Naraku's mind games
Of politics haters and room destruction
"Oh no..oh no...Oh no..." Kagome chanted as she lay in bed, experiencing the falling sensation that marked a usually very grumpy mood a very unfortunate event. She had been in her room, about to take a shower. She had barely been able to get her clothes on, (the same ones that she had just been wearing, she didn't have time to change to a new set) and she had fallen on the bed. Small miracles never ceased to amaze her. Just about what would have happened if they had gotten swapped when she was in the shower, she didn't want to think about.
She screwed her eyes shut as her stomach lurched and she fell into a pitch darkness.
(a/n: yes, all you perverts, I do know what's going on inside your warped heads. 'oh. Thats not fair, she just ruined all of our fun, it would have been much more enjoyable if Kagome got swapped while taking a shower...'
well, don't worry, I'm pretty warped myself, so I'll torture the characters later... wait for it.)
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Sesshomaru brushed his hair out of the way and impatiently snorted. These nobles were really testing his patience, he was barely keeping his temper and whip under control. He could lash out his whip, and in the next ten seconds, the room would be splattered with noble remains. A very pleasing thought.
He sighed slowly, exhaling his breath and counted to ten. His father had always told him to do that if he felt himself beginning to lose his sanity by politics, or go into his frequent dark and dangerous anger swings.
Must no kill...must kill not...no kill... he was in such a hard position to keep a grip on himself that he didn't even mind that he was mixing up words right, left and center.
His stomach lurched as he felt the sickening falling sensation uprise from the pits if the bottom of his stomach. His knuckles whitened as he clenched his fists out of hatred of the goddamn minion who was doing this.
He looked at the papers in front of him for notes, and a idea came to him. He gripped the pen and began writing furiously behind his desk. He had almost done writing, though when he was going to go to the next page, his world was plunged into darkness.
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He opened his eyes to see a strange room. "What the hell...?" his mind was running in circles, along with his senses, which were having a field day. There were queer scents, rather everything like the smell of Kagome's 'backpack' as she called it... and he hadn't felt this EXTREMLY curious in years. Mildly, yes, but now, he was going to kill himself if he didn't find something out soon.
He walked over to the window and looked down. Incredible. Were those houses? But they were...HUGE! Not the houses he could demolish with a fist. They reached up onto the sky, and they sky itself looked grayer and had a strange smell. There were random grunts and screeches of what seemed to be...running demons?.. on the black strip of the earth. They too smelled strange, but he couldn't exactly detect any aura around them...
This world...Kagome's village, was INCREADIBLE! Sikb's eyes widened as he realized why Kagome seemed so mysterious about where she lived. If this village was so bountiful, no wonder she was hiding the identity for it's safety. First thing he would do when he got back to his self was find the location of the village and establish a peace treaty to learn from these people. Or war...
In these high thoughts of politics, he was standing there by the window, astonished by everything he saw here.
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"Goddamn it..." Kagome cursed as she opened her eyes and saw that she was, once again, effectively, in HIS body. Not fair! Not even her vacation at home was spared. She rolled her eyes. Sesshomaru was probably having a hell of a time in HER time. She had given a hint about the well...and forgot to write the letter she had planned to have in front in case this happened. Damn. Oh well, at least Souta knew... he would tell...or so she hoped.
She turned her attention to the present, scratch that, HER present. He was, damn, she was now in some kind of meeting type thing. She peered curiously at her closest demon, who seemed to have a type of wings... but otherwise seemed European. He had blond hair, was a typical prince charming type, with a square jaw, and blue twinkling eyes. He peeked over nervously at Kisb who was now staring abashedly. She had a type of dreamy look in her eye, and her thoughts were going along the lines of, damn that guys handsome... why don't they have more of those type of people in the future? He seemed European too, oh awesome!
(think... the hero from poccahontas if my description isn't accurate enough)
It was no surprise then, that the demon's thoughts were running around in circles. Oh god... why the hell is Lord Sesshomaru staring at me like that? AHH... he might want to kill me!..no, wait...that's a... oh holy shit!
I thought he liked Sorai...or Sorai liked him... I don't like the look in his eye...
he cringed.
