Chapter Two
"Shh, Anna, shh. Be very quiet." I put a finger to my lips in indication of my words. Anna repeated my motion; the sides of her pouty lips overflowing under the hard force her finger put on them. I stifled my laughter and moved across the green grass, heading towards the front door of 324 Valley Road. I reached the big wooden door of my house, leaned my forehead against one of the three glass windows to peek inside, making sure the coast was clear. Anna tried to copy me, resulting in her head banging hard into the glass with a thump. She frowned, eyebrows down low over her eyes, nose wrinkled. Anna rubbed her forehead and glared at me. I just grinned back, making her scowl. I turned my gaze back to the door, seeing no one in the hall, and put my sister down on the ground. Barely making a sound, I opened the door and slipped inside, Anna at my heels. I shut the door gently behind me, walking towards the staircase at the end of the hall. Anna, quiet as a whisper, shuffled behind me. And tripped.
BAM!
The sound echoed down the long hall. I froze on the spot, turning to Anna. She lay sprawled out on the floor, her dirty yellow sundress in all directions. Her eyes were wide in shock, and she looked up at me sheepishly.
"Oops." She mouthed the word. I held my breath, listening for a sign of other movements. Seconds later I heard the quick shuffling of feet coming from the kitchen. I mumbled obscenities as my mother walked into the small hall. She assessed the situation, her eyes roaming everywhere, finally down to little Anna on the floor, as the Jaws theme song played through my mind. Her expressions changed quickly, from curiousity to confusion, then to anger and worry. She settled on worry as she looked over at Anna on the ground.
"Oh, Anna! Look at your dress! Completely ruined! And what happened to you poor little forehead, dear? It's red all over. And now your going to be black and blue tomorrow, and I planned on going to Betty's little get together tomorrow with you. What will they think, you being all covered in bruises? Head on upstairs, honey. I'll be right there." Mom cooed, gently ushering Anna up the stairs while attempting not to touch all of the grime that coated her, making her dress look more brown than yellow. Once Anna was safely up the stairs, my mother turned on me. Her look of worry instantly washed away, twisting into one of disgust and anger. I sighed, waiting for torrent of words. I didn't have to wait long.
"Have you no responsibility?" she started at me, pointing her freshly manicured finger in my face. I crossed my arms tightly against my chest as she continued her rampage.
"Does everything I tell you go through one ear and out the other? You are supposed to watch Anna. And when I see her, she's a wreck. All I ask you to do is take care of her for a few hours. You let the way you are affect Anna, and don't take care of her because you are too involved with being a loner and blocking yourself out from the world. Everything you do affects my little girl! You think I want her rolling around in the mud and not having a care in the world? You're a terrible role model, and I have to do everything I can to make sure she doesn't turn out… ugh. Nevermind, Alana. This is hopeless."
My vision seemed to glaze with red in my anger. I suppressed the shaking anger so it wouldn't invade my voice, and I looked at my mother.
"Make sure she doesn't turn out like what, Mom? Like me? You don't want me ruining your second chance at a perfect daughter, because I'm your big mess up? Anna is going to be who she wants to be, whether you like it or not. Anna has too much heart to become your perfect, mini robot of a daughter. She won't be that frilly ballerina or princess, she isn't going to stick her pinky out whenever she holds a glass of water." I took a step towards my mother, my face close to hers.
"Anna's not going to be like me, no. She is going to be everything I'm not. Because she has the one thing I never had growing up with you. Anna has me. I'm only a mess up because I let you make me become one, because I had no one there to protect me. But I'm not going to let that happen to her. You're not going to mess up her life trying to re-live yours." I leaned away from her, anger heating my body from the core.
My mother's face was flushed red at the cheekbones, and her hands were clenched into fists at her side. She glared into my eyes, and I didn't look away. I just went up the stairs, leaving her fuming behind me before she regained her speech again.
I turned at the top of the stairs and called down to her, "By the way, Mom, I think I'll give Anna her bath. I notice you got a new manicure; wouldn't want to mess that up before 'Betty's little get-together' tomorrow, would we? Because really, without that perfect little image, what would everyone think?" I mimicked. With that, not wanting to push my luck, I stalked up the last remaining steps and went to give Anna her bath.
It was midnight, and I was still wide-awake, just staring at the stars dimly twinkling outside my window beneath the thin layer of clouds. I wasn't thinking at all, just watching the sky, imagining it as a thousand tiny diamonds sprinkled out on a piece of smooth, flawless black silk. People usually see so many different questions in the sky, but see so many answers. To be in the sky was to be free, to never be judged and never to be bothered. You could just be. When I stared at it, that was exactly what I was, and I was free from everything in my life. I was free of thinking about my mother, and I was free of thinking about my whole life. I was even free of thinking about Eric and his gentle eyes. I was free of thinking about how being with him was the farthest thing from reality.
I was still staring at the sky when I heard the soft pitter-patter of footsteps from the hall. I heard my door gently open, and I never looked over at my door, I continued to stare out into the night sky. The sheets that covered me rustled, and a warm body was soon nestled into my side. There was a moment of silence.
"What was it tonight?" I asked into the air. "A monster? Godzilla? King Kong? The Boogey Man?" I smiled when a little pair of fingers pinched me.
"No," Anna mumbled, "It was…nuttin." I could almost feel her blush in the darkness. I sat up so I could see her outline in the darkness.
"Oh c'mon, what was the nightmare tonight? We've been doing this for how long now? You have a nightmare and creep in here because your scared and sleep with me? Spill the beans, kid!" I teased, ruffling her hair. It was true. We had been doing this for who knows how long, and every morning Anna would sneak into her own bed before Mom would wake up and check in on her before work.
"Ok, but you no laugh" Anna grumbled. She turned away and mumbled something too low for me to hear. I smacked her arm playfully. "Martians. Big, giant heads, green, and ugly!" Anna finally said loud enough for me to hear. I held back my laughter against the pillow and she just glowered at me. I gained control of myself and rolled around to once again look at the stars, Anna looking with me.
When I heard Anna's steady breathing beside me, I just looked down at her. She was nestled in my neck, her arms limp on my stomach. As I lay there, finally letting myself sleep, I could only pray she wouldn't turn out just like me.