I do not own the Orvile or any of the characters, I do own Amara however.
To say that her parents were thrilled to have her and Amara home would be an understatement. To say that they were happy that Alara was pregnant would be an overstatement.
Amara, who was also completely unaware of the pregnancy, was just as shocked as her parents had been when Alara gave them the news.
Alara's mother was reasonably shocked at first, but then embraced the idea of a grandchild.
Amara was the same, excited about the niece or nephew she would have in the future.
It was Alara's father who was the problem.
He insisted that Alara had been abandoned, even when she stated quite plainly that she was not. He was upset that the father was human. Most importantly, he wanted to know the father's name.
This was something only Alara knew, and she wasn't about to share it. Not until she at least told the father about it, if she could even get a conversation going with him that was when she returned.
Sleep was something that was still eluding her until she discovered she had accidentally packed one of Gordon's shirts in her bag. She must have picked it up one day and thought it was hers only to find that it wasn't much later. She slept with it and sleep came easier. It still smelled like Gordon.
Her mother went to all her doctor's appointments with her, Amara held her hair back when she was sick, even her father helped out by bringing her crackers and water in the morning to help with the sickness.
When the day came, Alara was sure that she was ready. Of course, she had only been prepared for a Xelayan childbirth.
She hadn't realized how difficult childbirth could be, especially since her child was from two different planets. The pain was almost too much for her, but she forced herself to ignore it as best she could. She was stronger than this, she knew it.
Then, after what seemed like hours, she heard the cry of a baby ring out. Relief and joy flooded her at that sound.
"It's a male," the doctor said. "And he's healthy."
Alara let out tears of happiness at those words. Her baby was healthy. Her boy was healthy.
The baby was placed in her arms and she couldn't help the feelings rushing though her at the sight.
He had Gordon's wide brown eyes, his forehead was smooth as well, he had Alara's ears, she could even see Gordon's nose there too.
But the most prominent feature was the small tuff of dark red hair on his head.
She smiled down at her baby, joy filling her up at the sight. Tears filled her eyes and she let them fall as she looked at him.
She already knew that in 4 months she would need to return to the Orville. She also knew that if his hair color remained the same in that time it would be impossible to hide his parentage. After all, Gordon was the only red-headed man on board, it would be pretty easy to figure out.
However, in this moment, none of that mattered.
"What's his name?"
Alara looked up at the nurse. She hadn't thought of one yet, unsure what exactly to call him. She looked at the boy, who resembled his father so much, and knew that an Earth name would be the best thing for him.
"Jack," she said to herself, remembering that there had been an 20th century actor that Gordon had mentioned once before with that name. "His name is Jack."
The nurse looked at Alara confused, after all that wasn't a common name on Xelaya, but said nothing of it. Instead she smiled. "That's a wonderful name."
Alara smiled back before returning her gaze to Jack in her arms. "Hello, Jack," she said. "I'm your Mommy."
Jack didn't make any motion that he understood her, he yawned and looked at her with tired eyes.
The door opened and her parents walked in followed by Amara. Today there was no words about abandoned daughters, responsibility, shotgun weddings or the like. Today, both of her parents were too busy looking at their first grandchild.
"He's beautiful darling," her mother said before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "You did wonderfully."
"Thanks," she said. "I named him Jack. It's an Earth name."
Her father twitched at the mention of Earth, but said nothing. Instead he smiled down at the small bundle in his daughter's arms. After a few more minutes, the parents left leaving the sisters alone.
Amara stepped forward and looked down at the young Jack, who was not sleeping.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Alara looked up at her older sister, confusion plain on her face. "Tell you?"
Amara looked at Alara. "Tell me that you and Gordon were together."
Alara froze. "What?" Alara didn't know what to say.
Amara smiled. "Anyone who's seen him and this child would know. He looks just like him."
Alara had figured that much out on her own, but to hear someone else say it only confirmed her worst thoughts. "Don't tell Dad," she begged. Amara nodded. "And we weren't together. Jack was a result of one night when I was very drunk and seduced him. It was weeks before you even came on board the ship and it was just the one time."
"So you never thought about a repeat of that night?"
