Naraku's mind games

"OFF GAURD!" Usagi screamed as he took a giant flying leap and kicked Naraku across the shoulder. "Damn you!" Naraku cursed, but this time he had something else he could do. He reached up with his uninjured hand and yanked Usagi's ankle down, hard. He came crashing this being a total surprise to him. Too bad for Naraku though, who had yanked Usagi right on top of him in desperation, making him crumple and crash into the ground with the hyper rabbit on top of his fallen form.

"Gerroff me!" Naraku said in a muffled voice. Then some coughing, gagging, spitting. Then, "Get your hair out of my mouth, rabbit!" Usagi panicked. "Ahh! You tried eating my hair! Get off me stupid monster! Now it's all covered with spit!" and he ran off to the nearest water source to wash his hair.

"Stupid Naraku had to go and try to eat my hair.." he grumbled as he sat by the pond with his long hair flowing into it.

Kohaku snuck up from behind. "Hey!" he called. Usagi didn't turn. Kohaku approached him. "hey! What's going on?"

"Stupid naraku tried eating my hair!" he grumbled again, and Kohaku laughed. "Well, it seems I need to cheer you up!" and with a fluid movement he calmly pushed Usagi off the rock ledge and into the cold water.

"Ahh!" he screamed. Then he regained his balance and surfaced. "Damn you Kohaku! I might as well take a bath now that I'm all wet already..." Kohaku smiled.

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"Hey Kouga!" Kagome called from behind him, which was a total opposite of usually happened.

He turned around. "Yes, Kagome my love?"

She blushed, mentally kicked herself for blushing then asked, "Uhhh...d-do you wear anything under your skirt?" That sounded too out of the blue...
Now it was Kouga's turn to blush. Ah! So she does like me! Muawahah! "You can check if you want." he grinned.

Kagome lost the smile. Stupid Miroku had to rub off on everybody. OH NO! What if he rubbed off on her too?! But all the same, she was abnormally curious how Kouga managed to crouch and everything and she never heard anyone thinking how they could see Kouga's panties...er...boxers...whatever.

"No really! There IS my room, or yours...or the deserted gardens..." he called out to stop her as she huffed off.

"Ohh come on! You know you want to!" he added huskliy sliding up to her. Now this was just annoying.

"WANT!" he plummeted.

Yes! I knew she liked me! "I'm guessing your so exited you cant even make proper sentences...but you got the meaning across!" he grinned. (he was lying face upright). Oh I am handsome...I make her dizzy don't I? Be mine! Kagome forever!

"WANT!" she screamed again. Ahh! That was your subjugation word, not an acceptance... not wanting you...not wanting to go anywhere with your perverted soul..

"It's alright!" Worship my hotness! Don't resist...man I'm good. He grabbed her arm and slid his claws along it up to her neck, where she slapped it off, then slapped him, and after subduing him, went off to kill Miroku.

(a/n: I was recently wondering what would happen if Kagome asked him this...this is the result! Hehe...don't take this too seriously!)

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" MI-RRR-OOOOKKKUUUUUUUU!" Kagome screamed bloody murder.

"Yes my lady?" a purple blur hand her hand before she even saw him. I guess when you've practiced holding girl's hands that much you get fast...

"You do realize how I was screaming for you?" Miroku smiled a perverted smile. Kagome replayed her words and mentally kicked herself.

"My point being-" she cut off his comment. "You know I'm likely to kill you when I call you in that tone, and yet you still come?"

Miroku smiled. "Ahh, yes! But when a pretty lady calls me it's hard not to!"

Kagome smashed her fist into his shoulder. "You stupid creep! Your rubbing off on everyone! EVERYONE I TELL YOU!" she roared.

Miroku rubbed his shoulder then laughed a throaty laugh. "B of course! I will rub off on everyone and RULE THE WORLD WITH PERVERTEDNESS!"

"I KNEW it!" Kagome accused.

"It was my plan from the start..." he laughed diabolically, his head thrown back.

