Lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating Ike's golden sword. The dual handed holy blade was positioned right over his chest as the buff swordsman prepared to plunge it into his chest. He tried crying out, but his voice didn't seem to work. He couldn't understand why Ike was about to kill him. They were friends! At least that's what he thought…
The rain poured down, causing Ike's blue hair to stick to his forehead. Somehow, that made him seem more menacing. Another flash of lightning allowed him to see the mercenary's eyes. They were blue waves of anger and fury. An unnatural scowl settled on his face and he got ready to go into for the kill.
"Prepare yourself," the swordsman grunted. "Monsters like you don't deserve mercy. Not after what you did."
A voice that did not sound like his own came from his mouth. "Would you really kill your beloved friend? He's still in here you know." The voice changed to his own but he wasn't the one forming the words. "Help me, Ike! Make it stop! It hurts! Please Ike! Please make it stop!"
An unholy scream echoed across the vast emptiness mixed with a bone chilling laugh. Both sounds were were coming from his mouth. Ike's eyes hardened, grief mixed with the anger in them. "That's enough out of you, beast! He's not your puppet anymore!"
Ike brought the sword down towards his sternum, fully prepared to plunge it right through his-
"No!" he cried as he awoke with a start.
His sheets and his body were soaked in cold sweat and he felt like he was going to puke. This was the fourteenth night in a row that he had a nightmare like that. It was getting to the point where he didn't want to sleep. But at least he assured himself they were only dreams; there was no way they could possibly be real.
At least he hoped that was the case. He used to get brief glimpses of the future, but that was before his mother put the block on that part of his mind. There's no possible way that these nightmares were visions of the future. Whatever they were though, he needed them to stop soon. They were messing with his sanity. He barely slept; he barely ate. It was amazing that he even showed up to his matches.
They had to stop before he completely lost it, otherwise they were in huge trouble.
Master Hand was furious. Everybody knew it immediately when he called them down to the training arena (the only formal place in Smash Mansion to fit all the Smashers at once). He only ever called them all together when something bad happened.
"What do you think happened this time?" Ness asked Link, who just shrugged.
"Roy probably broke a priceless vase or something again," Captain Falcon said while glaring accusingly at said swordsman. It was no secret that he wasn't a fan of Roy returning to Smash (he probably saw him as "competition" for all the ladies' affection).
Roy scoffed at the affront. "How dare you assume I did something wrong. One of the lovely ladies probably turned you in for your womanizing ways. I shudder to think what would have happened last week if Samus wasn't a kickass bounty hunter."
Captain Falcon clenched his fists, prepared to fight the Wielder of the Sword of Seals, but Wario grabbed him by the back of his jumpsuit and dragged him off before he could. "Oh no you don't. You still owe me money punk, and you are not getting yourself killed before I can collect."
Roy stuck his tongue out at the bounty hunter/F-Zero Racer before going to take his seat in the stands. Link meanwhile was pulled to a spot on the other side of the room by Zelda, who claimed she had something important to talk to him about. Ness, on the other hand, ran to catch up with Lucas, since he was kind of lonely not having many from his series in the tournament.
When all the fighters had finally made their way to the training arena and settled in their seats, Master Hand appeared. Master Hand was not furious. He was raging mad, which made all the Smashers feel bad for whoever had to face him later in Classic Mode. Whoever that was was really going to wish they were never invited to Smash Bros.
Luckily, the giant, disembodied hand cut right to the chase. "Who stole it?"
Confused, the fighters started mumbling among themselves. Who stole what? What was missing? It must have been pretty important for Master Hand to be as angry as he was, indicating that it was probably not a priceless vase (he never got that mad about those since it was a hazard with so many people under the same roof- and Link, the resident pot smasher, and Toon Link, the resident fancy pot smasher).
"Silence!" Master Hand roared. "One of you took it, and nobody is leaving until I find out who!"
Fox bravely (*read stupidly) cleared his throat and asked, "Took what?"
Master Hand's glove turned bright red with absolute rage and Fox quickly scrambled back, hiding behind King Dedede. "The jar! The jar with the shadow bugs! Where is it? Do you have any idea what will happen if they escape?"