Alara blushed. She couldn't deny it. She had thought about it dozens of times. "Gordon isn't interested in me like that," she said as a means of defense. "Besides, I'm sure he only gave him to my seduction because I was so aggressive about it."
Amara chuckled. "I don't know about that," she said. "He never responded to any of my seduction attempts, and I was even more aggressive over a longer period of time."
That was true. He had actively tried to avoid Amara, almost running away from her. He had said that he wasn't attracted to her, but that didn't make sense. All men were attracted to Amara, it had always been that way. Why not Gordon? It didn't add up.
"I'm so confused," Alara said softly to herself.
Amara sat next to her gently and wrapped her arms around the woman and child with a smile. "I think that there is more between you and Gordon than either of you realize. In time, it will all come clear. Meanwhile," Amara gently touched Jack's head "we just need to focus on this little guy."
Alara smiled. Her sister, who had always been flirty, really was smarter than she let on most of the time. "Thanks," Alara said.
Amara nodded before standing and walking towards the door. Before she left she turned and looked back at Alara over her shoulder. "Although Jack is your focus for now, don't discredit his father. If he knew about Jack, he might surprise you."
Alara didn't get a chance to respond before Amara walked out of the room. She looked back down at her son.
She already knew that Jack would look just like Gordon as he grew. She would show Jack all the love that Gordon had rarely received from his own parents. She would love this child so much that if Gordon didn't want to be part of his life, Jack would never miss him.
She didn't want that. She wanted Gordon to be in Jack's life.
She could almost see them, Jack a bit older running around Gordon, giggling. Jack running up to her with a wide smile, his little arms wrapping around her neck as she pulled him into a tight hug.
Then another pair of arms encircled them both, Gordon's. He held them both close to him, looking down at them with that boyish smile, his eyes bright with mirth.
She shook the fantasy away. Jack was sleeping now, exhausted from the day's events. She almost laughed.
She knew, even if she and Gordon were to raise Jack together it would not guarantee that they would be in some sort of relationship. That had never been part of their lives before Jack and she doubted his existence would change that.
Even if she could admit to herself that the idea sounded so very wonderful.
The months had passed so slowly, but here they were again. Starbase 239. Gordon couldn't help the nervousness filling him at seeing Alara again. This year had been unbearable.
There had been days when he had wanted to slug Ed for even speaking her name, but he didn't. Ed had actually noticed Gordon's attitude change and called him out, as a friend, about it. Gordon had laughed it off.
John was the only one who understood, the only one who knew what Gordon was going through. He didn't do anything more except make sure he ate and slept, but that was enough.
Now, the year was over and Alara was coming back to the Orville. She wouldn't be able to go right back to her duties as Chief of Security, but she would be on the ship. He could see her again.
Gordon prayed that he would be able to keep it together.
Despite the distance, despite the time that had passed, his feelings for Alara had only grown stronger. He would approach her, as a friend, and find out if Ed had been the reason she had left. If so, Ed was going to get it. If not, well...he wasn't sure what he would do if he got to that bridge. He knew that if he tried to be her friend he wouldn't be able to stop himself from trying to keep her for himself. But he also knew that he couldn't go back to ignoring her either.
It was all fucked up.
The shuttle left Starbase 239 and headed to the Orville, one Alara Kitan on board.
Alara looked out the front of the shuttle, her heart pounding in her chest. Jack was in her arms, held tightly against her.
His hair hadn't changed. If anything it had just gotten longer and darker, making him look even more like Gordon. Maybe no one would notice, but she doubted it.
Amara had offered to come with her, but Alara had told her it wasn't necessary. After all, she needed someone to stay and look after her father. After this whole year he still wanted to know who the father was and Alara had never given him a name.
When the shuttle landed in the Shuttle Bay of the Orville, Alara smiled as she saw that both Captain Mercer and Commander Grayson were waiting for her. Although Ed knew why she had left, he was going to be shocked when he saw a baby that resembled his old friend so much.
She took a couple deep breaths before stepping out.
Ed walked forward right away, greeting her warmly. She smiled before glancing over at Kelly. Kelly was looking at her in shock. Ed hadn't even told her why Alara had left. Her secret had been kept.
