The Space Between

Chapter Eight: Sunflowers, Stone and Scarecrows

Amy wasn't sure if Jon was aware of what the date was and she secretly hoped he would remain ignorant. He didn't need anymore emotional stimuli in his life right now. Having her there was bad enough and she secretly wondered if it would have been best if a psychiatrist, completely removed from the situation, should try to help him piece back his sanity and not his twin sister. Even though she had caught glimpses of how he used to be years ago, there were still many times in the last two weeks that she was faced with a morose, brooding man she didn't recognize.

She had told him she was going for a run, playing up the fact that the rain was the perfect excuse to pull her sweatshirt hood over her head to keep people from noticing her. He had been reluctant to let her go and she couldn't figure out if it was because he was afraid of being left alone or if he was concerned for her safety. It puzzled her for the entire elevator ride down to the lobby but once the cool, autumn air hit her in the face, all the stress and worry seemed to evaporate. It didn't take long for the familiar rhythm of her feet hitting the pavement to quite her wild thoughts. It felt wonderful to not have to think of anything.

Thirty minutes into the run, she passed a street vendor selling flowers. Jogging in place, she bought a large bouquet of sunflowers and kept moving towards her destination. She had toyed with the idea of asking Jon to come with her but quickly decided against it. The last thing they needed was for him to go into a full blown panic attack in public, even if it was in a cemetery and could explained away by grief. It took her forty-three minutes to run from the apartment to her parent's headstone at the Gotham Heights Cemetery. She was going to be dog tired by the time she made it back to the apartment.

Suddenly standing there in front of the headstone, with her parent's names forever emblazoned on the granite sapped all the energy she seemed to have. She and Jon would come every year on the yearly anniversary and lay sunflowers on the headstone. That was until the foster system moved them too far away to make the visit possible. Only one of their foster mothers, Sally, had driven them the three hours back to the graveyard when they were fifteen. Two days later, Sally overdosed on her sleeping medication and they were shuffled off once more to another unwilling foster couple.

"Hi, Mom and Dad," Amy said, laying the flowers in their usual place and sitting cross legged on the damp ground. "Jon couldn't come today but he would have if he could. It's a long story." She absently brushed leaves off of the marker and yanked a couple weeds that had grown up. Jon never cared for her habit to talking to the headstone. He said it "wasn't healthy," and her response was always a quick "shut up." She missed that banter between them. He had used sarcasm with her these last couple of weeks but it always came out more caustic than before.

"I'm sure you already know by now what's happened. In fact, you probably know better than I do. I know I say this every time but boy, do I mean it now. I really wish you were here. You always knew how to fix us when we needed it. I don't know how to fix Jon, Mom. I'm starting to feel like there is something broke inside of me now too. There's something really wrong and I can't-"

A twig snapped and Amy jumped to her feet. A well-dressed business man with dark eyes was standing just a few feet from her, staring at her with concern. She looked closer and realized he was a very familiar looking business man. Where had she seen him before?

"I'm sorry," he was saying, "I didn't mean to intrude, you just looked…"

"Just visiting my parents." She hoped she sounded crazy enough for him to leave her alone. She didn't want to run the risk of being identified but he was looking at her like he was trying to place her. So much for talking things out with her parents.

"Wait, you're Lynnlee Grayson's neighbor."

Amy nodded and moved to step away from the grave.

"No, please, really, don't go," he said as he started to back away. "I shouldn't have interrupted you."

No, you shouldn't have, Amy thought viciously but realized if she saw someone pouring their heart out to a gravestone, she would have asked them if they needed anything too. "That's fine. Um," she bit her lip and extended a hand, "Amy."

He smiled slightly. "That's right. Bruce."

"Wayne?" The name slipped out before she could even stop it.

"Yes, it is."

He looked a little shocked that she knew the name. "My bro- family used to live in Gotham . Your family's name was a household one in my family."

He nodded in understanding. "Is, uh, Crane," he pointed to the tombstone, "you're last name?"

Well, there was no reason to deny it now. "Yes, it is."

He grinned evilly. "You wouldn't happen to be related to that psycho that escaped Arkham, would you?"

A sudden urge to punch the man in the face came over Amy but she counted to ten, reigned herself in and realized if she broke his nose she would ruin his good looks. Wouldn't want to bring attention to herself by messing up the face of Gotham's playboy. Yeah, sure, that was why she wasn't going to punch him. "No, no relation."

He leaned towards her slightly and she caught a whiff of Pierre Cardin, the rain intensifying the scent of his cologne. It distracted her so much she almost missed what he was saying to her. "You're a terrible liar."

