A/N: I love you people :)

Chapter Six: The Return

Sand continued to sip at his water while watching Nevalle get drunk in the Phoenix Tail Inn, waiting for the Nine member to say something. So far the only conversation between the two "friends" had been Nevalle pointing at him and saying, "You, bar, now."

"We have a huge problem," Nevalle admitted with another gulp.

"'We,' Nevalle?"

The knight glared at him. "In case you've forgotten, Sand, my problems are your problems."

"Yes, yes, I'm sure. And this problem is?"

Nevalle didn't respond for a few moments as he finished off the tankard. "Lord Nasher was... very upset to hear that Raelis was pregnant, especially with the child of an ex-Luskan assassin. He... may ... or may not... have told anyone who would listen that Raelis was pregnant with... Lathander's child."

"... Lathander her patron deity?"

"Yes, apparently Raelis has been having sex with Lathander on a regular basis. I've spent the last few days trying to keep Lathanderites from completing their holy pilgrimage to meet the Chosen of Lathander. I'm running out of excuses for her!"

Apparently I'm a greater deity now, Sand thought, bemused. It was only a matter of time, I suppose...

"She's had head colds, premature labor, temporary bouts of insanity, extraplanar possession, food poisoning, invisibility spell malfunctions, third-degree burns over her entire body... temporary gnomitization..."

"Temporary... what?"

"Turning into a gnome. Yes, Sand, I actually told pilgrims who had traveled all the way from Baldur's Gate that the Chosen of Lathander couldn't meet with them because she had been turned into a gnome." Even Nevalle looked ashamed at the depths to which he had sunk.

"You clearly are out of ideas," Sand admitted.

"Never mind the retribution that I'm certain a greater deity will visit upon Lord Nasher and myself for such a thing..."

"Well, I'm certain there's some way we can establish that no one sees her," Sand said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin, "Perhaps... ah, yes, perhaps quote she unquote can have a vision that prohibits the faithful from visiting her."

Nevalle stared at Sand with newfound respect. "That's brilliant," he managed.

"I know."

"I can't believe I didn't think of something so obvious!" Nevalle continued, now looking dejected, "I'm a failure as a knight!"

Sand patted the semi-drunk Nine member on the head. "If it makes you feel better, you were number three on Raelis' banging list. I was number one. Now she doesn't need the list anymore," Sand finished smugly.

And then he realized what he had said aloud, not in his head.

And then Nevalle actually registered what had been said.

Bishop had always been under the impression that Daeghun and Duncan were not that close. After all, Raelis had never even heard of her foster-uncle until it had become a life-or-death situation, and Daeghun didn't seem like a people person anyhow. The two, however, united in their mission, seemed to ignore that fact.

"There ain't no mountain hiiiigh enough," Duncan sang jovially.

"Ain't no valley looooow enough," Daeghun continued, his voice surprisingly decent (reminding Bishop that he was, after all, an elf).

"Ain't no river wiiiiide enough,"

"To keep me from getting to you!" the brothers finished, looking at Bishop.

He got the hint.

"Aw, cheer up, Bishop!" Duncan said, patting Bishop on the back heartily. "After all, this means you won't be going to the Wall of the Faithless!"

"Somehow that's not comforting at all," he had to admit.

"Nonsense! You have no idea how many souls I have. You can all have parties! Well, it'll be hard to really enjoy the parties around all the pain and torture and that sort of thing, but still! And you'll be with Ammon Jerro, so you'll know someone!"

"I think I'll choose the Wall."

"So are we agreed that I will kill him and you will deal with what comes afterwards?" Daeghun inquired.

"Yeah, I can't imagine any other way of going about it. If I kill him, well, then you won't have anything to do, and really, we both need to be involved in this. Besides, we don't want him leaving a mess, and you were always the neater of the two of us!"

"So what happens if I go back to Raelis?" Bishop asked.

The brothers Farlong looked at each other. Then they both burst into laughter.

Whenever Raelis needed counseling, there was only one of her subordinates she could count on to be thoughtful, objective, and sweet about giving her sage advice.

"So I'm not sure what to do," Raelis confessed as she sat down, "I mean, despite myself I think I'm still in love with Bishop, even though he left me and his child because he was too scared to stay. But at the same time, Casavir is so full of love and affection for me I find it almost painful that I don't return those feelings, at least to the same degree - he loves me like a man loves a woman, and I love him more like a brother than anything else. And then I'm really starting to think that I'm starting to fall in love with Sand, but I don't know if that could even go anywhere because I think he thinks we're just sleeping together. It's distressing! What do I do when Casavir finally gets up the courage to tell me how he feels? What do I do if Bishop comes back into the picture? What do I do if it turns out Sand feels the same way I do - hells, what do I do if he doesn't?" She sighed. "It's a day like this that makes me wish I drink. And that I hadn't slept with anyone."

"Big people is weird about sleeping," Deekin said sagely as he tidied up his section of the shop, "Deekin remembers when Deekin used to sleep with Boss, but then she starts sleeping with Goatman instead and Deekin gets kicked out of sleeping bag. Made Deekin sleep in other room in fact. What so special about Goatman anyhow? Well, Goatman warmer than Deekin maybe, but grumpier too."

Raelis looked at Deekin with a shocked expression before recognizing the kobold meant sleeping in the literal sense, and then she began laughing hysterically.

"Big people is weird about most things," Deekin admitted.