"Alara...you...a baby?"
Alara smiled. "I'm guessing the Captain kept my secret for me. Thank you," she said to Ed. He nodded. Kelly stepped forward.
"This is why you left?"
Alara shrugged. "Medical leave. I couldn't very well be Chief of Security while pregnant. Claire would never have allowed it."
Kelly looked down at the child and her eyes went wide. "He looks..."
"Human?" Alara finished. "I know. His father is human."
Kelly shook her head but said nothing more. Ed looked down at the child too, his own eyes widening in shock. It was at this moment Alara knew that, like Amara, anyone would be able to see the connection.
Ed looked back up at Alara, his eyes still wide. "He has red hair," he said, almost like a question.
Alara smiled. "Yeah, he got that from his father, as well as his nose and eyes."
Kelly looked at Ed. "Red hair...from his father...?" Ed nodded as if Kelly hadn't heard the words that Alara had just said, even thought she was standing close enough that there was no way she didn't hear her.
Kelly looked back at the baby and Alara before taking a step back in shock. "You mean to tell me," she said, her voice getting louder as she spoke, "that this baby is Gordon's?"
The last word rang out in the now silent Shuttle Bay. Alara heard a tool drop to the floor, but no other sound. Jack woke up and was sniffling, his small face bunched up before he started to cry.
Alara looked down at Jack and gently cooed him, calming him back down. She looked up at the still shocked pair standing in front of her.
Chances were good, now that Kelly had blurted it out to everyone, that Gordon would learn about Jack before she could talk to him. She had wanted to be the one to tell him herself, but fate seemed to have other plans. A story this juicy wouldn't stay in the Shuttle Bay for long.
At least then he would talk to her.
She smiled at Ed and Kelly. "It's been a long trip," she said. "Jack needs a nap and I know I could stand a few hours sleep myself. I'll just see myself to my quarters."
She didn't wait for a response. Instead she walked out of the still quiet Shuttle Bay and down the corridors to her quarters. It was only a matter of time before Gordon came to see her and she wanted to be well rested when he arrived.
To say that he was suddenly aware of eyes on him in the Mess Hall would be an accurate statement. When he looked up to see just who was staring at him, he was surprised that it was nearly everyone in the room, and no one was trying to hide it.
It was a bit nerve wracking when he realized it as he had no idea why that would be. John sat down across from him but Gordon didn't turn to him.
"Hey John, any idea why everyone is looking at me?" He turned to John to find the same look of shocked surprise everyone else had when looking at him today. Gordon looked at his friend in confusion. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Dude..." John said, his voice conveying his shock.
Gordon couldn't take it anymore. He sat his spoon down and looked at John seriously. "What the hell is going on here? Why are you, and everyone else, looking at me like that?"
"Have you not heard?"
Gordon raised his eyebrows. Now he was getting somewhere. "Heard what?"
John cleared his throat. "Alara didn't come back alone," he said softly.
Gordon's heart seized. "Like her sister came back with her or..."
John shook his head. "No, not her sister. It's..."John looked like he had a hard time coming up with the words. Gordon's mind was flying. If not her sister then who? A lover? He didn't like that idea, not one bit. If he lost to Ed, that was one thing. He had known about that since the beginning. But if he had lost her to some no name person he couldn't stand it. He would have to transfer out of here, go to another ship, any ship.
Gordon stood. John's eyes flew up to him. "It's fine," Gordon said. "Don't tell me."
Gordon turned to leave the room, still well aware of the eyes on him. Why there were staring at him didn't make sense if it was about Alara's lover. It had nothing to do with him at all.
He was walking down the corridor to head to his quarters when he ran into Issac.
"Ah, Lt. Malloy. It is good that I could speak with you. Might I have a moment of your time?"
Gordon sighed, wanting to push his way past the artificial life form and just go to his quarters and sulk. "What do you need Issac?" he said reluctantly.
"I was merely curious how you felt to learn you were a father?"
Gordon's whole body froze. His mind went blank, the only word left was 'father'. He looked at Issac, his dark eyes wide. "What?"
Issac spoke again. "I am merely curious as to how you felt upon learning that you were a father to Lt. Kitan's son? It must have been a shocking piece of information to hear."