Kisb almost chocked when she heard the next thought. She wasn't even paying attention to the earlier ones.
Lord Sesshomaru is straight...right? Someone? OH GODDAMN IT!
STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!
Kisb bit her lip and tongue and turned away. But from inside she was hysterical.
She didn't really love herself all to much for losing control like that, but he WAS quite dreamy...
The demon was getting a whole different idea, oh god, poor Sesshomaru...
or not. He was probably having a ball terrorizing Tokyo if Souta hadn't got to him yet. Oh well. He was in good hands.
Or so she hoped.
Damn it with this anxiety! She forgotten to write the note, so what! There was still the hint that she gave AND Souta! She just hoped he would be smart enough to use his head and get back here... or she would send Inuyasha through as soon as possible.
As soon as the demon next to her stopped sending her nervous glances and shuddering and shivering. Poor thing.
Demons really shouldn't shudder...she had half a mind to send him a note saying that, but then her conscious, which felt pity towards Sesshomaru's pride for some unusual reason, stopped her.
She looked around again, paying more attention to her surroundings. She was in a large room, in a part of the castle she didn't recognize. This meant it had to be the political halls or auditorium... full of all kinds of demons she hadn't ever seen before, not even at dinner. There were bear demons, wolves, eagles, deer, sheep, cats, leopards, lizards, beavers, swans, and many others she couldn't figure out.
A particularity stern looking lizard caught her gaze. She quickly hid behind her disk, completely forgetting that she was ruler of all them here. Only when his thoughts came in, did she realize and straighten up.
Why is Lord Sesshomaru... what? Cowering? Him?
She flicked her eyes down to her desk to appear as if doing something important. Writing caught her eye. God Sesshomaru had awesome calligraphy... it was so...beautiful yet powerful. It was made up with powerful strokes in perfect coordination, and it seemed to satisfy the scroll which it decorated.
She was so awed by the writing she didn't even notice what was actually written.
Well, I think I would probably have beautiful calligraphy if I had centuries to practice and the worlds best teachers too...wait... why is my name written?
She read on. It went something like:-
Kagome, miko. Yes I am talking to you. Or writing anyways. Now instead of being stupid and moronic like you usually are, do NOT screw up this meeting. All these nobles are under me, you do not have address them by name. Today they will just say things concerning why they want my castle demolished or ect. You MUST listen. Do not fall asleep, do not laugh, run around in circles, call anyone a bastard, at least not here in this room, do not kill anyone, even though I wanted to, do not go around too much with your friends, do not go running around in deserted corridors with Inuyasha... you get my meaning.
Kagome's blood boiled. How could that stupid little brat think that she would... ARGH! Just you wait Sesshomaru... or don't. I already got back at you, even if I ditn do it on purpose with that poor poor demon who now thinks you're...like uh...Jakotsu...heh...
The letter continued.
Write down every point you deem important, Ok, YOU write it all. I'll sort it when I'm back. If the swap isn't over by tomorrow or your village is too far to come back in one day, remember, sort out a contradictory argument for almost every argument in my favor, that means, DO NOT DEMOLISH MY CASTLE. Ask Sorai for help, but practice speaking so you can act sufficiently like me tomorrow. If you screw up... well you won't in favor of your own life.
Start writing, and talk the least you can in this room today. Now, miko! And if you-
It ended there.
Kisb groaned. That Naraku son of a... had even gotten her into politics. Feudal politics, no less. Full of demons and whatnot. Damn that cursed bastard and his stupid minion...who had to managed to get to him even if she was in the future. Damn it, the minion probably just had to chant something and they got changed if they halfway around the world. Dammit it all!
She, for the first time while in this room, noticed a snake demon up front. She was droning on about some unimaginable horror about politics to which Kisb couldn't pay attention to save her life. Instead, she simply wrote down everything that she heard and/or thought or whatever she thought she heard without paying a slightest whit of attention.
As a result there were mentions of chocolate, some of the scared thoughts of her demon neighbor, something about the castle, her wanting to see Shippo again, a little bit about politics, mentions of how much she hated Naraku and Jaken, and finally, her wondering what there would be for dinner tonight. Skimming it over when the meeting was almost finished, she thought, uh-oh...was I writing ALL that? Poor Sesshomaru will flip... if he reads this. Oh well. I dont wanna write this all over again. Screw politics!
