A Girl's Father is More Dangerous Than Any Trained Fighter
Gintoki strolled out of the grocery store, a bag full of strawberry milk cartons on his arm as he counted his change, wondering if he had enough to play a quick game of pachinko before he was expected at his next job. That morning he had assisted a photographer who was taking pictures of the wildlife in the nearby forest, he had mostly just carried the fragile and expensive equipment but had received extra pay for providing action shots of some of the more dangerous animals. Honestly who knew that a bear could get so upset by having its nose poked with a sharp stick? It was not his fault, he was just wondering if it was hibernating or not.
He rounded the corner and saw the pachinko parlor just across the street; there were already several people inside playing, including Hasegawa and a few others that he knew from previous times spent at the pachinko parlor. Through the large windows he could see them laughing and hugging each other as they played the game they all loved so much, some of them were drinking sake as they toasted their successful round. He looked down at the money in his hand, there was just enough for a few rounds if he started now; then when he was out of money he could hurry on to his next job, which was scrubbing down some horses at a local ranch. Quickly he crossed the street and entered the parlor, the loud noises of the machines greeting his ears as he hurried to an empty machine, not even stopping to address the people shouting their greetings at him as he ran.
Finally he was at a machine, one that felt incredibly lucky to him as he carefully placed his strawberry milk on the ground beside him then fished out his wallet to store his play money before selecting a beautiful 100-yen piece. Kissing it he gently slid it into the money slot and felt a rush of excitement when the machine reacted, the musical sound of the starting music reaching his ears, sending him into a state of blissful relaxation. This was not a time to be completely relaxed, however, as it was now a time for strategy and precision. Looking down at the wheel to his right he poised his fingers over the wheel as he watched the slot fill up with those beautiful silver balls, he knew that one miscalculation could spell disaster so he waited until everything was in place before he made his move. His fingers still had yet to make contact with the wheel directly, all part of his plan as he flexed his fingers and practiced a few controlled spinning movements with his wrists. If he was going to win, he was going to have to figure out this machine's sweet spot, and he wanted his first spin to count rather than just be blind guess work.
Taking a deep breath he finally put his hand on the wheel, the idea to just spin it wildly creeping into his mind as he stared at his immobile hand, but he quickly banished the idea with a very controlled flick of his wrist. The move sent the balls spiraling up out of the shoot and towards the little hole that would either ensure victory or defeat. He watched with rapt attention as the balls went between the many pins that stood between them and the goal, that small hole at the bottom that was miraculously opened wide to allow more than just one ball in at a time. Amazingly enough most of the balls headed towards the hole, the sweet sound of those metal spheres bouncing into the winning slot were like music to his ears and he began counting how many were going in. When the last ball fell in, he quickly calculated the exchange rate and a huge grin broke out on his face, he was going to have enough to break even and make a double payment on the house!
"Congratulations, Gintoki!" shouted Hasegawa, coming up behind him then clapping him on the back. "I guess there's still some of the real you left after all, you haven't been totally sucked into the world of financial security."
"Nope!" exclaimed Gintoki as the virtual slot machine showed up across the pachinko screen, without hesitation he spun the wheel and his breath caught in his throat as he saw two of the same number appear on the screen almost instantly. He watched as the cartoon good guy and bad guy came on to duke it out over which number would complete the trio, either the same number or a different number. He was not too concerned, he knew he had several spins left after this first one, but he could hardly believe his luck at getting to this point so early in the day. The two cartoon samurai on screen fought each other and he saw something odd, the virtual woman in the corner of the screen had suddenly turned into a golden statue; he, as a seasoned pachinko player, knew immediately what that meant and was excited. He was going to have a huge payout!
Everyone in the parlor had gathered around Gintoki's machine, waiting for the bad samurai to fall to the good samurai, they were ready to celebrate his good fortune with freshly warmed sake. Just as the bad samurai fell to the ground, there was an ominous cracking sound just moments before the roof collapsed on top of their heads. Gintoki and the others had managed to get to some area of safety before pieces of the roof buried their torsos, which immobilized them, though that was hardly any consolation once Gintoki saw who had caused the collapse in the first place. Once the dust cleared, a very prominent and angry figure was standing on the crushed remains of not only the pachinko machine Gintoki had been playing at but also his highly prized strawberry milk. Looking up he saw the fiery eyes of Umibouzu boring into his skull, his olive green umbrella pointed squarely at Gintoki's face before Umibouzu raised it high above his head and brought it screaming down towards Gintoki's head. There was no skull shattering sound as he expected, when he looked down he saw that Gintoki was keeping his umbrella at bay with his bokuto, although from his position he was struggling.