Kagome winced. "So, you creep! Stop it! Stop trying to dominate the world!"

"NEVER! I WILL RULE THE WORLD! MUWHAHAH!!" Miroku laughed even more. Now Kagome started to notice a strange glint in his eye. Was it the lust of power?

Sango stomped over. "You stupid lech, you know you had a fever, then ate five of those painkillers of Kagome's and NOW YOUR UP AND RUNNING ABOUT? I don't think so!" and she dragged him by the ear back to his bed.

Kagome sighed. So it was more like a overdosed-on-medicine-delusional glint.

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Naraku sighed, sitting in the garden. He raked his hand across the grass, uprooting some and throwing it on a rapidly forming pile on his right. Bored bored bored he chanted.

Even the minion would take a day or two to find Sesshomaru and the miko...so his current form of entertainment was out of order. And his mother still didn't let his out of the house (he had snuck out to get Usagi) even though the bandages on his wrist were off now.

This was going to be a looooooonnnnnnggggg day.

(a/n: not when I'm here!)

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"Hey Usagi...do you want to use this somehow?" Kohaku held up a jar of dark purple glittery goo which he found in one of Naraku's drawers in one of his recent raids.

(see chapter-lady fate's beloved, Naraku is cleaning his room)

Usagi grinned. He would soooo love this...

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"Master Naraku!" Naraku glanced up to see Katana waving at him from the balcony.

"Yes?" he asked, still uprooting grass.

"Uh...could you please come up for a moment?" she flattered her eyelashes so prominently it could be noticed even at the distance Naraku was.

Naraku got up. I wonder what she wants... he mused. Maybe she'd planning to murder me...she'll murder me if I don't go anyways...so..

Katana smiled at ran inside her room. As Naraku trudged up the stairs, Usagi poked his head inside the door, grinned and nodded at her. She nodded back, and gave him a thumbs up sign. Usagi smiled again, and looking over his shoulder, quickly scurried away.

He knocked on the door. "It's Naraku, you called, Katana?"

She opened the door and smiled. "Come in, please be seated!" she smiled shyly.

He raised his eyebrow. Katana? Shy? You've got to be kidding me. She's a blade. Her name merely proves so. He scoffed mentally.

She turned around, her eyes still downcast and slipped her hair out of the high pony it was usually in. Naraku clutched his chair. Why again did she call me here?

"Uh..Naraku..Master Naraku..." she stuttered, sitting by a rapidly getting-nervous-Naraku.

"I wanted to tell you..." she traced his hand over his. He tensed. (more like jump ten feet in the air) Is she playing with me before she murders me? Like how a cat paws the mouse before it's kill?

"I...I...really like you!" she looked up earnestly. Naraku's heart skipped a beat.

(An: drama queen, but can you guess what's gonna happen next? Now, I have explained many times my hatred for cheesy romance. Therefore, obviously not let this become one. Wait for it...it's gonna be goooooooood. snicker)

"You...like...me?" he stammered. She nodded violently, upsetting her hair.

"Could you...c-c-all me something else...other then Katana?" she had her eyes downcast again.

"l-l-like what?" although Naraku was a GREATLY EVIL being, something as simple as this had him quivering in his boots..er...sandals.

"I dunno...maybe.." she blushed a hot crismon again. "W-whatever you like..."

Usagi poked his head round the door. "Hey, Katana, we need-" he caught sight of her and Naraku sitting beside each other and grinned a grin that Naraku hated at once. "It's alright, if I'm disturbing you I can just tell the mistress that your...uh...with Naraku in your room sitting beside each other with your hair open holding his hand..."

Katana snatched her hand away from Naraku's.

Naraku hated Usagi oh very very very much right that moment. He hated him so much, he didn't even notice Katana was blushing and any other guy would be loooooong gone by now. It was almost if Usagi had called her on cue...