Getting up, she grabbed her papers and trying to act normal, (she forgot she was Sesshomaru for a moment), she let a large smile flit across her face, scratch that, SESSHOMARU'S face, and she walked out on that goddamn room.
She left the room with the European swan demon STILL shivering, and everyone scared as hell of Kisb's smile.
(a/n: a thought just struck me...Kagome always takes like girl steps right? The ones with dear little steps and waggling hips... OH GOD...imagine THAT on Sesshomaru as she walked out of the political hall...ROTFLMAO rolling on the flor laughing my off)
"HEY!" Kisb slid by the door to the guests common room. Inuyasha looked up. "Whaddya want?" he asked, a bit annoyed at being disturbed. At a quick brainwave, it was easy to realize why.
"Hey, Inuyasha, why are you hiding the chocolate behind your back that I know your eating?" she asked.
He gaped at her then laughed. "So...even Naraku doesn't want you going off that school of your for too long!"
She pouted. "And I hate it."
Inuyasha took a look at her and laughed again. "Don't do that. That...very...disturbing...Sesshomaru pouting and smiling and laughing. God even I've come to get used to Sesshomaru as a emotionless bastard."
Kisb laughed and then covered her mouth and cursed. "Damn I wasn't supposed to laugh!"
"Oh screw off! Big bro's not here, and your in his body in his castle! Let's gets some demolishing done!" he cheered.
Kisb sighed. "Look, I would love to, but I can't. Sesshomaru doesn't need another grievance..." especially he finds out about the swan demon...
Inuyasha responded with his traditional childish pouting and 'hmpgh'ing.
Kisb kneeled by him and patted his back. "Oh cheer up! Where is everyone else by the way?"
He peeked over his shoulder. " DONT DO THAT!" he yelled.
"WHAT?" she yelled back, momentarily forgetting that Sesshomaru didn't always yell like that all the time... except for when you spray 'axe' in his face...oh that brought back memories...
"SNEAKING UP ON ME LIKE THAT! GODDAMN IT SESSHOMARU'S LOOKS FRIKIN' DISTURBING ENOUGH WITHOUT HIM PATTING MY SHOULDER!" he hollered back at her.
She closed her eyes and willed with all her might that noone notice that outburst.
Too late. Sorai came running at the door, skidding to a halt a few feet from Kisb and Inuyasha.
"What's wrong?" she addressed Inuyasha, who, now having realized that it would be totally demented for Sesshomaru to come pat his shoulder and even more so for him to yell it out loud, just grumbled.
"Uh..good. Sorai, how nice to see you again." Sorai raised her eyebrow.
"Cut through the crap." she said, one hand on her hip.
"Uh...yeah..." Kisb tugged through her kimono's neck. " Is that anyway to be talking to your lord?" Sorai gave a look, THE LOOK. "Just kidding. The point being, help me!"
She stuffed the papers in Sorai's grasp and flopped down on the bed, having being relieved of her worries for the present.
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"So you're saying that this is a whole other time?"
Souta nodded.
"And you travel through the well?"
Souta nodded. The words came back to him, 'if you need it, through the well.'
"And right now I'm in modern day to-ke-yo?"
Souta nodded again.
"AND you expect me to believe THAT?"
Souta nodded as usual but then realized what Sikb had said and said, "Look, if you don't believe me, you don't have to. Don't deal with it. Just jump through the well and you're back in the feudal ages."
Sikb simmered. Why was this kid acting so...knowitall? It was grating on his nerves, but more important was the worry of what Kagome had gotten herself into by now. She was probably demolishing his castle as he breathed.
He looked down. Kagome seemed to be in even skimpier clothes then usual, with
strange jewelry and makeup on. Was she going somewhere?
(her stuff from the festival)
Souta paced around the room. "You can stay for dinner if you want before you go..." he offered.
Sesshomaru was in a dilemma. Either go home first, or stay and explore this world first.
"Alright. This Sesshomaru shall stay for a meal in your humble abode."
Souta squinted his eyes. " You don't have to be so formal, ya know?"