Gordon wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. This had to be a joke, a prank. Alara couldn't be pregnant with his child. They hadn't seen each other in a year. He didn't laugh.
"I haven't seen Alara in a year," he said. "I can't be her child's father." It hurt him to say those words. If Alara was pregnant, he wished he was the father. He found that he wanted everything with Alara, the whole package, everything. A dream that he knew couldn't come true.
"Lt. Kitan's son is already on board the Orville," Issac said. "She brought him back with her from her home planet. From what I have heard, the boy is named Jack and looks similar to you. Were you unaware of this?"
Gordon couldn't believe he was hearing this. Alara had already given birth? To a boy? Who she gave an Earth name to? Who resembled him?
Gordon didn't respond to Issac as he quickly ran down the corridors. The stares in the Mess Hall, they made sense now. If Alara claimed that the child was his they would be wondering how it had happened.
He stopped at Alara's quarters and pushed the bell without thinking. He didn't know what he was going to say or how he was going to react. He took some deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart.
The door opened and he found himself lost in her eyes yet again.
Alara was standing there before him, looking just as she had when she left. Her hair was a bit longer, but she didn't appear any different. Maybe the rumors were wrong...
A cry, a baby's cry, came from behind her and Alara's head turned. She glanced back at him. "Come on it," she said before walking towards that sound.
He walked in and allowed the door to shut behind him. Alara had gone into the bedroom and Gordon thought about following her, but just couldn't bring himself to do so. He thought about sitting, but as soon as he did he stood back up. He couldn't stop moving.
"Gordon?"
He turned to her sweet voice and found that she was holding something in her arms.
Not something, someone. A baby, a child.
"This is Jack," she said looking at the small being in her arms before she looked back up at him. "He's our son."
Gordon fell onto the sofa then, his entire body going limp at those words. His eyes stayed on Alara and the bundle in her arms.
"A baby?" he said softly, as if still trying to wrap his mind around it. "I have a son?"
Alara smiled softly at him before crossing the room and sitting next to him. "He looks just like you," she said turning the bundle towards him. "See?"
Gordon looked down at the small boy in Alara's arms. He had Alara's ears, that much was obvious. Otherwise, he looked human. He had Gordon's eyes and nose. Most noticeably, that red hair on top of his head.
Before Gordon realized he was doing it, he reached over and gently touched the top of Jack's head. It was so soft.
Jack reached up and his small hand wrapped around Gordon's pinky finger, still too small to wrap all the way around. Gordon couldn't help the overwhelming feeling that swelled up inside him at this.
Never once had Gordon considered fatherhood, never once had he thought about having children of his own. But now, looking at his son, Gordon felt like this was how it should be. He already loved this child more than himself and he had only seen him today, for a few moments.
"Gordon..."
He looked up at Alara, who had lifted a free hand to his face. Her hand was soft against his cheek. It was then that he realized that he had been crying as Alara gently wiped the tears away.
"I'm sorry," he said softly, taking a deep breath. "I don't know what came over me."
Alara smiled. "It's okay. I felt the same way when I first heard him cry. It was so overwhelming that the tears just flowed out of me."
Gordon looked back down at Jack and then back at Alara. "Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was calm and curious. He wanted to be angry that she hadn't said anything to him, but found that he couldn't in this moment. Sitting here, with her, their son in her arms. He just wanted to know.
"I tried," she said, "many times after I was released from Sick Bay. You kept avoiding me."
Gordon remembered. She had tried talking to him alone, many times. He had run from her. He wondered idly if she was still in love with Ed. He pushed that thought aside. Even if she was, he would always be connected to her because of Jack. Even if nothing more came of it, at least he could see her happy.
"I'm so sorry," he said. "I have no excuses."
She smiled at him again. "It's in the past," she said softly.
She was so beautiful, too beautiful to have gotten caught up with the likes of him. He knew that, but still couldn't stop himself from leaning closer and pressing a soft kiss to her lips.
Alara hadn't been expecting it, but at the soft touch of his lips on hers she felt that familiar warmth flood her. This was the warmth that had been with her when she had slept in the same bed as him. Gordon's warmth.
