Title: The ARK Angels of DX in Monster Ink
Author: Kaykyaka
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the WWE and TNA characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.
Ratings: K+
Characters: Shawn, Cameron and Cheyenne Michaels, Amy 'Lita' Dumas Michaels, Hunter Hurst Helmsley, LC Helmsley, Aurora Rose Helmsley, Chyna, Trish and Randy Orton, Melina and Johnny Hennigan, Batista, CM Punk, The Beautiful People, Edge, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio, Stephanie and Chris Jericho, The McCools
Summary: An evil spirit takes possession of Batista and CM Punk and chaos ensues for the RAW locker room. DX discover that the problem is tattooed on the two Superstars but can Shawn and Hunter help them and protect their family at the same-time?
Chapter Thirty Two - DeCeption X
DX Inc, Stamford, Connecticut at 1pm:
Vince and Shane laughed to themselves as they looked over their next plan to completely remove any memory of Degeneration X from the WWE fans.
"They look identical," Shane said looking at a picture of Shawn and Hunter and comparing it to the two wrestlers they had found in Florida that looked exactly like them. Punk had hypnotized them to believe that they were actually Shawn and Hunter, he even went as far as to make them both watch and memorize everything DX had ever done both as a unit and as individual Superstars.
"Now when they go out there in front of all the world and basically remove any love or respect for the people that love them so much, if DX do ever come back they'll be hated forever!" Vince said victoriously and he laughed along with Shane, "My-my-my I'm brilliant!"
"That's why you and only you can run this company dad," Shane assured his father.
"You're damn right," Vince said arrogantly, "okay boys we'll see you this weekend at Cyber Sunday!"
The DX impostors left the office and Vince slammed into a leather chair and exhaled loudly like he was on top of the world. He had gotten CM Punk and Batista to scare the living Hell out of the WWE roster and now upsetting the McMahons and wearing DX merchandise didn't seem like such a cool idea anymore.
"Should we go see Steph?" Shane said sitting down next to his father.
Vince sighed, "She should be so proud of us, I mean look what we pulled off. In three short months we devised the greatest revenge and then executed it with the help of that brilliant husband of hers Chris Jericho. I tell you Shane-o the best thing my daughter ever did was marry that man," Vince said to Shane who nodded, "Actually I'll revise that, the best thing Stephanie ever did was divorce Triple H,"
"Here-here!" Shane said.
"Let's go see her and tell her the good news," Vince said and the McMahons left their newly redecorated office to tell Stephanie that Jericho was indeed King of the World.
The Ortons, Manhattan, New York City, NY at 2pm:
"My husband's such a jerk," Stephanie said wiping her eyes angrily and Trish and Randy nodded.
"That's putting it mildly," Randy said and Trish elbowed him, "What at least she's thinking straight," Randy said rubbing his steel elbow.
"Yes I am thinking straight, I can't believe he pulled the wool over my eyes like this," Stephanie said furiously, "Why did I marry him Trish?"
"That's simple - because you love him," Trish replied.
"I'm in love with a murderer, no that doesn't sound right," Stephanie said shaking her head.
"You're not in love with the part of Jericho that wants to kill people you're in love with the part of him that loves you. Rest assured he loves you Stephanie, he just doesn't realize that his actions are gonna send him straight to Hell," Trish explained.
"You know he didn't want anyone to come to the wedding," Stephanie said.
"Yeah I know," Trish replied.
"I thought it was romantic," Stephanie said with tears rolling down her face.
"It was strategic; he knew if any of the angelic trio came we would have put a stop to the wedding," Trish said.
"Because you knew what he was going to do to DX," Stephanie said.
"No because we didn't want you to get hurt," Trish said softly and Stephanie broke into big tears and Randy rubbed her shoulder compassionately.
"But I am hurt, Trish I'm carrying twins what am I gonna do when they're born, how do you explain to a child that their father is a psychopath?" Stephanie asked in distress and Trish looked at her sombrely.
"You won't have to," she said and she nodded at Randy who took a picture out of his pocket and showed it to Stephanie.
She gasped and looked up at Trish, "Is this really gonna happen?" she asked her in shock at the picture in her hand.
"Unless you don't want it to," Trish replied and Stephanie looked back at the picture and found herself having to ask some very hard questions. Just then her cell phone rang.
"You don't want to answer that," Trish said and Stephanie looked at the name that came up, it was her father.
"Thank you Trish, you saved me from having a total nervous breakdown," Stephanie said letting her cell phone ring while she got up to go to the bathroom.
Trish's face grew sad and Randy pulled her close knowing what she knew, "No I didn't," she said wiping a tear from her eye. "I could have stopped it, I could have stopped her from marrying Jericho," Trish said regretfully.