But I was meaning for HIM to be polite and formal, not to tell me to knock it off. Stupid people in in the stupid miko's stupid time don't get any goddamn stupid thing... he grumbled mentally as Souta left him with instructions to come down after half an hour. That gave him more time to explore this room. Good.
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Sorai looked skeptically at the papers. "Kagome, you really don't know what you were writing, do you?"
Kisb shook her head, disrupting the long silvery hair flowing out.
"It makes no sense at all!" Sorai complained, wincing at bit.
"Listen to this." she continued.
"The castle is in dire need to renovation and had gotten quit old under its age. It lacks more advanced facilities and is not as great as a ruler of the lands as large as the western ones is expected to have. Therefore, it is the general opinion that I wonder where Shippo is? He really likes Rin and bothers Jaken doesn't he? The castle, once demolished, will save the garden making time in any other castle, why is Lord sSsshomaru looking around like that? I hope he- wait, I'm just going mad...mad with hunger. I LOVE COOKIES! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ALMOST AS MUCH AS BUNNIES BUT THEN AFTER THE GODDAMNED MINION I HAVE GOTTEN OVER MY LOVE OF BUNNIES EXCEPT THEIR EARS ARE REALLY CUTE LIKE INUYASHA'S!I wonder when dinner is?" Sorai gave a disapproving stare at Kisb. There's no punctuation either!
"Uh...can't you postpone this until his royal popsicle comes back? I HATE politics!" she whined.
"Nop. He's been putting this off long enough, and the nobles at the end of their line." Sorai replied.
"Goddamn Sesshomaru left me with this crap to deal. Just wait until I get my hands on him..." she grumbled. "And what's up with you? The mood?"
Sorai sighed. " All my yellow clothes are dirty." I can't believe that stupid maid forgot to take my clothes ALTOGETHER! God she was lucky she escaped with her life, making me wear red and black!
Kisb looked at Sorai's clothes. Ah, she hadn't noticed, but Sorai was wearing a red colored kimono with black borders.
Kisb chuckled. " I have much more of a better reason of being annoyed then you. I have to go up in front of all those goddamn people in that goddamn room and make a goddamn speech about something I don't give a damn about in this goddamn body!"
Inuyasha spoke up. "Saying the same swear word too many times reduces it's effect."
"Point taken, oh swear master!" Kisb drawled sarcastically.
He 'keh'ed.
"If you don't want to deal with this, why don't you just get Lord Sesshomaru and ask him to write this all out for you just to read?" she asked.
Kisb's world brightened. " THANKYOU! The first useful idea someone's had all day! I love you!" and after hugging Sorai, and chuckling mentally at her thoughts, ( she was still in Sesshomaru's body and hugging Sorai), Kisb rushed out if the castle towards the bone eaters well, with Inuyasha running beside her.
On Sesshomaru's cloud, flying at breakneck speeds, they got to the bone eaters in less then five hours where as before it had taken roundabout four days waking there with everyone.
"Just you wait Sesshomaru you stupid bastard, leaving me with that political piece of shit!" Kisb cursed as she tried jumping through the well. Work...work...work..yes! She cheered when it glowed a shining purple and they were transported into the future.
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"Ah! MOM...I'M HOME!" Kisb yelled as she burst through the well.
Sakura Higurashi leaned over the door frame and peered closely at the two newcomers. "Ah! Hello Inuyasha!" she greeted. Mom? None of Kagome's friends call me mom...
"Is this your friend?" she asked.
Kisb suddenly remembered that her mom would too freaked for words at the whole swap mind reading thing, and lowered her head a bit.
Sakura, seeing Kisb's embarrassment, laughed and said, "It alright. Everyone had little brainwaves now and then. I see all of Kagome's friends as my children. See, Inuyasha's like my son too!" she patted Inuyasha's head, brushing his ears while she was at it. Inuyasha reddened, turned his head and 'feh'ed.
Kisb smiled. Somehow, she had been feeling lonely when her mom didn't recognize her, but now felt immensely relieved.
She leaned over and hugged Sakura, and then went over to Souta. "Hey Souta!" she greeted. Souta replied, "Welcome back, sis, again!"
"Yeah!" she laughed then ran off to hug her grandfather with a loud squeal of "GRAMPS!"