"What in the name of every god and every hell are you idiots doing?" Nevalle basically screamed, dragging an embarrassed-looking Sand behind him. "Because if it's not enough that you, the Knight Captain of Crossroad Keep, are pregnant with the child of an ex-Luskan assassin, now you're sleeping with an ex-Luskan mage? Really? REALLY?"

Deekin ducked and hid behind his counter.

"Good job at keeping that secret," Raelis admonished Sand.

The mage in question looked like he wanted to bury himself somewhere, alive, and then hopefully never get dug up. "I may or may not have let it go to my head," he murmured.

Raelis resisted the urge to make a horrible sex pun.

"You have a reputation to uphold!" Nevalle continued with less screaming and more seething rage, "The entire region is looking to you, and you reflect Neverwinter, and you are apparently sleeping with every Luskan you can find! Luskan, the very people who caused all the problems in the first place!"
Raelis couldn't help but grin. "If that were true maybe Torio wouldn't be so uptight."

Sand looked as if he was choking on something. Nevalle looked aghast. "This is hardly a joking matter! What is Lord Nasher going to do when he finds out? What are we going to do when he finds out?"

"Who says he has to find out?"

Nevalle looked as if that had never crossed his mind; or, really, like he didn't even recognize that as a viable option. "Wha... what?"

"Who says Nasher has to find out?" Raelis repeated.

Sand came to stand next to his "girlfriend." "Look at him!" he practically purred, "He looks like he's going to self-destruct!"

"Nasher... doesn't find out? I... don't tell Nasher something very important?"

"Nasher doesn't need to know everything," Raelis said soothingly, stepping forward to pat the confused-looking Nevalle on the head. "Especially things that don't concern him. Why don't you write him a report telling him about the surplus of money we have and how we're going to contact the lizardfolk soon about forming an alliance? That should make him very happy."

"And that's good," Nevalle agreed, "Nasher being happy is good."

"Go make Nasher happy!" Raelis said with a broad smile, pushing Nevalle out the door.

Sand resisted the urge to make a horrible sex pun.

"Yes! I can do that!"

"Just happy good news!" she called after him before closing the door to the shop. She sighed. "Why are all the people I associate with completely insane?" she asked, tears coming to her eyes.

The aspects of Raelis' pregnancy that Sand was used to dealing with revolved mostly around her hormones and the rapid changing thereof, so he knew well enough to give her a hug so she could cry about something anyone else would have been amused about. "There there," he said awkwardly, patting her on the head, "You're completely insane too, so you fit right in!"

She cried harder.

And that was probably the incorrect thing to say, Sand guessed. Just because Sand was used to dealing with the hormone changing doesn't mean he was good at dealing with it.

Outside Crossroad Keep's main gate, Bishop and Daeghun faced down the deurgar slaver with drawn bows. To their respective surprises, the whole family drew out assorted weaponry and a fight broke out.

Despite the fact that they were all slavers - it was easy to deduce that the family had been masquerading as slaves so that if a fight broke out they would have the element of surprise - they weren't all fighters, and it didn't take long for the two rangers to finish them off. Duncan contributed in that two of the children ran up and started stabbing him, which didn't even make him flinch.

When the battle ended, Daeghun calmly started gathering his bows. Duncan looked bored. And Bishop had to marvel at Daeghun's ability to go from battle to non-combat without flinching, as if it was all the same to him. Bishop had tried to get to that state but had gone in the other direction; finding the blood and killing to be exhilarating. At the same time, Daeghun's poise reminded Bishop of the first time he had realized that what he felt for Raelis wasn't just lust, or passing fascination, or even just sadistic toying.

"Lord Nasher demands your presence in Neverwinter," Nevalle harshly told the exhausted half‑elf less than an hour after she had returned from Ammon Jerro's haven. "You are to come alone, and you are to come now."

"I can't leave the Keep right now..." Raelis protested weakly.

"This is Nasher's Keep, not yours, and if you don't come with me now you will be replaced by tomorrow!" Nevalle turned to leave, assuming she would no longer protest.

Instead, Raelis turned to Bishop and snatched his bow. Before Bishop even realized what had occurred, she notched and fired an arrow at Nevalle. It hit the door frame just beyond him, trapping three strands of blonde hair.

She notched another arrow and pulled the string, aiming it at the back of Nevalle's head. The knight in question didn't move. "I just got back," she said tersely, looking coldly infuriated, "from a hellish place where one of my best friends died, Nevalle. You will turn around, and you will ask me nicely, at Lord Nasher's humble request, that I accompany you to Neverwinter. You will use the word please. You will thank me when I accept."

Nevalle slowly turned around, his eyes wide. "L-L-Lord Nasher, um, humbly requests, that you, ah, come with me to Neverwinter, please."

"Pretty please?"

"Pretty please with sugar on top and, er, some cherries on the side?"

She handed the bow back to Bishop, who was too impressed to yell at her for taking it in the first place. "Okay, let's get going then," she said sweetly.

When Nevalle gave a sigh of relief she cleared her throat loudly. "Thank you!" he said quickly.

"You're welcome." She smiled and patted him on the head.

Clearly, as time passed it was becoming more and more obvious that Daeghun really, actually raised Raelis, rather than just having been present. It put thoughts into Bishop's mind about how he would raise his own daughter.

That train of thought led him to the courtyard of Crossroad Keep.

Bishop steeled himself. He was going to climb up the side of the keep, slide into Raelis' room and explain, apologize, do things he had never done before. But then he noticed the large steel cage hanging in the middle of the courtyard. He, curious, took a better look.

"Ooo, peanut butter and birdseed! This is the best day ever!" the ranger gushed, climbing in.