That was why when he did notice, he almost tripped over himself to try and excuse himself. "Uuh...no, it's alright, Katana you can go. I have to go myself, thank you." he bowed. (which also left Katana with a twitching eyebrow and Usagi grinning a BRILLANTLY evil grin)

He ran out of the room and into the next corridor, where he paused to catch his breath and unheat his flushed face. Damn...he thought. I'm blushing all over! And he went to take a cold shower very calmly.

Hatu and Taru got up, rubbing various newly formulated bruises. "What's gotten into him?" Hatu grumbled as he surveyed the tea he just spilled.

He had been calmly walking down the hall with Taru carrying tea and suddenly a purple blur comes up screaming, "AHH! GET AWAY! GET OUTTA THE WAY!" and runs him over before he can do anything. In the middle of the chaos he also thought he caught a fleeting glimpse of Naraku's face...but then again if it turned out to be a purple tumbleweed, Hatu would never have known.

(A/n: calm indeed...)

Back in Katana's room, Katana and Usagi were holding hands and jumping up and down chanting in a singsong 'We did it!' and giggling away like a couple of crazed infants. No really.

"Did he really believe you?" Usagi asked for the millionth time.

"I told you, yes! I almost feel sorry for the poor guy!"

"Well I don't!" and they shared identical grins.

"Naraku..." Katana breathed, and then burst into laughter with Usagi.

"Soo...did you make out?" Usagi asked.

Katana hit him across the head. "No idiot! There was no damn way in hell-"

"Swearing alert!"

"I would do that! That would be taking it too far! I'd be scarred for life!" Katana protested.

Usagi shrugged.

"Do you have any of the black goop left?"

Katana shook her head. "I used all of it...I wonder if it's reusable?" and suddenly Katana's shape morphed into a mouse.

"Wow...you're good at this!" Usagi exclaimed and the mouse transformed into Naraku, and then to his mother.

"Naraku! No swearing!" he imitated, shaking his hand in a no-no way.

Usagi chuckled.

" I have to will this off?" the morphing monster asked.

Usagi shrugged. "Worth a try."

A few seconds after, the big black blob a.k.a the morphing monster started to melt into Usagi's height and a lanky figure. The tip of the head emerged, and then a small ponytail. After that, the face, Kohaku's grinning face appeared and as the goop left his body, he was left in Katana's clothes.

When the last of the mysterious substance found in Naraku's room had convulsed and disappeared into nothingness, Usagi took a look at where it had been. "There goes a lot of fun and planning..." he shook his head sadly.

Kohaku's voice was muffled from the shirt he was pulling over his head, leaving his body, covered in a diving suit like thing, the thing that covered his body no matter what form he took on. (which meant that it covered the body when he was impersonating Katana)

"Yeah but I wonder how he'll act around Katana now...when she gets back from the market with mother...heh.."

"Katana...if he calls her darling, or sweetlips, or like love...what'll she do?" Usagi pondered on a very important topic.

"Maybe she'll..." Usagi punched and kicked the air to get his meaning across.

"Or maybe she won't mind at all, because she already liked Naraku and now even love him? And then she'll get married to him, and Naraku will happily ever after." Kohaku lsaid with a surprisingly straight face.

They put their arm's around each other's shoulders and laughed for the better part of an hour. "Pft. As if!" they said in unison when they got over it.

(a/n: Kohaku and Usagi are quite evil aren't they? Call it Naraku's influences...he isn't an angel either.)

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"I hate this I hate math I'm gonna fail and repeat the year I'm gonna fair and all my friends are gonna go ahead I'm gonna fail I hate math I hate math I hate math I HATE MATH!"

Miroku chuckled in the guest's common room. "You would think that Lady Kagome woulden't study if she hates it that much..." he remarked when he heard Kagome's voice rising above the hushed levels and reaching from here to the room next door in which they were currently in.

Sango sighed. "It sure is a strange era...maybe she has to do it?"

