Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or the song "Numb" by Linkin Park, but this is my idea, and I do hope you all enjoy, lol.

A/N: Well, this one is a smidge...different. Its kind of goes into what I feel would be a possible reaon for Roxas abandoning the Organization and his thoughts about Xemnas. Now, "Numb" is about as dark and rock my songs are gonna get for my songfics, so don't get to used to the dismal feel this song gives, lol. Anyway, let me know what you think about it and be sure to review:

"Numb"

(Centric: Roxas)

One week before the departure:

Roxas stormed into his room and angrily slammed the door shut as he just plopped on his bead and sighed. "I can't take it anymore…why does he keep pushing me so far?" The blonde was clearly upset as he buried his head into his pillow, helping to find the only place where he had some peace, sleep. This was interrupted by a knocking on his door.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so faithless, lost under the surface.

"Roxas, are you alright?" A voice questioned from behind the door.

"Y-yeah, Axel…I'm fine." Roxas replied as he sat up, glad to hear a friendly voice.

"You sure sound alright. Do you want to talk about it?" Axel inquired, a hint of concern in his voice.

"Yeah…you can come in." The XIIIth member slowly spoke. Axel opened the door and pulled up a chair from Roxas's desk.

"Whoa…what happened? You look like you were caught by a hoard of Heartless in a dark ally." Axel almost gasped when he saw the shape Roxas was in, he looked drained, exhausted, and…sad, yes there was genuine sorrow in his azure eyes.

"It was Xemnas…I can't stand him!" Roxas slammed his fist into the word work of his bed frame.

"What did he do now?" The red-headed Nobody questioned, as he placed his hand on Roxas's shoulder in a brotherly way.

"Well, he put me through some more training…you know, so I'm capable of restoring Kingdom Hearts, being as I wield the Keyblade." Roxas slowly spoke, eyes now void of emotion, it was almost as if he were watching a recording of the moment in his mind.

"Alright…that's nothing new, he does that all the time, doesn't he?" Axel questioned as he rubbed his head in confusion.

"Yeah, but this time he went a step too far…normally he just has me slay a bunch of Heartless he summons, but not this time…" The young man looked to the ground with disgust.

"What happened out there?" The older member had a concerned look on his face.

"He…ordered me to kill…a person…an innocent person, Axel. He just grabbed a guy from off the street, threw him in front of me and said, 'Kill this man.'" Roxas clenched his fists streams of tears rolled down his face.

Don't know what you're expecting of me, put under the pressure of walking in your shoes.

"What! Now that is taking it too far…ugh…did he give you a reason why?" Axel gave a quick jolt as he stood up in shock and horror, he knew Xemnas was low…but this was a new level.

"Yeah…he said that eventually the Heartless might run out, and we would have to create more. He said the Keyblade was the only weapon capable of doing that, so he said I had to get used to destroying people, innocents included." The blonde just shook his head in confusion, this was all too much for him. "I hesitated…there wasn't a reason for me to end the guy's life. Xemnas wasn't happy with that and shocked me with darkness, saying I needed to be ruthless, not caring about who I slay." His added with a shaky voice.

Every step that I take is another mistake to you…

"What happened after that…did you kill the guy?" Axel inquired, he could see why Roxas was upset; even he would have second thoughts about killing someone who didn't deserve it.

"Of course not…Xemnas gave up torturing me and let me go. Before he left he just glared at me and kicked me to the ground, yelling, 'Learn your purpose, XIII'. Then he left using a dark portal. I just couldn't kill him…the thought alone made me sick, send me after a wicked person, a Heartless, heh, I'd even turn on another Nobody before I killed an innocent person." Roxas sighed as he just laid back down on his bed.

"I understand, Roxas…just hang in here, maybe if you keep at it, Xemnas will give up." Axel tried to cheer his exhausted friend up, who just gave tired yawn and fell asleep, Axel took the clue and turned the light out as he left the room. "Xemnas…sometimes I wonder what he's playing at…ugh." Axel angrily thought to himself as he too called it a night and retired to his own room.