"What the hell do you want, Hage?" asked Gintoki through grit teeth. "You've already destroyed my chance at winning pachinko, you smashed my strawberry milk, what else is there to take from me?"
"I came to get my daughter's honor back!" shouted Umibouzu as he raised his umbrella again, only this time Gintoki was ready and he jumped out from underneath the pile of debris, out of striking range.
From his new position a few feet away, Gintoki glared at Umibouzu, he had a feeling that Kagura had let slip the fact they were engaged to her father and he was here to kill him for seducing his daughter. 'If only he knew the truth,' mused Gintoki as he jumped straight in the air in order to avoid another attack. Somehow he managed to jump right over his opponent and went running out of the door to the pachinko parlor, hoping to draw Umibouzu away from innocent civilians while they settled their issues. He continued to run as fast and as far as he could, knowing all the while that his soon to be father-in-law was chasing after him and was going to catch up to him sooner or later.
Spotting an alleyway, he ducked around the corner to catch his breath, kicking himself for not realizing that this would happen. Almost two weeks ago he had received the letter from Umibouzu saying that he would be coming to Earth to visit his daughter, the impending visit was partially what spurred Gintoki to proposing to Kagura sooner, so he could get her father's blessing and invite him to the wedding. He had also intended for the visit to be a surprise for Kagura, hence why he had not told her to expect her father. In hindsight he probably should have told her so she could warn him about what to expect when they told him about their engagement, then she might have been of some help in this situation.
"Gintoki!" shouted a familiar voice and he turned to see Kagura sprinting up to him, her umbrella clutched securely in her hand. "Gintoki, my father—"
"Is after me, I know," finished Gintoki. "He ambushed me at the pachinko parlor, just when I was about to win a huge jackpot! He also destroyed my strawberry milk."
Kagura's face twisted in slight rage. "What were you doing at the pachinko parlor?! I thought you had given up gambling and drinking!"
"You can't expect me to give it all up without falling off the wagon!" shouted Gintoki. "Even this author can't make that idea believable."
"Whatever," huffed Kagura. "We can discuss this later, right now we have to deal with Papi. He's making you prove yourself, showing him that you're worthy of marrying me."
Gintoki rolled his eyes. "You can't be serious? Surely the way I've taken care of you is proof enough: I feed you, I clothe you, I love you, I feed you, I protect you, I feed you. Why isn't that enough for him?"
"It's some stupid Yato thing, okay?" sighed Kagura as she leaned against the wall. "Normally, a suitor and a girl's father will fight each other until one of them is dead: if the father wins, his daughter marries someone of his choice, if the suitor wins then she marries him. The tradition has now evolved to a brutal battle that results in injury rather than death when it became evident that too many young men were dying. I didn't think my father would insist on it, after all he does like you, but I guess hearing I was engaged to you was too much for his rational brain to handle."
"And how exactly did you tell Hage that you and I were engaged?" asked Gintoki as he chanced a glance around the corner of the alleyway.
Kagura shrugged. "I just blurted it out, I guess. I was too excited to think of a better way."
"We have got to work on that," groaned Gintoki as he readied his bokuto.
Kagura was about to argue with him when she saw a shadow descending on them, knowing exactly who it was she pushed Gintoki out of the way and onto the sidewalk outside just as her father landed on the ground, creating a large hole. Gintoki got up immediately and took a defensive stance moments before Umibouzu turned around, swiping his large umbrella at Gintoki's head only to have him yet again stop the weapon's progress with his bokuto. They locked eyes for a second before they began clashing their respective weapons against each other like actual swords, blocking and slicing as they steadily made their way onto the street. Umibouzu could not help but feel a little bit of pride as he watched Gintoki block his attacks, he had always known this punk samurai could fight, even better than most Yato could but he was not about to give in just because he was glad he was marrying Kagura. There was a tradition to uphold and he was not about to be the reason it faltered.
"Kagura, I will win your honor back for you!" called Umibouzu as he jumped sideways to avoid Gintoki's attack. "Then you can go home with me and I will pick you out a proper man to marry."