Immediate chaos erupted. Fighters were yelling, pointing the blame at each other. Fist fights had broken out among the heroes and the villains. King Dedede shoved Wario. "Thought you'd make a quick buck, did you?"
"Oi! Who are you to blame me? As far as we know you took them to get funds to keep up your little 'King of Dreamland' charade." Wario shot back.
Meanwhile Ganondorf sat on the edge of the crowd in the shadows, watching the chaos unfold. It was beneath him to join in such petty fighting, but the petty fights worked to his advantage.
If everybody was occupied fighting, then they would never figure out his plans until it was too late.
"Just trusting you was my great sin. What can I do? You win again..."
Pit was laying on the couch listening to the radio and staring at the ceiling. Hank Williams typically wasn't his jam, but he didn't feel like changing it. Besides, he needed something older and slower to clear his head a little.
"What are you doing?" Viridi asked curiously. She was meeting with Palutena and decided to find Pit.
"You have no heart, you have no shame..."
"Admiring the genius of Hank Williams. Can you imagine what he had to go through to write such tragic songs?"
"I love you still, you win again."
Pit continued. "I mean, he rose to stardom and then he was dead at only twenty-nine. He was a poet in his own right. I guess what they say is true; the brightest stars always burn out the fastest."
"You're seriously acting weird. Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm fine," he replied dismissively. "I do have interests outside of serving Lady Palutena and fighting the Underworld."
"Uh-huh… And those interests include reading biographies and philosophising on the lives of dead early country and western singers?" she asked skeptically.
Pit rolled his eyes. "You know, I did have a job before I started serving Lady Palutena, and there's a lot of things I learned when I was younger."
He leaned over and picked up the iPod it was playing on before rewinding it. "The news is out, all over town…" Viridi rolled her eyes and walked off, muttering about how weird Pit was. Not that he really cared about what she thought.
A moment after the goddess of nature left, Dark Pit came in and sat down on a chair near Pit. "Ugh, what are you listening to."
"The best kind of country music. Did you know the last song Hank Williams released before his death was I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive? He told his wife Audrey that he wouldn't live another year without her when they divorced, and he was right."
Dark Pit rolled his eyes, obviously finding this side of Pit quite boring. The last thing he wanted to hear was his twin ramble about the life of Hank Williams. "Look, I really could care less. Can you turn on something else?"
Pit started grumbling to himself as he flicked through the music library on the iPod. He really didn't know whose it was, but it was left playing in the rec room, so it was fair game. The angel was typically upbeat, but he just wasn't in the mood for anything modern. He wanted something old. Something that matched his mood and helped to clear his thoughts. "Ah-ha. This is perfect."
The rich baritone voice of Jim Reeves started to flow from the speakers. "Precious memories, how they linger…"
Virdi scowled and grabbed fistfuls of her golden hair in frustration as she poked her head back into the room. "You're impossible!"
"And your point is?"
At that moment Palutena and Link walked in. The two had been discussing Pit and his sudden change in behavior and attitude. Both studied the scene before them with concern.
Link cleared his throat awkwardly. "I didn't think you were a Christian."
"I'm not," Pit said distastefully. "Just because angels are associated with Christianity, doesn't mean that all angels are Christians. How would I serve Lady Palutena if I was? Can't I just appreciate Jim Reeves because he's a good singer?"
"You missed it," Viridi butted in, "he was philosophizing on the life and music of Hank Williams earlier."
Pit scowled. "Fine! I'll change it!"
He mumbled angrily under his breath as he flicked through the music, which was a very un-Pit-like thing to do. The angel was in a foul mood. He hadn't been sleeping well, his arm still hurt from the whole training incident, and Viridi being her usual self was not improving his mood at all. Link and Palutena exchanged a look. Something was definitely going on with Pit, and whatever it was, it probably wasn't good.
"No matter how I struggle and strive, I'll never get out of this world alive."
"I got the stuff," Lucas informed Ness, producing a bucket full of disgusting brown stuff that was part slime, part liquid. It was a gross mixture of soil, cattle manure, the previous night's trash from dinner (peas, yuck), toilet water, and a week's worth of rabbit urine.