Two days before the departure:

Xemnas was, once again, taking Roxas on another personally overseen training exercise. Like last time, he grabbed another innocent person from the street, "Now, we're going to try this again, stab this main in the heart." The Superior gave a cruel, cold, and unforgiving glare as he threw the man before Roxas's feet.

The blonde stepped back with hesitation, "No…I…can't…I won't." The young man shook his head in defiance.

"You dare refute my command? Why are you so stubborn?" Xemnas angrily questioned as he unleashed the power of his nothingness upon Roxas in an attempt to bend the youth's will.

Can't you see that you're smothering me? Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control, cause everything you thought I would be has fallen apart right in front of you.

"B-because…there's got to be a better reason for me having the Keyblade!" Roxas yelled through the screams of anguish and pain.

"Fool, you and the Keyblade are tools for me to use as I please! You will do as I command!" The leader of the Organization roared as I threw Roxas into the wall of a nearby building.

Every step that I take is another mistake to you, and every second I waste is more than I can take.

Roxas fell to the ground, and after a few seconds stammered to get up, "N-no…the Keyblade chose me…I decide how to use it…not you. I'm tired of following your sick, twisted schemes, and if any of the other members would wise up, they'd agree!" The blonde let loose his anger as he yelled at his Superior.

I've become so numb I can't feel you there. Become so tired, so much more aware. I'm becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you.

"I see, and what do you suppose your and the Keyblade's purposes are, then, XIII?" Xemnas gave a cruel chuckle as he crossed his arms in chilling humor.

"I…I don't know…but I'll find out, trust me. I'm sure it doesn't involve killing people for the sole purpose of personal advancement though!" Roxas gruffly spoke as he slowly advanced towards the wall he was slammed against.

"Well, now, if that's the case, you're the biggest disappointment I've ever seen in my life." Xemnas gave a snide grin as he approached the blonde.

"Yeah, well, you would know all about disappointments, wouldn't you, Xemnas, or should I say, Xehanort. I hear that you gave Ansem the Wise a lot of headaches." Roxas smirked as he leaned back against the wall.

"Don't mention that name again!" The lord of the Nobodies angrily exclaimed as he summoned his Aerial Blades and lunged at Roxas, ready to kill being as he had lost his mind in a fit of furry. Roxas ducked into a dark portal and escaped in the nick of time, being sure to close it before Xemnas could follow.

And I know I may end up failing too, but I know you were just like me with someone disappointed in you.

"Phew…well, that probably blew my chance of ever going back to the World that Never Was…I'll survive though." Roxas sighed as he made his way to his chamber and quickly wrote a note to Axel and dropped it off in his room, then made a hasty retreat using another dark portal.

The day of departure:

Roxas was walking down one of the many alleys of the World that Never Was, he had put it on his note to Axel that he should meet him in the very alley he was in. Just as Roxas was about to turn the corner and leave, Axel slid out of a dark portal and leaned against the building.

"Your mind's made up?" The red-head stoically questioned as he turned to face Roxas.

"Why did the Keyblade choose me? I have to know…" Roxas trailed off, perhaps he was having second thoughts about leaving.

"You get on the Organization's bad side and they'll destroy you!" Axel flared up with frustration and confusion, he was worried about what might become of his friend if his fellow members discovered that Roxas had gone AWOL.

"Heh…no one would miss me." Roxas, now with certainty in his voice, walked off, never to return.

"That's not true…I would…" Axel stammered as he watched his best friend disappear into a dark void, things would never be the same without Roxas there, he always brought a…light to the dismal fortress of the Castle that Never was, and that's what he was, the warrior of light, always was, always will be.

I've become so numb I can't feel you there, I'm tired of being what you want me to be.

A/N: Well, I know it was very, very different, but I hope it was okay. Let me know what you think about it and how I did by reviewing, okay?