"You're delirious," Randy said, "You know that's not true,"
"Randy marrying Jericho is the worst possible thing that could have happened to Stephanie," Trish said pulling her head into her hands.
"But what about that other thing that's gonna happen, that's really good for Stephanie," Randy said and Trish remembered the photo Randy showed her of Stephanie in the future.
"Yeah that is really good for Stephanie," she said, "I want to tell her should I tell her now?"
"No are you crazy you can't tell her now? She'd never believe it, even if you are The Truth: Trish Stratus," Randy said.
"Oh you're right, but this thing with Jericho is really getting me down and it's only just beginning," Trish said.
"Every beginning has an ending," Randy said optimistically.
"Yeah but Stephanie's not gonna like this ending," Trish said sadly.
"I know something that's gonna cheer you up," Randy said putting his arm around his wife and pulling her close.
"What?" Trish asked as Stephanie came back over to them and finished off her glass of milk.
"Steph me and Trish are gonna have sex would you like to watch?" Randy asked her and milk came flying out of Stephanie's nose and she looked up at Randy in shock.
"What?" she said in disbelief with droplets of milk hanging from her nose.
Trish held her stomach threw her head back and started laughing hard in her chair, eventually Stephanie joined in and the heaviness pushing down on them all suddenly lifted, if only for a little while.
Sonoran Desert, US-Mexico Border at 4pm:
"The Sonoran Desert is a wonderful place but you would never want to be stranded there." - David Attenborough, Blue Planet
Hunter dragged Joanie up as the three members of Degeneration X crawled over the hot Sonoran Desert sand looking for something to drink. Hunter tried to bust open a cactus and drink the water inside one more time but he kept on getting the long cacti spines stuck in his beard. Shawn rolled his eyes as his best friend stomped on the cactus angrily.
"Ow!" he yelped hopping up and down when one of the spines pierced his boot.
"Hunter I told you cactus only store water when it rains," he said but Hunter was way passed listening to reason at this point.
"Hey wait a second this is the same cactus we passed like four hours ago, where is this help we're supposed to be getting, did Rebecca give a time and date?" Hunter said to Shawn who was looking ahead to see if there were any streams close by - there weren't and the Colorado River was hundreds of miles away from where they were.
"YARGH!" Chyna cried when she saw a rattlesnake by a rock nearby. Shawn hissed at it and it slithered away.
"Cool," he said to himself loving his new Gift from God and Hunter patted him on the back.
"Good one snake boy, now if you see a frog bite it so we can eat it," Hunter said and Joanie turned up her nose in disgust.
"I'm not that hungry," she said.
"I'm not killing anything Hunter we'll find water just be patient," Shawn said.
"But Shawn we've been walking across this desert for hours and its getting dark, look the sun is going down," Hunter said pointing to the horizon and Shawn looked to where Hunter was pointing; the desert was suddenly overcast and it looked like the sun was going down but it wasn't.
"What's causing that shadow?" Shawn wondered then Hunter and Joanie stopped walking.
"Did you feel that?" Joanie asked Hunter.
"Yeah it felt like the ground just moved," Hunter replied and they felt the tremor again, "Okay the ground definitely moved that time,"
"Great now there's gonna be an earthquake!" Joanie said but Shawn shook his head with a smile as a big green monster appeared on the horizon.
"That's no earthquake guys, that's my beautiful wife," Shawn said and ran towards Gash who was now carrying Rey Mysterio as-well as Amy, the Hardyz, Edge, Angelina Love and Cameron and Cheyenne.
"ARGHHH!" Joanie and Hunter screamed as Gash came closer, "Shawn what are you doing get back here!" Hunter called out to his best friend but as exhausted as Shawn was he wasn't too tired to run to his wife. Hunter soon recognized Amy, her red hair like a flame against the big blue sky high up in the air and he realized why Shawn was so happy all of a sudden, "Wait for us!" he said pulling a reluctant Joanie with him towards the big green monster. Gash stopped when Shawn ran up to him and he picked the Showstoppa up and put him next to Amy.
"My love," Shawn said hugging Amy desperately to his chest, "you made it,"
"Of course I did, you know you can always rely on me baby," Amy said and they kissed passionately on Gash's shoulder while their friends and family looked on.
"Uh-hum!" Hunter coughed to get attention and Amy pointed to Hunter and Joanie and Gash picked them up and put them on his right shoulder.
"Whoa my head's in the clouds!" Joanie said amazed at how high up they were.
"Thanks for rescuing us Big Red," Hunter said to Amy but she was too busy kissing Shawn to respond, "Excuse me but there were three of us in that cave you know!" Hunter said feeling left out and Amy signalled for Gash to put Hunter back on the ground, "Okay-okay I'll be quiet, I am a little thirsty though, funny how that happens when you've been stranded in the desert for three days," Hunter said.