"Not sure. But what point is there of taking those 'exams' of hers of she might get swapped with Sesshomaru?"

sango gasped. "Your right for once...I think your getting smarter!" she feigned surprise and put her hand on Miroku's forehead. Mistake. That left Miroku's hands free, and herself with no defense. And not one person can not know what Miroku does with his free hands when Sangos sitting by him unless he or she was dormant for the past thousand years.

"AAAIIIYYYYEEE!"

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Monk, remove your hand or it wont be attached to your shoulder next time you look."

Mirkou gulped at Sango's clenched teeth threat.

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Katana walked up to her room. The entire house had been acting...crazy.

Usagi and Kohaku burst into laughter forced tears whenever she seemed to be near, and Naraku kept glancing at her and blushing. And avoiding her probably. The curiosity put her in a bad mood, which meant everyone else was being sickeningly sweet to her, and avoiding her. Damn the mood.

She threw open her closet and stared at intently for a moment before noticing Kohaku's scent over the hakama she was going to wear.

Maybe this is a clue...?

She raced to Kohaku's room and knocked. He answered, laughing with Usagi with him. They had become best friends faster then Katana had ever seen anybody. Now they were inseparable. Upon seeing her, the two cracked up further.

She walked in. "Alright Kohaku, what's the joke? And why is your scent all over my clothes?"

Kohaku gulped and looked guilty as hell for a second before Usagi, grinning, filled her in.

"Uh...Kohaku was wearing them, and there is no joke. We were laughing at something else."

"Why was Kohaku wearing them?" she raised her eyebrow.

Usagi racked his brains for an answer. "Uh...he likes them?" he offered lamely.

Kohaku stood still and tight lipped. Usagi got a grin. "Wearing girl's clothes make him feel pretty." Kohaku spluttered and shot daggers at Usagi who was grinning from ear to ear.

Katana got up. He was just a little kid. It was probably a dare or something...

"Ok, so what's the joke?" she asked.

Usagi's smile faltered. He wasn't expecting this.

"Uh...uh...what joke?" he tried buying himself some time.

"The one you two have been giggling at like hyper little girls for the entire day?" she clarified.

"Ahhhh...that one..." Usagi stalled for some more time. Kohaku saved him...kinda. If you didn't count how lame that was exactly was.

"Ummm...see that bird?" Kohaku pointed out of the window at a random bird. Katana raised her eyebrows. "Well it's been sitting there the entire day and just drinking water more and more and more!It's funny!" Kohaku started laughing and fell back on the bed, more to the thought of how lame that sounded then the actual bird.

Katana raised her eyebrows. Then she rolled her eyes, muttered "Boys..", sighed and walked out the door.

"Have a good life." she greeted.

The door closed and Kohaku rounded on Usagi. Usagi was laughing. "So...nice save. A bird? Funny?"

He gulped when he saw the murderous look on Kohaku's eyes. "WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME WEARING GIRL CLOTHES?" he roared.

Usagi backed off a bit and laughed nervously. "Uhh...about that..."

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Katana was carrying up Naraku's tea to him. As she climbed the stairs she saw Kohaku and Usagi sitting together and doing something in the open area in front of Naraku's room door.

She knocked. Boy was she tired today...

Naraku opened the door but then tensed when he saw who it was. "Uh...come in.." he stammered, looking throughly uncomfortable. She took the tea inside.

There was silence as Katana waited for Naraku to finish his tea, stoic, professional as always.

Naraku seemed to be taking longer then usual.

"You can take t-t-this now..." he smiled shyly (imagine Naraku doing that!LMAO! This is the reason I couldn't control myself not to write this idea! ) "...Katana darling..."

Katana froze in mid-walk. What did he just call her now? Darling? Her? He called her that? Oh my god? Has the world come to an end? Naraku? My heart's stopping...Call her that? Why are there...stars around my head? Oh...pretty...

THUMP

"Uh...oh.."

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Usagi and Kohaku looked on and hid their silent jeers. "Aww! She was too tired to beat the crap out of him! We'd better go clear this up for another try!" Usagi said and dragged Kohaku to Naraku's room, where he was just staring at Katana's fallen body.