Gintoki grit his teeth, he knew Umibouzu was egging him on, hoping he would slip up and make a fatal mistake. "No Yato man could compare to me!" shouted Gintoki as he jumped on Umibouzu's umbrella as it came crashing into the dirt, using the opportunity to repeatedly hit him in the face. "And there is no woman for me except Kagura!" He leapt from atop Umibouzu's face to a spot between himself and Kagura, his hands still gripping tightly to his bokuto. There was no way he was going to lose to this bald man.
Umibouzu evaluated the damage done to his face by Gintoki, it was strong enough to hurt but not powerful enough to break anything or kill him, that punk was calling his bluff. He was daring Umibouzu to try and injure him when he had not done so despite the very obvious opportunity. He could respect that, while they might have their differences he still does not see him as an enemy even if he is threatening to take Kagura away, if anything he is hoping to settle this matter without a single drop of blood. 'Very well, Gintoki, I'll play your game,' thought Umibouzu as he charged Gintoki's position, determined to get him to yield.
"Give it up, Hage," said Gintoki in a strained voice, he was having some difficulty in maintaining both his grip and his position as Umibouzu continued to try and push him out of the way. "So long as Kagura wants to be with me, I won't go anywhere."
"Typical sentiments from a man using a naïve girl," snapped Umibouzu, trying a new tactic as he raised his umbrella in order to strike Gintoki from the side but again he was stopped. "You aren't worthy of even having her look at you!"
"I know that," spat Gintoki as he used their joined weapons as a source of inertia to throw Umibouzu off his feet, nearly succeeding in his endeavor though he only moved him back a few feet. "I know I'm a lazy, gambling, perm-headed lay about. Believe it or not, I know my faults better than anyone else, and being around Kagura just makes me notice them even more! If you took her away, I'm sure I would go back to ignoring my bad habits."
Umibouzu was stunned by this statement, this was completely contrary to what he had expected Gintoki to say, now he was not so sure about blessing their impending marriage.
"But," continued Gintoki, still keeping the umbrella at bay, "I don't want to ignore them anymore. Kagura's forced me to look at myself and grow up a little so I can take care of her properly, and myself as well. I don't want to be as old as you and still done nothing with my life except fought in a war no one remembers; I want to be surrounded by children, all of who hopefully have my wife's straight hair. I want a nice house full of things I own, not just taken off the streets because I don't have anything. I want to wake up everyday next to the woman I love looking at me, the same woman I want to have pour me my sake after a long day.
"That woman is Kagura. She makes me want a better life, one where we can both be happy and together. I've tried several times to picture myself with another woman, someone the world would expect me to be with, but none of them fit into my dreams as well as Kagura; and I've tried to see her with a different man and I get incredibly angry. I don't want anyone else but her and gods willing, she might feel the same about me."
"I do feel the same way, Gintoki!" shouted Kagura as she rushed up to his side only to be stopped by Umibouzu's glare. "I don't want to be married to any other man! I don't care if Papi disapproves, there's no other man for me but you."
Umibouzu looked up at his daughter, seeing the same look of love in her eyes that her mother held in hers so long ago for an idiot warrior just trying to make his way in the world; he knew their life together would hardly be simple but he could not deny that both seemed pretty damned determined to make it work.
Gintoki saw the way he was distracted and used that moment to bring up his boot and kick Umibouzu squarely in the abdomen, sending the monster hunter sailing back into a wall. He then looked over at Kagura and silently indicated to her to follow him, together they ran up to where Umibouzu had been thrown, as they approached they were both surprised to hear him laughing. Gintoki looked to Kagura who merely shrugged as they looked down at her father, watching him laugh.
"By the Buddha, I'm impressed," wheezed Umibouzu as he stood up though not as quickly as he normally would. "You defeated me in combat, Punk, something I wasn't sure you could do; in doing so, you've earned my blessing. I will happily allow Kagura to marry you."
"Not that you had a choice," muttered Kagura though she was relieved nevertheless.
Umibouzu nodded. "I know you would have married him with or without my consent, but it's best that this happened this way. Most Yato would not even recognize a marriage without this trial by combat, so now you can get married and no one can object."
"I suppose that's good," said Gintoki warily. "Does Kagura have some Yato fiancé waiting for her back home that's going to come try to kill me now?"