"No problem boss, you're water's coming right up," Jeff Hardy said and he turned towards the Gila River which was one of two rivers that flowed through the Sonoran Desert and he called the water over to them.
"Aqua Libre!" Hunter said chanting Jeff's God-given name as the water from the river surrounded them like a huge waterfall and Hunter was about to take a drink but Jeff stopped him.
"Wait don't drink it yet the water hasn't been purified," Jeff said and Hunter tapped Shawn on the shoulder.
"Hey God boy, can you take a break from your make out session and help a brother out?" Hunter asked Shawn who rather than break from Amy's lips simply reached out his hand and blessed the water. Hunter and Joanie drank it gratefully and were instantly refreshed.
"Aren't you thirsty daddy?" Cheyenne asked her father.
"I think he's got all the refreshment he could ever need right now Chey," Cameron said to his sister as Shawn and Amy kissed it up something good on Gash's right shoulder, "If LC was here she would have told you guys to get a room," he said and Hunter looked around and realized they were one ARK Angel short.
"Where's LC?" he asked patting Aurora on the head as she slept soundly in Jeff Hardy's Rainbow Carrier, the desert heat was not at all to her liking.
"Jericho took her," Jeff Hardy replied and Hunter went volcanic.
"WHAT?" he said enraged and he slapped Shawn on the back breaking HBK's kiss and causing the Sonoran Desert to get a little hotter as a result, "Jericho took my baby girl, we have to get her back now!"
"Relax Hunter," Shawn said calmly.
"Relax?" Hunter said incredulously, "Did you hear what I just said?"
"Yeah, you said Jericho's got LC, well Amy's got this 5k ft monster, I say that puts us at a considerable advantage," Shawn said coolly.
"That's right Hunter, with Gash the chances of us getting LC back are extremely high," Amy said just as coolly, kissing Shawn had that effect on her.
"Well extremely high is not good enough, I want my baby girl now! Wait-a-minute, Gash - who the Hell is Gash?" Hunter asked confused.
"I'm Gash," Gash said and the whole desert shook.
"I called him Gash, it means big scary, intimidating," Amy said.
"Yeah well it also means 'vagina'" Hunter said and everyone stared at him, "What it does!"
"I don't like you," Gash said and he flicked Hunter off his shoulder and into the Gila River which currently didn't have any water in it.
"OW!" Hunter yelled from a few hundred miles away from the river bed which had some very dehydrated fish in it.
"Sorry about that guys, I didn't mean to pollute your water with The Game!" Jeff called to the fish and he sent the water back much to the delight of the fish and to the chagrin of Triple H.
"JEFF YOU MORON!" Hunter yelled from under water, "Ow, stupid piranhas . . . wait, piranhas? HELP GET ME OUTTA HERE!" Hunter yelled as piranhas started to bite at his arms and legs.
"Come on let's go pick him up we're heading in that direction anyway," Amy said to Gash who reluctantly followed the order from Anointed Amy, she rubbed some of the Balm of Gilead over Hunter's piranha-bitten body and after picking up the Cerebral Assman the gang made their way to Los Angeles for a showdown with Jericho and his tattoo-bound cohorts CM Punk and Dave Batista, or as Jericho now referred to them as, the Dragon Sleeper.
"What's this?" Joanie said pulling up Hunter's shirt seeing some ink on his back, she pulled it up further and everyone stared at what appeared to be a tattoo of a lion.
"Oh my God, it's the Lion of Judah!" Amy said recognizing it from all the animated children's bibles Rebecca bought for Cameron and Cheyenne and Shawn and Amy looked at Hunter with a big smile.
"What the Hell are you two smiling at now? What it is back there, I can't see," Hunter said trying to look around and see over his shoulder. Amy rubbed some of the Balm of Gilead over the tattoo and Hunter felt his jaw widening and his teeth getting sharper. Everyone gasped as Hunter turned into a lion right in front of them.
"I have a feeling this is going to be a showdown for the ages," Amy said to everyone but Cameron was way ahead of her because God had clued him in on this.
LC had drawn the tattoo of the Lion of Judah on her father's back as a joke weeks ago when the ARK Angels were drawing their own tattoos in Cameron's room, Hunter hadn't washed it off because he didn't know that it was there plus the pen LC had drawn it in wasn't water soluble. Hunter didn't even realize why he couldn't get the song 'Lion of Judah' that LC had played out of his head and he had even told Trish that he didn't think he had an important role in the activities of the angelic trio and the ARK Angels of DX. The Truth knew different and now the jokes were over, LC was somewhere in L.A scared and frightened and dying to be back with her real family. Jericho had taken his last bite out of Hunter's ass, now he had become the Heavenly embodiment of the Lion of Judah - the Christian representative for Jesus Christ. It turns out that Hunter did have an important role in the war against Chris Jericho and the demonic forces around him and it would be the most important role of all.