This was written as a gift to Kelpie169 as part of the Fairest of the Rare's #LF2018
I didn't beta this, so all mistakes are my own. It's nonsense. Battered nonsense.
I own nothing.
She had flour on her face; her hair a giant mass tied up on the top of her head. The apron she wrapped around her small frame deemed useless – batter and ingredients splattered on and down her shirt and jeans. She could thank Fred and George for that, the two insufferable boys never being able to cook anything without the insistence of tossing eggs and flour all about at one another. Unfortunately for Hermione, she was stuck in the middle.
She should have known it was coming, the twinkles in both of their eyes as each of their hands began to raise with the corners of their mouths. The prats. There was no avoiding it, the joint handfuls of whisked eggs slopping onto the chests of the other, Hermione getting the remnants from both. She wanted to scream in frustration, but their laughter was infectious and she was beaming, joining their playful antics as they chased one another in the kitchen of the Burrow.
They should have been prepared for the wrath of the Weasley Monarch, the woman with the cheeriest of smiles and the scariest of glares, but they were lost in the enjoyment of one another's company.
"Fred! George! Hermione!" They all stopped in their tracks, sniggering under their breaths and a layer of flour. Hermione winced at the emphasis on her name – as if she should have known better. Which she did, truly, but the twins had a way of throwing the rules from the mind. It was relaxing really, not having to worry so much all the time.
"He started it!" The twins said in unison, pointing at one another and causing Hermione to blow a puff of floured dust into the air from her outburst of laughter.
"Percy will be home in an hour! You're wearing more of that cake than what is in the pan to bake!"
She was right of course, though they all three shook their heads in disagreement, a large thick glob of batter fell from Hermione's hair as her head moved from side to side, hitting the floor in a large splat!
Throwing her arms up, Molly groaned as she fled the kitchen, shouting to clean it up as she disappeared. Fred and George eyed the bowl of batter before them on the table - looking past the remaining of the batter scattered everywhere else - then back at one another again. They clapped a hand on the opposing twin's shoulder.
"I say we add a little something extra to Ol' Pinhead's cake, yeah? What do you say Gred?"
"I think that's an excellent idea, Forge, I must agree."
Together, the twins peered over at Hermione with mirrored quirked brows, their palms were rubbing together and she could practically see the smoke pouring from their ears from their brains running in overdrive. With a roll of her eyes, she shrugged her shoulders.
"Ugh, fine. But nothing too terrible, boys."
oOoOo
Everyone gathered around the cluttered table with an eager Percy perched at its center and the mountainous cake sitting atop the surface directly in front of him. If Hermione was being honest, she was quite proud of how the cake sort of came together. She realized since started dating the mischievous duo, that you just have to let them get their energy out - which she did twice after they popped the cake into the oven.
Molly had just finished lighting the candles and stepped a half step back when - the beautiful pink and green decorated masterpiece exploded into the middle Weasley's face. It was hard standing there holding a straight face - even Arthur chimed in with a chuckle or two - as Percy sat perfectly still. Hermione thought he might be smiling, but it was hard to tell with icing and cake smashed onto your face.
When Percy didn't react, not even a little, the laughter began to die down, and Fred began to scourgify the cake mess away. Speaking to him to not be such a knob arse. Then that is when it happened - once the scourgify cleared the icing away - Percy's head was completely gone.
"Gred! We've decapitated our brother!"
"Forge, how much powder did you put into that batter?" The boys were shouting, a smirking Hermione standing to the side, allowing them to jump about and blame the other for the ingredients they so wrongly measured. Laughter began to roll again, and the twins - who were trying to strangle the other - stopped mid choke to see Percy standing beside the table with a smirk, arms crossed and a right proper head.
"Pinhead!" They shouted together, taking their brother into their arms.
"You honestly think I wouldn't know what my prankster brothers wouldn't be up to?" Percy shifted his gaze to a still smirking Hermione. The twins followed his eyes.
"You're rather predictable these days," she said holding up a familiar looking Headless Hat from their shop. "I knew the moment you volunteered us to bake that ridiculous cake you'd be up to no good." She pulled a small cupcake from behind her back and handed it to Percy. "Happy birthday."
"You sold us out," said Fred walking to her right.
"To the Humongous Bighead no less!" George was on her left.
They wrapped their arms around her waist from either side, leaning in to kiss her cheeks. With one last wink in Percy's direction, she shoved two additional cupcakes into the boys faces. Their mouths fell open, a justified Percy stood nodding his head.
"Oops. How wicked of me." Hermione said with a wink.