Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time.
AN: Warning...This story is me expressing my frustration with the automatic assumption that Snowing must forgive everyone that has wronged them. This is how I think they may feel deep inside and does not reflect what they show on the outside. Angst ahead. There are a couple barbs at the Evil Queen and Hook, so be warned there too. Again, you've been warned.
Once Upon a Snowing
Good Face
Snow took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself to face another day. Killian was back and she should be bursting with happiness for her daughter, but it was a farce. Only one person knew how she truly felt and that was her husband, who felt much the same as her. They didn't like putting on a good face for everyone, but they both agreed there was not much choice.
Sure, they could freely express how they really felt to their family, but they knew it would not be met with understanding. Rather, they would be gently chided for not being forgiving. They were Snow and Charming. They forgave everyone. It was who they were.
"It's who we are," she muttered in distaste. How could a person be expected to live up to such expectations? Why were they on a pedestal? She and Charming had made their fair share of mistakes, but she was having trouble remembering there being much understanding from others. Mostly just disappointment that they dared to stumble. Mostly surprise that they were human. Mostly sharp tongues to kick them when they were down.
Normally, she dealt with this better, but that was because she had David to talk to about her feelings; those deep feelings she didn't dare show to anyone but him. Thus, she was bitter and she did not like being bitter. She couldn't help it though. The Evil Queen got a happy ending. But she and Charming were still cursed.
The woman that had hunted her like she was an animal got her happy ending. The woman that had cursed her to an eternal slumber got her happy ending. The woman who had forced her to give up her daughter in order to save her got her happy ending. The reason she couldn't talk to her husband or be held by him now got her happy ending. Gods what she wouldn't give to feel Charming's arms around her right now. But she couldn't. Their happiness had been denied to them once more. And for what? A secret she had told as a child after being manipulated by an evil bitch? She shook her head.
She hated feeling this way. She loved Regina, she really did. They had become very close friends, but she couldn't help but separate her from the Evil Queen. Sometimes it was the only way she got through the day without Charming. She still wasn't able to see them as the same person, no matter how much people wanted her to. She loved Regina as family, but she didn't love the Queen. She didn't dare say so. Only Charming knew...her beloved husband that she could be completely herself with. There was no need to put on a good face around him. He loved her wholly, flaws and all, just as she loved all of him. No pedestals for her to fall from with him.
And then there was Hook. She had always been so apprehensive, but he had really convinced her that he had changed when he helped her husband through the ordeal he had concerning his father's murder. It killed her that she couldn't be there for him, but Killian had been and she was grateful. Until she learned the truth. That Hook killed her husband's father. Now they had to deal with having a son-in-law that was the reason David was fatherless at six-years-old.
David didn't even know yet. She knew how David would feel though. Angry, sad, and betrayed. But he would put on a good face for their daughter. He was too afraid of losing her otherwise. They both were. If they rejected Hook, they were afraid of being rejected by Emma. And neither of them could bear that. She looked down at her sleeping husband.
"I'm not sure how much longer I can do this without you," she said, tearing up.
"Putting on a good face is so much easier when we're a unit," she continued talking to him. She sniffed, as the tears fell down her fair skinned cheeks.
"I miss you. I want you back. I want our happy ending. I don't want to be on their pedestal anymore," she sobbed.
"I want to feel like I can be angry! Be angry without feeling guilty about it!" she cried.
"Or worse...scolded for it," she lamented.
"I know you understand...you're the only one that does. I love you," she whispered, as she caressed his face. About that time, she heard the door open and knew it meant someone was here already. She hurried over to the mirror, which was repaired now that the Queen was gone, and scrubbed the tears away. Time to put on a good face...