Author: MissJayne

Title: Of Dog Whistles and Birthdays


Tony DiNozzo froze as he walked off the elevator.

It wasn't because Gibbs was yelling at someone. It wasn't because he was the first one in for once. It wasn't even because his partner had somehow decided to come to work naked.

It was because the squad room was covered in confetti, tinsel, and various other assorted decorations. Several chandeliers hung from the ceiling, unlit candles were scattered across every desk, and a huge pile of chocolates were in the vicinity of Gibbs' desk.

He only realized how long he had been frozen for when the elevator dinged again and someone else walked into the back of him.

"What are you –" He felt Gibbs freeze as well for just a moment, before he marched over to his desk. Ever the loyal puppy, Tony followed.

"Is this some kind of parallel universe, boss, or am I dreaming?"

Gibbs' response was to slap him on the back of the head.

"Some things never change," Tony muttered. "So I'm not dreaming. What's going on?"

"I should have known," Gibbs growled, stabbing the buttons on his phone with fury. "I should have known and got her barred from the building."

"Her?"

"Good morning," Ziva greeted them as she slung her bag onto her desk.

"Good morning, Zee-vah," he replied. "Notice anything different?"

She looked around for a moment. "Someone has decorated. Where is McGee?"

"Right behind you," the Probie called. "My car wouldn't start this morning. Sorry boss."

They all turned to stare at Gibbs, who was busy stabbing another sequence of numbers into his phone. "Extension for Shepard," he ordered.

"Doesn't he know the Director's extension number?" McGee whispered.

"LJ!" came an overly excited greeting. "How are you this fine morning?"

Director Shepard strolled into the squad room, her arms laden with presents. Or rather, Tony guessed, Lily. It was next to impossible to tell the sisters apart, but Jenny would never greet Gibbs in that way.

Gibbs slammed the phone down and glared at her.

"The correct response would be 'Happy birthday Lily', followed by giving me a present of some sort," she continued, dropping the presents onto his desk.

"Happy birthday Lily," he snarled. "How does a trip to the ER sound if you don't clear this up?"

She shrugged her shoulders, nonplussed by his threat. "Checked your email this morning?"

McGee immediately moved to his desk and began to boot up his computer. Tony let him, knowing that the geek would be able to find whatever she was referring to quicker than anyone else.

Lily smiled at the others. "Good morning to all of you," she smiled. "Like the decorations?"

"Why don't you decorate the CIA?" Gibbs grumbled.

"Because it's Jenny's birthday as well!"

"Is she in yet?"

An innocent look came over Lily's face; Tony was instantly on his guard. Lily only pretended to be innocent when she'd done something wrong. Very wrong. Something that would elicit a response of death from Gibbs.

"She may..." Lily paused. "She may be in a series of meetings outside the Navy Yard today, and I may have accidently dropped her cell phone in her coffee this morning so you can't contact her."

Gibbs glared at her; his team took several steps back. Lily, completely used to it, merely rolled her eyes.

"Is that your best response?" she queried.

Gibbs shook his head softly. "Get out before I get security to throw you out."

"About that... security aren't going to throw me out when I'm here as Jenny for the day. If you can prove to them that I'm actually from the CIA, by all means have a go."

"Boss, I've found the email!" McGee called.

"Spill, McGoo," Tony urged, moving over to the Probie's desk. "What possible reason could Lily have for doing this?"

McGee began to read from the email. "'Director Shepard is holding a birthday party in the squad room this evening. Attendance is only compulsory for Agent Gibbs' team. The theme is James Bond, and all attendees will be expected to dress up. Starts at 1800 and ends...'"

"When does it end?" Gibbs asked.

Tony decided he had to finish the quote off. "'Ends when everyone is passed out drunk because of the spiked punch.' Sounds fun."

"It will be," Lily promised. "And LJ?"

He turned to grace her with another one of his glares.

The redhead put her hand into a pocket and withdrew a dog whistle on a cord. "I need you to wear this around your neck today."

Gibbs reached out and took it. "Any particular reason?"

"Because I said so? I'll explain it later. Abby was looking for you earlier. Could you invite her and Ducky to the event tonight while you're there?"

The boss pulled the cord around his neck and tried to tuck it under his shirt.

"Err, no, it needs to be visible," Lily added.

He gave her a funny look, but obeyed before storming off in the direction of the elevators.

"There a reason it's James Bond?" Ziva inquired.

"James Bond is the best character ever to grace the silver screen!" Tony argued. "What better reason could you have?"

Lily smirked. "Because it means LJ will have to wear a tux. I know how much he hates them, Jenny loves to see him in one, and thus we both get a present out of it." She started to walk towards the stairs.

"What about the dog whistle?" McGee called after her.

The redhead turned around and walked over to McGee instead.

"Erm... I shouldn't ask?" the Probie offered.

She cocked her head to one side, considering. Then, she whirled around to face Tony.

"It's not my fault," he immediately blurted out.

She smiled. "Need a favor."

"Name it." How could he refuse a beautiful woman?

She withdrew a memory stick from another pocket. "I need you to upload this to YouTube. I spent all night trying to get it sorted."