"Excellent," Ness said eagerly as he put a clothespin on his nose. "He'll never see it coming. It will be forever before he gets the stink off!"
"Are you sure about this?" the blond asked. "If anything, he'll smell like ammonia for a week."
"How do you get ammonia from this?" Bowser Jr. asked. The Koopa Prince was always down with causing mischief, so he decided to join in on whatever Ness and Lucas were up to.
"He means the rabbit urine. It's rich in ammonia and very… potent. The only thing worse is cat, but we couldn't get that on such short notice," Ness replied. "This will teach him. He'll think twice next time he decides to cheat in a match. Get ready; I'll tell you when he's coming."
Lucas positioned the bucket on top of the rail and Bowser Jr. secured it with a rope. Ness pulled out the binoculars he had borrowed from the mansion's storage and started watching for their target. Up on the third floor where hardly anybody ever went, he had the perfect view of the mansion.
Peach and Zelda were having tea in the parlor with Lucina and trying to teach her how to be a proper princess (Lucina was being polite, but it was obvious she didn't want to be there). Link and Ike were discussing something, probably swords or something. Mario and Luigi were playing chess against each other. Wario had somehow convinced Dark Pit to play another round of poker with him. And male Robin sat in the corner reading an important looking parchment.
"He's coming!" Ness said as he saw their target. Lucas and Bowser Jr. prepared themselves. "On the count of three. One… Two… Three!"
When he said the last number, Lucas yanked on the rope, causing the bucket to fall over, dumping its contents onto their unsuspecting victim. As soon as it happened, Ness grabbed ahold of Bowser Jr. and took off with Lucas close behind. They could not, under any circumstances, be caught at the scene of the crime.
"What the—!" a surprised voice cried. Their victim, Captain Falcon, was covered in the slop. What was even better is the fact Seamus was coming the other way. She would get to witness the great F-Zero Racer covered in the slimy mixture.
"He'll never cheat again!" Ness snickered.
"A-And if anyone asks," Lucas told Bowser Jr., "we didn't have anything to do with it. Got it?"
"Oh yeah!" Bowser Jr. replied. That was the most fun he had since coming to Smash Mansion. There was nothing he loved more than causing chaos.
"Keep it a secret and we'll include you in our next prank, deal?" Ness asked.
"Of course," the Koopa prince agreed.
Suddenly, they were stopped in their tracks by running into a wall of some sort. The three young Smashers ended up getting knocked flat on their butts. The wall they ran into started growling, alerting them that they had, in fact, run into somebody instead of the wall. And that somebody was not someone they wanted to mess with.
Ganondorf, Hyrule's greatest villain, was glowering as he stared down at them. "Well, well, well. What do we have here? Ness and Lucas. Another prank I assume? And Bowser Jr.? I didn't think heroes associated with villains. I also didn't think your father allowed you to run about the mansion."
"Go away, Ganondorf," Ness said, pulling out his bat. He was fully prepared to take on the King of Evil to protect his friends.
Ganondorf chuckled. "Put it away little hero. I have no interest in fighting you. As for getting away, I was here first, if I'm not mistaken. Now scram before I change my mind."
Before Ness could retort, a large, scaly claw pushed him back. "Hey, what do-"
He cut himself off when he looked up and saw it was Bowser, the King of the Koopas himself who pushed him away. Bowser did not look happy at all.
"N-Ness, we should g-go," Lucas said as he shook violently. He had faced villains bigger than Bowser and Ganondorf, but he didn't really feel comfortable around them.
Besides, whatever was about to go down between the two villains probably wasn't something kids should see.
The mandatory "Ness pulls a prank scene." So cliché, I know. And why did they include Jr.? Simple, they're kids and so is he. Ness seems like the kind of guy where he wouldn't want anyone to feel left out. And I know Pit is majorly OOC, but trust me, you'll find out why.
Anyway, I still don't own SSB or its characters. You Win Again and I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive are two songs written by the great Hank Williams Sr., so obviously not mine. The other lyrics are from a hymn called Precious Memories. Jim Reeves, an American Gospel/Country singer, has the best version of it. Jim Reeves and Hank Sr. are two of my favorite singers.