"So, go call the police," she turned to walk away when he grabbed her by the wrist. She swung around, ready to defend herself but when she saw the tense set to his jaw and intensity of his dark eyes, the fight went out of her completely.

"If you know my name, you know my parents are dead, too. I won't call the cops, not under these circumstances." He let go of her wrist. "Besides, Lynnlee already told me who was living across the hall from her two weeks ago. If I was going to call the cops, I would have done it by now."

"So why haven't you called the police?"

"Because Lynnlee has vouched for your brother. She says he hasn't acted or seemed to be a threat in any way at the moment." He shrugged. "Besides, I'm sure the Batman has an eye on things."

"Hm," was all Amy said in response, filing that odd piece of the conversation to the back of her mind. Bruce looked over her shoulder and took a step back.

"I'll let you get back to your visit," he motioned to the headstone. "Maybe I'll stop in and visit you when Alfred comes to see his niece."

Amy didn't say anything as he made his way back to the gleaming Lincoln town car that was waiting for him. She tried to push the encounter out of her mind but when she turned back to the headstone, there was someone else walking towards her, a bouquet of sunflowers in their hands. She couldn't believe her eyes even when the person stopped on the other side of grave.

"Jon?"

He placed his bouquet next to hers before shoving his hands in his pockets. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming here today?"

"I thought you forgot."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Forgot? How could I forget that twenty-four years ago, we spent this day huddled in a closet, listening to the police describe in detail the murder scene of our parents?"

Amy rubbed her forehead. "I'm sorry."

"Me too."

Both of them stood in silence and stared at their parent's names, the rain soaking the both of them. Jon made a soft noise and Amy looked up at him, an almost familiar smirk on his face. "What?"

"Did I interrupt your talk?"

"With Bruce Wayne?"

"Was that who that was? No, I meant with Mom and Dad."

Amy huffed indignantly.

"It's not healthy, you know, talking to people who aren't there."

"Jon," she tried to scowl but failed miserably. "Shut up."

As soon as his sister looked like she was going to pout, the old feeling of sibling connection came back to him full force. The smirk without sharpness easily came to his face.

"It's not healthy, you know, talking to people who aren't there." It felt so normal to say that and suddenly breathing became easier. Watching Amy's face struggle between a frown and a full fledged smile was priceless. She felt the reconnection too.

"Jon, shut up."

He had heard other people talk about "those three little words" that solidify or tear apart a relationship. Of course, they meant "I love you" but in his mind, those three little words were the three that just escaped his sister's lips. For some strange reason, they were nothing like the common place "I love you" but he knew that was exactly what they meant. And that drove Scarecrow to the darkest corner of his mind, completely out of sight and awareness. However, having that hissing voice no longer coloring the memories of the last few months, the gravity of his actions overtook him.

"Jon?"

Amy…she sounded like she was in a tunnel. Why was she in a tunnel? It was raining, maybe that's why, to get out of the rain. Wasn't there a song about getting out of the rain? Why was it suddenly getting so dark? He felt his knees connect to the wet ground and then his hands. Amy was somewhere, he could hear her but not understand her. The screams he had craved for those few months rang in his ears and he wondered why Amy couldn't hear them too.

You'll miss hearing those. Trust me.

No, no no no no. He tried speaking the words but didn't know if he was being successful. It wasn't healthy to talk to people who weren't there.

You think you can just shove me aside? Think again, Jonny boy.

The smell of wet dirt filled his nostrils and he suddenly remembered where he was. His parent's grave…he had his face down in the soft, green grass that covered his parent's caskets. He could feel Amy's arms wrapped around him, whether to help him back up on his feet or just protecting him from the rain, he didn't know. Protect him…that was all she ever did, poor girl.

You didn't need her when you had me. I protected you then.

"Scarecrow…"

Yes?

It wasn't healthy to talk to people who weren't there. "Go away." Amy was sobbing. He could feel her tears on his neck, burning hot in contrast to the cold rain. He hoped she understood he didn't mean her but rather that insidious voice in his head. It wasn't healthy…

When she lets you down, I'll be back.

She won't let me down, Jon thought. She came to Arkham to find me. She walked through hell to get to me. She won't let me down. And I'm not going to let her down.

People let each other down all the time, Jonny. You're no different and neither is she. And neither is the other one.

Jon's breath hitched. Other one? What other one?

I've never let you down, Jonny. I never will. So take your sabbatical. Play the big brother to Amy and knight in shining armor to the musician. Have fun. But don't be surprised when little sister doesn't need you and the damsel in distress doesn't want to be saved. You'll come back to me and we'll try again.

"No, we're done."

Keep telling yourself that, Jonny. Just keep telling yourself that.