"uUmm...she must really be tired...she WAS shopping all day with mother...you know how hard THAT is!" Kohaku laughed nervously while they dragged Katana back to her own room.

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"W-what am I doing in my room?" Katana asked the second she woke up.

"Ahh! Katana, you kinda fainted from exhaustion..." Kohaku said. He decided not to tell her about the shock part...let Naraku do that again...hehe...

She nodded and ruffled his hair. "Thanks kiddo! How long have I been sleeping by the way?"

"About five minutes." she nodded again.

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Naraku was still stuck in place, looking where Katana had fallen. What exactly had happened? God this was...infuriating... for some reason he had a VERY very queer feeling about this...

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Naraku paced to Katana's room. He knocked. "Uh..Katana...I just came to know whether you were okay or not...'cause you fainted...can I come in?"

Katana shrugged. When did he ever want to come in the servants quarters? But maybe that was only because of Hatu...

She opened the door. "Yes, I am alright now. I thank you for your concern. Please come in."

Kohaku and Usagi looked on from inside Katana's room, unknown to Naraku, who stood in the door..

"It's alright. I'll be going now. I just wanted to see of you were doing alright...Katana-"

Usagi and Kohaku held their breaths. "-sweetlips."

Katana stared at Naraku in shock again. Usagi and Kohaku high-fived and grinned at Katana's twitching eyebrow. Is he trying to be funny?

Anger mounted in her, much to Usagi and Kohaku's delight. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" she thundered. Naraku wasn't feeling so good now.

"Um..uh...um...y-you asked me to..." he stuttered lamely.

Katana's voice floored him as she yelled. "ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? Or flirt?GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"

Naraku stepped back.

And she proceeded to beat a very very confused Naraku into bloody pulp with Kohaku and Usagi watching and giggling.

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"I don't get it!" Naraku sighed again. "She asked me to-"

Kohaku cut him off. "Women are weird sometimes, lover boy!"

"Your the one to talk!" Naraku shot back.

"Hey! Pssst!" Usagi whispered in Kohaku's ear after dragging him to a reasonable distance.

"What?" He asked, annoyed at being interrupted from taunting a black and blue Naraku.

"Should we tell him?" he asked.

Kohaku laughed. "Tell him that I was the one impersonating Katana? No way! That's one mystery he'll never figure out!"

Usagi shrugged and looked Kohaku on as he went back to comfort Naraku. "Hey Naaarakkkkuuuu! I heard Kaaataaana made your skin is match your kimono!"

Usagi snorted with laughter

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There! I hope that was funny! I know there was no plot stuff in there whatsoever, but I wanted to write this chapter. Please forgive me! (bows) I also really wanted to show you what kind of character Usagi is!

Sorry for the wait for this chapter, but I haven't really felt like writing anything and so have just been loitering around, finding myself another anime that I really like:- Kyou Kara Maoh! Anyone who can, check it out. It is, like hilarious beyond hilarious and kinda serious in all the right parts! Not to mention Wolfram...(he or Gunter could compete with Sesshomaru and Usagi!)

That...and I've been watching Bleach...and drawing a lot of funny comics based on the funniest couples...Renji and Byakuya...and I recently finished the Ouran High School Host Club series...I loved that! It was hilarious! Especially Nekozawa and his doll...hehe...does anyone else watch know these shows?

Ok, enough of my inconsistent yapping. I'm talking too much...

Now, hopefully, you've all had a good time reading about moments in Naraku's life. There's a HUGE surprise coming up soon so I thought it might be best if I treated you to this first...

DISCLAIMER:- I do not own the Inuyasha cast.

I do own my own characters though, Sorai, Usagi, Hatu, Taru, Katana, Naraku's Mom and Dad, Ataru etc.

Could someone tell me how my own characters are doing? I want to know if they're too bland...or unrealistic etc. Plz help me out here!