AN: Special thanks to Mbavrocks12, OldGirl-NoraArlani and Guest for their kind reviews. For Guest who asked, I tend to add a chapter every two days. I try and have the whole story 99% written before I begin to post. And since I hate it when other people do it, I will never abandon a story and leave my readers hanging.
Sam stood at the window watching the sun go down, casting a warm orange glow around the disheveled classroom. He had made his decision this morning when he had packed up their gear. The motel room was paid up for another week, but if Dean didn't re-appear right away, Sam was going to enter the portal and find his brother, so he'd stowed all their stuff. Anything he didn't need or couldn't carry in one bag had been locked into the trunk of the Impala. He'd also left a note for Jody in the car. I wouldn't have been right for both him and Dean to disappear, maybe forever, without saying a final goodbye. Jody was a good friend who kept in touch regularly and actually cared about Sam and Dean for more than their hunting skills. In fact other than Cas, she was one of the few people that Sam considered family. The angel would make sure Jody got it.
Thinking about Cas, Sam pulled his phone out of his pocket. As the last rays of the setting sun disappeared and the room became swathed in shadows, he realized he couldn't put it off any longer. He'd spent much of the afternoon pacing, trying to think of what to say to the friend who was like another brother to him, but now time was running short. Sam didn't want to jump through that portal in search of Dean without talking to the angel. He pushed number 2 on his speed dial and waited for Cas to pick up.
"Hello Sam," Cas's gravelly voice rumbled across the line.
"Hey Cas." Now that Cas had answered, all of Sam's carefully prepared words flew out of his head. "Um, how are you feeling?," Sam stalled squeezing the bridge of his nose to try and control his emotions.
"I am still healing, but I'm feeling much better than I was," Cas paused and his tone changed to one of concern. "What's wrong Sam? I've been sensing your distress for a while now. Where is Dean?" Funny, how the angel could so quickly cut to the heart of the matter. Sam had forgotten that even when he didn't pray to Cas directly, the angel could still sense what he had once described as longing.
"Well, that's the thing Cas, Dean's gone." Sam tried to suppress the waver that crept into his voice. He took a deep breath to calm himself before continuing. "He got taken through a portal to another world, and.." Cas cut him off.
"What? When? Where are you?," the angel demanded.
"It doesn't matter," Sam said, ignoring Cas's questions. "Look, most likely he will be back tonight, and we'll be home soon. But if he isn't…" Sam took another steadying breath. "Then I'm going to go through the portal and find him. So, uh, if you don't hear from me by tomorrow, I'll need you to come pick up the car. I'll text you the location."
"What are you talking about Sam? Why would I need to….." Sam could almost hear Cas thinking as his friend put two and two together. "Wait - you don't think you'll be returning if you go in search of Dean, do you Sam?" The tall hunter dragged a hand across the back of his neck. He didn't know how to answer that. He had no idea what was going on in the other world that Dean had been dragged into. If Dean didn't return, he was afraid to think about what that could mean. But there was no way he could continue to sit on his ass and hope and pray that his brother came back. He had to do something.
"I don't know Cas. I hope so, but I just know that I've got to find Dean," Sam said. He wasn't going to rest until he found his brother. He'd made that mistake before, assuming that Dean was gone and at peace, when really he was fighting for his life in Purgatory. Not looking for his brother was one of the biggest regrets in his life and he wasn't about to make that mistake again. "Look Cas," Sam struggled to find the words to tell the angel how much he meant to him. "I just want to thank you for everything you've done for me, man. You've been like a …"
"Stop Sam," ordered Cas, sounding a bit like Dean as he cut Sam off again. "Tell me where you are, let me help you. We can find Dean together." Sam shook his head, even though Cas couldn't see the action over the phone.
"I can't. Someone has to stay and try to stop Amara. There isn't anyone else who can do that." Sam felt so torn. If he went in search of Dean, he would be leaving Cas to clean up the mess that Sam had made. A mess that could end the world. But if he didn't go...well that would be the end of his world. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right to dump this on the angel, but in a choice between Dean and the world...well for Sam there was no choice.
"Sam, don't do this. We can figure out another solution." The angel paused and Sam could visualize how he threw out his arm in exasperation and how his blue eyes would be stormy with emotions Cas still wasn't comfortable in expressing. "What am I going to do without you both." Sam was a little surprised at how forlorn Cas sounded. He closed his eyes, his heart aching for Cas.
"Just...just remember everything we taught you, and do your best. Our friend Jody will help you. "I'm sorry…" Sam couldn't think of anything else to say. The whole situation sucked. He prayed that Dean came through that portal and he wouldn't have to leave his friends behind to carry on alone. "Bye Cas," he said and ended the call before he lost his nerve and begged Cas to come help him.
He punched in the information Cas would need to get the car, but held off on sending the text. Sam knew that without his full angel mojo, Cas would have to drive and it would take him at least 9 hours to get here. He didn't want to have his friend start the journey if Dean came back. Sam went back to pacing around the room. It was fully dark now and the gloomy shadows perfectly reflected his mood. Sam absently scratched at the bandages on his face. His head ached, his side ached and all the forced inactivity was driving him crazy. A constant litany of "please come back, please come back, please come back" ran through Sam's head.
A couple of hours later, a low hum snapped Sam back to attention. Quickly he pulled out his phone and sent the text to Cas. It felt horribly inadequate and he hated how he'd left things with the angel, but he was determined to find Dean or die trying. Sam shouldered the bag of gear and supplies he'd packed and readied himself in front of where the portal was beginning to form.