The kiss was soft and gentle, over way too quickly. Gordon pulled back and smiled at Alara. "You gave me a son," he said. "Thank you."
Alara smiled back. "You gave me one too," she said with a slight nudge to his shoulder. "Thank you."
The two laughed as Jack looked up at them. Then his little face contorted and he let out a cry.
Both looked back at the boy in Alara's arms. "He must be hungry," she said before standing. "Here!" Before Gordon realized what exactly was happening, Alara had placed his son in his arms. "I'll be right back."
Gordon hadn't held a baby before. He was terrified. He looked down at the small crying bundle without a clue as to how to calm him.
"Come on little guy," he said as if trying to reason with a crying baby. "I'm you Dad, you should listen to me."
Jack kept crying.
"You know it just causes your mother trouble when you cry," he tried.
Jack kept crying.
Gordon rolled his eyes before he stated gently swaying back and forth. Jack's cries slowed but didn't quite stop. Then Gordon started to sing.
It was an old Earth nursery rhyme that was actually quite dark when one thought about the lyrics, what with babies falling out trees and all. However, the melody was solid and kept a gentle tone. So he kept singing, watching as Jack's face turned from red crying to mildly confused to content.
He didn't notice Alara standing in the doorway to the bedroom, a bottle in her hand. He didn't see the tears that filled her eyes at the sight either.
Alara couldn't stop the tears no matter how she tried. This is exactly what she had hoped for. Gordon's acceptance of Jack. She had been so worried that she had almost called the Orville and said that she wasn't coming back, but she knew that wasn't an option. She had a job to do after all.
Now, looking at father and son together, Alara felt wave after wave of emotion fill her. It overwhelmed her and she let out the tears.
It wasn't until she let out a sniffle that Gordon looked and up and noticed her tears. His eyes narrowed in worry. "Alara?"
She shook her head. "Nothing," she said. "Hormones are still a bit messed up from the pregnancy and then seeing the two of you together, well... it just got to me a bit." She smiled at him as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.
She walked over and handed Gordon the bottle and helped him feed Jack.
"So," he said softly as Jack drank from the bottle, "what do we do now?"
Alara gave a slight shrug. "I don't know," she said. "This is all new to me. I always expected to be married when or if I had a child. I don't know what we should do here."
"All I know," Gordon said, "is I want to be in Jack's life."
Alara nodded. "Yes, I want that too."
Gordon looked around the room and then back to Alara. "Maybe we should share quarters until he's a little older. Share the responsibility of caring for him."
Alara smiled. "I like that plan."
Gordon nodded before looking around again. "My quarters are too small, so I would have to move in here." He looked at the couch he was currently sitting on. "I could just sleep on the couch. It should work."
Alara shook her head. "Just sleep in the bed with me."
Gordon froze. Then slowly he looked up at Alara with serious eyes. "Alara, I can't do that."
Alara narrowed her eyes. "Why not? We did it before."
Gordon took a deep breath. He wasn't sure how to explain it to her, but he knew that if he slept in the same bed with her now, knowing that she was in love with another. It would kill him.
"I just don't think it would be a good idea," he said. "Besides, what would Ed think?"
Alara blinked. "Ed? What does he have to with this?"
Gordon shook his head. "No, I just...Alara, I can't sleep next to you. Please understand. It just wouldn't be a good idea."
Alara really looked at Gordon now. He looked like he was in pain, as if the idea of sleeping next to her was painful, like pulling teeth.
"I see," she said in a clipped tone. She couldn't help feeling upset at this. He obviously loved Jack, but wanted nothing to do with her.
Then why had he kissed her?
She shook that thought out of her head. She looked back at Gordon with firm eyes. "You can sleep on the couch," she said. "It's best for Jack that we are together."
Alara stood and walked out of the room and Gordon felt a pull at his heart. He hadn't tried to offend her, but he couldn't sleep next to her if she was thinking of another man. It would hurt too much.
He looked down at Jack and smiled at his son. Regardless of Alara's feelings toward Ed or Gordon's feelings towards Alara, Gordon knew one thing for sure.
Both he and Alara would do anything for Jack.