up trying to make conversation with the Cullens and turns her focus to her family. I look questioningly at Alice, who tilts her head, surreptitiously motioning me to the other side of the room. Once there, she tells me, "Jasper's watching over Bella."
"Oh no," I say as low as I can. "Is she exhibiting signs of typical newborn behavior?"
"No," Alice answers quickly. "You just kind of reignited Jasper's paranoia with the things you said at your last visit. She's not too happy with you."
Oh, well.
"To be honest, we're all a little concerned that her current state of agitation could trigger something. Jasper's trying to regulate her mood. She's really mad at Edward for coming here without her. He thought the baby was too young to make the trip, but--"
We're interrupted by Edward, who had appeared to be in conversation across the room. "Please keep private family matters private, Alice," he admonishes.
"Okay, sorry," she answers. She starts to give me a sideways glance, but Edward stops her eyeballs half way there.
"I'd rather you didn't tell her later," he says.
"Sorry," Alice mumbles to me, and the subject is dropped.
"Ladies, come over here," Carmen says. "I think you'll be very interested in what Kate and Garrett have just told us."
We rejoin the group, and Eleazar says, "Tell them, Garrett."
"Well, it appears that public sentiment has turned against the Volturi thanks to testimonial by the witnesses that the Volturi themselves brought to our little soiree in Washington. The witnesses are out there talking to anyone who will listen about how unfairly the Italians tried to use their power.
"The Volturi tracked down a few of the witnesses and disposed of them immediately after they left us, but they couldn't get to all of them at once, so the word started to spread before they could control it. I guess they decided that killing the rest of the witnesses wouldn't be a good way to improve their increasingly bad reputation, and they've apparently given up on hunting them down. They are officially denying any involvement in the deaths of the few witnesses that were already killed and even went so far as to blame our friends in La Push for the murders, but no one is buying that story, and voila - trust in the Volturi is further weakened.
"This can be very good for us for two reasons. Number one, vampires are feeling a bit rebellious against our self-appointed leaders, so they might be up for engaging in a lifestyle that the Volturi won't approve of. Number two, in their eyes, the Volturi look like a bunch of wimps for backing down from the fight, so they're not nearly so afraid of them any more."
Those two reasons give me an uneasy feeling that I can't quite identify. Tanya puts it together for me when she vocalizes what I'm thinking. "Couldn't this rebelliousness and lack of respect for authority also be a very bad thing? What if vampires around the globe start running amuck, killing humans left and right?" she asks poignantly.
Eleazar answers, "That's why it's important for us to get out there to point this nervous energy in a good direction, before it can manifest itself another way."
Kate adds to what he's said. "The main reason everyone is so down on the Volturi is because of their abuse of power. It would be a completely illogical response for them to then abuse their own powers by rampaging on humans."
"Brilliantly put, sweetheart." Garrett says.
We continue to debate what all of this means, and then a committee of five – me, Edward, Alice, Tanya and Eleazar - sit down at a round table to hammer out a specific game plan. Carmen brings us a world map, which we spread out on the table.
We divide the world into geographic segments and discuss who should cover which areas, based on contacts and cultural knowledge. We're going to start out by talking with those vampires that we think will be most amenable to trying out the vegan lifestyle. We've set a first phase goal of recruiting two vampires per region. We'll do what we can to help them succeed, and when they've made good progress, we'll encourage them to tell two friends, and then they can tell two friends, and so on and so on and…
We're also working on a list of five to ten talking points that we can use when we're out there evangelizing. We figure a well thought out, consistent message will work best. I think that we have worked out a solid plan; I just wish that we had more resources, more support to offer to those vampires as they adapt to their new lifestyle. It's going to be extremely difficult for them. I'm thinking of one vampire in particular. One very handsome, very sophisticated, very sexy vampire. I wish I could find a way to make it easier for him.
Edward has picked up on the tangent of my thoughts. One corner of his mouth twitches, and he asks me, "So, do you call him 'Greggie' or 'Orio?'"
"Edward Cullen," I say in feigned shock. "Did you just make a joke?" I reach over and rumple his already rumpled hair, saying, "I'm proud of you, Ward."
He laughingly pushes my hand away, then I sit back and think about a nickname for Gregorio. "You know, I think he's too much man to encapsulate in a nickname. To me, he'll always be Gregorio," I say, pronouncing his name in an exaggerated accent and shaking my fingertips, which are pressed to my thumb, in a decidedly Italian gesture.
Alice smiles coyly. "I don't know. If my first vision was accurate, you'll just be calling him 'Yes, yes, yes!'" she says, getting in my face and slamming the table with her hand every time she says 'yes.'
"Alice!" I scream in delighted embarrassment, and the two of us bust out in a fit of giggles. Even Edward laughs his beautiful laugh. Eleazar seems uncomfortable with the line of teasing, and Tanya glares at me resentfully.
We get back to business as soon as Alice and I calm down. I stay a couple more days so we can get input from the others and tweak the plan. On my last day, Carlisle and Esme join us. When they walk in, Edward studies them intensely. A cloud passes over his face and settles there. He's gleaned some information from home and isn't pleased about it. No one elaborates on what this news is, and no one asks about it, although Alice shoots concerned looks at her family. They'll tell her later, when the rest of us aren't around. Edward only sticks around long enough to bring Carlisle and Esme up to speed and then heads for home, leaving us to finish up without him
We finish up, and I pack my things. In a couple of weeks, I'll head down to Madagascar to bring them into the fold. But first I'm going to Romania. I'm going to see Gregorio.