The blue oval hummed and buzzed as it sprung into existence. First as a small circle of light, then with a loud pop, it grew into a larger oval, similar to the size the portal had been when Dean's message had come through. Then the oval grew and elongated into the full size door of blue light that they had originally seen 10 days ago. Sam held his breath and counted. He would give Dean 30 seconds to appear before jumping into the light himself.
As he counted down, Sam gripped the bag tighter and got ready to move. Suddenly Dean appeared. Sam only had a split second to recognize his brother before they were both blown off their feet. A violent explosion of heated air blasted through the portal. Sam pushed off the floor enough to watch as the portal seemed to heave outward then disappeared with a sudden pop. The resulting silence felt flat on his ears as he struggled to his feet.
"Dean," he called tentatively. An afterimage of the portal played tricks on his eyes in the dark room. Had he imagined that he'd seen his brother come through?
"Don't move!," came a gruff command from behind him. Relief flooded him as he recognized Dean's voice. Very slowly he turned around. Dean was in a combat ready stance, pistol firmly in his hands, pointed at Sam. The younger man carefully raised his hands to show that they were empty, but took a step towards Dean
"Dean, it's me, Sam." He couldn't really see Dean's face in the dark room, but Sam moved forward again, making a point to step into the weak light that shone through the window. As his own face was illuminated, Sam could see Dean lower the gun a little bit.
"Sammy?," Dean asked. His brother's body language was still alert, but Dean's voice was filled with cautious hope.
"Yeah man, it's me." Sam simply stood and smiled at Dean. He knew that he probably looked like a grinning fool, but he was so happy to see his brother, that he didn't care. Dean dropped the bag he was carrying, then he lowered the gun, and tucked it into a pocket, his eyes never leaving Sam's face. With a few short steps he was across the room to Sam. Dean slung his arm around Sam's neck and pulled him into a hug.
Surprised at Dean's action, Sam just hugged back as hard as he dared. It wasn't often that the Winchester code allowed such open affection. He half expected Dean to shove him away after a few seconds and make a wisecrack, but his older brother just gripped him tight. Sam could feel Dean tremble slightly in his arms.
"Are you Ok," he said, his voice muffled in Dean's shoulder. Dean just shuddered and Sam felt his brother slump a little harder against him. He slid his hand down Dean's back to support his weight when he felt warm, sticky, wetness. Gripping Dean's biceps, he gently leaned back, trying to see the older man's face. In the moonlight, Dean seemed pale and despite the warm smile on his face, a little out of it. Dean's eyes were a bit glassy.
"I think you're bleeding, Dean," Sam said wanting to get his brother to focus on him. Confusion and pain clouded Dean's expression and he took a step back.
"No, I'm not," Dean said, absently patting himself with his hands. "I'm just a little dizzy from the jump." Then, without warning, Dean crumpled, barely catching himself on a nearby overturned desk. With a low grunt, he struggled to get back to his feel. Sam sprung to his brother's side to help him. Hearing a dripping noise, Sam glanced down and could see a small pool of blood forming at Dean's feet. Sam's heart began to race. If there was enough blood to puddle, then Dean was obviously injured pretty badly.
Sam dug his flashlight out of the pocket of his coat and aimed it at Dean's back. The older hunter's jacket was shredded and Sam could see a variety of pieces of wood and other shrapnel sticking out. Blood was running pretty freely, soaking Dean's pants, but Sam didn't want to pull loose the fabric of Dean's jacket or shirts to explore the problem further. He needed to get Dean out of here and get him patched up. He'd just gotten Dean back, he wasn't about to lose his brother to blood loss now. Pulling his own jacket off, he quickly peeled off his flannel and wrapped it around the injured area. Dean gasped in pain, even though Sam was careful not to press, wary of pushing the debris further into Dean's body.
Leaving Dean clinging to the table, Sam quickly picked up both their bags and slung them over one shoulder. With his other he methodically inched his way under Dean's arm so that he could help guide his brother to the car. Stumbling like two old men, Sam guided them out of the school. He'd actually parked the car a couple of blocks away where it would cause less suspicion until Cas picked it up. "Dean, I'm gonna get the car, just wait here," he said as he directed the older man to a low wall. His brother reached out and grabbed Sam's jacket.
"No," Dean grunted. "I can make it." He tightened his grip on Sam's coat and Sam could feel Dean try and take on more of his own weight. But Sam could see by the distant street light, that the blood had begun to soak through the flannel he'd tied around Dean's body. Sam manhandled Dean to the wall and lowered him gingerly, not wanting to cause him more pain. He crouched down in front of his brother to see his face.
"It's too far Dean, and you're bleeding. I'll be right back," he said. Sam didn't want to leave him, but there was no way Dean could walk that far in his condition. "Just stay here." Sam went to turn away, but Dean snaked a hand out and took his wrist. His fingers were cold against Sam's skin. Sam looked down into the pale face that he had thought he'd lost forever. He'd expected a glassy look as his brother's body fought to cope with the injuries and blood loss, but he didn't expect the deep sadness he saw in Dean's eyes. Sam tenderly patted the hand on his wrist with his own larger one before gently pulling his arm from Dean's grip. Dropping the bags, he shrugged out of his jacket and draped it across Dean's bowed shoulders.
"Five minutes, I swear, I'll be right back," he said fervently. Reluctantly he turned and began to run the few blocks. He made record time, slid into the driver's seat and, drove the Impala back towards the school as if it was stolen. As he pulled into the parking lot, he could see Dean hunched over, but still mostly upright. He brought the car as close as was safe. Jumping out, he quickly tossed their bags into the passenger seat and then with a firm grip, maneuvered his brother into the back seat where he could lay on his front. Peeling out, Sam raced back to the motel, one eye on the road, and other on his brother. Dean was far too still, but Sam could hear his heavy breathing.