I don't own the Orville or any of the characters, only Amara.

Gordon tried his best not to look across the medical bay at Alara, but with nothing to do for the 2 hours it would take to mend the broken bones in his arms he found his gaze constantly on her.

How could he have been so stupid? How could he have allowed himself to fall for Alara?

He knew that it wouldn't happen. She loved Ed, not him.

He hated the idea of separating himself from her, but he knew that was the best way to protect both of them. He knew that, in the long run, he would end up hurting her if he didn't let her live her own life.

Claire was running all sorts of scans on her, looking both confused and concerned before she would try another scan with a different instrument. It worried him.

He thought she was just knocked out, but as he watched Claire run yet another scan on her he wondered if it was more serious than he thought.

He was so focused on Alara that it didn't register John had approached him until the man was right next to him.

"Hey man, you alright?"

Gordon looked at his friend with a smile, grateful for the distraction from Alara no matter how brief it turned out to be. "Yeah, broken arm is all."

John nodded before looking over at Alara and then back at Gordon. "And Alara?"

Gordon's smile faded as his eyes drifted to the now too familiar sight. "Claire said she knocked her head up on the bridge, but she's been running a ton of scans on her. Not sure what's going on right now."

John nodded. "You guys still..." he looked at Gordon seriously, as if studying him closely.

Gordon didn't notice the intensity of John's gaze, his own focused on Alara. Still he answered John's question as if nothing were amiss. "We were until Amara came onboard. She still couldn't sleep very well so I was still helping her out with that."

"Dude?"

Gordon looked at John with a confused expression. John had a look of disbelief on his face. Gordon narrowed his eyes. "What's up with you?"

"Are you...?" John seemed unsure how to continue. "I mean...you are...?"

"Dude, spit it out."

John took a step back and took a long look at Gordon, which only made Gordon a bit uneasy. John was very smart and more observant than others took him for. Gordon waited for a moment before taking a deep breath. "You are seriously freaking me out."

John blinked and looked at Gordon again, his eyes still serious.

"Don't lie to me," he said firmly. "You're in love with Alara."

There it was. The very thing he was trying so hard not to admit fully, not even to himself. He had fallen in love with Alara. It was completely ridiculous really. She was in love with another man, his best friend. She was several years younger than him. She was way too good for someone like him in all ways. Yet, he was still in love with her.

Gordon didn't respond, but his gaze drifting to Alara in sadness was enough to confirm what John had already suspected.

"How did that happen?"

Gordon shook his head before looking back at John. "I don't know."

"Are...are you going to tell her?"

Gordon shook his head again. "No," he responded firmly. His gaze traveling back to Alara. Ed, Kelly and Claire were standing next to her getting updated on her situation. How he wished he could be over there and know just what was going on with her.

John looked at his best friend on the ship, a man he had worked next to for months before moving down to Engineering. He knew this man like he was his flesh and blood brother. He could see just how much it was hurting him to stay quiet about this, to keep it inside.

"Gordon," John said gaining Gordon's gaze back to him. "I think you should do it."

"Do what?"

Both men turned from their serious discussion to see that Ed had wandered over to check in with him.

Gordon forced himself to smile at his rival, even if the other man was one unknowingly. "John was just suggesting I look into artificial limbs since I seem to have a bad habit of having them damaged or stolen."

John nodded. "Yeah, trying to liven the mood."

Ed nodded, as if unaware that the conversation he had interrupted hadn't been as serious as it really was between these two men. Luckily they were known pranksters, so seriousness was never considered to be part of them and the lie was easily believed.

"Well, I just wanted to say good job today," Ed said to Gordon. "Your quick flying got us out a bad jam fast."

"Yeah," Gordon said with a slight laugh. "Just gotta do what I can to stay on top." Gordon tried to keep himself from speaking anymore, but he had to know. "How's Alara?"

Ed looked serious. "Claire said she was running some more tests to be sure of a few things, but she is confident that Alara should be up and moving within the next few days."

Gordon nodded, his heart relaxing. Claire was just making sure everything was okay. Alara would be okay. Even if he had to distance himself from her, at least she would still be around and breathing.

Claire walked over at this time with a smile on her face. "How are you feeling?"

"Feeling better."

Claire tapped a few buttons on the machine and it opened to reveal Gordon's arm. He lifted it out and flexed his fingers, all the pain gone.

"Any pain?"

If only she knew how hard that question was to answer in this moment. Physically there was no pain, nothing to indicate anything was ever broken. Emotionally however...there was nothing but pain.

Instead he smiled at her," Nope, all good."

Claire smiled back. "Good. Take the rest of the shift off and rest. It would do you no good to go back to work. If you have any pain later on today, come back and see me and I'll check you out to make sure everything set back correctly."

Gordon nodded before walking out of the Sick Bay, his gaze firmly set on not glancing at Alara lying on a bed only a few feet from him.

John was fast on his heels, wasting no time once out of ear shot of anyone else to continue their previous discussion.

"You need to say something," he said with concern. "I can see that this is eating you up inside."

"It's fine," Gordon replied although it was anything but. They stayed quiet until they reached his temp quarters, both men stepping inside and the lights coming on.

"It isn't fine," John said firmly after the door shut behind them. Gordon went and sat on the couch in the room. "You can't keep this to yourself forever."