"No," replied Umibouzu as he picked up his umbrella. "I was asking around but I couldn't find any takers, not that that surprised me any; one of the conditions I presented to potential husbands was that they would have to live on Earth and they weren't too happy about that idea. I'm glad that you wised up and decided to marry her, Punk." He then slung his umbrella over his shoulder and started walking towards a nearby restaurant. "Now, how about I treat my daughter and soon to be son-in-law to a nice lunch?"
Gintoki and Kagura looked at each other and shrugged, it was not like they had anything else to do that day, considering that Gintoki was now incredibly late for his odd job and Kagura did not have to start working until later that night. Quickly they ran after him.
They sat in silence as they ate their food. Gintoki had ordered three chocolate parfaits and his usual red beans on rice dish while Kagura and Umibouzu ordered several large dishes of varying food and were just about finished with all of them. They had tried conversation earlier in the meal but that had fallen flat considering Gintoki and Umibouzu had just finished fighting each other, even though it did not end in bloodshed.
"Have you two planned anything for your wedding yet?" asked Umibouzu between bites of noodles and squid.
Kagura looked to Gintoki who shrugged.
"We've got the engagement party mostly planned," replied Gintoki as he scooped a bite of chocolate covered banana on his spoon. "We're having it later this week at the snack shop, everyone we know is pretty much invited, I just have to help pay for the alcohol apparently."
Umibouzu nodded thoughtfully. "That's a start I suppose. Any thoughts for when you want to have the actual wedding?"
"How long are you staying, Papi?" asked Kagura as she sucked on a piece of sukombu.
"Just a few weeks," replied Umibouzu a little sadly. "I was hoping for a longer visit but unfortunately I have a few previous obligations that will need my attention shortly. I suppose that means I'll miss your wedding."
"Not unless we have the wedding before you leave," said Gintoki suddenly. "That way you don't' have to miss anything and Kagura gets to have you on probably the most important day of her life."
Kagura's smile was almost blinding it was so dazzling and Gintoki's heart soared at the sight, glad he could make her smile like that.
"That's awfully generous of you but I wouldn't want to ruin your plans," said Umibouzu cautiously though he was inwardly ecstatic at the idea of being there for Kagura's wedding.
Gintoki shook his head. "You just heard us say we haven't planned anything, so you won't be ruining anything. Stop being such a stubborn old man and just accept our generosity, after all we're going to be the one's offering you a place to live when you get older and can't get yourself to the toilet."
"And where do you plan on living?" asked Umibouzu suspiciously. "Surely you don't plan on staying in that terrible apartment above the snack shop? You already owe that woman a fortune in rent."
"Gintoki's working towards buying Yorozuya," said Kagura tentatively, wondering if she was saying the right thing. "And he got me a job at the snack shop as a hostess."
"I suppose that's a good start," said Umibouzu as he took a bite of noodles and squid. "But have you considered buying an actual home? That place is fine for two people and Sadaharu but what about when you have children? There won't be enough room down the road for a full house."
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," said Gintoki with a small smile, putting his arm snugly around Kagura's shoulders. "Kagura's not expecting a baby yet, so we've got a while to plan on building our own house."
Umibouzu considered his argument. "It sounds like you've got a few plans in mind for what your married life is going to be like, or at least how you want it to go. When did you come up with all of these grand plans?"
Gintoki shrugged as best he could. "When Kagura and I first started our relationship, that was when I seriously considered some of these ideas, before that it was just a fantasy."
"I hope you know what you're getting into," said Umibouzu with a teasing tone. "Kagura's got a wild spirit like her mother, she won't be easily tamed."
Kagura stuck her tongue out as Gintoki laughed in agreement, which earned him a solid pinch on his thigh, the action resulting in the two bickering about it and a few other things that were brought up. Umibouzu just sat back and smiled as the scene unfolded in front of him, he was glad that his daughter had found someone who cared about her enough to better her life and to provide the things for her he himself had been unable to. For a moment he thought about her mother, the love of his life, and how she would have reacted to the news of her little girl getting married; if he was being honest she would have probably been the one to initiate the Yato tradition on Gintoki and would not have likely given in so easily. Thoughts of his late wife saddened Umibouzu greatly, but as he watched Kagura and Gintoki squabbling like he and Kouka used to, he found an odd sense of calm wash over him. 'Maybe he'll be the one to make up for my mistakes.'