Tony took it from her hands, before settling down at his desk. "What's on it?"

"Something."

"Is this something connected to national security?"

"No."

"Promise?"

She nodded. "I swear on Jenny's life that it's not connected to national security."

He opened the only file on the memory stick, and froze again. "You've got to be kidding me."

"The YouTube account name you'll want is 'jshepard' and the password is 'stayoutofmyaccountmypryingsister'. Both all one word, both all lower case. I'd like at least a million hits by the party, so tag it with whatever you like."

This time, she left for good.

Gibbs looked around the squad room later that evening.

It was still decorated from this morning, and somehow Lily had managed to stick even more decorations up. The candles were all lit, which had led to Ducky murmuring about possible fire hazards. The punch had definitely been spiked, although Gibbs had decided to stick to the free bar provided.

He could see Tony, McGee and Ducky over by the bar, so he headed in their direction.

"Good to see you again," Ducky smiled. "I took the liberty of ordering you a bourbon before the bartender was overwhelmed with orders."

"Thanks," Gibbs nodded, reaching over and taking a sip of his drink. Without warning, someone pulled the glass away and finished the rest of it off.

"Major Anya Amasova," Tony noted. "From 'The Spy Who Loved Me'. Nice choice."

Gibbs didn't have to turn to know who it was. Only one person would dare to steal his drink like that, and he wanted to see the dress on Jenny first rather than Lily.

The redhead sighed. "Have you seen Ziva or Abby yet?" she checked.

"Nope," he answered, still not moving.

She shoved the glass back into his hands. "Jenny will be down in five minutes. We're going to play it so only one of us is around at any one time. I might have to seduce someone to keep me out of the way."

"Jenny will kill you," he warned.

"She's yet to kill me," Lily shrugged. "And she won't. I'd have to sleep with you for her to really come after me."

"And that would never happen," he warned, before she got any ideas.

He heard her turn around. "Oops," she muttered. "Jenny's here, and she's got Ziva and Abby with her. See you later." Without further ado, she disappeared into a crowd.

"Good evening," came a very familiar voice behind him.

Gibbs allowed himself to turn around and look at Jenny. "Happy birthday," he replied.

She was wearing a deep blue dress, with a very low cut front. Her hair was tied back in a loose fashion. For once, she was not wearing a necklace.

"Like it?" she asked.

"I haven't decided," he lied. In reality, he wanted to show her exactly what he thought of the dress, but it would probably get them both arrested for indecent exposure.

He turned his head slightly to take in the others. Ziva wore a red dress, which Tony had proclaimed was 'Melina Havelok from 'For Your Eyes Only'' and then gone very quiet. Her hair was down, curling around her shoulders. Abby wore a demure black dress, her hair pulled into a bun. McGee had muttered something about Vesper Lynd, although Tony had yet to name the movie.

"Care to dance?" Jenny smiled.

Jenny breathed a sigh of relief as she slipped into her office for a moment, Jethro right behind her. She liked socializing, but it was made almost impossible when your sister was present and pretending to be you at the same time. They'd had a few close calls; overall, she thought they'd done well. At least Lily could cover for her while she and Jethro –

"Happy birthday, JL," Lily smirked from the darkness.

Jenny swore before flipping the light switch on. "You have exactly five seconds to get out."

"Not happy with me?" Lily pouted.

Jenny glared at her. "You posted a video of me taking a shower on YouTube this morning! Sorry if I'm still a little mad at you!"

She felt Jethro stiffen by her side. "You did what?" he growled at Lily.

Lily grinned. "Two minor points: I was the one taking the shower, and it was very tastefully done."

"Two minor points," Jenny retorted. "Everyone thinks it's me, and I'm going to make your life very unpleasant for a while."

"How long is a while?" Lily checked.

They both glared at her.

"Would you please relax; SECNAV called YouTube and managed to get it taken down."

"Not before two million people had watched it!" Jenny screamed.

"Tony uploaded it?" Lily tried.

"You gave it to him!" She picked up the stapler from her desk and threw it at her sister.

"'Self expression heals the wounded heart'," Lily quoted.

"Your version of self expression is going to end in your death."

"Enough," Gibbs stepped in. "Lily, scram."

She rolled her eyes. "Do I have to?"

"I'm not giving you a show," he countered.

"Don't stop on my account," she smirked again.

"Lil," Jenny growled.

She held up her hands in surrender, and walked to the door. "Oh, LJ?" she called back over her shoulder.

"Out," he ordered.

"You still got that dog whistle?" she inquired.

Jenny watched as he reached into his pocket and pulled it out. "Why?"

Lily laughed as she shut the door.

Gibbs turned to her. "What have I missed?"

"I made a bet with her that she couldn't get you to carry the stupid dog whistle around for the day without demanding to know why you had to do it."

Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"I honestly thought you'd interrogate her," she protested.

"It's okay," he soothed, drawing her into his arms again. "I'll get her back."

She chuckled. "I can think of a few things to do."

"We'll discuss that later," he decided. "Happy birthday Jen."

"Thanks."

"About that dress… I think it'll look better off than on…"

Lily stepped back from the locked office door. Time to be the Director again. When she had some spare time, she really needed to bug that office…