"I can and I will," Gordon said firmly before taking a deep breath. "Even if I said something, it wouldn't matter. Alara is in love with someone else."

John seemed shocked by this news as he sat in the other chair in the room. He ran a hand down his face. "But...she was sleeping with you..."

Gordon looked at his buddy, his face expressing his sadness at this topic, but unable to let it go. "It was just sleeping," he said, "For some reason my presence helped her sleep so I was just helping her out. There was never anything sexual about it."

"So you guys never..."

Gordon took a deep breath. He leaned back on the couch, his eyes facing forward. "Only once," he said softly. "She was...very drunk and came onto me. I tried to resist her, but..." he shook his head. "Afterwards we both decided it was a mistake, to just stay friends and forget about that night. That's when she told me she was in love with another man.

"Then she was having the issues sleeping and before I knew it I was getting to know things about her I hadn't before, seeing a side of her that no one else had seen before. I..." he looked at John. "I was stupid and fell in love with her knowing that nothing would ever come of it."

The two men we silent for several minutes. Gordon leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. He felt emotionally drained

"Gordon, I'm sorry."

Gordon smiled at John's words. "It's alright man, " he said. "I did this to myself."

"What are you going to do now?"

"I'll distance myself from her. Eventually we might be able to go back to being just crew mates, maybe even friends. I won't be able to be near her without desiring her for myself. If I did that, it would only hurt me more in the long run."

Gordon looked over at John with a sad smile. "Trust me," he said. "It's better this way."

John heard those words and could only think Gordon was trying to convince himself of that rather than John, but said nothing more on the subject. Instead, the two men sat in silence for a while before John realized too much time had gone by and he was needed back in Engineering.

He stood. "I need to get back, but for what it's worth, I think Alara cares about you more than you think she does. If you want to keep this quiet, then I will, but I still think you should tell her."

Gordon looked at his friend and gave him another sad smile. "See ya later, man," he said as if John had said nothing other than he was leaving.

John nodded at him and turned and left the room.

It was only when he was alone that Gordon allowed himself to let out the pain he was feeling deep inside.

For the first time in years, Gordon cried.

Alara was disoriented when she awoke. This wasn't her bedroom, nor Gordon's and she was sleeping alone. The room was way too bright as well. She opened her eyes, adjusting to the brightness slowly. Her mind was starting to clear as memories were coming back to her.

The last thing she could remember was they were in a battle with a Krill ship. She remembered the ship being tossed about, falling from her chair, pain.

"Oh good, you're awake." Alara turned her head slowly to see Claire standing next to her. "You got a nasty bump when you fell. We were worried."

We? Gordon too?"

She looked around, but it was only her and Claire in the room. Maybe he wasn't worried. She didn't know why it bothered her that he wasn't there when she woke up. It shouldn't bother her. They were just friends...right? But if they weren't friends then what were they?

She pushed the thoughts aside. "How long...?" she said softly.

"About 24 hours. Luckily your body heals pretty quickly."

"Anyone else injured?"

"There were a few bumps and bruises. Lt. Malloy had an arm broken in a few places. Nothing we couldn't handle."

Gordon had been injured. Her heart seized at the thought. What if it had been worse? What if...? She didn't even want to think about it.

"There is something I did want to discuss with you alone," Claire said seriously. Alara raised an eyebrow, but nodded that she was fine with that. "I didn't notice it before when I scanned you, probably because it was too soon to tell, but today while conducting scans I was able to pick up the signs. Were you aware that you're pregnant?"

Alara shot up, her eyes wide. "What?"

"You're pregnant, about a month and a half or so along."

Alara was in shock. She hadn't noticed any signs. Of course she hadn't been looking for any. This early along the only sign would be...lack of sleep...unless the father was nearby.

Oh, no.

Alara already knew that there could only be one option as to who the father was, she had only been with one person that would make the timeline add up. She hadn't even considered that she could be pregnant, so much had been going on that she hadn't noticed.

"What am I going to do?"

Alara hadn't realized that she had spoken out loud until Claire answered her. "You'll be alright, but you should probably tell the father about this. I'm guessing he isn't Xelayan since the only other one on the ship is your sister."

Alara nodded. "He's human," she replied.

She wasn't sure how she could tell Gordon. What would she say? How would he react? This wasn't supposed to happen. What if he rejected her? She was ready to panic at the thought.

Claire seemed to notice her reaction and took her hands in her own, drawing Alara's worried gaze to her calm one. "Listen to me Alara," she said firmly. "There is nothing to be afraid of. Children are born every day. If you are scared to tell the father because of how he will react, don't be. If he cannot accept it, then you can raise the child alone. I've raised two myself. You will be okay."

Alara took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She nodded, but couldn't bring herself to speak.

Claire nodded back. "Good," she said softly. "You may want to talk to the Captain about this as well. You will need a leave of absence from your post for at least a year. Xelayan's typically carry for 6 months, but since this child is also half human, which carries for 9 months, we have no idea really when the child could be born. You will need the extra time just in case."

Alara nodded as she listened to Claire. Although she was hearing and understanding, she still couldn't get the thought out of her head that she was carrying a baby.

Her baby.

Gordon's baby.

Their baby.

Even thought she was terrified of how he would react to the news, she still couldn't help the feeling of joy that filled her at the thought.