Kisb was sitting across the room, busy being fascinated with television, when Kisb made it back. He turned around and groaned as he witnessed Kagome running around hugging everyone in sight, IN HIS BODY no less. Damn her.
But what really annoyed and scared him were the thoughts he was reading from her family.
Sakura Higurashi was a bit more then smitten at his beauty. Not unusual, he thought vainly, but still.
OH MY GOD! Is that even a boy? HE'S GORGEOUS! He even has a tail! A tail! And white hair like Inuyasha, that is so cute! And he even calls me his mom...that's really cute! He barely looks in his twentys... I want to touch his tail...
He shuddered and concentrated on pinpointing the location of the the other thoughts.
Souta was thinking, sis sure has a lot of boyfriends... this guy is especially creepy, especially how he doesn't even look like a guy! I bet if went out on one hour he'd have a entire hoard of screaming fangirls...i would hate that. Poor guy.
And the old man who Kagome called Gramps, AHHAH! Another demon to excorsize! I didn't even get through with Inuyasha yet! This isn't funny, Kagome keeps bring demons in this shrine...gr...AND HE'S HUGGING ME! Is this kind of curse? Ahhh! Run!
Sikb laughed at the ludicrous thoughts of the old man. As if someone could 'purify' him. But Inuyasha...gotta try that...
Kisb was so overcome with the prospect of hugging everything and everyone, she, after hugging Buyo, ran over to Sikb and enveloped him in a big hug.
"I MISSED YOU! I LOVE YOU!" she yelled, still a bit um...unstable.
"Excuse me?" he said.
"Didn't you hear me the first time?" she responded still hugging him to her now very much flat chest.
"I just thought you were delusional about me being Inuyasha or something...Uh...gerroff me!" he mumbled through his own hair.
"Yeah..." she smiled brightly and ran off to her room while Sikb groaned again. He shook his fist at the ceiling and moaned, "What did I ever do to deserve my reputation ruined like this! The almighty deadly Sesshomaru had been turned into a smiling hugging freak. Oh the humanity! Or demonantiy...whatever." he ended on a low note as Inuyasha withered with uncontrollable laughter at his speech.
"Nice clothes bro..." Inuyasha said. Sikb raised his eyebrow and looked down.
He gasped through his laughter. "Just wait till her mom gets a hold of your dog part!"
Sikb raised his eyebrow. "Dog part?"
Inuyasha stood up and motioned to his ears. "You know... like I have dog ears, you have a tail. They're out dog parts."
Sikb was suddenly very afraid of the cheerful mother.
"And who exactly came up with such a ridiculous term?" he asked causally.
"Kag-" he began saying a certain miko's name, but was cut off by a sharp scream.
"SESS-HOM-ARUUUU!!"
"What did you do now?" Inuyasha asked with an air of long annoyance, enjoying the scene.
" I didn't do anything. It's your stupid woman that has a problem with everything I do-"
"She's not mine!" he protested.
"Oh, yeah. Like I'll believe that after I found you two that day." he rolled his eyes and smirked at Inuyasha, rapidly reddening and stuttering.
Ah...yeah...damn he's not supposed to know about that!
"AH SESSHOMARU! YOU IDIOT BAKA! YOU...LOOK WHAT YOU DID!"
Kisb was storming down the stairs.
Sakura and her father were out back, maintaining the shelves in the storeroom, or else they would have thought it very strange that one of Kagome's friends was yelling at her about something she did. Confusing.
Kisb dragged sikb up the stairs by the elbow, Souta and Inuyasha just coming for laughs.
"LOOK!" she raged as she turned Sikb's head towards the room.
Or what used to be a room anyways. It was in shambles, her clothes spread out throughout the floor, on the bed, in the bathroom, on top of the closet, her drawers overturned, her closets thrown inside out, her old stuffed animals all over the place, the bed sheet on the floor, and her precious music CD's glinting on top of everything.
She turned to face Sikb, who now had a smirk on his face.
"Ah...I was investigating."
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How was that? I am very sorry it is not my usual rofl humor, but I'm trying and this writers block isn't helping. I need ideas! Review and tell me which part you liked best please!